


Haruhi Fujioka and the Goblet of Fire

by Storz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Adventure, Drama, F/M, Humor, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-21 01:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 102,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13730148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storz/pseuds/Storz
Summary: Dumbledore smiled benevolently. "It is my great pleasure to inform you that Hogwarts will play host to the legendary wizarding tournament and to three schools: the proud sons of Durmstrang, the lovely ladies of Beauxbatons, and the charming students of the elite and prestigious Ouran Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry."





	1. The Announcement

**Author's Note:**

> This story was an accident. I was finishing up my Kyoya/Haruhi story and starting on a Mori/Haruhi story and thought I'd take a mental break and reread Harry Potter, and, well, the characters wouldn't stay put. Anyway, the story assumes familiarity with both the Ouran and Harry Potter universes and their characters. This is a fanfic, after all. Lastly, I'm rating this story Teen. I'll try to keep it at the same level as the Harry Potter source material, but that does include mild violence and occasional mild swearing.

 

* * *

~oOo~

The students all gasped at Dumbledore's announcement. "In times long past there was a legendary tournament held between the three major European schools of wizardry. This event has not been held in over a century, but if you are familiar at all with wizarding legends, you will have heard of the great feats of skill and courage exhibited in this competition. Three schools, three champions, three challenges. But the world grows smaller with every passing year and the vast distances that once divided even the magical world disapparate before our eyes, so the Departments of International Magical Cooperation and Magical Games and Sports have decided that this time we should include another school. There are several very fine schools of magic around the world and that cross pollination can only serve to strengthen us all. The choice of which school to invite was difficult, as you can imagine, so the Minister simply opted to start with the oldest schools in the east and work their way to the younger schools in the west. So this year, Hogwarts will play host to the legendary wizarding tournament and to three schools: the proud sons and daughters of Durmstrang, the lovely ladies and gentlemen of Beauxbatons, and the charming students of the elite and prestigious Ouran Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

The Gryffindors all looked at Hermione. "Never heard of that last one. Where is it?"

Hermione shook her head. "It's only mentioned briefly in  _An Analysis of Modern Magical Education._  It's apparently a private school in Japan."

"I thought the Japanese school was called Mahoutokoro," said Seamus Finnegan, their fellow fourth year. The others all looked at him in shock for knowing something only Hermione would. "What?" he said. "They're really good at Quidditch."

"That is the main Japanese school, yes. And all Japanese wizards are offered a place there, just as British wizards are offered a place at Hogwarts. But apparently there is another school, a private school, that your parents have to pay for you to go to. They are very selective about who they admit."

"Meaning...?" Ron asked.

"Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families."

"So they're like the Slytherins on steroids," Harry said.

"What are steroids?" said Ron.

"Oh, um, think of it like an  _Engorgio_  charm," Harry explained.

The Gryffindors all shuddered at the thought of anyone that was Slytherin, only more so.

"Maybe not," Hermione fidgeted. "The book was kind of vague, but apparently Ouran was a large part of why You-Know-Who's supporters never got a strong foothold in Japan."

~oOo~

"Ok, why are we going to England again?" Haruhi said

"I believe we explained it to you," Kyoya replied with his customary distain. "There is an important tournament to which we have been invited."

"I got that," she said. "It's just ... why would they choose us and why would we want to go? It doesn't seem like a particularly profitable endeavor." She tried to appeal to his pragmatic nature.

"Quite the contrary, it has the potential to be extremely profitable to each of us, though for different reasons. As you know, Honey-sempai is the heir to the Haninozuka clan, the most accomplished and dangerous combat wizards in Asia, likely in the world. But because of his small stature and his fondness for cute things, he is not taken seriously by certain people. Being chosen as champion and winning this tournament would remove those reservations.

"The Morinozukas have been faithful retainers to the Haninozukas for hundreds of years. It is unthinkable that Honey-senpai would put himself in danger without Mori-senpai offering to stand by his side or take his place. Also, there are many in Japan who believe the Morinozukas are merely servants and pale imitations of the Haninozukas. For Mori-senpai to be chosen and win would raise his family's stature and establish them as a major house in their own right.

"Tamaki's grandmother has never accepted him into the family, let alone acknowledged him as heir. Winning this would force her to do so with the added benefit that because it would be inconceivable that the Suoh heir was illegitimate, she would also be forced to allow his parents to marry as they have wished since before he was born.

"And I - I have always been forced to compete against my older brothers, my tally of accomplishments weighed against theirs with their seven and ten-year head start. But they have never done anything on this scale. And because of the age restrictions, they will never be able to."

"Yeah, about those age restrictions," she said. "The last two years of school only, right? The twins and I aren't even eligible to enter. Why are we going?"

"Duh," said Hikaru. "It'd be really boring to be stuck here if the rest of the club is there."

"Yeah," his twin Kaoru chimed in. "Without Milord to make fun of, there'd be nothing to do."

"That's great for you guys, but I don't want to go!" Haruhi said.

"And precisely how are you going to pay your debt if you are here and we are all there?" Kyoya said. "I agreed not to charge you interest as long as you were actively working on the principal, but if you don't come with us, I will be forced to add a year's worth of interest on to your debt."

She made a noise of surrender. "So I'm just supposed to go and be your cheerleader?"

Tamaki's eyes lit up. "Our little girl is going to cheer me on?"  _In the theater of his mind, he pictured Haruhi in a gauzy, pink dress batting her eyelashes while saying "Oh Tamaki-senpai, you're so brave, you're my hero. I just love, love, love watching you in action. But you mustn't allow yourself to be hurt. I couldn't live if anything happened to you!"_

_"You needn't fear, my love," he said gazing into her eyes. "I will always return to you."_

_She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly._

"Your concern means so much to me!" Tamaki took her in his arms and swung her around until she started to get sick.

"Mori-senpai!" she called out.

In what was by now a well-practiced move, Mori walked over and as Tamaki swung her past, intercepted her and lifted her free, leaving Tamaki twirling on his own.

"Thanks, senpai."

"Hn." He nodded and smiled.

"Do I at least a get to be a girl while we're there?"

Tamaki's eyes lit up. "We'll get you dresses and hair bows and..."

Kyoya intervened. "Considering this will be covered by international media and the students at Ouran will be following it closely, I think for now we should keep things as they are."

"Of course you do," Haruhi deadpanned. "So when exactly are we supposed to go and how are we supposed to get there?"

~oOo~

It was a cold, clear evening; the last fading light of the sun taunted a pale, transparent-looking moon shining over the Forbidden Forest. The Hogwarts students filed out of the castle arranged by their houses and years doing their best to look forward and respectable but out of the corner of their eyes, they were glancing around at each other.

"Who do you reckon is going to be the Hogwarts champion?" Dean Thomas whispered.

"Fred and George said they're going to give it a go," Ron whispered back.

"Are they old enough?" Neville said.

"No, but that's never stopped them before."

"I heard Ernie McMillan say Cedric Diggory from Hufflepuff was going to try," Parvati Patil said.

"Oh please, that twit, Hogwarts champion?" said Ron.

"You could stand to be more like that twit. Top student in his class, Hufflepuff seeker,  _and_  he's a prefect," said Hermione.

"Do you have a crush on him? Or is it just because he's handsome?" said Ron scathingly.

"Excuse me, I don't like people just because they're handsome!" said Hermione indignantly.

Ron coughed with a sound which came across an awful lot like " _Lockhart_!"

Professor McGonagall glared at them, bringing silence for a few minutes.

Ron stared at the gates of the castle. "How d'you reckon they're coming? The train?"

"Too far for the Japanese to come by train," said Hermione.

"That rules out broom sticks," Harry commented.

"A Portkey? Or they could Apparate?" suggested Ron.

"For the fiftieth to time, you can't Apparate inside the Hogwarts grounds," said Hermione impatiently.

Harry looked thoughtful. "Your dad said wizards can't resist showing off when they get together…"

"Aha!" Dumbledore called out, "The delegation from Beauxbatons approaches!"

Almost lost against the evening sky, a blue and gold shape soared overhead skimming over the treetops. The curious shape revealed itself to be a gigantic powder blue carriage drawn by a dozen enormous winged horses. They flew in a wide, smooth arc around the lake before landing on the lawn in front of the Hogwarts students. Harry just had time to see the door of the carriage bore a coat of arms (two crossed, golden wands, each emitting three stars) before it opened. A very large, very elegant woman stepped down and walked forward towards Dumbledore, extending a hand glittering with jewels. "My dear Madame Maxime, welcome to Hogwarts."

The students scanned the sky, waiting for the next party to arrive, but instead were met by a strange muffled roar like a waterfall.

"They're coming in at the lake!" yelled Lee Jordan, pointing down at it. "Look at the lake!"

The surface of the lake, smooth only moments before, was now roiling, bubbling and heaving, sending great waves crashing to the shore. Then, in the middle of the lake, a whirlpool appeared. A large black pole began to rise out of the heart of the maelstrom, and then they saw a flag, a mast, rigging and sails.

"It's a ship!" Harry said to Ron and Hermione.

The magnificent vessel, all dark wood and dark sails, rose ghostlike from the turbulent water, cresting the whirlpool and riding the waves to the shore of the lake. An anchor splashed in the water, and a solid black oak plank made a thunk as it settled onto the bank. A man, Dumbledore's age by the look of him, strolled down the plank like the master of the universe, swathed in a cloak of sable and silver fur. He held his arms wide as he approached Dumbledore. "Albus!"

"Igor!"

The two men embraced, then the Durmstrang headmaster turned to Madame Maxime. "The Flower of the South is lovely as ever, I see. Has our other guest arrived yet?"

"Not yet," replied Dumbledore.

" 'Ave you ever met zis man?" Maxime asked.

"I have not, but it appears we have only a few minutes to wait." Dumbledore gestured to the cleft between the hills.

Out of the East came an indistinct pink and white cloud. At first, they all thought it was just that: a mist catching the sunset. Coming closer it became apparent that it was something more substantial; a flock of small exotic birds or perhaps butterflies. But as it approached nearer still, the pink and white torrent revealed itself to be a mass of cherry blossoms borne on the East Wind. As they reached the grounds of the castle they surged upward and began to swirl on air currents no one could feel. They did not settle on the ground as the magnificent carriage had but rather found a low-lying cloud and began to condense in tighter and tighter until they resolved themselves into a miniature baroque palace. Another spray of blossoms tumbled out from the door, delicately piling on each other in swirls that caught the setting sun. Pink blossoms to turned rose gold and transformed into a magnificent staircase with gilt and wrought iron railings.

The man who emerged had more fair-coloring than they expected of a Japanese man; fair skinned with light brown hair. But what made the eyes of the muggle-borns go wide was his manner of dress.

An immaculately tailored business suit.

If it hadn't been bright white with a powder blue tie, he could have walked into any boardroom anywhere in the world and not been out of place. The way he carried himself, he might have been able to get away with it anyway.

He descended the stairs, the pink and white marble-looking steps releasing the scent of cherry blossoms as his feet touched them, and stopped before Dumbledore, executing a precise bow. "It is a great honor to meet you, Professor Dumbledore. Madame Maxime, Professor Karkaroff." He added the last two as an afterthought. "Introduction of the students is to be at the feast?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Which, since we are all here, is now."

~oOo~

The Hogwarts students were seated in the Great Hall, chattering excitedly, noting that each house table seemed a little longer than usual, as if inviting someone to join them; but they fell instantly silent when Dumbledore started to speak. "Tonight, we are granted a rare honor: to welcome into our midst students from three of the finest schools of witchcraft and wizardry. I know you will make them all welcome. And with that, please join me in welcoming the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and their headmistress, Madame Maxime."

The door of the Great Hall opened up lightly, as though a breeze had pushed it and a troop of slender young figures danced into the Hall. Their very movements seemed to generate a soft, lilting music as though their waving hands ran like a bow over invisible violins and the air brushing past them played as a flute. They paused about a third of the way down the aisle between the tables and gave a wave of acknowledgment to their right, then continued down until two thirds down the aisle, they gave another wave to their left. They danced to the front of the hall, bowed to the high table releasing a flock of conjured bluebirds then to the music of the birds' song pirouetted in a short but intricate ballet to the acknowledge the students of Hogwarts who broke out in applause, the boys especially. Dumbledore graciously kissed Madame Maxine's hand and led her to her seat at the high table. The Beauxbatons students glanced around the hall smiled, and went to the Ravenclaw table.

"And now," Dumbledore continued, "Please welcome our friends from the north, Durmstrang and their Highmaster Igor Karkaroff!"

The door again burst open, forcefully, decisively; this time revealing a group of teens solid and strong as the Beauxbatons students had been slender and graceful, in sharp, almost military uniforms. Each held a staff in his right hand with which he struck the ground when he moved, releasing sparks and a wave of raw magical energy, electrifying the onlookers. They moved with purpose, each more powerful than the last, until bringing up the rear was...

"Blimey!" Ron breathed. "It's  _him_! It's Viktor Krum!"

The Durmstrang students spun their staves in an aggressive pattern then dropped them and ran to the front of the hall like gymnasts on the mat demonstrating that their formidable size did not hinder their agility, culminating when one pulled out his wand and conjured a snake of flame that circled once about the group then transformed into a eagle which flew upwards and dissipated.

The Quidditch players all immediately began searching for something for Krum to autograph. Hermione rolled her eyes at their moronic fan-boy behavior. "For heaven's sake," she muttered, "he's only a Quidditch player."

Hogwarts students at each of the three remaining house scooted down invitingly. The visitors scanned the hall knowingly, then went to the Slytherin table.

"And finally," Dumbledore said, "I present the students of the Elite Ouran Academy and their Headmaster, Chairman Suoh."

The doors of the Great Hall opened a third time, slowly this time, almost seductively. A shower of rose petals emerged from a soft white light and wafted into the hall. Afterward the onlookers realized the petals must have been multiplying midair because they never varied in density, but the shower grew until it filled the hall. The rose petals vanished as soon as they touched anything but left behind their sweet fragrance leaving one the feeling of being in a pleasant garden. The Ouran students themselves entered on a cloud. Perhaps they were walking or perhaps they were riding the cloud, it was impossible to tell, but it gave you the most peculiar feeling that you were coming to them and not the other way around.

They reached the front of the hall and gave a very precise low bow to Dumbledore, then turned and gave an equally precise but not quite as low bow to the other teachers at the high table, then turned to the student body and gave a third, yet again less deep bow to the students. They straightened, surveilled the hall and smiled ever so slightly. These boys were stunningly, breathtakingly handsome, every one of them.

Ron was about to make a snide comment that it was anticlimactic compared to Durmstrang when every girl in the hall let out a little squeal. Hermione and Lavender practically shoved Ron and Harry off the bench trying to make a more obviously inviting space beside them. Harry looked up to the head table, hoping Professor McGonagall would signal her house to behave with a little more decorum, but no, the Japanese wizard had been seated next to her. He said something to her and - for the love of Merlin,  _McGonagall went pink!_ No, Harry thought. Until these pretty boys all turned out to be Lockharts, they were going to be stuck.

"You shouldn't be staring at those guys like that," Ron whispered to Hermione.

"You mean like all you boys have been staring at the Beauxbatons girls?"

"We have not!" Ron shot back. Harry looked around. Yes, they had. The hardcore Quidditch fans may have been watching Krum but every other guy in the hall was watching those girls either openly or out of the corner of his eye. Ron tore his eyes away to prove a point. Harry heard him say under his breath "Please go over there." Harry was inclined to agree, but no such luck. The tall blond boy led the Ouran students right to the Gryffindor table. He leaned over Alicia Spinnet and said in a melodious voice, "May we join you?"

"Please, it would be our pleasure."

He sat down on the bench next to her and picked up a spoon, draped it longways across his right palm then traced over the spoon with his left fingers. He whispered into his hands " _Effloresce_." The silver spoon bloomed into a silver rose. He handed it to her. "Thank you, fair princess."

Alicia blushed as she accepted it while Angelina, Katie, Lavender, Parvati, Hermione and even Ginny all let out a musical sigh. Down the table, Romilda and every other girl eyed them jealously. The rest of them boys sat down, one of the younger guys next to Hermione. "Hi, I'm Fujioka Haruhi. Except, wait, Europeans do that backwards, given name first, family name second. I guess that makes me Haruhi Fujioka."

Hermione found herself disarmed by the artless manner of this Haruhi. "I'm Hermione Granger, and these are my friends Harry and Ron." Harry sent a silent thank you to Hermione for not using last names. Maybe he could get through dinner without being gawked at for a change. She then introduced the others around them as the food appeared on the table.

"Oh wow," Haruhi said, impressed by the variety of food. Everything from traditional English black pudding to French bouillabaisse to sauerbraten to sushi and sashimi. "This is amazing."

Harry looked around the hall. The Beauxbatons students were making a show of shivering in the English climate and being cold and were being a little snooty and only eating the French food. The Durmstrang students were being standoffish no matter how much Malfoy was smarming up to Krum. These Ouran guys were flirting outrageously with the girls but at least they were friendly. Maybe Gryffindor had got the best of the foreigners. He nodded towards the rose. "He did that without a wand."

"Oh, yeah he's really good at that. Actually, pretty much anything to do with flirting." As if it needed to be said. Every girl at the table had her head cocked over just a little to one side with an insipid smile her face.

"I've never seen that transfiguration before." Harry said, stupidly irritated at the girls' behavior.

"Probably not," Haruhi said. "Tamaki-senpai invented it."

"He  _invented_  it?" Hermione said.

So much for them being Lockhart level idiots.

"It's not a hard one," Haruhi said. "You're only changing shape, not substance. To turn it into a real rose, even he'd probably need a wand." Haruhi pulled out a wand and ran it along another spoon. " _Effloresce."_ Hermione watched as the visitor held the spoon-turned-rose close to the Gryffindor scarlet tablecloth where it reflected red and slowly twirled it. "Kyuusyuu..." It kept the reflected color and after two or three rotations, the bloom was a brilliant scarlet hue on a silver stem. Haruhi started to hand it to Hermione then pulled back. "Wait, your colors are red and gold, right?"

Haruhi looked around for something gold then flicked the wand upward. "Accio candle." One drifted down and hovered close. Haruhi ran the stem through the flame. "Sazukeriro." Hermione watched as it absorbed the pale gold color with his bits of orange and red near the edges.

The black-haired boy with glasses looked down his nose at her. "The tip of your stem is blue."

"Sorry. Absorbing color from living flame is not the easiest thing to do."

"If you can't do it correctly, kindly don't do it in public."

Hermione started to defend Haruhi but then realized that McGonagall had said much the same thing to Neville only a few days before.

Haruhi made an exasperated noise and said sarcastically, "I apologize if my poor sorcery made your spell look imperfect senpai."

"You should," he said. While there was extreme arrogance in the comment, there was no malice, so the Gryffindors took it to be teasing. Which it was. Mostly.

Pointing at Kyoya, Harry said "So he invented that spell?"

"Yeah, his first project in his first year Magical Research Class was to extract color from things that have no pigment: the sky, the ocean, fire, even some butterfly wings."

" _His first year?_ "

"Our school is set up differently from yours. An elementary school, three years of junior high and three years of high school. Assuming we all finish up at the same time, that makes our first years equivalent to your fifth years. But only Class A takes that subject first year and if we're to be honest, most of Class A couldn't have done it. There's a reason he's the top student in his year."

"So you think he'll be your Champion?"

Haruhi shrugged. "Depends what the judges are looking for. Honey-senpai is definitely the most powerful wizard and the most skilled at combat magic."

"The tall one with black hair?" Lavender eyed him admiringly.

"No, the short blond. The tall one is Mori-senpai, his cousin who is also very skilled at combat magic and pretty good at nature magic, especially anything to do with animals. He's also amazingly centered. Nothing rattles him.

"Kyoya-senpai is the smartest and most focused. He can think his way out of anything, and Tamaki-senpai is the most creative."

"And the rest of you?"

"The rest of us are too young to enter. But see, we are all in a club together. And if half the club is gone, there'd be no reason to hold meetings. Which meant the twins were going to get bored. And the concept of what the Hitachiin twins would do if they were bored for a full year was too terrifying for any of the teachers to contemplate. So they got permission to come. And they said they wouldn't go if I didn't go, so here I am...oh my god, this food is good. Whose is this?"

"Uh, that's a Beef Wellington. That one's ours."

"I'm transferring to Hogwarts."

Harry snorted. Even though it wasn't as cool as sitting next to Krum would have been, he kinda liked this kid. He glanced at the Ravenclaw table still a little envious. Despite that as a fourth year he wouldn't have stood a chance with those sixth and seventh year Beauxbatons girls, it would have been nice to sit next to them. As if to emphasize the point, one of the Beauxbatons girls got up and shook out her hair which fell in a silvery blonde cascade to her waist. Harry had an overwhelming desire to reach out and touch it and he might have if he hadn't seen Ron moving to do the same. He slapped Ron's hand down to cover his own movement.

"Oh, thanks mate." Ron blinked. "Harry, she's a  _veela_!"

"Of course she isn't!" said Hermione tartly "I don't see anyone else gaping at her like an idiot!"

"I'm telling you, that's not a normal girl!" said Ron. He looked at the newcomer. "You see it, right?"

Haruhi looked over. "Um, she does have really pretty hair." The tone was only moderately intrigued. Hermione was relieved that there was at least one male in the room who wasn't swept off his feet.

The girl in question looked around the room and then her large blue eyes settled on the table next to Ron and Harry. She didn't so much walk as glide across the room towards them. Ron let out a gurgling noise.

"Excuse me, are you wanting ze bouillabaisse?" she asked.

Ron gaped like a fish, but Harry covered for him. "Please have it, if you like. It was excellent." He handed her the tureen and she gave him a smile that made him want to lay at her feet. She turned back towards the Ravenclaw table but stopped midway, made a noise not unlike the one Ron had made, dropped the dish, shattering it and dousing herself, Harry and Ron in soup. "You are Kyoya Ootori?" she said in a trembling voice.

"I am," the boy with glasses replied.

She let out a little noise.

"When did  _you_  become the popular one?" Hikaru said.

She looked up and saw who made the comment. Her eyes grew wide and wider as she scanned the surrounding boys then began fanning herself with her hand. "Renata! Lysette! Kyoya Ootori est ici! Le Club à Hôtes d'Ouran est ici!"

Not just two girls but four turned so fast they almost knocked the Ravenclaw boys off their bench in their rush over to the Gryffindor table. "Vous êtes Tamaki!" One of the girls fluttered. "I am Renata, my cousin ees Renge Houshakuji. She transfer from Beauxbatons to Ouran. She tell us all about you and send us pictures and she say zat eef you hold a tea, we must come!"

"Vill you hold a tea?" The girl next to her pleaded.

"If it will please my fair princess," Tamaki gazed into her eyes. She melted on the spot.

"Uh..." Harry gave Haruhi a sideways look trying to figure out how to phrase the question.

"You remember how I said we were in a club? It involves a lot of squealing girls. Ok, my turn," Haruhi tried to ignore the girls and change the subject. "I can't help but notice there are four tables each with a different color tablecloth and everybody at the table is wearing ties that match their tablecloth. Not a decorator choice I gather?"

"No," Hermione answered. "Hogwarts was founded by four witches and wizards, each of whom valued different traits in their students. We still honor their preferences; your first night here, they place a magic hat on your head and it reads your mind and places you in the house that best matches your personality and traits."

Haruhi appeared to consider. "It's not the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"How do you do it?" Hermione asked.

Haruhi paused. She had a feeling these Hogwarts students might not like what she was going to say.

Kyoya watched her, amused. "Go ahead, Haruhi." She tried to give him a warning look, but either he didn't catch it or he didn't care. He answered the question for her. "You must understand Ouran was founded to train the future leaders of the magical world, so we divide each year into classes: A, B, C and D and which class you are in is determined by lineage, social standing, and ability. Rank within the class is purely based on ability and grades. So for example Honey-senpai over there is the top student in Class 3A and the heir to one of the most ancient and powerful wizarding families in Japan while Haruhi here, even though only a commoner, was placed in Class 1A due to intelligence and talent."

"Commoner?" Hermione said, unable to believe her ears.

"Yes," Tamaki enthused, joining in the conversation, "every year Ouran offers a scholarship to the most brilliant student we can find who would not otherwise qualify to attend and offers them a place in Class A. And if the can stay on top, they can stay at Ouran!"

The Beauxbatons students all let out a murmur of approval at the magnanimity of the Japanese school. The Gryffindors looked less certain. "So if the scholarship student is the most brilliant in their year, where is the scholarship student from your year?" Hermione asked pointedly of Kyoya.

"He finished his first semester fourth behind myself, Tamaki and Ayame and so was sent back to Mahoutokoro."

"But you mustn't pity him," Tamaki said. "It's a very fine school in its own way. I think it's marvelous that commoners can get a decent education. Long live the poor!"

The Beauxbatons students began clapping. The Gryffindors looked at Haruhi, whose eyebrow was twitching. So much for the good impression. Under his breath Ron muttered "you weren't kidding about them being Slytherins on hemorrhoids."

Harry didn't bother to correct him.


	2. The Tournament Begins

Honey let out a squawk as the half eaten cake before him vanished and all the golden dinner plates became perfectly clean. Dumbledore stood up again. The Beauxbatons girls returned to the Ravenclaw table. An expectant tension now filled the hall, different from what had been at the Gryffindor table only seconds before. Some of the girls seem to think Tamaki was kidding, others weren't so sure. But all of that was forgotten as Dumbledore begin to speak. Several seats down from them, Fred and George were leaning forward, straining with great concentration to catch every word, so they could take every advantage.

"The moment has come," announced Dumbledore. "The Triwizard Tournament is about to start. But first I should inform you of a few procedures that will be followed. One champion will be chosen from each school and this person will face three tasks spaced throughout the school year to give the champions time to recover from any injuries that may be sustained during the previous challenges - and make no mistake, these are dangerous challenges. They will test to the full the champions' talents, intellect, cunning, skills, strength, fortitude and courage. The competitors will be marked on how well they perform each of the tournament tasks. The judging staff will consist of Mr. Bartemius Crouch, Head of the Department of International Cooperation, Mr. Ludivine Bagman, Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports, and one representative from each of the participating schools. The champion with the highest total after all three tasks will win the Triwizard Cup, the thousand galleons prize money and a place in magical history. Mr. Filch, if you please..."

The grey, scraggly caretaker shuffled forward carrying a very old jewel encrusted chest and placed it on a pillar beside Dumbledore. The headmaster took out his wand and tapped the top three times. The lid swung open revealing a large cup filled to the brim with dancing blue-white flames. "Behold the Goblet of Fire that will choose the champions from each school. Any student wishing to enter must write his or her name and school clearly upon a slip of parchment and drop it into the flames. However, in the interest of safety, no one under the age of 17 will be permitted to enter. To guarantee this, I will draw an Age Line around the Goblet of Fire. Be aware that placing your name into the goblet constitutes a binding magical contract so the tournament is not to be entered into lightly. The champions are not permitted to ask for or accept help of any kind from the teachers to complete the tasks in the tournament. So think carefully."

"He sounded like a demon when he said that," Haruhi said quietly.

.

Karkaroff started to round up the Durmstrang students to lead them back to the ship. The Beauxbatons girls and a fair number of the Ravenclaw girls with whom they had been dining swarmed around the Ouran boys, giving Harry and Ron the chance to scoot away from elitist foreigners. Neville, figuring he'd never get this close to that many good looking girls again, stayed where he was. Haruhi slipped away to admire the architecture in the Great Hall. The girls' and boys' uniforms at this school didn't look terribly different. Haruhi wondered if any of them would figure out that she was a girl. She was honor bound not to tell them, but if they figured it out on their own, that wasn't her problem.

Hermione walked up to her. "Did those guys mean what they said? About commoners, I mean?"

Haruhi let her breath out slowly. "I don't know if you'll understand this, but have you ever seen how people raised in the magical world treat non-magical people? What do you call them in English, No-Mags? Muggles?"

"Muggles," Hermione said.

"A lot of people in the wizarding world don't know what to do with muggles. So they often say very stupid things, even insulting things. It's kind of like that. These guys have been raised not just in the magical world but in a very rarefied corner of it. When they say they think it's a good thing that commoners can go to a fine school like Mahoutokoro, they mean it, and their families donate a lot of money and resources to making sure it is one of the great wizarding schools in the world."

"But not as good as Ouran," Hermione said.

"There's no place as good as Ouran," Haruhi said. "Not even Ouran."

"If you think it's overrated, then why go?" Hermione asked.

"Because when you get to the upper grades, they teach things no one else does."

"Like what?" Hermine he couldn't help but recall Malfoy lauding Durmstrang, where instead of teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, they actually taught the Dark Arts. Was Ouran another school like that?

"Magical Research, Wizarding Law, Magical and Muggle Governments, how to run a company, finance. I'm mostly there for the law. My mom was a lawyer. I mean, don't get me wrong. No one thinks this tournament is going to be a cakewalk. We are all well aware that Hogwarts trained two of the three most powerful wizards of the last century, and that Durmstrang trained the third."

"Do you learn about the dark arts at your school?"

The Japanese kid considered. "The Combat Magic class has a unit on Curses and Counter-Curses. But magic is a tool. Whether it's used for good or evil depends on the wizard not on the spell."

"Combat magic?"

"It's a dangerous world Miss Granger. Better to have a skill you never use than one you need and do not have."

Before the conversation could go farther, Karkaroff's voice cut through the hall. "Polikov! Can't you even eat dinner without humiliating all of us in in front of the other schools? You have food dribbled down your front, disgusting boy! Come, before you embarrass us further."

And awkward silence filled the hall. At length, Tamaki looked sideways. "He sounds like my grandmother."

"He sounds like  _my_  grandmother," Neville said.

Their eyes met. "Bet mine is worse," Neville said.

"You'd lose that bet," Tamaki replied.

Karkaroff led his troop to the door, arriving at the same time Harry and Ron did. The Gryffindor boys stepped back to let them past. The Durmstrang headmaster gave him a dismissive glance then did a double take. A grizzled old man came up behind the boy. "Yeah, that's Harry Potter."

" _Harry Potter?_ " Haruhi said. "I had dinner with  _Harry Potter_?"

~oOo~

Ron dropped into his bed with a flump. "Can you believe how snobby those Ouran guys are?"

"I dunno, they seemed ok to me," Neville said. "That blond guy's got the only grandmother in the world that's even close to being as bad as mine is. It just depends on whether you think it's worse to be ignored or get howlers all the time."

"But dude," Seamus threw in, "You totally smoked him when it came to the way your grandmothers dress."

"Yeah I did," Neville said pleased by this weird victory.

~oOo~

Even though it was Saturday, everybody was up early the next morning, obviously or surreptitiously watching the Goblet. Hikaru and Kaoru watched as a Hogwarts boy went up, egged on by his friends and put his name in. A Hogwarts girl sauntered across the line casually as if just passing by and tossed her name in hoping no one would notice. The Durmstrang students marched up and with sharp, deliberate movements put their names in one by one then went off to their breakfasts. The Beauxbatons students gracefully glided up and offered their names as though doing the Goblet a favor, but the girls' nervous titters afterwards undermined much of the confidence they projected. A pair of Hogwarts boys - red headed twins - approached the age line with identical smirks.

"You're not old enough," said a smaller red headed boy.

"Watch and learn little brother," said one, pulling out a crystal vial.

"Is that an aging potion?" the younger boy gasped.

"Think we should tell them a girl tried that an hour ago?" Kaoru said to his brother.

"What? And spoil the fun?" said Hikaru. They leaned back to watch.

"We only need a couple weeks. What do you think, two or three drops?" said the first twin.

"Should do," said the other.

They swallowed the drops, smiled at each other and stepped across the age line. For a moment, it looked like it had worked, but then the line flared bright blue and threw them across the room. Each of them sprouted a bread that grew three feet and turned white.

Hermione, the girl Haruhi had dined with last night, looked up from her book, bored. "Don't you think Dumbledore would have thought of artificial aging?" She picked up her pumpkin juice and walked out of the hall.

The Hitachiins grinned at each other. "You really think this will work?" Kaoru asked.

"Nah," Hikaru answered. "It'll probably combust at the age line, but watching Haruhi squawk will make it worth it."

They imagined the amusing scene in their minds for a second.

"But what if it does work?" Kaoru said. "This competition is dangerous and she has nothing to gain from it."

"Be serious. Honey-senpai, Mori-senpai, Kyoya-senpai, Tamaki-senpai. The top two students from both Class 2 and Class 3. The cleverest, most skilled students in the school. There's no way the Goblet would pick Haruhi. Someone would have to place a seriously powerful  _Confundus_  charm on it, one big enough to screw up all the choices."

.

The crowd started to thin out as breakfast time ended so the hall was thinning out by the time their favorite toy arrived.

"Hey Haruhi, come here. You have the sign this."

"Sign what?"

"It's an honor pledge not to cheat while we're here. Since we'll be taking classes at their school and all."

"That's kind of offensive," Haruhi said as she sat down.

"They're making all the visiting students sign one," Hikaru said, handing her a quill. She signed the parchment and slid it back.

"You have such pretty handwriting," Kaoru said.

"And you're going to make such a good champion," Hikaru said waving his wand over the parchment. The top half with the writing separated neatly, leaving a small square with "Haruhi Fujioka, Ouran Academy" written on it. He waved his wand again and the paper began to fold itself up.

"What?" she shrieked. It was everything they imagined.

"You can't get over the age line," she said frantically. "Several students have tried. Nothing under the age of seventeen can get across."

"That's why we used eighteen year old parchment," Hikaru said.

"And twenty year old ink," Kaoru said.

The parchment square meanwhile had folded itself up into an origami crane and begun flapping its wings. She lunged for it and missed as the startled bird took flight. The twins were holding their sides with laughter as she ran around the room, jumping on tables and benches trying to catch the thing before it soared right past her, over the age line and into the fire. An enormous flare went up and settled back down.

"You jerks!"

The twins at least had the decency to look astonished.

"We didn't think it would work."

"Well it did!"

"Don't worry Haru. There's no way it'll pick you over the others," Hikaru said.

~oOo~

Tamaki had declared at breakfast that the castle was magnificent but he was sure he would get lost which immediately resulted in six girls offering him a complete tour. "Three of those girls are Beauxbatons, they don't even go here," Haruhi muttered.

"They are probably hoping to ditch the others and get lost with Tamaki." Kyoya eyed her with some amusement. "You're being uncharacteristically sour. Should I tell our king that you are jealous?"

"No!"

By the time lunch rolled around, their entourage of girls had more than doubled, there was barely room at the table for Harry and Ron. It wasn't just the Gryffindor girls, it was the Beauxbatons girls and the Ravenclaw girls and… Ron nudged Harry. "Isn't that Malfoy's girlfriend?"

Sure enough, Pansy Parkinson was sitting next to one of the Ouran twins. Instead of her customary sneer, she had a smile that almost made her look attractive.

"D'you reckon Malfoy's noticed?" Ron said. They looked around the hall.

"Oh yeah," Harry answered. There at the Slythern table sat Draco Malfoy, glaring at the Gryffindor table, lips compressed, the purple slowly building up on his face.

He got up and stalked over. "You're at the wrong table, Parkinson. The Gryffindors don't want you here. The better table is over there."

Tamaki looked up with those violet-blue eyes of his. (Where the hell did a Japanese kid get blue eyes from, anyway?) "Is there a problem, young man? Surely a lady as lovely as Miss Parkinson is welcome anywhere...?" He looked over at his Gryffindor hosts.

"Oh... absolutely, yeah," said Ron just to annoy Malfoy.

"Professor McGonagall told us that we should get to know all the visiting students. Didn't Professor Snape tell you the same?" Harry said with a straight face.

"And it would be rude to try to hog your guests all to yourself," Ron glanced meaningfully over at the Slytherin table and the Durmstrang students and Krum.

Malfoy didn't miss the meaning, but he still felt he had the prize and wasn't about to give it up. He turned a sneering smile to Ron and Harry and said "Of course. I just wanted to be sure that Miss Parkinson was being well treated over here. The Gryffindors have such poor manners."

Tamaki looked from Katie to Alicia in surprise. "I have found them to be utterly charming."

When Pansy made no move to leave the table, Draco gave a curt nod. "As I said, just checking."

He started to walk off when the short blond Japanese student grabbed his arm and said in a quiet voice, " You might want to be cautious where you give insult little boy. Tama-chan is slow to take offense, but that is not the case with everyone."

" 'Little boy,' " said Ron to Harry savoring the look of Draco's wounded pride. "I just forgave them everything last night."

Malfoy slunk back to his seat and glared back at the Japanese students. "Who do those Ouran guys think they are anyway?" Draco said.

"You do not know?" Krum answered him. "They are the sons of the richest, most powerful families in Japan. Ouran is one of the most famous schools in Asia. The Ouran Quidditch captain Takashi Kuze is also first alternate chaser for Japanese national Quidditch team. I play against him last year after one of their chasers vas knocked out by a bludger. We talked after. So I owl him when I hear Ouran coming. He say he not chosen but tell me about the ones who were. He say the one with glasses is quick and clever; a noble opponent and a complete jerk. He thinks the tall blonde is probably an empath because he always seems to know what everybody is feeling. The very tall black haired one can communicate with animals and might be a seer because he always seems to know what's going to happen even though he does nothing to stop it. The short blond one may be the most dangerous combat wizard living, but nobody knows for certain because he only spars with his family. In competitions he does only enough to beat his opponents and nothing more."

~oOo~

Dinner that night was a tense affair, with everyone excited or nervous or, in the case of one Japanese student, still furious. The twins sauntered in, took one look at Haruhi and moved to sit on the other side of Kyoya and Mori just to be safe. Which put them in proximity to another pair of red-headed twins.

"You looked better with the beards," Hikaru said.

"At least we had beards," Fred answered back. "Did you guys even try?"

The Hitachiins looked at each other guiltily. "Um..."

"You guys are so dead," Haruhi muttered down the table.

"Haruhi," Kyoya said in that patronizing voice of his, "it's rude to speak in Japanese when our hosts do not."

"But they ... I ... if you knew ..." Kyoya merely raised an eyebrow. Her shoulders slumped. "Yes Kyoya-senpai."

"What's this 'senpai?' " the Weasley twins wanted to know.

"It's a term of respect that younger students use to address their older, wiser and more experienced fellows."

The Weasley's looked at each other. "Excellent! Hey Ron! From now on out you have to call us Fred-senpai and George-senpai."

"No way," said Ron.

"You gotta," said Fred. "It's part of our cultural exchange with the Japanese students."

"You gonna make Harry do it?"

" 'course not," George said. "Harry's cool."

Whatever rejoinder Ron had been about to come up with was silenced when Dumbledore rose. "The time has come. The Goblet of Fire will make its selections momentarily. I will remind you all that entering your name into the Goblet constituted a binding magic contract and dire things will befall anyone who tries to get out of it. I hope you all thought about it most carefully." The Goblet picked that moment to flare dramatically, as if emphasizing Dumbledore's words. It settled back down and Dumbledore continued. "Once selection has been made, each champion will go to the side chamber there where he or she will receive further instructions." He gestured to a door just off the staff table.

Dumbledore stepped to one side leaving the Goblet the center of attention. He waited patiently while the cup took its sweet time. Then the blue flames turned scarlet, a stream of sparks flew outward pushing a small piece of paper with it. Dumbledore caught it mid air and read aloud. "The champion for Durmstrang will be Viktor Krum."

Krum pumped his fist in victory and rose as several of his friends clouted his shoulder in congratulations. He walked forward, past the teachers and visiting judges and went through the door into the room beyond.

After another dramatic pause, the blue flames again turned red and a second scrap of parchment flew out and into Dumbledore's waiting my fingers. "The champion for Beauxbatons will be Fleur Delacour."

The girl with the shimmering blond hair rose gracefully from her seat, graciously bowed and moved to the small room.

Again the Goblet paused as if considering before turning red once more. "The champion for Hogwarts will be Cedric Diggory!"

The Hufflepuff table erupted in cheers, so loud only Harry and Ron heard Fred say "You don't think hosting a foreign school disqualified us, do you?"

"What do you care," said Ron. "Your names never even made it in."

The Japanese students alone were left filled with tension until the Goblet turned red one more time. "The champion for Ouran will be..." Dumbledore said as the paper fluttered downwards. He opened the paper and froze "Harry Potter."

The Japanese students turned to Harry. Their headmaster rose and angrily demanded "what insult is this? He is not a student of our school. Nor even of age to complete! Did you invite us here to insult us?"

Even Karkaroff and Maxime were appalled at the treachery.

"Please, please," said Dumbledore. "If we adjourn to the other room, we can attempt to sort through this." As he gestured to the door the Goblet again turned red. One more piece of parchment emerged and when it settled into Dumbledore's hand, the flame in the Goblet went out.

"Haruhi Fujioka, Ouran Academy."


	3. Four Champions and a Spare

~oOo~

Harry was still rooted to his chair wishing himself anywhere but here when a childlike voice interrupted his utter lack of thoughts. "Haru-chan?"

"I didn't... I mean I wouldn't... I mean I..."

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Fujioka, will you join us?" Dumbledore gestured to the door. Not knowing what else to do, they rose and moved to the indicated antichamber, followed by the entire judging panel, Professor McGonagal (as the head of Harry's house), Professor Moody (because he suspected the dark arts to be involved) and Professor Snape because - well actually Harry couldn't think of a single valid reason for Snape to be in there except to cause Harry more trouble. As soon as the door closed behind them, Dumbledore rounded on Harry. "Did you put your name in the Goblet?"

"No sir," Harry answered.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, sir."

He turned to Haruhi. "Did you put your name in?"

"No sir," Haruhi echoed Harry's answer.

Chairman Suoh gave a half-amused smile. "Do you know how your name got into the Goblet?"

Haruhi paused. "Yes sir, I do."

Every adult in the room turned to focus on Haruhi. "Care to enlighten us Mr. Fujioka?" Snape said in an acid voice.

"Will it negate the contract and allow Ouran to choose a more suitable champion?"

Dumbledore considered. "No. The contract is binding however it came to be."

"Then I see no point in getting someone else in trouble."

Headmaster Suoh smiled. Her answer did not displease him. "And you, Potter-san? Do you know how your name came to be in that Goblet?"

"No sir, I do not."

"He's obviously lying, headmaster," Snape said. "At last the Japanese student admits to knowing."

Harry bit back his angry retort knowing it would only make things worse.

Madame Maxime looked down her nose. "Perhaps ven ze spell on ze Goblet vas altered to include a fourth school, eet vas poorly done and ze Goblet vas convinced zer ver five?" She sniffed at the incompetence of British sorcery. Karkaroff grunted his agreement.

"What school does it believe Mr. Potter belongs to?" McGonagall asked.

"No school was listed," Dumbledore passed her the parchment with Harry's name on it.

"No school at all?" She said appalled as she looked over the paper.

Mad-eye leaned over her shoulder. "Then this is not a simple error; this was a powerful confundus charm cast by a skilled wizard. And the other choices may have been corrupted incidentally." He gave a nasty appraising look at the other champions.

"Corrupted or not, if the contract is binding, we move forward," Karkaroff said. He, at least, was sure the Goblet had chosen the correct student from his school.

"Well said!" Ludivine Bagman slapped Karkaroff on the back. Karkaroff gave him an evil look and Ludo immediately backed off.

"Can ve relight ze Goblet to allow ze other schools to haf a second champion too? Zat would be fair."

"I'd be all for that!" Haruhi piped up. Given the grumpy looks of the adults all around her, she probably shouldn't have said anything.

"Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Once the Goblet has gone out it will not relight until the next tournament begins."

~oOo~

The students were dismissed so the adults could go on arguing. Fleur and Krum returned to the carriage and ship. Haruhi and the Hogwarts champions paused in the corridor. Cedric nodded to Harry. "So how did you beat the age line?"

"I didn't," said Harry. "I wasn't lying about that."

Cedric obviously didn't believe him. He gave Harry a disappointed look and left.

"Well that sucks," said Haruhi. "If your own senpai doesn't believe you, no one will."

"You believe me?" said Harry, surprised.

"Why would you lie? Everybody thinks that makes you the cleverest person in the school. If you really were, you'd be wallowing in it."

Harry blinked. "I guess so. How did your name get in there?" He didn't want to accuse the only person in the school who believed him of lying.

Haruhi told him how, but not who.

"That actually is really clever."

The Japanese kid gave sideways nod. "I just wish it had been clever for somebody else's benefit."

.

Back in the floating pink palace, Haruhi found her six club mates waiting for her.

"Well?" Kyoya said.

"Well what? I didn't put my name in that Goblet."

"I don't see any need to assign blame at this point," Hikaru said.

"Yeah, done is done," Kaoru added. "We need to figure out how best to move forward."

Haruhi tried very hard not to growl.

"Indeed," Kyoya said. "Unfortunately, the entire international reputation of Ouran Academy is now hanging on your performance. I'm afraid if you lose this, we will be forced to double your debt."

"Fine," Haruhi snapped. "But if I win, I'm using the money to pay off the debt."

"Hm." Kyoya pushed his glasses up and immediately began calculating ways to run up the amount so her winnings wouldn't be enough.

"Our biggest problem right now is making sure that Haru-chan won't get hurt," Honey pointed out. "People have died in this tournament in the past. Starting tomorrow, we train her every day."

"Hn," Mori concurred. "Before breakfast you are to run around the castle five times."

"How is running going to help me… Well OK yeah that one would make sense," Haruhi reluctantly agreed.

~oOo~

Harry returned to the Gryffindor Common Room to a party, complete with snacks, banners and butter beers. A loud cheer went up when Harry entered. Streamers popped out of nowhere and draped all over Harry.

"Gryffindor has it's own champion!" Fred shouted. More cheers went up. Lee draped a Gryffindor banner over Harry's shoulders like a cloak. "C'mon Harry! Tell us how you did it. How'd you beat the age line?"

The question was already getting old and the fact that it was going to be asked fifty more times didn't help. "I didn't. Somebody else put my name in."

"Who?"

"I don't..." Harry started but was interrupted by Neville of all people. "Forget it guys. Harry would never rat out a friend, would you?"

_I absolutely would, if it got me out of this,_  Harry thought.  _Well, probably. Maybe. On the other hand, offering hadn't got that Japanese kid out of it. Maybe not._  "Never." Neville, Dean and Seamus dragged him off into a corner, enjoying their new elite status as Harry's roommates. Ron was nowhere to be seen.

.

The next morning, Ron rose early to avoid Harry. He plopped down next to Hermione. "How's Harry doing this morning?" Hermione asked, which was of course exactly the wrong thing to say.

"Don't know, don't care."

"He's your friend, Ron!"

"Could've fooled me. Didn't tell me he was going to enter, didn't tell me he knew how to beat the age line."

"He didn't! You'd have to be an idiot not to realize someone else put his name in."

"Well that person could've put my name in too!"

"They weren't doing Harry a favor," Hermione said exasperated. "Honestly, Ron, what's gotten into you?" She grabbed half a dozen pieces of toast, wrapped them in a napkin to take to Harry, and stalked off.

_What's gotten into me?_ Ron thought sullenly.  _How about Harry is yet again the cleverest, most daring student in the school: The Hero of Gryffindor and I'm an afterthought. Harry and Ron. Just once, I'd like it to be Ron and Harry._ But the thought sounded petty, so he didn't put it into words. Not that there was anyone nearby to listen.

~oOo~

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short. The next one may be kind of short too, but I promise I have some longer ones looming on the horizon.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments. Meshing the whimsical style of OHS and the Adventure style of HP has proven challenging. I appreciate your giving it a chance. 


	4. Training Day

~oOo~

Haruhi's breath formed little white clouds in front of her. She paused her running and bent over, hands on her knees, winded. "This castle is bigger than it looks. Can I call it quits at three laps? I'll work up to five, I promise."

Mori regarded her thoughtfully. "What did you see?"

"What?"

"When you were running? What did you see?"

"A lot of grass."

"Run it again and pay attention," Mori said.

"The competition will be held on these grounds, Haru-chan. You never know when a terrain feature may come in useful," Honey pointed out.

"So what have you noticed Sensei Smarty-pants?"

Mori shrugged. "Our Ouran palace floats on a cloud. For security, the staircase to the cloud rolls up at night when we are all inside. That means the cloud is not anchored and drifts slightly in the breeze. We will never be in exactly the same place on any two days. We are currently west by southwest of the castle, in between the school and the forest. The student footpaths parallel the forest but do not go in; whatever's in that forest, the students avoid. There is a small cottage on the edge of the forest. It is occupied. There were lights in the window last night and smoke from the chimney this morning. Based on the shadows last night, something large and hairy lives within. Possibly a bear.

"To the south of the castle is a lake," he continued. "A large creature lives within the water. I do not know what it is, but I will find out before sunset today. The cliff face that supports the castle above the lake is unstable. It would have collapsed on its own centuries ago but the stones have been heavily infused with magic. A powerful and well-aimed dispell could bring the whole thing down. Across the lake is a village. Until we know whether they are aware of the magical nature of this school, we should be careful of interaction. On the east side are the greenhouses. If we're placed in a herbology class, we need to inventory the contents in case they are useful. To the north is the Quidditch Pitch."

Haruhi wasn't sure what surprised her more, that Mori already knew all this or that he spoke more than three sentences in a row. "When did you find all this out?"

"I ran it myself before you got up to make sure it was safe for you."

"Oh." She didn't know what to say, but she felt peculiarly like she had when he carried her through danger at the jungle pool.

"I checked the protective wards," Honey said. "There's a set around the school and another around the grounds, but they all face outwards. Once something evil or dangerous makes it inside, they can't help you." He didn't appear happy about it.

"They like to say this school is a thousand years old," Tamaki added, "but much of the architecture is Norman-French, gothic or later, which means the original spells have been extended, altered or added to. The building is deeply magical and possibly alive, but it is not as strong as they think it is."

"I've started looking into who might have tampered with the Goblet." Kyoya said. "It will be easier to counter threats if we know their point of origin."

"Are you guys trying to protect me?" Haruhi said.

"No," Hikaru said. "What gave you that idea?"

~oOo~

As soon as breakfast was done, the guys dragged Haruhi out onto the grassy lawn by the lake. So much for a day off before they had to start classes at Hogwarts.

"All right," she said, "what are we going to work on, defensive spells or offensive?"

"Giant squid," said Mori.

"What?" Haruhi looked confused.

"The creature in the lake. It's a giant squid," said Mori. "I said I would figure it out before sunset."

"Neither," Honey said, bringing them back on topic. "We're going back to the very basics."

"You mean like simple wand movements?"

"Even more basic than that. We're going back to your stance."

"What's wrong with the way I stand?"

"Nothing's wrong!" Tamaki gushed. "It's perfect and cute and perfectly cute!" He ran forward to hug her.

"Too weak," said Mori. He flicked his wand emphasizing his point and knocked her backwards, out of Tamaki's grasp, sending Tamaki sprawling.

"I'd like to see any of you stand up through that," Haruhi said indignantly, wiping grass from her shirt.

Mori flicked his wand at Honey and though Honey's hair blew back as though in a violent wind, the little blond didn't flinch at all.

"Most wizards use magic from the ether because it is powerful, readily accessible and can be focused with great accuracy using a wand, but that is not the only source of magic," said Honey, totally ignoring what Mori had just done. "Before you had a wand, did you ever make things happen - make things appear or disappear or fly through the air?"

"Um, yeah."

"But it doesn't happen now."

"No."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Because I have more control?"

"Without a wand, make that rock come to you."

" _Accio_  rock," she said, feeling really stupid. Nothing happened.

"It is not better control, you have forgotten how to do it," Honey said. "Don't feel bad, most wizards do, which is why they are helpless if you disarm them. But magic is everywhere: in the water..." he waived his hand over the lake and a spray rose, "...in the air..." he swept his hand overhead and the water formed an arch over him "...in the sunlight..." the arch became a rainbow "...in the earth..." a fine swirl of dust rose into the rainbow as he began to roll his hands over one another "...and in living things." The dusty mist coalesced into an iridescent jellyfish. He gently lowered his hand and the jellyfish settled into the water and swam away. "We will begin by studying earth magic. It is strong, unyielding, omnipresent and hard to shift, but ironically it is the magic that most young wizards tap into because they are in constant contact with it, running barefoot on the grass, playing in the dirt. It is why some children hate baths; they coat themselves in magic and the adults want to wash it away."

"Other kids just like dirt," Hikaru threw in.

"But trees know how to tap into it. Every wonder why wands are made of wood? If the wand is powered by dragon heartstring or unicorn hair, why not just make the wand out of dragon bone or unicorn horn?" Kyoya asked.

"It would be terrible to kill a unicorn just to make a wand!" Haruhi was horrified at the thought.

"If there was power to be gained, there are people who would do it," Mori said.

"The core focuses the magic from the ether but the earth magic in the wood stabilizes it," Honey said.

"Which is why wandmakers stay in business," Tamaki said. "Removed from life, the wood or the core eventually fade. To last more than a lifetime, the wand would have to draw from something that goes on indefinitely."

"Did you guys learn all this in magical research? Because our class hasn't gotten that far yet." Haruhi felt a little lost.

"Takashi and I learned this from the time we first used magic as children. A successful combat wizard must never be disarmed."

"Oh."

"Now take off your shoes and feel the grass, feel the soil beneath it then reach into the earth then call the rock to you."

Haruhi closed her eyes as Honey told her to and dug her toes into the dirt. She could almost feel the subtle variations in the ground, veins of clay and sand, roots twining through, pebbles and larger stones embedded, disrupting the slow currents of the earth. Why had she never noticed these things before? She could feel the indentation in the ground where the rock pressed in. The rock started to wobble then rolled a bit then slowly floated up and moved towards her. Hikaru pulled out his wand and the stone transfigured into a cupcake adorned with fresh strawberries. Honey yelped and it immediately zoomed back to him.

"No fair guys!"

"The whole test was unfair, Haruhi," Kyoya said. "Earth magic is best used to protect and stabilize. The earth doesn't want to move."

"Then why did you...?"

"Because life isn't fair," Mori said.

"If it was, you wouldn't be the Ouran champion," Kyoya added.

"Hey, this isn't my fault!"

"Of course not!" Tamaki rushed over to hug her in support.

"It's a little late to be assigning blame now," the twins added.

~oOo~

Across the lawn, Hermione watched open mouthed then nudged her companion. "Harry, did you see that? They're using magic without a wand."

"That blond guy did it the first night, remember? He turned the spoon into a rose," Harry reminded her. "But Haruhi said you can't do much without a wand."

"Every little bit would help, Harry. We should go to the library and see if we can figure out how they're doing it."

Going to the library had limited appeal to Harry even if it did mollify the only person who was sticking by him. "We could just ask them."

"You think they would tell you?" Hermione asked. "You  _are_  competing with them."

"Can't hurt to ask," Harry said. He started moving forward but Malfoy beat them to it.

.

Haruhi watched as a pale blond boy came across the lawn towards them. He paused close by, trying to decide which one he should speak to, settling on Kyoya. "I'm told you are the sons of very important families in Japan, so I thought I should introduce myself. I am Draco Malfoy, son of Lucious Malfoy."

The twins glanced at each other with a skeptical smirk. The blatant self-promotion didn't quite ring true. They didn't have to tell people who they were. If you mattered, you already knew. Kyoya, however, rubbed his chin, evaluating.  _Son of the Malfoy family, an old and influential line. Wealth derives from land and a series of speculative and ethically suspect investments. Still, the connection could prove useful. His father and grandfather have been the_ éminence grise _behind several of the recent British Ministers of Magic..._ Kyoya smiled that perfectly correct smile that never quite reached his eyes but shifted his head so his glasses hid that fact.

"We are pleased to meet you, Mr. Malfoy. I am Ootori Kyoya, and these are my friends: Suoh Tamaki, Haninozuka Mitsukuni, the Hitachiin brothers and Morinozuka Takashi." He indicated each one, in order of importance, of course. "Oh, and Fujioka Haruhi," he added as an afterthought.

Haruhi noticed he hadn't flipped the names around the western way. Testing this boy to see if he'd done any research on his guests?

Apparently he hadn't for he looked at them blankly, the names meaning nothing to him.

"Malfoy..." Tamaki said thoughtfully. "There's a minor French family by that name in Normandy and Maine. Any relation?"

Draco bristled at the notion his family was minor, even if it was a cadet branch. "Cousins," he said curtly.

"French?" said Kaoru. "Any relation, milord?"

"Not that I know of," said Tamaki. "The de Grantaines are mostly in Paris, with a few family members in Orléans and the Champagne region. I don't think we have any provincial relations, but we could look it up." He turned to the confused Draco. "My mother is French," he explained.

_Provincial? Who does this kid think he is?_  Malfoy gritted his teeth. He didn't recognize the name de Grantaine, but he did know that Paris had been ground zero in the fight against the Dark Lord in France and many of the families on both sides had lost everything. Better to discourage any notion of family. This Tamaki might turn out to be a poor relation expecting largess from their wealthier relatives. He changed subjects abruptly.

"Krum says your school only admits purebloods." Hermione, watching nearby, rolled her eyes at Malfoy's name dropping and the implication of a closer relationship than could possible exist after only two days.

"That would be incorrect," Kyoya said. "Ouran was established to educate the next generation of magical leaders, which means power is the primary consideration. Now power can take many forms such as wealth, influence, intelligence and of course magical ability. Many of these correlate to lineage which is why that is of core importance."

"So why have you chosen the Gryffindors as your hosts? Slytherin is the house that values wealth, lineage, power and influence. The Gryffindors will let anyone in." He shot a nasty look towards Harry and Hermione. "Including mudbloods like Granger, poor people like the Weasleys and incompetents like Longbottom."

Across the lawn, Harry gritted his teeth. "You know, the library sounds pretty good after all." Harry and Hermione left.

"Longbottom?" Tamaki said. "The kid with the grandmother? He seemed ok."

"Just don't get in front of him when he's casting a spell," Malfoy said. "His have a tendency to misfire. He's practically a squib."

"I was under the impression the Longbottoms were a pureblood family," Kyoya said smoothly. "Ah well, I suppose even old families can have the occasional imperfect offspring."

"Er... yes. So why are you out here practicing?"

The Ouran students look surprised. "We're helping to train our champion," Honey said. "Surely you will do the same."

"Well, Diggory maybe," Malfoy sneered. "Potter is not a real champion. All of Hogwarts knows he cheated to get in."

"I don't think he cheated," Haruhi said. "I saw his face when his name came out. I don't think he knew it was in that goblet."

"When you know him better, then you'll know. He's an attention seeking and self-important leech living off his fame. If you want manners and breeding, you're better off with Slytherins." Malfoy stalked off, not wanting to be challenged.

"I'm not sure about that kid. He seems kind of…" Haruhi started.

"He was a jerk," Hikaru said.

"An insecure jerk," Kaoru clarified.

"And a suck up," Hikaru added.

"You sure he's got money?" Kaoru asked.

"The Malfoy's are as old and influential as the Haninozuka," Kyoya said. "And as wealthy as the Ootoris."

"I think he's lonely," said Tamaki.

"No!" the twins vetoed.

"You cannot save everyone, Tama-chan," Honey said, backing up the twins.

"Kyoya," Tamaki appealed. "You felt he could be a valuable contact."

Kyoya glanced at Mori, who shook his head ever so slightly. Kyoya sighed before answering carefully, "Akira Komatsuzawa, as president of the school newspaper, could have been a valuable contact as well, and to be honest, this Malfoy reminds me a bit of him. A valuable contact does not mean he would be a good host."

Tamaki started the pouting puppy eyes. "Komatsuzawa at least had his newspaper club for a family. This Malfoy is alone."

"I dunno boss," Hikaru said, "these Hogwarts Houses seem pretty tight."

~oOo~

"What do you mean we brought 27 tea sets and cosplays?"

"Don't be ridiculous Haruhi," Kaoru said. "We brought 27 tea sets and 9 cosplays ."

"I mean why would we do more cosplay here than we do at home?" Hikaru said. "Sheesh."

"Although we could always conjure up more if we need to," Kaoru said.

"We have to have a club session, Haruhi, those lovely ladies from Beauxbatons asked," Tamaki said.

"I wanted to get my school supplies ready for tomorrow," Haruhi protested.

"I'll do that for you," Tamaki volunteered. He waived his wand and all her books rose in the air, danced around one another and arranged themselves by color of book cover into a rainbow and settled down. The quills spread themselves into a fan and several sheets of parchment folded themselves into white roses and laid themselves into a pleasing little garland in front.

"I wanted them organized by topic, not color," Haruhi muttered.

"Do all commoners lack an appreciation for beauty?" Hikaru asked.

"I'm being practical," Haruhi said.

"Guess so: no appreciation for beauty here," answered Kaoru.

"Besides, we don't even have a music room," Haruhi tried one last tactic.

"Of course we do," Kyoya said. "I made sure to include it on the specifications when they were creating our little palace."

"Of course you did," Haruhi muttered.

~oOo~

A cluster of girls tittered at each other as they almost timidly made their way up the stairs of the floating pink palace. The Beauxbatons girls, primed by stories that Renge had told her cousin, couldn't contain their excitement at getting to attend a Host Club tea and gushed about it to the Ravenclaw girls causing Padma Patil, Ravenclaw, to invite her sister Parvati, Gryffindor, who brought her best friend Lavender, who didn't want to be the youngest one there so she told third year Fiona who dragged her roommate Ginny along. At the top of the stairs, the doors swung open to a soft white light and a flurry of rose petals. "Welcome."

Ginny almost bolted. Everything about this place made her feel like a commoner, from the marble staircases to the plush carpets to the gilded plasterwork framing painted and carved ceilings. She tried to tell herself Hogwarts was just as grand, and it was, in its way. But where Hogwarts Castle projected strength and permanence, this petite palace is what happened when phenomenal artistry met unlimited funds and was allowed to indulge. She knew that as pure blood families went, the Weasleys were not rich and suddenly felt a little guilty. As the only daughter, she seldom had to make due with hand-me-downs the way Ron had. Books and school supplies, sure, but not clothes. She started to turn back towards the stairs when the black-haired boy with glasses came up. She was already predisposed to like black haired boys with glasses. He consulted a black notebook then looked up and smiled. "Miss Weasley, isn't it?"

"Oh, um, yes."

His eyebrow twitched less than a millimeter in surprise and he consulted his notebook again.  _Hm. I had pegged her for the princely type, but if she's shy..._ "Haruhi, I'd like to introduce you to Miss Ginevra Weasley and her friend Miss Fiona Albright. Miss Weasley, Miss Albright, may I present Haruhi Fujioka. But you may already know each other, since we dined together."

Haruhi smiled easily. "I didn't have the chance to introduce myself. I'm Haruhi."

"We know," Fiona said breathlessly. "You're the Triwizard Champion."

"In my defense, I'm not the one who did the choosing," Haruhi deadpanned.

"I'm Fiona."

"And I'm ... not entirely sure what I'm doing here." Ginny stuttered. She felt a flush of irritation at herself. Why was she so tongue tied around these boys? She wasn't that way around the boys in her own class. Or around her brothers. Or her brothers' friends like Lee or Neville or Dean or ... well, ok, she was totally that way around Harry, but Harry was different. He was rich and famous and smart and kind and funny and good looking and… Oh God, was she falling for him? And these Ouran guys were in the same category. Well, being in the same category, these guys were never going to notice her, never going to make a fuss over her and she could keep her stupid crush to herself.

"You know, I say the same thing to myself all the time," Haruhi said.

"And how do you answer?" Fiona at least was getting this flirting thing.  _Why wasn't she intimidated?_ wondered Ginny enviously.

"Usually I just tell myself I'm having tea and leave it at that. It makes life simpler," Haruhi said wryly. "Or do you prefer coffee?"

"Tea is..." Ginny glanced away mid-sentence and stopped when her eyes fell on the neighboring table. Lavender and the Patel twins were sitting with the Hitachiin twins.

"You've never had instant coffee?" Kaoru said. "It's the official drink of the Host Club."

"It's like a muggle magic potion," Hikaru explained. "You simply pour hot water into this powder and it makes a coffee-like beverage."

" _Coffee-like?_ " Haruhi said, annoyed at their snobbery.

"Not a lot like, but kind of like," Hikaru said. "They're muggles, after all. You can't expect their magic to be very good."

"You know some things muggles make are pretty good," Haruhi the half blood said.

"This may not be your strongest argument," Kyoya said looking at the coffee.

"Muggle potion?" said one of the Beauxbatons girls. "I haf never 'eard of such a thing."

"Ees eet safe to drink?" asked another.

"I'll make it safe for you my princess," said Tamaki. "I'll taste it first and you can drink it from my mouth." The girls all squealed and rocked back and forth in excitement.

"Here too?" said Haruhi under her breath.

"Do you think..." Ginny started shyly, "do you think I could have a little of this potion powder? My dad loves muggle made things."

"But of course Princess," Tamaki breezed over to her. "Hikaru, Kaoru, go bring us an owl!"

They came to attention smartly. "Yes sir!"

"Mori-senpai, make sure we have clear written instructions to make this potion. There may not be any muggles around to demonstrate."

"Hn," Mori nodded.

"What instructions? You just add water!" Haruhi said.

"Honey-senpai, make a list of cakes and biscuits that go well with instant coffee!"

"Yes sir! C'mon ladies, you can help Usa-chan and me taste test."

"Awww," the girls gushed. "He's so cute." They followed him over to his table and began sipping and sampling.

"Haruhi! Prepare an owl sized packet of coffee; not too large but not too small." Tamaki began pacing. "Hmm. Do we need to send a tea set as well?"

"There's no way an owl can carry a porcelain tea set, senpai," Haruhi said drily.

"Then we may have to risk it and hope their magical dishware doesn't interfere with the coffee."

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Who would enchant a coffee cup?" She went to go make a small package of the coffee.

"I didn't mean to cause such a fuss..." said Ginny.

"Nonsense," said Kyoya. "We want every young lady's visit today to be memorable," then he turned to the gallery of adoring young ladies, "which is why we have prepared these lovely limited edition gold-edged calling cards embossed with the image of your Host. You can purchase just your Host today or a complete set of all of them."

"Oh, I want one!" "I want one too!" "I'll take a complete set!"

Haruhi's eyebrow was twitching even as she folded up the parchment around the coffee and sealed it with wax. She handed it to Ginny as the twins brought her the owl. An exotic white faced owl, of course. Ginny quietly gave the owl delivery instructions and it took flight. Tamaki sighed dramatically. "If only I was as lucky as that owl to have you whispering in my ear."

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh," all the girls cried as they clutched their hands together and tilted their heads to one side in unison.

"You packed up the coffee by hand," Ginny observed.

Haruhi gave her a natural, unpretentious smile. "It seems somehow inappropriate to pack a muggle potion by magic. I mean the whole point is that it's a muggle thing."

Ginny mumbled something about time and effort.

"I don't think making people happy is a waste of time," Haruhi said easily. "Besides, we got to make you happy, you got to make your dad happy. It's like we got a two-for-one."

Ginny gave herself a little hug. She wished she had the money to buy one of those little gold edged cards. Well, she'd save up her pocket money. Next time.


	5. Wands and Whatnot

* * *

 

~oOo~

Haruhi entered a small classroom.

"That is four out of the five. I say Dumbledore, how much longer is your alternate going to keep us all waiting?" Karkaroff asked in a surly tone.

"He'll be along shortly," Dumbledore answered breezily. "I sent young Mr. Creevey to find him."

Haruhi glanced around the room. The government ministers were talking self-importantly. The reporter and the photographer were already picking out the best angles and best targets. The professors were all engaged in some intense discussion. Stunningly good-looking, Fleur and Cedric were flirting with each other. Krum was hunched over in the corner looking moody and distrustful and surprisingly like Kasanoda Ritsu. She wandered on over. "Hi. I'm Haruhi."

"I know who you are," Krum said brusquely.

"But we haven't actually met." Haruhi extended her hand.

Krum looked at it like it was a giant fishhook. "Did you vant something? An autograph perhaps?"

"To be honest, I'm not actually a big Quidditch fan. I only play once in a while when the other guys need a seventh. But hey! I hear you're pretty good."

The number one Quidditch player in the world just gave her a look.

"Any idea why we are here?" Haruhi asked.

"I think they mean to weigh the wands, examine them to make sure they are in good shape, and take some publicity photos."

The Japanese kid made a noise. "Think there's any way we can duck out of the photos?"

Krum's lips twitched up just a bit. Maybe he'd found a friend who wasn't interested in his fame. "We could try."

Haruhi smiled back causing Krum to blink.  _For a second that guy looked just like a girl._  He blinked again. It was gone. Mostly.

Harry arrived and was immediately pulled into an interview with some reporter with suspiciously over-blonde hair and an acid green suit. Krum gave a disagreeable snort at the kid who (to him) was obviously seeking publicity. "You believe him when he say he do not know how he got picked?"

Haruhi looked over at the boy who (to her) looked uncomfortable at the attention. "Yeah, I do. You three had already gone into the waiting room, but I saw his face when his name came out of the Goblet. He had no idea."

"And you?"

"My name was put in there as a practical joke. Nobody thought anything would come of it."

"A dangerous joke."

"My friends promised they wouldn't let me get hurt. I guess I have to trust them."

"To interfere would be breaking the rules."

"Yeah well, my friends aren't really good at following rules, especially if they think the rules are stupid."

Harry's interview appeared to be over so they proceeded with the Weighing Ceremony. An old man named Ollivander took the center stage. "Mademoiselle Delacour?" She handed over her wand. The old man squinted and looked at it closely, running his fingers along its length and then flicking his wrist creating a shower of brightly colored sparks. "Rosewood...inflexible ... 9 1/2 inches...And the core?"

"Veela 'air. From my grandmuzzer." He cast a spell creating a spray of flowers, scooped them up and handed them to her with her wand and then pronounced himself satisfied. "Mr. Diggory?" He repeated the examination this time creating a stream of silver smoke, again approving of the wand. "Mr. Krum?" Viktor slouched round-shouldered as he handed his wand to the old man, intensifying his resemblance to Kasanoda. "Mr. Fujioka?"

Haruhi glanced over at Chairman Suoh, whose mischievous smirk said that if she wasn't going to correct them about her gender, he wasn't either. Haruhi rolled her eyes and presented her wand. Ollivander ran his hands appreciatively along its length. "Beautiful wood grain," he said. "Japanese maple… Flexible yet durable...11 and a half inches...Hou-ou feather core..." He looked up abruptly. "You are not this wand's first owner."

She shook her head. "It was my mother's."

"And it changed allegiance on its own?" Usually a wand only changed allegiance when the current owner defeated the previous one.

"My mother was murdered by Death Eaters when I was five. At dawn on my eleventh birthday, I woke up with a strange feeling like I really needed to be closer to her. It was there among her things. As soon as I picked it up it sent a shower of mist through the room which acted like a prism and split the first rays of dawn into a rainbow. It's been my best friend ever since."

"Well, well" he said to the wand as though forgetting there were people in the room. "You chose early and stayed with it. Fidelity and justice are the Hou-ou's traits. Obedience too? Did the mother ask you to care of the child?" The wand sent up a small shower of gold sparks in answer.

Haruhi loved her wand but it never occurred to her that you could have a conversation with one. The old man knew his stuff.

"And you'll stay through the danger? You won't flee from a challenge?"

The wand released a shower of angry red sparks. Ollivander handed it back to Haruhi with a warning. "Powerful but temperamental. Be cautious with it Mr. Fujioka."

The wand shot out more red sparks as if objecting to something or perhaps everything Ollivander just said. But then the wand knew she was really a girl. Maybe it was objecting to the misapplied gender. When the man moved on to examine Harry's wand, Haruhi pulled her wand to her chest and whispered "It's ok. I have faith in you."

.

Harry ran over to Ollivander on his way out. "Excuse me sir, why did you warn Haruhi about his wand?"

The wand maker sized young Harry up. "Mr. Potter, a wand is much more than the sum of its parts, but you would be a fool to ignore those parts. A wand that is straight tends to cast straight magic; a wand that is twisted tends to cast twisted or indirect magic. A hard, unyielding wood lends itself to firm unyielding magic; a pliable wood is more flexible in its magic, but that magic is more easily altered. But the key is absolutely the core. Dragons are powerful and so are the wands made from them. A phoenix rises from its own ashes. Phoenix feather wands will always find a way to go on as long as their wizard wants to. The Hou-ou bird is a herald of prosperity and wealth, but it flees from trouble. If Mr. Fujioka's mother was murdered by Death Eaters, there is a very real possibility that the wand abandoned her or shut down at her moment of need. Still, it seems determined not to make the same mistake again so perhaps all will be well."

~oOo~

Ginny and Fiona dashed across the lawn, pausing when they got to the courtyard to catch their breath. "The only bad thing about herbology," Ginny puffed, "is that it's right before potions so getting there on time is always a hassle."

Her friend Fiona nodded as she struggled to catch her breath. "And to try to have enough time to swing by the bathroom to wash your hands. If Snape makes fun of me one more time for dirt under my fingernails…"

"Yeah, no kidding," Ginny nodded. "OK, let's get going." They picked up the pace again. As they rounded the courtyard stairs, the shoulder strap of Ginny's book bag caught on the corner of the stair rail and ripped out of the bag. Books tumbled down the stairs and papers fluttered across the courtyard. "Oh bugger."

"Ginny!" Fiona said.

"What? My brothers say it all the time," she said as she dropped to pick up her books.

Fiona scrambled across the courtyard chasing the windblown papers. Someone helpfully stepped on one to hold it in place. Fiona looked up. The "helpful" person was Draco Malfoy.

"Oh dear," he said. "Did the poor little girl's ratty old bag break?"

"Hey boss," said Kaoru, "isn't that one of Haruhi's clients?"

Tamaki looked up. English wasn't his first - or second language for that matter - but he was pretty sure that "poor" wasn't being used sympathetically. "Yes it is."

Pansy Parkinson gave cold laugh. "On the bright side, all her parents could afford were beat up, second hand books so nothing valuable got damaged."

"Ignore them," Ginny muttered to herself.

"Excuse me," Fiona said looking up at Malfoy. "Could you move your foot? You're standing on her homework."

"Am I?" Malfoy twisted his foot as he lifted it, shredding the paper on the flagstones.

Ginny pulled out her wand and began laying her bag out. "Reparo."

"Commiseceo," Malfoy said at the same time. The pieces of the bag mixed themselves up so when Ginny's spell took effect, some pieces were inside out or twisted around, the resulting mess unusable and unfixable. The Slytherins laughed and turned to go.

Their way was blocked by the disapproving Japanese students. "That was poorly done," said Tamaki, "and unworthy of a man of your station. Causing distress to a lady is not the behavior of a gentleman. I hope your father is ashamed."

Malfoy glared at him. His wand twitched in the hand. Honey took a step to one side and Mori to the other, flanking Tamaki in case this boy was stupid enough to attack him. Apparently, however, Malfoy recognized the threat and merely snarled, "Back off, foreigner. You have no place dictating proper behavior to a Malfoy."

Tamaki drew himself up, unable to watch a lady in distress, unwilling to let the perpetrator get away with it.

"Let it go, Boss," said Hikaru, rolling his wand between his fingers. "Some people just lead charmed lives."

"And everything they touch turns to gold," Kaoru added. "Best to steer clear as long as their luck holds."

Malfoy gave an arrogant smirk then turned and stalked off, which is why he never saw Hikaru's wand come up. "Tactus deauro."

~oOo~

Between Harry's one-on-one interview, the examination of the wands, and the photos afterwards, they missed the afternoon classes. The photos had taken much longer than necessary. The photographer wanted the beautiful Fleur in the front, surrounded by the boys. That Rita Skeeter reporter wanted Harry in the front. Krum kept slouching down as though trying to disappear behind the tall and handsome Cedric. Haruhi bent down to tie her shoe and missed the first shot altogether. "That's ok," Haruhi said. "You can use that photo. I don't mind if I'm not in it." But they retook it anyway. Then individual shots, and photos with the headmasters. "How many of these do they need?" muttered Haruhi. Harry and Krum were both in complete agreement.

Harry found himself alone when they went down to dinner. Hermione was in the library trying to work out that wandless magic thing and Ron wouldn't come over because he was still convinced that Harry had entered the competition without telling him. At first, Harry was hurt that Ron didn't believe him. Now he was just annoyed. And he kind of took it out on the next person to cross his path.

"Mind if I join you?" Haruhi asked, sitting down.

"You don't want to sit over there with the Slytherins?" Harry asked bitingly, still angry over the half conversation he'd overheard at the lake earlier.

Haruhi glanced over at the green and silver table. "Why would I want to sit over there?"

"Aren't they your type? Rich and pure blood?"

"That's not  _my_  type." She thought about it. Maybe it was. Most of her friends fit into that category. But that wasn't why she liked them. "Besides, that Malfoy kid is a bit of a self-important git. Is he really rich?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "Probably the richest kid in the school."

"Hm. Kyoya-senpai said he was and he's almost never wrong. Why does Malfoy flaunt it? Or is that a British thing?"

"No," said Harry. "It's a Malfoy thing."

"Weird. I mean a lot of my friends are rich, but they just expect everyone to know who they are."

Harry had never thought about it. He himself had money but tried to downplay it or hide it. "I dunno. Maybe... his father was a Death Eater - or a suspected Death Eater," Harry amended lest he get in trouble. He already had one detention with Snape for talking back. He didn't need a second one for saying something that was probably true. "But he claimed he was forced and nothing was ever proved. Maybe they flaunt it to show the world they got away with it."

"Yuck," said Haruhi.

Fred and George came up and beamed at Haruhi then turned to Harry. "Those Ouran guys are awesome! Malfoy was harassing Ginny in the courtyard and they threw some kind of Midas jinx on him."

"Oh God," Haruhi said, putting her head down into her hands.

"Midas jinx?" Harry asked.

"Everything he touched turned to gold," Fred said.

"How is that a jinx?" Harry said.

Haruhi made a noise. "Because it turns to lead as soon as anyone else touches it."

"So he's halfway across the courtyard and his book bag turns to gold and it's so heavy he drops it," Fred said.

"And he's trying to wrestle his books out of it, but they all turned to gold too," George said.

"Then that Crabbe kid he hangs out with tries to grab the golden book, and yeah, it turns to lead just like Haruhi here said."

"And at this point he's afraid to touch his wand so he can't do anything back."

The fourth years came up. Parvati glanced at her sister. "And the Ravenclaws said he was trying to figure out how to make the gold thing permanent so he didn't tell and when he went to Herbology, he refused to do any work and Professor Sprout docked Slytherin ten points. So then he picks up the plant and turns that to gold, then that moron Goyle who doesn't seem to have figured out what was going on tried to grab the plant and it turns to lead and Professor Sprout docks Slytherin another ten points for destroying a valuable specimen."

"But the best had to be Potions" Ron said, momentarily forgetting he was mad at Harry. "All of his ingredients turned to gold and his cauldron turned to gold and Blaise tried to move the caldron using his robe as a potholder so they could use Blaise's and get a working potion so they wouldn't fail, but his hand slips, it turns to lead and melts all over the table. Snape was livid. Except none of us know how to do that jinx, so he can't blame any of us... This was almost a ferret-worthy day."

"Is this permanent?" Harry asked Haruhi.

"No, it wears off in a few hours," she answered. "Unless they used the Greek based version, which is semi-permanent and has to be lifted."

The host club came over and joined them. The Weasleys and the Hitachiins eyed each other, then both sets high fived. It was enough to give Haruhi a headache. "Just tell me you used the Latin based spell."

"Of course," said Hikaru said, surprised she would even ask. "The Greek version requires someone to lift the jinx, which makes it traceable."

"They don't need to trace it. Fifty people in the courtyard saw you do it!" Haruhi was finally losing her temper.

Kaoru looked at George. "Anyone gonna rat us out?"

"Slytherins maybe. No one else."

Haruhi looked at the older boys. "I can't believe you're ok with this."

Kyoya shrugged. "While the connection could have proven valuable, we cannot have the club associated with a man who treats ladies as he did."

"He may have lineage," added Tamaki, "but that does not make him a gentleman."

"This is bullying," Haruhi protested.

Honey gave her a sage look. "Bullying is what Malfoy did to that girl. Bullying is picking on someone who can't fight back. This is just picking a fight."

~oOo~

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I admit I wrestled with that last line for a while. I'm not entirely sure Honey would be ok with what the twins did (although they didn't exactly ask him ahead of time). But in the end, I figured Kyoya would NOT want the club associated with such a person, Tamaki DID throw Princess Ayanakoji out for bullying Haruhi, and Mori once described the club as having "chivalry that would never die," so Honey would at least accept it after the fact.


	6. Quidditch

* * *

 

~oOo~

"I demand you do something!" Draco shouted forcefully.

"Indeed," Dumbledore replied pleasantly. "What would you have me do?"

"Expel them!"

"Unfortunately, the Ouran students do not attend Hogwarts so that is out of my purview."

"Then speak to their headmaster!"

"I most certainly shall."

"Good."

"As soon as he returns to Hogwarts."

"What do you mean?"

"Chairman Suoh is in London, meeting with the head of Gringott's Bank."

"Gringott's? Does he need money or something?"

"Unlikely. The Suoh Bank is the largest wizarding bank in Asia and the only major bank in the world not run by goblins. And after that, I believe he is off to France for a while on personal business."

"Well you need to do something!"

"I am forced to agree, Headmaster," Snape put in. "Had Mr. Malfoy not exercised extreme care, he could have touched another person with fatal consequences."

"Oh, I don't think so," Professor Flitwick said. "I examined several of the charmed objects. While Mr. Malfoy did destroy a valuable plant, the curse wasn't strong enough to work on animals. A very precise bit of magic," he said approvingly.

~oOo~

The Hitachiin twins surveyed the dining table. "We're bored."

"What do you want to do?" the Weasley twins said.

"Dunno," the Hitachiins shrugged. "You guys ever play Quidditch?"

Fred and George gave each other a wicked smile that lasted a half second before it was replaced by a look of complete innocence. "Every now and again."

"Wanna play a pickup?" said Hikaru.

"Sounds good," said Fred.

"Hey, Harry!" George called out, "you up for a round of Quidditch?"

 _Oh god yes!_ thought Harry.  _Anything to take my mind off this stupid tournament._ On the other hand, the glint in George's eye said those Japanese guys didn't realize they didn't realize they were about to be suckered. "Yeah, ok," he said nonchalantly.

Fred and George loved Harry. Ron was probably too slow on the uptake and would give away the game.

"Just us or are we going to try to put together seven?" Harry called back.

The Weasleys looked at the Hitachiins. The latter pair shrugged. "We got seven."

"See if the girls feel like playing," George said.

"So you want to place a bet on this?" Hikaru said.

"Ten galleons?" Fred proposed.

"Twenty?" Kaoru followed up with.

"Guys," Harry interjected, "shouldn't we find out who's playing before we put money on this?" Ok, the Weasley twins  _really_  loved Harry now for making it sound like they  _didn't_  have a championship Quidditch team. Although...

"He's got a point," said Fred. "Who've we got for a keeper?"

Ron's eyes widened. "I'll do it!" he said trying to get in on the game.

"Lee Jordan, maybe. Or Dean Thomas. Or the Cormac kid..."

"C'mon, I've been practicing all summer."

"Yeah, we watched you practice... I'm thinking Lee."

"What, is he your handicap?" Hikaru asked.

"Worse, he's our little brother."

The red headed Hitachiins looked back and forth between the red haired Weasley twins and the red haired Ron before shrugging. "I don't see it."

Ron's jaw clenched in irritation. It was almost enough to make Fred and George change their minds about fleecing these guys. Almost.

"Tell you what," Hikaru said. "For our handicap, we'll make Haruhi our seeker. Haru! Go grab our brooms, we're playing Quidditch."

"You can't summon them yourselves?" Haruhi said irritated.

Kyoya gave her a look that reminded her she was there to work on her debt.

"You guys suck," she said getting up.

"But I was going to take Haruhi into the village," Tamaki protested. "They have this drink called butterbeer that's supposed to be really good."

"Loser buys the butterbeers?" the Weasleys said.

"Works for us," the Hitachiins answered.

~oOo~

"Alright men!" Tamaki said, "what are we going to wear?"

"Clothes?" Haruhi suggested. "What's wrong with what we have on?"

"Matching outfits will mark us as a team."

"We know each other. If you don't recognize someone, they're not on our team."

"Hey, we brought the samurai cosplay from when we did the Ikadaya Inn," Hikaru offered.

"You really expect us to play Quidditch in cosplay?" Haruhi protested.

"Are you objecting?" Kyoya asked. "Be careful how you answer, you still owe us ¥5,758,000 on that broken vase."

~oOo~

The Gryffindors wandered into the Quidditch pitch wearing vaguely Gryffindorish colors, marking them as a team. They didn't want to wear formal Quidditch robes - in the first place it wasn't an official game and in the second, they didn't want to give it away too soon that the Ouran guys had gotten suckered. They heard a slight noise from the spectator stands when they walked into the field. "Somebody up there?" Ron asked.

"Guess people really missed Quidditch," Harry shrugged. He certainly did. What he wouldn't give to have this be a normal year where the House Cup was the biggest worry on his mind.

The Ouran guys came out dressed like samurai, with headbands and ponytails. Harry couldn't tell if the ponytails were fake or if they had magically grown their hair but either way, the effect was pretty cool. In fact, it was...

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

"Blimey!" Ron said. "Half the girls at Hogwarts are up there."

"Plus the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang girls," Fred added.

Tamaki dramatically brushed back his hair and the pitch of the squeals of innumerable girls went up, only partially muffled by the excited stomps of hundreds of happy-dancing feet.

The Ouran guys bowed, ignoring the background noise as they acknowledged their opponents. "Friends," Tamaki said, "may I introduce our team? Honey-senpai will be our keeper."

The little blond held up a pink bunny in a black kimono. "This is Usa-chan," he said happily. "He's going to ride on my broom with me."

"Awww," said Katie, Alicia and Angelina.

Fred and George looked alarmed. "We have money riding on this. You're not gonna go easy on him 'cause he's cute, are you?"

"No," said Katie, but it lacked conviction.

"Hikaru and Kaoru will be our beaters." The twins posed rakishly leaning on their bats. "And Mori-senpai, Kyoya and I," Tamaki leaned towards the girls, his voice taking on a softer note, his violet-blue eyes shining, "will be chasing you."

The girls shivered a little.

"He means we'll be your chasers," Mori deadpanned.

"I think you mean  _the_  chasers," Haruhi corrected.

"Hn," Mori acknowledged the correction with a slight shrug which caused the fold on his robe to part just a little, revealing his well-defined chest.

Without ever taking her eyes off the guys, Alicia said to Katie and Angelina "You know how Quidditch can be a really rough game with lots of grabbing and manhandling?"

"Yeah?" said Katie, also without looking away.

"If that happens, let it."

"Same," said Angelina.

"And Haruhi will be our seeker." She gave a short wave.

"Shall we begin?" Kyoya said.

The Gryffindors mounted their brooms, Harry keeping to the back so as not to intimidate them yet with his Firebolt. The Ouran guys mounted their brooms and the Gryffindors winced. Six Firebolts and one old ratty thing that looked like it would have trouble keeping up with a Cleansweep 5. "Don't sweat," Fred said. "We'll beat them with skill."

They released the balls and kicked off the ground.

.

From his vantage point up high, Harry surveyed the field. Normally, teams whipped around the field at the start of the game picking up momentum and getting a feel for how the other players moved. The Ouran guys did not. They casually drifted around the stadium watching the Gryffindors, marking out placings on the field, and posing for the girls in the stands. Harry rolled his eyes. The Gryffindors wasted no such time; Angelina immediately took the quaffle and headed full speed for the center Ouran goal, but at the last second threw to the left goal. That little kid moved really fast and blocked it. Really fast. And it wasn't his broom, it was the kid. Reflexes like that were more than luck. That was serious training. Harry had to wonder why  _he_  wasn't the seeker. Honey threw the quaffle to Mori who zipped past Angelina and then passed to Kyoya who threw for the Gryffindor goal posts. Ron blocked it, but just barely. The quaffle went to Katie and she sped forward then stopped, blocked by Tamaki. He wasn't moving; he was just smiling at her. "You fly so gracefully," he said. She made a half-hearted feint to get around him then tossed the quaffle in Alicia's direction. The black-haired kid with glasses intercepted. He held the ball up and gave Alicia a cool smile then moved in the direction of the Gryffindor goal. Alicia raced to catch up and they flew almost side-by-side across the field. Harry pause his search for the snitch and watched. That black-haired kid was on a Firebolt; it could do twice what Alicia's broom could do. But they were racing neck and neck. All of the chasers were. These guys weren't pushing their brooms, they were keeping the game even. Good sportsmanship or ...?

"Are these guys even playing Quidditch?" Ron said.

"They're playing something..." Fred said, watching as Tamaki leaned over and said something Katie, who giggled.

"...but it ain't Quidditch," George finished. In frustration, he hit a bludger hard at Tamaki.

Tamaki ducked and the bludger missed, but he was too close to the spectator stand and it wouldn't have time to turn around. "Shit!" All four beaters saw it at the same time. Kaoru was closest. He leaned into that Firebolt like nothing Harry had seen before, not even in the World Cup. Too fast, however. He overshot the budger and it missed the bat and connected with Kaoru's forearm. The force of the impact caused the bludger to rebound but knocked Kaoru from his broom into the spectator stands where he was immediately swarmed by the girls he had been injured protecting.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru called out and sped towards his fallen brother. "Kaoru! Kaoru!" He leapt off his broom.

Kaoru looked up from the fourteen girls who were cradling him and said weakly, "Hikaru, you have to get back in the game."

"I can't! I can't!" Hikaru said melodramatically. "You're hurt!"

The girls in the stands made a little whimpering noise.

"You can't share my pain this time," Kaoru said, reaching for his brother with his good arm.

The whimpering noise from the girls evolved into soft cries.

"Your pain is my pain," Hikaru said, anguished. "I don't care if no one else understands."

The Patil twins' eyes went wide as saucers. They reached for each other with one hand and with the other, Parvati reached towards Hikaru while Padma reached over to touch Kaoru.

"Go!" Kaoru said sharply. "You have to make sure no one else gets hurt and protect the girls."

Hikaru took two deep breaths and on the third jerked away and mounted his broom. The girls in the stands erupted. "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Kaoru closed his hand over Padma's and leaned back into the dozen other girls waiting to hold him.

The Weasley twins looked on in disbelief. "That's just ruddy brilliant," Fred said.

"Fred," George said. "Break my arm." He extended it to his brother.

Harry had watched the whole exchange. Shaking his head, he turned back and scanned the field for the snitch. There it was, hovering right behind Haruhi's left ear. Harry considered making a run for it but thought that might make the guy look around. He drifted over to him. "Ok...those girls...what just happened down there?"

Haruhi sighed. "Those guys can turn any group of girls into a squealing mountain of emotion. It's a moe thing. Don't ask me to explain it, I've never understood it."

The snitch darted behind Haruhi's head and fluttered there, taunting them both. Harry couldn't grab it and Haruhi couldn't see it.

"I have to ask about your broom," Harry said casually, moving a little closer. "Not to put too fine a point on it, but the seeker usually has the best broom on the team."

Haruhi shrugged. "What can I say? They're rich, I'm not," catching Harry's surprised look, quickly amended "I'm not poor either, but the Ouran uniform and books are really expensive so spending money on a new broom when my mother's old one still works fine seems like a waste of money." Harry couldn't help noticing the guy had these enormous, rich, chocolate colored eyes.

"I thought all you Ouran guys were rich."

Haruhi nodded sideways in a mostly acknowledgment. "Mom was an attorney. They usually do make good money, but she tended to defend people who needed her rather than those who could pay a lot."

Harry's had the weirdest impulse to lean over and kiss the Japanese kid. He'd never ever had the desire to kiss another boy before. He shook his head and tried to get back on topic. " _Was_  an attorney?"

"Like I said in the wand ceremony, she was killed by you-know-who's supporters. She stopped them from seizing some property they really wanted, forced them to give back some other property they didn't have a right to. So I was raised by my dad who's a muggle. Kept me in hiding and out of harm's way. No reason to keep up on the latest broomsticks there," Haruhi added lightly.

"Then how did you get into Ouran?"

"Every year they offer one scholarship. To get it, you have to have the top scores on the entrance exams, plus have good grades, plus letters of recommendation. To keep it, you have to be the top of your class every year. I did and I am."

"Hey Haruhi!" Hikaru called out, "Is that guy bothering you?"

"No, we're fine," Haruhi answered back.

"Because if he is, I can do something about that." He twirled his beater's bat menacingly.

"Or you could catch the snitch which has been hovering around your head for five minutes," Kyoya added.

"Really?" Haruhi looked up in surprise and started to reach for it but it flitted away too quickly. Harry however, lightning fast, snatched it cleanly out of the air. He held it for a second, then handed it to Haruhi, whose eyes sparked. "Thank you."

Somewhere in the back of Harry's brain a light bulb flickered a couple of times and popped on. "You're a girl."

"Yeah," she said.

"Everybody thinks you're a boy."

She sighed. "It's a long story."

"Hey Haruhi, you coming down or what?" Hikaru said testily.

Harry looked at her with fresh eyes. "They're kind of ... uh ..."

"My first couple weeks at Ouran some of the kids were mean to me 'cause I'm not rich. Ever since then, the guys have been super protective of me. It's kind of sweet, really. Or it would be if it wasn't so annoying."

They headed down to the ground where the others were clustered around Kaoru, whose arm was looking peculiar. "That looks bad," Angelina said. "We should probably get you to the nurse."

"What do you think think?" the Ouran guys asked Kyoya.

He pulled out his want and waved it over Kaoru's arm. " _Osto reflexio,_ " he said. A ghostly image of Kaoru's radius and ulna rose out of his arm, the radius split in two. "It's definitely broken," Kyoya said. He kept his eyes on the shimmering image while waving his want back and forth over the arm. "Adiunare," he said softly. The two fragments of the radius slid together, glowed bright white then returned to the color they were before. Kyoya snapped his wand away and the image vanished.

The Gryffindors blinked. "You know healing spells?"

"Kyoya-senpai's family run several of the hospitals in Japan and his father and brothers are all healers." Haruhi explained.

"Magical hospitals?" said Harry. "That's pretty cool."

"Magical hospitals and a couple for muggles. You know, research hospitals where people sometimes get inexplicably cured from things that aren't usually curable. But even though the treatment worked somehow never make it past the research phase."

"Huh," Harry was starting to reevaluate this lot.

"You sure you don't need to see the nurse?" Katie said.

"I'm fine. Maybe after."

"So... butter beers?" Kaoru said, rubbing his arm.

"Speaking of which, Haruhi, your inattention cost us 20 galleons each. That's 140 galleons."

"Yeah, yeah," she said resignedly. "Just add it to my debt."

"That's not fair!" Harry said indignantly. "That was your bet, not hers. She shouldn't owe anything. And besides, that snitch thing could happen to anybody."

"Are you defending her, Potter?" Kyoya looked amused.

"I guess I am."

"Wait, ' _her?'"_  the Weasley twins said.

"Yes, ' _her_.'" Harry said, still glaring at the Japanese guys.

To his surprise, Tamaki broke into a smile. "You know what Potter? You're all right."

Kyoya glanced at Tamaki. "Aren't you concerned that he knows her little secret?"

Tamaki and the twins pulled out their wands and looked around frantically. "Can we obliviate this many people?"

"No you cannot!" Haruhi said indignantly.

The Gryffindors weren't taking the exchange well. "You have to excuse them," Kyoya intervened. "There are reasons why Miss Fujioka's gender has been concealed."

Harry nodded. "She told me Voldemort's followers killed her mother. And her father, being a muggle, would be unable to protect her." At the mention of the name, Tamaki, the twins, three Weasleys and the Gryffindor girls all shuddered.

Kyoya arched an eyebrow. That would work as well as any other explanation.

"But...it's been years," said Katie. "You're still worried after all this time?"

"Hello, the World Cup?" said Ron.

"That was just old supporters ... wasn't it?" Angelina sound hopeful.

"Coming out of hiding after all this time, with nothing to be gained?" Fred said.

"You think he's coming back," Alicia said fearfully.

"I  _know_  he's trying to come back," Harry said.

"You know who is trying to come back?" asked Honey.

"Exactly," Ron said.

"What?" said Honey.

"You-know-who," said Ron.

"No, I don't know who. That's why I was asking," said Honey.

"Voldemort," Harry said, cutting short the conversation.

Ron shuddered. "Can you  _not_  say his name?"

"Why? Is it less scary if I don't?"

"Frankly, yes," Ron fumed, his annoyance at Harry flooding back. "I get it. You're not afraid of him. The fearless, famous Harry Potter. The only person known to have survived the killing curse. But you didn't grow up surrounded by the devastation that psychopath caused. Maybe if you had, you'd appreciate it more." Ron stomped off.

"Does that mean I can have your butterbeer?" his brother called after him.

"Go swim with the squid, Fred!" Ron retorted.

"I'm George." He turned back to the group. "What got into him?"

"He's mad because he thinks I entered the Triwizard Tournament without telling him."

"You really didn't?"

"I really didn't."

"Huh." George turned to Haruhi. "What about you?"

"I entered, but not on purpose."

"That sounds like a story for a butterbeer," Fred said. As they headed towards Hogsmead, he whispered to his twin "Did you realize that bet was per person? 'Cause I was thinking it was 20 galleons for the game."

"No kidding. Thank Merlin for Harry."

Tamaki waived his wand. "Reditio brooms." The brooms all disappeared back to wherever they were stored.

Harry gave a sideways look and turned to Haruhi. "So they didn't actually have to make you go get their brooms."

"The truth is, they like ordering me around. But it's ok," Haruhi held a hand up to stop Harry from getting mad. "The first time I met them, I broke this vase. It was an ancient magical artifact so while a  _reparo_  spell would fix the vase, it couldn't restore the magic. So now I owe them more money than I can ever repay, and they know that. I work off the debt and they run it back up. They buy me things I could never afford - the school uniform, top notch hair stylists, they take me places I could never otherwise afford to go, but they're not giving me presents, they just add the cost onto my debt. As long as I join in their games, they don't care. And the truth is, those guys are the most fun I've ever had. I mean, you saw them playing Quidditch."

Harry just stared at her. "I go from liking these guys to hating them to liking them again."

Haruhi laughed. "Welcome to the club."

~oOo~

* * *

 


	7. The First Task

~oOo~

" _Dragons!? Are you people insane?_ " Haruhi shrieked.

A flood of guilt washed over Harry. He had known the Karkaroff had cheated and told Krum, and that Maxime had cheated and told Fleur. He wasn't sure if Hagrid had cheated when he showed Harry or if Hagrid's brain simply shut off the way it always did when dragons were in the equation. Harry had told Cedric to keep things fair. It had not occurred to him that the Japanese might not cheat too.

"Are you all right, Mr. Fujioka?" Bagman said.

"No, I'm not all right. You just told us you're planning on killing us for sport."

"I think you're overstating things," Bagman temporized.

_I don't_ , Harry thought. And from the looks on Cedric, Krum and Fleur's faces, they really didn't either.

Haruhi raised an eyebrow at him. "Then feel free to take my place."

"Oh, I can't." Bagman looked flustered. "I have to be the announcer."

Harry put his hand on Haruhi's shoulder. She glared at him but settled down.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter." Bagman cleared his throat before continuing. "As I was saying, each dragon will be guarding a golden egg. Your task is to get that egg away from the dragon. Now in this bag," he said holding up a purple velvet bag that was writhing and making little growling noises, "are models of five different dragons. You will face the one you draw. Miss Delacour, ladies first..."

She reached in the bag and pulled out a perfect little copy of the Welsh Green. It was almost cute until it rose on its haunches, flapped its wings and spit at her. She gave a polite smile and turned as green as the model.

"And gentlemen, in the order your names came out of the Goblet."

_Really_ , Harry thought,  _if we're doing ladies' first then Haruhi should be going next._ But since Haruhi didn't say anything, he couldn't either. Well, maybe one of the others would draw the Hungarian Horntail and spare her that. Hargrid had said that was the worst one.

"Mr. Krum? I believe your name came out first?" Mr. Bagman offered the purple sack to the Bulgarian.

He reached in and grabbed quickly. He held his hand balled into a fist for a minute, reluctant to see what fate had dealt him. Then he realized everyone was watching him. He opened his hand. A four-legged scarlet wyrm with a gold ridge down its back swirled in tight circles, snake-like around his palm.

"Ah! The Chinese Fireball!" Bagman sounded pleased.

They all watched its hypnotic movements. "No vings," Krum commented at length. They watched it for another few seconds

"It can still fly," Haruhi felt obliged to mention.

"How can it fly? It has no vings," Krum said.

"It magically controls the air currents and density around it. Trust me. It can fly."

Cedric looked at Haruhi sideways. "Are you helping an opponent?"

"In case you missed it, our opponents are the things in the bag," Harry defended her.

"Yeah," agreed Haruhi. "We're just competing to see who can have the most flair while being fed to them."

The champions all gave a short laugh. Cedric Diggory reached into the bag and pulled out a small silvery blue one. He looked up at Haruhi.

"Don't ask me," she said. "I've never seen one of those before."

"That is a Sveedish Short Snout," said Krum. "Fast, but not clever. But their fire is very hot, so hot it is blue."

Cedric looked over at Fleur. "And yours is a Welsh Green. They're really shy and avoid people. If you leave it alone, it'll leave you alone."

"Except I can't leave eet alone. I must steal an egg from eet."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that," Cedric said.

It was Harry's turn. Two dragons left. He reached in and pulled out...

"Hungarian Horntail," Krum informed him. "Their fire is not so hot as a Short Snout, but the fangs are venomous and the tail is deadly. And they hate all humans. She vill likely try to kill you."

"Great," Harry said.

Haruhi's turn. She reached into the bag and felt around. There didn't seem to be any more dragons in there. Just a poof of feathers. She pulled it out and stared. It was long and slender, with brilliant blue and green feathers on its head and back, a startling golden crown and scarlet and gold feathers on its belly.

"Eet iz a Quetzalcoatl from Central America," said Fleur. They all looked at her. "Zat is all I know."

"It looks rather like the Fireball. Maybe they're similar?" Harry said.

"Well, good choices, everyone!" Bagman said jovially as though they had had a choice. "I must get out there to announce. Oh, and each dragon has a number on its neck. That's the order you'll go in." He'd meant to have a private word with Harry to make sure he had everything he needed but instead scurried out before that Japanese kid could make another suggestion that the task was too dangerous or that he, an adult, should take on the challenge himself. Honestly, it was like the kid didn't really want to be a Triwizard Champion.

~oOo~

Back in the tent, the competitors all looked down at their dragons. "One," said Cedric, holding his up.

"Deux," said Fleur.

"Tri," said Krum.

"Four," said Harry.

"Go," said Haruhi.

Cedric heard his name called. "Wish me luck," he said a little unsteadily.

"Cedric," Harry said, "McGonagall told me they have teams of wizards standing by. You know, to keep things from getting out of hand."

"Thanks Harry."

Cedric walked into the arena. The Short Snout reared up on her hind legs but kept her wings wrapped around the nest. She eyed the boy malevolently, aware he was a threat.

Alright, Cedric thought. Fast but stupid. What do you do with stupid people? Distract them. With something shiny, or loud, or fast moving that catches the eye. Something that wouldn't hesitate to defend its territory. A dog. But not a big dog, those were generally too mellow. A high-strung, yappy sort of dog. Territorial. Protective. But not too small or it might not be a threat.

Where was he going to get a dog though? He looked around. There were stones scattered around the arena - hiding places, possible weapons, general scenery. Enough he could make a whole pack of dogs. But no. A dog smart enough to lead a pack might be too smart to take on a dragon. Better stick with one.

This was going to be the most difficult transfiguration he'd ever done. He didn't just need a dog, he needed a particular personality in the dog. He rolled up his sleeves.

.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "Very good, Mr. Diggory. Very well done indeed."

Professor Sprout looked over in surprise at the praise Minerva was giving a rival student. Pleased but a bit surprised. That woman had a competitive streak.

.

The Ouran students were seated next to the Gryffindor Quidditch team. They had bonded over butter beers. That and the fact that the Ouran guys had paid their bet off promptly.

_In the Three Broomsticks after the game, the girls stared at their little piles of golden galleons. "How much money did you put on the game?" Alicia hissed._

_"We thought it was ten galleons for the game," Fred said._

_"Minus the butterbeers," George added._

_"Not twenty per person," Fred finished._

_"Yeah, well thank Merlin for Harry. I don't have twenty galleons," Angelina put in._

_They looked at the unclaimed twenty sitting in the middle of the table. "Do you suppose we have to share that with the git?" Fred said._

_"He's your brother," said Harry._

_"He's still being a git," Fred said._

_"And to you, his best friend, without whom we wouldn't have the money," George added._

_"Pay him," said Harry. The last thing he needed was Ron being even more angry at him over money, always a sore spot with Ron._

_"Yeah, ok," the Weasley twins conceded. "Minus a git tax."_

.

Ron was regretting being a git to Harry. He took one look at the enormous dragon snarling at Cedric and one look at Cedric's pale face and was suddenly infinitely grateful he had not figured out a way across that age line. And grateful that neither Fred nor George had managed it either. Harry never bragged about his encounter with the basilisk. He didn't even like to talk about it. No, Harry would never volunteer for something like this.

~oOo~

Cedric reached down and rubbed the dog's ears, cementing the bond between them. They took off for the dragon at the same time, but the dog, being faster, got there way ahead of him. It circled around to the dragon's left side, barking furiously, while Cedric stealthily moved in on the right. The trick worked, almost too well. When the dragon swung around to face the dog, her tail whipped around. Cedric flattened himself on the ground to avoid being struck.

"Oooh, narrow miss there, very narrow," Bagman called out.

Even though every neuron in his brain was screaming to get out of there, he crawled on all fours to the edge of the nest.

"He's taking risks, this one!"

The nest was surrounded by a ring of stones, like a fire pit, he supposed. Fitting, since some dragons kept their eggs warm by breathing fire on them. If he could roll away a couple stones, the eggs would shift and the golden egg sitting on top would come tumbling into right into his hands. He flicked away two stones noiselessly with his wand. The eggs shifted, but not enough; two of them jammed in the opening stopping the movement.

"Clever. Pity it didn't work," Bagman commented.

Cedric looked at the egg. The only way he was going to get it now was to crawl into the nest. He glanced over at the safety wizards stationed along the outside of the arena. They shook their heads advising him not to. If it went horribly wrong, they couldn't get close enough in time to save him. But this stupid contest couldn't end until he got that egg. And the dog was getting tired. It was now or never. He took a deep breath and crawled into the nest. The dog made a valiant advance, then retreated just out of biting range. The dragon leaned forward to try to get it thereby moving out of Cedric's path just enough. He grabbed the egg. A roar went up from the crowd which pulled the dragon's attention from the dog. Startled, she looked around just in time to see Cedric making a mad dash holding an egg. She sprayed the area with fire. At first, Cedric thought she missed, but then the right half of his body stopped working except the nerves which started screaming in pain. The Short Snout closed in to make a meal of whatever was not too charred to eat, but when she lowered her head to bite, the dog went for her throat. She reared back, tossing her head high to dislodge the dog, but the movement bought enough time for Charley Weasley and the dragon control team to move in. Mediwizards put Cedric on a stretcher and rushed him to Madame Pomfrey's tent where she doused him in large quantities of purple liquid that let off a huge cloud of steam, absorbing the heat from the burn as it boiled off.

"What happened to my dog?" he said as he tried to sit up.

Madame Pomfrey pushed him back down. "What dog?"

"He transfigured a stone into a dog and it saved his life," one of the stretcher-bearers told her.

"It was pretty badly beat up," the other stretcher-bearer said. "Professor McGonagall offered to transfigure it back into a stone to end its suffering but Hagrid said it was your dog and you should decide."

"I want to see it," Cedric said.

They nodded, picked up their stretcher and went to get the dog.

In the stands, the students gabbled excitedly waiting for the scores. Except the four older Ouran students, who were looking at the field thoughtfully.

"Unnecessarily risky, but not unnecessarily cruel," observed Kyoya quietly.

"Kyoya," Tamaki said in an equally soft voice, "this is more than Haruhi is used to dealing with. We may need to intervene."

"Takashi..." Honey said.

"Hn," the black-haired boy concurred.

They saw the medics come out and pick up the dog and take it back towards the healer's tent. Mori nodded in approval. Watching them, Alicia had the most peculiar feeling that  _that_  had bought Hogwarts more credit than the fight with the dragon had.

Cedric's scores came up middle to high: sixes, sevens and eights; but that was expected. The judges would naturally give themselves room on either side, in case the others were that much better or worse.

~oOo~

"Fleur Delacour!" Ludo Bagman called out.

She had been pacing around the champions' tent, trying to shut out the noise from the arena. She tried sitting still but she started to shake every time. How were those little boys holding it together? Maybe they were too young to understand what they were up against. No, the Japanese kid clearly knew because he protested emphatically.

_Think!_ she told herself. Madame Maxime had spent the last few days teaching her about the weaknesses of dragons. Of which there weren't many. So instead they focused on practical matters: charms to repel fire, charms to create water in case the fire repelling charms failed, and charms to make one smell like pine trees (the least appetizing scent to dragons known). They had spent an entire day pouring over Gilderoy Lockhart's book  _Dancing with Dragons_ only to discover that dragons were not nearly as dangerous as everyone thought provided you did not approach them when they were hungry, frightened or nesting. They did learn that nesting mothers were reluctant to leave their eggs, so luring it away with a tasty flock of swans wasn't likely to work. Mostly they had a list of things that would not work. The good looking British boy had told her it was shy, that it wanted to be left alone. Maybe she could convince the dragon it was alone. Or that it was home, happy and peaceful. Dragons were magically powerful though. She wasn't sure she could cast an invisibility charm strong enough to fool one. Let alone an illusion strong enough to make it forget the past few days when it had been captured and brought here and kept in close quarters with strange dragons. Sleep maybe? But if it took half a dozen wizards to stun one, she probably couldn't put it to sleep by herself. She paced around the room some more. Distract it? With a daydream maybe?

Her name had been called. It wasn't much, but it was the best she had.

_Try to look non-threatening,_ she told herself as she entered the arena. She looked at the dragon but when their eyes met, she looked down.  _Not a threat. Just another magical creature placed in this arena._ She reached back and pulled the hair tie from her hair, releasing the ponytail and letting her long silky hair flow free. Then she began swaying back and forth, singing softly to herself. You couldn't quite make out the words of the song, but it seemed familiar and peaceful and comforting, like a lullaby not quite remembered from infancy. She swung her right foot across her body and danced a few steps to the left, then pivoted and moved a few steps to the right as if amusing herself by dancing to her own song. Each shift in direction moved her slightly forward as well. The dragon's head swayed back and forth watching her move like a cat watching its prey. Hermione glanced around. Every guy in the stadium was also watching her, their heads swaying like the dragon's. If there was any doubt left about this girl's veela heritage, it was gone now.

Fleur pulled out her wand and began playing with it, waiving it around like a flower. It began to emit a soft pink mist with little golden sparkles. She danced a little closer to the dragon, still singing, still adding to her mist. When the mist cloud became large enough, where her wand passed a second time, a swirl of darker pink appeared. The golden sparkles settled on the dark pink and it began to resemble clouds at dawn. She waived her wand beneath the mist and there appeared a dark purplish-blue layer, like a valley in shadow before the sun cleared the mountains, or a calm sea. The mist wasn't so thick you couldn't see through it. More like you didn't want to see through it. Fleur moved forward again as though trying to enter her fantasy skyscape, increasing the depth of the mist. She waved her wand again and little shapes began to dart through the misty shapes, like baby dragons playing hide and seek among the clouds at dawn.

The dragon was no longer paying attention to the girl, but watching the baby dragons. The green sighed and laid down across the eggs, rolling her head to one side to watch the dragonettes play.

Fleur was concentrating on her illusion so only vaguely heard Bagman say "I'm not sure that strategy was wise," as the dragon lay down on the eggs. She'd have to find a way to move the dragon, at least a bit.

One of the little ones soared high over the clouds then looped around to the purple sea and skimmed low over the water, wingtips just barely breaking the surface on the downstroke. He rose up in a graceful arc and settled just outside of the nest. The mother leaned forwards to meet him, exposing the golden egg. Fleur leaned forward, reaching for it. "Careful now," Bagman said. But then the mother leaned back, almost crushing Fleur. "Good lord, I thought she'd had it then."

Another dragonette flitted out of the clouds and landed next to the first and nuzzled the nesting mother. She reached her head over the pair of them, again lifting off the eggs just slightly to rub her face over the daydream of her future children. This time Fleur grabbed the egg, but to slip away clean, she needed the green's attention farther away. A third baby dragon swooped in from the side and bowled over the other two, then hovered over them making a taunting noise. They responded with a scolding noise, then launched themselves at their hovering sibling and a fierce chase ensued, wheeling and diving in and out of the clouds. A small spurt of fire and a surprised yelp from the fledglings caused the green to snort in amusement. Unfortunately for Fleur, it was accompanied by a much larger flame than the dragonette had made and Fleur's skirt caught fire. "Aguamenti!" She pointed her wand at herself. And doused herself thoroughly. But the mental distraction had allowed the illusion to dissipate. The Welsh Green blinked in surprise. Her eyes darted around the arena and settled on Fleur. Their eyes met for a second then the dragon let out a bellow of rage though at the loss of her imaginary little ones or at being made a fool of there was no way to tell. Fleur turned and ran. The dragon let lose a stream of fire at the ground where the girl had been standing then raised her head, flames chasing the fleeing girl until they singed Fleur's feet as if to say  _run, and don't come back._

_._

In the stands, the Gryffindors and Ouran guys watched Fleur make it safely to the edge of the arena. Only Mori noticed that having counted her eggs to make sure they were all still there, the Welsh Green put her head down sadly and covered them with her wings as if to protect them from their captured state.

"Wasn't as exciting as Cedric," Ron said.

"It's not about exciting," Hermione said. "It's about effectiveness."

But apparently the judges agreed with Ron. Fleur's marks were slightly lower than Cedric's. "Clearly the judges are mostly men," Hermione huffed. "She got away clean with hardly a scorched hair."

"I'm not sure what gender has to do with it," Kyoya answered her. "But it took time to weave that spell, so she took longer than your classmate. And that transfiguration was a much more complex spell than a simple, albeit detailed, illusion."

"Bloody right," said Ron. "Who side are you on anyway?"

She merely sniffed as they called for Viktor Krum.

~oOo~

In the champions' tent, they heard Krum's name called. He nodded at the remaining two.

"One more thing," Haruhi said. "It's not just air currents. They can control water too, and everything that goes with that."

Krum scowled and made a grunting sound that might have been thanks, might have been simple acknowledgment, or might have been mind-your-own-damned-business. He really did remind her of Kasanoda. She gave a slight smile. She really did hope he lived through the next half hour.

"What do you mean 'Everything that goes with it?'" Harry asked.

"Flooding. Storms. If they put water in the arena or that dragon realizes there's lake, it can create a flash flood that will wash away this entire stadium. I don't know what they were thinking bringing that thing here."

.

Krum hesitated at the entrance, unsure how much faith to put into the Japanese kid's information. The fact was, the kid had every reason to lie. They  _were_  in a competition, after all. If he'd drawn one of the European dragons, he'd have known how to handle it, but these weird ones...? Still, all the kid had said was that it could fly without wings. Well, broomsticks could fly without wings, but they were enchanted. An animal that could cast spells like a wizard? Preposterous. Better stick to what he knew.

Karkaroff had emphasized that time was important; a key scoring factor. Just go straight for it. Most creatures with a brain were afraid of dragons therefore it wouldn't be expecting direct action. He wrapped himself in the strongest protection charm he knew and came out running.

His technique worked, at least at first. The dragon was taken aback. Krum got half way across the arena then found out why it was called a Fireball. The dragon spat at him; not the nonstop stream of fire that ceased as soon as the dragon inhaled like the European dragons, but a white-hot ball that continued to burn like a flaming pearl. Krum dodged it and kept going.

.

"Blimey!" Ron breathed. "Good thing it's got lousy aim."

Mori gave him a withering look. "The dragon hit where it aimed. It was trying to warn him off."

Krum didn't take the hint and continued forward. The dragon leapt into the air. The Japanese kid was right. It could fly without wings. It began undulating in the sky and a huge gust of wind blew Krum back and pinned him against the wall.

.

In the Champions' tent Haruhi looked up fearfully. "It's starting," she said in a shaky voice.

"It's just wind," Harry said.

Haruhi swallowed and nodded. "Maybe it'll stay that way."  _Oh please_ , she thought.  _Don't let it turn into a full-blown thunderstorm._

.

Krum peeled himself off the wall and, crouching low to the ground, forced his way forward. The wind turned into a torrential rain, making it impossible to look up and see.  _Right about the water also,_  thought Krum.  _But I can even the odds._ He forced his eyes open long enough to aim and...

The dragon roared in pain. Krum's attack had struck her in the eye. Blinded, she fell out of the sky and onto her eggs. At least one of them made a sickening crack. The Fireball roared in an anguish not physical. The winds shifted direction at a furious pace, unpredictably this way and that. She could smell him getting closer, but her own winds were confusing the scent. She began whipping her tail around and clawing at every sound and broke another of her own eggs. Krum reached the nest.

"That's some nerve he's showing - and - yes, he's got the egg!"

A massive cheer went up from the crowd. There was no question that was the most exciting competition so far.

Mori watched, his fist balled up, as the dragon handlers removed the Fireball from the arena. Not two but four eggs were smashed, one of their former occupants still feebly struggling to move and breathe with lungs not fully formed. "Takashi," Honey said softly. Tamaki reached out to touch his arm.

"There was no reason for that," Mori said in a low, dangerous voice.

"Kyoya," Tamaki said in that calm voice of command, "can we heal the dragon?"

"The dragon, yes. There is nothing we can do for the babies."

"But we need to wait until after Haruhi has gone, just in case," Hikaru said. The others nodded. But it wasn't Haruhi who was called next.

~oOo~

Haruhi had watched the others leave the Champions' tent one by one. Cedric looking determined to make a good go of it. Fleur, so pale her silvery blond hair looked dark. Krum, looking surly and focused. She had warned him about the dragon's powers, right? She hadn't missed any?

There were only two of them left in the tent now. Harry paced back and forth muttering a spell under his breath so intently that things in the tent were starting to twitch. She listened to Bagman's undescriptive and unhelpful comments. She supposed they were intended to be that way. It wouldn't be fair to the earlier champions if he told the later ones how to do it.

A blast of wind struck the tent so hard it came right through the magical wards and the whole thing swayed. It was probably the first time in history that a magical tent needed its ropes and poles to stay upright. Krum must have angered the dragon. "It's just wind," she told herself. "It's just wind."

"Did you say something?" Harry turned towards her, hoping for a distraction.

Then came the rain, sheets and sheets caught in the wind, throwing themselves violently against the canvas. "Just reminding myself that typhoons don't normally produce thunder and lightning."

"Hurricane," Harry corrected.

"What?"

"If it forms in the Atlantic, it's a hurricane. Typhoons only happen in the eastern Pacific." Harry kind of shrugged apologetically. "My aunt used to buy my cousin all these science books - you know, the kind that debunk magic. Anyway, he never read them, but sometimes when they'd go out and leave me at home alone, I'd read them."

"So, no tips on how to handle dragon-caused storms?" Haruhi bantered in a shaking voice.

"No, it was all pressure systems and fronts." Harry bounced a little, nervously.

"Ah."

She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it. That simple gesture made everything better. At least until Harry's name was called.

~oOo~

The Firebolt streaked through the air and stopped dead in front of Harry. In the stands, Hermione gave a self-satisfied smile. For all that students weren't supposed to get help from their teachers, she's seen Karkaroff and Krum shooting energy bolts off the bow of the ship across the water; she's seen Maxime and Fleur checking out stacks of books from the library. ( _Good luck with that,_ she had thought,  _Harry and I already looked through those._ ) She even watched the Ouran guys coaching their champion in some very weird shielding spells. Harry had had only her, but together, the two of them had pulled it off.

~oOo~

The host club watched as Harry pulled out of the most spectacular dive any of them had ever seen, on or off a Quidditch field.

"Great Scott, he can fly! Are you watching this, Mr. Krum?" Bagman said amazed.

The entire audience agreed.

"Whoa," said Hikaru.

"Darn right, 'whoa,'" said Ron. "That's my best friend and the best Quidditch player around."

"Now you're his friend again?" said Hermione, exasperated. "Now that he's doing great?"

"It's not like that!" Ron retorted.

"Sure seems like it," Hermione said. "Where were you the last few days when he needed you?"

"I...uh...well...um..." Ron stuttered. "You don't think he'll hold it against me, do you?"

"You're an idiot, Ron, and you owe him an apology!"

Another dive; Harry dodged another wall of flames from the Horntail, but the swerve sent him into the eponymous tail driving the spikes into his shoulder. The audience let out a dismayed cry.

"Kyoya," Tamaki said worriedly , "I thought if a 14 year old could manage this task, that Haruhi should have no trouble with it. But she can't do any of these things."

"I know," Kyoya said softly, wondering for the hundredth time how the Goblet could possibly have picked Haruhi. All the solutions thus far had been clever and effective, but Haruhi wasn't cold enough to create an animal and send it to its probable death in the jaws of a dragon. She wasn't deceitful enough to cast a convincing illusion. She wasn't aggressive enough to fight it head-on as Krum had done. And her broom could never outfly a dragon; and even if she borrowed one of their Firebolts, she was nowhere near the flier Harry was.

"Takashi," Honey said, nodding at the front of the spectator stand, "the protective wards here are like the ones around the castle: one way, to keep things out, not to keep things in."

"Hn," Mori acknowledged. He'd noticed the same thing.

The stadium erupted into cheers. "Look at that!" Bagman fairly shouted. "Our youngest champion is the quickest to his egg!"

Harry landed and was immediately surrounded by his professors. After congratulations, they hauled him off to the healer's tent while the dragon keepers came out to subdue and remove the Horntail. Ron looked uncertainly at the entrance to the stands, caught between the need to go find out how badly his best mate was torn up and wondering if it would be totally rude to leave before the last champion had gone. Especially since he was sitting next to the last champion's friends. Concern for Harry won out, but Hermione grabbed his arm. "Sit down," she hissed. "They're not letting any students down there until it's all over."

Harry's scores came up, distracting him.

Eight.

Nine.

Nine.

Nine.

A perfect  _Ten_.

Four.

"What?" Ron screamed.

Hikaru looked over. "Dude, your friend got totally ripped."

"Darn right he did!" Ron said indignant, now 100% in Harry's corner. "What's that scumbag Karkaroff playing at?"

Hermione and Kyoya looked over at Ron.

"It means he didn't beat Krum," Kyoya said.

"Their scores are exactly tied," Hermione said, finishing his thought.

They looked up at each other; two wizards who could both do math and immediately saw the ramifications of the score. Kyoya gave her an approving nod, clearly appreciating her intelligence. Hermione found herself wondering if she could request his table at their upcoming tea.

The dragon handlers brought in Haruhi's opponent, or rather the brought in the nest, placed the eggs in it and let the mother loose. A brilliant streak of colors zoomed in, curled about her eggs counting them and making sure they were unharmed, then letting out a fierce roar of challenge and warning to the audience. But what most of the audience noticed about the fifth dragon was

" _Feathers?_ " Ron said. "Is that thing even a real dragon?"

"It's not only a dragon, Ron, it's the smartest one they brought," Hermione said. "The tricks the others used probably won't work on it. It's a relative of the Seiryu and like the Chinese Fireball can control wind and rain." Nobody asked how Hermione, who knew everything, knew this too. She was almost disappointed no one asked, since she'd only learned it two days ago when she and Harry were in the library.

The hosts all turned to her. "Can it make thunder?" Tamaki asked, alarmed.

"Well, yes," said Hermione.

Six heads snapped back to the floor of the arena. Haruhi's name had been called.

~oOo~

Haruhi heard her name. Staring at the ground in front of her, she began her long walk to the stadium, lost in thought, still wondering what she was going to do.

~oOo~

The Host Club watched as Haruhi walked through the gate and into the arena, continuing forward at a slow and measured pace. She didn't have to  _project_  that she wasn't a threat the way Fleur did. Oblivious to everything but her own thoughts, she actually  _wasn't_  a threat.

"Neutral as the Earth," Honey said approvingly. "You think she remembered our lessons?"

The confused dragon watched her as she came closer and closer until at last, only a dozen paces from the nest, the Quetzalcoatl let out a deafening roar of warning.

Haruhi looked up, found herself nose-to-nose with the dragon. "Aaagggghhh!" She screamed, turned around and ran.

"Nope," Hikaru said. "Don't think she remembers any of it."

After a moment's hesitation, the dragon launched herself off the nest and towards the intruder.

"Takashi! Go!" said Honey.

Mori vaulted over the rail, did somersault in the air and dropped into a three-point landing on the ground between Haruhi and her pursuer. The crowd gasped, then, to everyone's surprise, Mori abandoned his combat stance and calmly stood up. The dragon skidded to a halt in front of him. It loomed over him and stared into his eyes as if emphasizing the size difference between them.

Mori calmly gazed back.

The dragon snorted.

Mori, rooted deep into the earth by magic, didn't budge any more than Honey had when Mori tried to knock him over by the lake. Instead, Mori held up one hand.

The dragon sniffed it. And sniffed it again. And proceeded to sniff him head to toe to head to toe to head. It made a deep, rumbling noise.

The tall student rumbled back.

The crown of feathers around the dragon's head all perked up in surprise and she regarded Mori like an excited cockatoo. The dragon butted her head against Mori playfully. He reached over and scratched her nose. She began rubbing the side of her face against him like a cat claiming something it liked. You could almost see little hearts dancing above the dragon's head.

"Um... Does he know this dragon?" Bagman said. He looked around for anyone who might have an answer, eyes settling on the one who discovered the twelve uses for dragon's blood. "Is it  _possible_  to make friends with a dragon?"

Dumbledore answered bemused. "I suppose anything is possible."

~oOo~

Cedric and Harry had hobbled out of the healers' tent to watch the last competitor. Madame Pomfrey made it abundantly clear she didn't see why her two current patients needed to watch her next patient become one. Fleur and Krum's injuries were minor and healed in minutes, but they too were standing outside the tent watching.

"Vhat ees 'e doing?" Fleur said.

"No idea," said Cedric.

"Shhh." Harry raised a hand to quiet them, listening carefully. It was almost but not quite like a language he knew, spoken with a very heavy accent. His ear strained to pick it apart and then...

"Would you like to see my eggs?"

The dragon closed her jaws around Mori and Haruhi. The audience gasped in horror. The dragon control team sprinted, knowing they would be too late. Faster than an arrow, the dragon whisked them back to her nest then set them down. She reared back and gazed down at her eggs fondly, then glanced at Mori, glanced at the eggs, and again at Mori as though asking his approval. "They are beautiful," he said.

"Oh my god," Haruhi breathed, "that color is amazing."

And so they were, a perfect Caribbean blue. Mori translated and the dragon cocked her head, deciding maybe the female wasn't so bad either. "But that one cannot possible be yours," he said, pointing at the gold one.

"I don't know whose it is," replied the Quetzalcoatl. "It was in the nest after they moved the eggs. There are several mothers here, you know. Careless humans. But if it was my egg that had gotten lost, I would hope whoever found it would take care of it until I could locate it."

"It is not a real egg," said Mori.

The dragon cocked her head dubiously. The enchantment had been well done and even confronted with the illusion, it was hard to see through. She sniffed the golden egg thoroughly. Haruhi's eyes went wide when the Quetzalcoatl unsheathed a claw the size of Haruhi's face and gently tapped on the egg. She stared at it hard, blinked to clear her vision, looked again and jumped back, startled. She looked up at Mori, who merely nodded.

"Haruhi-kun," Mori said, "you may take your egg, but do not touch the others."

She glanced at the dragon for permission, carefully reached in, extracted the golden egg, paused and bowed respectfully to the dragon, then ran back to the edge of the arena. The Quetzalcoatl examined her eggs carefully to make sure they were not harmed by their strange nest-fellow and satisfied, curled her long, feathery body over them protectively, leaving her front claws draped over the edge of the nest next to where Mori was standing. She laid her head down on her claws, just barely touching Mori in a proprietary, almost feline affection and watched the girl run towards the safe line. "Is she your mate?" the Quetzalcoatl asked idly.

Mori's eyes went wide, his head snapped back and his mind went blank as he tried to formulate an answer. He was surprised when his own voice answered "She is too young to mate."

"How long will you have to wait?"

"Two or three years."

"That's not so very long." Then the dragon gave it a second thought. "Your kind does live that long, don't they?"

"Yes, we live a hundred years and we are neither of us yet twenty." Unbidden, the thought came into his head  _Unfortunately, there are five others who want her as well._


	8. Judgements

* * *

 

~oOo~

The judging booth was in chaos.

"Disqualified!" Karkaroff roared. "The rules clearly state a champion cannot ask for help!"

"But Fujioka-san did not ask for help," Chairman Suoh said mildly. "It would appear that Morinozuka-san volunteered of his own accord."

"I must agree vith Igor," Maxime put in. "Ze rules do state zat a champion may not receive help."

"From a teacher," Dumbledore gave a knowing smile to Maxime, then glanced at Karkaroff, then back to Maxime.

The woman paled. Did Dumbledore know she had helped Fleur? Was he subtly telling Karkaroff she had cheated?

Karkaroff set his jaw. Did Dumbledore know he had helped Viktor? Was he subtly telling Maxime he had cheated? They each refused to meet the others' eyes, just in case.

"Monsieur Crouch?" Madame Maxime deflected.

He pursed his lips. This wasn't a job for the administrative Head of International Magical Cooperation, this was a job for a career diplomat. "You're the sportsman, Bagman. What do you think?"

"Well if the Ouran student didn't break the rules, my score still won't be very high. It wasn't exciting at all. It wasn't even very interesting."

"On the contrary," Dumbledore said, "I found it fascinating. I was unaware anyone even could speak to dragons, let alone talk one out of one of her eggs. This would have made my research into dragons' blood much easier."

.

"You idiots!" Haruhi yelled. "You got me disqualified!"

"Yeah, you're welcome," said Hikaru.

"Seriously?" Haruhi said. "You enter me in this stupid competition then don't think I can handle it?"

"Is this a trick question?" the twins said.

"That dragon can create thunderstorms, like a Chinese dragon can," Tamaki said, still worried even after the fact.

"Don't be mad at Takashi, Haru-chan," Honey said. "I told him to protect you."

"Of course he did," said Tamaki. "We couldn't let anything happen to our little daughter!"

"I'm not your daughter, senpai."

"Also, if you get eaten by a dragon, you can't repay your debt." Kyoya gave her a sly smile.

.

The dragon handling team entered the arena to remove the Quetzalcoatl, fanning out around her. The dragon swiveled her head, realizing she couldn't watch all of them. "Get behind me," she said to Mori. "These ones are dangerous."

"Let me talk to them," Mori said. He moved forward. The Quetzalcoatl was torn between protecting her eggs and defending her new friend. She finally stayed with the eggs but reared up, ready to fry the lot of them if they hurt the-one-who-speaks. The wizards, seeing the aggressive posture, readied their wands to stun the beast. Charlie Weasley came forward to talk to the tall Japanese kid. "That's not necessary," Mori said.

.

"Perhaps you can explain the judging criteria again," Chairman Suoh said pleasantly. "Because by my understanding, Miss Delacour should be in the lead."

Madame Maxime sat up sharply.

"How so?" Crouch said.

Suoh shrugged. "While it's true her time was slower than the boys, they all got burned. Miss Delacour suffered nothing worse than a singed skirt. And she caused no injury and only minimal distress to the beast."

"Zis is true, vhat he says."

"But the spell wasn't complicated," Crouch said.

"It doesn't have to be complicated to be effective," Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "I dare say we all still use spells that we learned our first year. And it was cast against a very powerful magical creature."

"I think ze rules could be more clear," said Maxime.

Not disqualified after all, Haruhi's scores went up. One, one, three, four, three and a five from Dumbledore who was still intrigued by the notion of speaking with dragons.

~oOo~

Harry watched what had to be the strangest procession in the history of Hogwarts (and that had to be saying something) as it moved out of the arena. The dragon handlers had moved away, clearly ignoring their better judgment by allowing an unfettered dragon to move freely through a crowded amphitheater. Half the handlers led the way. The egg moving team, who obviously agreed with the dragon handlers that this was a mistake, came next, nervously watching the mother dragon. Behind them was Mori, chatting with the Quetzalcoatl as they walked side by side. In fact ... was that dragon  _trotting_? The dragon's head kept swiveling back and forth between her eggs and the Japanese kid, her crowning feathers bobbing happily. Charlie Weasley and the other dragon handlers brought up the rear.

"D'ya see that, Harry?" Hagrid came up. "I always said dragon was jus' misunderstood."

Harry gave Hagrid a sideways look. His recent experience had been somewhat different.

"Oh, but you were great, Harry," Hagrid added. "Bes' one out there!"

"Darn right he was the best!" Ron came up. "Even those Ouran guys said you got robbed on your score!" Ron's indignation filled Harry with happiness. His best friend was back. "Oh, and sorry," Ron mumbled. "You know, that I've been, you know... I reckon now whoever put your name in the Goblet wasn't trying to help you out."

"No kidding," said Harry.

"Um," interrupted Hermione, "what's Hagrid doing?"

They all looked over. Hagrid was jogging along towards Charlie Weasley and the dragons like a child drawn in by a pied piper. "Uh oh," said Ron. Harry, who'd just gotten away from a dragon couldn't believe he was doing this ... he took off after Hagrid.

.

They got to the clearing in the forest where the dragons were being housed. Harry was relieved to see the Swedish Short Snout and the Welsh Green, the first two dragons in the arena, had been securely chained back up by heavy iron collars around their necks. The injured Chinese Fireball was still thrashing around while the foul tempered Horntail was hissing and swiping viciously at the handlers trying to get the collar around its neck. The teams assigned to the first two had moved over to help the teams assigned to the second two but all of them, dragons and wizards alike, stopped at the sight of a free roaming dragon butting her head playfully against a student. The nest team very gently set the eggs down. The Quetzalcoatl flew over, curled about the eggs counting them, then nuzzled each one to make sure it was unharmed before zipping back to Mori to rub her face against him in thanks.

"What's going on?" one of the dragon handlers asked.

"What's going on?" the Welsh Green asked, craning her neck as high as the chain would allow.

"I think this kid can talk to dragons," Charley said.

"I found this cool new pet! He can talk and make the bad ones back off and everything!" the Quetzalcoatl answered.

"I want to see!" The Green shook her head, loosening the collar ever so slightly, then flattened her ridge scales, leaned forward to the length of the chain, sliding the collar down towards her torso. Once it was on top of the ridge scales, she pulled her head back and slipped out of the collar. She bounded over to Mori.

"I want to see too!" wailed the Short Snout, but the Green's trick wouldn't work for the Swedish dragon whose collar was too small to slip over her head. She yanked angrily on the chain, but it was firmly anchored in the ground. She breathed blue-hot fire on it and in a matter of seconds, the chain went red, then white. A sharp jerk and the softened metal tore like spaghetti. "Can it really talk?" the Short Snout asked. The Green kept her ridge scales flat as though expecting a trick.

"Say something," the Quetzalcoatl said.

Mori rumbled a greeting.

The Green's scales popped up in surprise while the Quetzalcoatl ruffled in pride. "See?"

The Horntail swept four wizards out of her way with the aforementioned tail and stalked over. "It's just repeating noises. Do you understand what you are saying?" it demanded.

"Yes," Mori bowed respectfully, "I understand what I am saying."

The Horntail sniffed Mori, then lightly batted at him with a claw to make sure he wasn't an illusion. "Huh." She sat down, stumped.

"See Harry?" Hagrid enthused. "Friendly as can be." He strode over to Mori, but the unpredictable action startled the dragons: the Short Snout inhaled sharply, ready to flame him while the Horntail tensed her claws and raised her foreleg, ready to strike.

Unthinking, Harry rushed forward. "Don't hurt him!"

The dragons froze, staring at him.

The Quetzalcoatl slithered along the ground towards Harry. "Say that again."

Harry gulped. "Don't hurt him. He thinks dragons are the most wonderful creatures ever and he just wants to be friends."

The dragons all looked at Mori. "What's wrong with him?"

Mori looked at Harry. "Parselmouth?"

"Yeah," Harry hissed, waiting for the revulsion that usually accompanied the discovery.

"Hm," was all Mori commented. He turned to the dragons. "There were no dragons where he grew up. He learned to speak by talking to snakes."

The dragons looked at him with pity. "Tell him to speak more slowly. He hisses and slurs his words too much when he speaks quickly."

Mori glanced over. Harry nodded. "Yeah, I got it."

"Blimey, Harry," Hagrid breathed. "Ya can speak to dragons too?"

"Apparently not very well," Harry mumbled.

It didn't matter. Harry, always one of Hagrid's favorite people ever, just jumped about fifteen notches in Hagrid's book.

The Chinese Fireball let out another anguished roar. A defeated looking wizard came over to Charley. "I'm sorry," he said. "Even with stunning spells, we can't get the Fireball settled enough to look at her eye. And the eyes are so delicate, she'll lose it if we can't get to it soon. We may even have to put her down."

"They weren't supposed to get hurt," Charley said angrily. "Everyone was so worried about the kids that no one thought about the dragons."

The knowledge that the Durmstrang students were celebrating at this moment suddenly made Harry sick. All the students were, but that didn't make it any more forgivable.

"Could we help?" Harry asked. He looked at Hagrid and Mori.

"Ya think ya could, Harry?" Hagrid sounded full of hope.

"Um, maybe?" Harry looked at Mori.

Mori said something to the Quetzalcoatl who skimmed over to the Fireball along her good side. They touched noses then laid her long serpentine body over the Chinese dragon's. She nodded to Mori.

"My eggs!" The Fireball suddenly jerked her head up.

"I'll guard them for you," said the Green who left to do just that.

"And I'll guard you while you're pinned down." The Horntail loomed menacingly over the wizards, swishing her tail back and forth.

Mori and Hagrid moved closer to the injured dragon. "Blimey!" Hagrid said, "even burned she's beautiful." Mori made a noise of agreement.

"What'd he say?" demanded the Horntail. "That sounded threatening."

"No, it wasn't!" promised Harry, translating.

Mori gently probed the burn around the eye. "Not heat. Acid?"

"T'weren't neither," said Hagrid. "Acid nor heat won't go through dragon hide. This was alkali."

"You know about acids and bases Hagrid?" Harry said surprised.

"Course. I'm the Care o' Magical Creatures Pr'fessor. I seen a few injuries Harry."

"Who is the most skilled healer here?" Mori asked.

"Madame Pomfrey," Charley answered without hesitation.

"Send for her."

The school matron huffed over, very much put out. "First the students, now the handlers. Whatever was the ministry thinking bringing dragons here?"

"It's not the handlers," said Harry. "Your patient  _is_  the dragon."

"What? You expect me to...? You're the Care of Magical Creatures Professor, Hagrid."

"Please, Madame Pomfrey," Hagrid pleaded. "I don' know how ter fix an eye."

She looked at the dragon's marred face. "Is it safe?"

"The other dragon be holdin' her down pretty tight."

Poppy swallowed hard and moved forward, but the minute she saw the liquified flesh and the deflated goo bag that used to be an eye, the Fireball ceased to be a dragon and became a patient. She touched the melted skin gingerly, then smelled her finger, then wiped it absentmindedly on her apron. "Well, someone hold her nose down, this isn't going to be pleasant."

Mori rumbled and the Short Snout came over. "My eggs!" the Fireball said worriedly just as the blue dragon placed her claws around the Fireball's nose. "It's ok," the Swedish dragon soothed. "Arianawel is watching them."

"Arianawel?" Harry said. "Is that the green dragon's name?"

The Horntail nodded. "It means 'silver wind.'"

"That's really pretty. What's your name?"

"Halalfelul. It means ' _death from above.'_ "

"Oh, um, that's a ... good name for a hunter."

"Does your kind have names?"

"Um, yeah. I'm Harry. It means leader. But mostly, our parents give us names because they like the way it sounds or they know somebody with that name they want to honor."

"What a peculiar way to name yourselves."

Madame Pomfrey had finished cleaning out the wound and summoned a vat of familiar looking purple liquid.

"Ok, you probably need to warn everyone when she first puts that on, it's going to sting, then it's going to boil off in a big purple cloud. But it takes the heat from the burn with it, so it really does help," Harry said. "I don't want anyone startled." Especially not an edgy fire-breathing dragon.

"And you know this because…?" Halalfelul said suspiciously.

"She used it on me when…" Harry stopped, unsure of whether or not the Horntail recognized him.

There was a pause. "You deserved it."

It was a good thing that Harry warned the dragons about the smoke because they all tensed in surprise wondering if they had been betrayed. The Horntail inhaled sharply and prepared to fire the whole clearing if they had been lied to. Then Madame Pomfrey touched her wand to the area and healthy pink flesh slowly spiraled out. Whether because the spell was optimized for humans or perhaps dragons were simply slower to heal, the burn was only half way healed. The skin was still raw and there were no scales to protect it. The dragons were nonetheless fascinated; they had never seen magic like this before. The air temperature around Harry rose ten degrees as the Horntail slowly let out her breath. Still, ten degrees was better than a hundred. The three dragons all leaned in to get a closer look and Madame Pomfrey joined the very short but expanding list of humans they liked. "If that meets your approval, I'll get to work on the eye," she said, batting the dragons' noses away with her free hand. She sent one of the handlers back to the castle to get bedsheets to use as bandages, then she began the most complex spell Harry had ever seen, or at least what he could see of it since her back was to him. She reached into the burned-out eye and pulled out a chord which she spun into a small rope. She formed the damaged goo into a bowl to which she attached the rope which she then filled with liquid also drawn from the dragon. She created a bubble over top then crawled over the dragon's nose. "Tell her to open her eye. I need to make sure the colors match." Harry saw a fire, bright like marigolds and autumn leaves, settle onto a plate. A black dot in the middle stretched into a fine line before she waved her wand over it. "Nox." A sphere of darkness covered half of the dragon's head and she finished her work by unerring skill and instinct. When she was done she crossed her arms and leaned back, satisfied. Every dragon and wizard in the clearing regarded her with awe. "Now then," she said brusquely, "the new skin will itch as it heals and even more when the new scales grow back in. She must not scratch it. If she does, I will cone her like a dog. Well, tell her!"

Harry turned a laugh into a cough as he heard Mori translate the scratching instructions, but not the cone threat.

"And the eye must be shielded for at least 48 hours. I will check on it regularly, but no one is to lift that spell but me."

"Madame Pomfrey," Charley said, "by order of the Ministry, we're removing these dragons tonight."

"Charley Weasley!" she commanded in a voice worthy of McGonagall herself, "You asked me to take care of this dragon, that makes her my patient. After two broken arms, a broken leg, a splinched shoulder and a weasel grafted on to your left ear, you of all people should know I never let a patient go before they are fully healed. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am." He cowered back a little bit.

The Horntail leaned over to Harry. "Why is she roaring at him?"

Harry translated the entire conversation.

The Horntail looked Harry dead in the eye. "We won't leave her hurt and alone. If she's not going neither are we."

Harry broke the bad news to Charley and the good news to Hagrid.

"We can't risk the students," Charley said.

"We will not initiate an attack," the Horntail replied.

"They must promise not to leave the Forbidden Forest," said Charley.

"No chains," said the Horntail.

"Wouldn't dream o' it," said Hagrid

 _You're the only one who wouldn't dream of it,_  thought Harry.

"Who are you talking to?" said the Fireball. "Did they bring someone else?"

"No," said the Quetzalcoatl, "we found two humans that can speak."

"One who can speak, one who can sort of speak," corrected the Horntail, eyeing Harry disdainfully.

"Humans aren't smart enough to speak." The red dragon looked around slowly. Mori bowed and introduced himself. Harry copied the gesture.

"Why does that one talk funny?"

"He was raised by snakes," the Horntail said.  _Frankly, snakes might have been preferable to the Dursleys,_ Harry thought.

"She should get some sleep," Madame Pomfrey ordered.

The Fireball started to rise to crawl over to her nest then recoiled in horror. She slowly turned over her own front claw and looked at it. It was still sticky from her trampled eggs. "Why?" she said softly. "Why did you take us from our homes to taunt us and hurt us and kill our babies?"

Silence fell. Even those who didn't speak dragon understood what she was asking.

At length, Harry spoke up. "It was an accident. No one was supposed to get hurt."

"Oh," was all she said. She slowly moved over to her nest, counted her remaining eggs, curled up on top of them and cried.

~oOo~

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not going to be a sad story, I promise. But one of the most wonderful things about both the Harry Potter and Ouran stories, and part of what makes them a good pairing, is the shifting tone between whimsical and dramatic.
> 
> Note on the dragons' names: I speak very little Welsh and no Magyar. I constructed the names as best I understand those languages. If I erred, I apologize.


	9. Those Who Need Saving

* * *

 

~oOo~

Harry, Ron and Hermione were only half way through breakfast when Professor McGonagall came over to the Gryffindor table. "It would appear," she said without preamble, "that the dragons from yesterday's task will not be removed for several days. Until they are, entry into the forest is strictly prohibited to all students. This will be announced in your first period classes and again at dinner, but do tell the other students."

"Yes Ma'am," the three said.

"Excuse me, Professor McGonagall," said Hermione, "why aren't you telling this to the prefects?"

"I  _have_  told the prefects," she said drily. "But in the three and a half years the three of you have been in my House, I have never noticed the words 'restricted,' 'forbidden,' or 'out-of-bounds' to have any noticeable effect on your behavior. I wanted to make sure you in particular were all clear on this point. Twenty points will be taken for each student who breaks this rule and for each incident in which it is broken. Are you clear on that?"

"Yes Ma'am," the three repeated. McGonagall left.

"Is she daft?" Ron said. "Who in his right mind would want to visit a dragon? I mean besides Hagrid."

Madame Pomfrey walked up. "Good. You're here, Mr. Potter. I need you to come to the forest with me this morning."

"But Professor McGonagall said..."

"As frustrating as it is not to be able to speak directly to my patient, not being able to speak at all would be intolerable; therefore either you or Mr. Morinozuka will have to accompany me whenever I go to check on her, which will be three times a day: morning, midday and evening or as needed."

Harry blinked. "Yes Ma'am." He stood up and looked at the others. "Turns out Snake and Dragon are dialects of the same language. Who knew?"

~oOo~

"Going to the castle for breakfast?" the Hitachiin twins said  _pro forma_ , not really waiting for a reply.

"I'm not hungry," said Mori.

"Suit yourself," they said. They started out the door but Kyoya grabbed their collars and pulled them back in.

"What? He's not hungry, we are."

Tamaki gave them  _the look_.

Honey went over and quietly sat next to his cousin and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"The dragon was hurt," Mori finally said.

Honey said nothing. He waited some more for Mori to fill the silence. And then he did. In full, unflinching detail, he told them everything that happened last night as though reliving the pain would make it worse and making it worse would make it easier to bear.

More time passed while it soaked in. At length Tamaki said gently, "Kyoya, can you find a basin large enough to wash a dragon's paw?"

Kyoya nodded.

"What for?" Hikaru said.

"Because no mother should have to wash the blood of her child off of her own hands."

When Harry and Madame Pomfrey entered the clearing, they found the seven Japanese students there, dressed entirely in somber black; Honey and Mori in formal kimonos, the others in modern wizarding robes. They bowed to the dragon respectfully. Kyoya set down a simple bowl of white jade and waved his wand over it. It grew to the size of a bathtub. " _Aguamenti_." The bowl filled with sparkling clear water. Mitsukuni touched the tip of his wand to the surface. "Orchideous." A stream of white chrysanthemums flowed in the spiral traced by his wand, and in the center, a perfect yellow rose. Kaoru slowly raised his wand, conjuring a long, thin, tapered candle, then repeated the gesture, then again and again. Four white candles, one for each of the shattered eggs. Hikaru lit them one by one. Tamaki held out his hands and reluctantly, the dragon raised her claw. He tenderly washed it and dried it on a sheet of white silk. Haruhi had no idea what happened to the eggshells and bodies of the unhatched dragons, so in lieu she folded the sheet and set it on the ground. "Incendio," she said softly. They all watched while the sheet burned to ashes, then the Fireball herself conjured a west wind and blew the ashes east towards a home these children would never know.

~oOo~

Harry and Madame Pomfrey stood respectfully to one side until the ceremony was over. At least the Hogwarts robes were black, so Harry didn't feel out of place at a memorial. He turned to see if the healer still wanted to treat her patient or come back and nearly jumped out of his skin when he discovered the Horntail right behind him. How in Merlin's name could something that big move so stealthily? "Do you always do this for your dead?" asked the dragon.

"Some variant on it," answered Harry.

"We dragons never have. But it seems to have helped her," the Quetzalcoatl came up on the other side. Harry supposed it was the accent, but he found it easiest to understand the feathered serpent's speech. They watched as the Host Club went forward in ones and twos to pay their respects with Mori translating. When they were down to the Honey and Mori, Madame Pomfrey went over to offer her condolences and check on her patient. Harry supposed with Mori there to translate, she didn't really need him and besides, he had two dragons next to him and didn't want to be rude.

As Haruhi started back towards the entrance of the clearing, the Hitachiin twins came up, one on either side. "Hey Haruhi," Hikaru said, draping one arm around her shoulder, "since we've already missed class today, what say we get an early start on the weekend and go explore the town?"

"Yeah," chimed in Kaoru, coming up on the other side, "the Gryffindors said it's the only all-wizarding village in Britain and we only got to see the tavern."

"No," said Haruhi.

"Bet you've never been in an all wizarding village before," Hikaru tempted.

"It does sound cool, but we have not missed all our classes today. It's not even lunchtime yet," Haruhi answered them.

Tamaki struck a dramatic pose, one hand splayed across his chest. "I, too, have been thinking about showing Haruhi the wonders of an all-wizarding village. But unlike this shady pair," he said, elbowing the twins out of the way, "I was planning on taking you out this evening, after class."

"No," said Haruhi.

"We can go out to a romantic dinner, just the two of us."

"No."

"And walk, hand in hand, down the moonlit village streets."

"No."

"Why not?" Tamaki wailed.

"Because I have to do homework to make up the missed classes!"

"Yeah!" said the twins, pushing Tamaki back out of the way. "You can come to our room and we can have a study group, just the three of us."

"Not a chance."

"That's right," said Tamaki. "Besides, how can you help her study if you don't know that material either? Whereas  _I_ , being a year ahead, have already had those classes.  _I_  will be your tutor." In his mind, he could see her looking up, her eyes large in gratitude.  _Thank you Tamaki-senpai for sharing your wisdom with me._

"No way in hell, Senpai," she said, shattering his daydream.

The Quetzalcoatl cocked her head to one side. "Are they bothering her?"

"Well...yes and no..." said Harry. "They're flirting with her."

"Flirting?"

"They like her. As a girl."

"As a potential mate?" the Quetzalcoatl said.

"Maybe eventually. That's what they're trying to find out."

"Does she like them?"

Harry watched the four of them. "She's not saying yes to any of them, but she's really not saying no either."

"But the-one-who-speaks-well likes her too."

Harry thought back to the Quidditch game. "I think all of those guys like her."

"Hmmm." The Quetzalcoatl's feathers went flat against her head.

~oOo~

Harry finally made it back to class three quarters of the way through Care of Magical Creatures. "Skiving off to avoid taking care of the skrewts?" said Malfoy as he narrowly dodged another fire blast. He may have been the only one who said it, but from the looks on their faces, he wasn't the only one who suspected it. "Teacher, I think Harry should have to do skrewt duty over the weekend to make up for the missed lesson," Pansy added. Harry didn't care what Malfoy thought, but he did feel bad when Hagrid got a stricken look like he was afraid Malfoy was right.

"If you must know, I was at a funeral for the Chinese Fireball's eggs."

"You went to a funeral for eggs?" Malfoy looked disbelieving.

"They were her babies, Malfoy. And four of them died yesterday." He couldn't believe the rage he felt at Malfoy's insensitivity. Some small, reasonable corner of his brain reminded him that 24 hours ago, the thought would not have occurred to him either, but somehow Malfoy never made him feel reasonable. He looked away to try to get hold of his temper, but his eyes landed on Hagrid's stricken face.

"I din' know dragons had funerals. We coulda come."

"They don't usually," Harry consoled him. "She was just so sad that the Ouran guys thought it might help."

"The Ouran guys?" Lavender and Parvati said. "We should have gone."

~oOo~

Back in the clearing, the dragons fretted while the Quetzalcoatl paced back and forth. "This is unacceptable," she said. "The one-who-speaks-well likes her. We cannot let another one win her favor."

"What are we going to do?" the Short Snout asked plaintively.

"Promising not to kill anyone was clearly a mistake," the Horntail said.

"Look, all we have to do is show the female that the one-who-speaks-well is the better mate," the Fireball said practically.

"But we don't know what humans look for in a mate," the Quetzalcoatl answered.

"Then ask the one raised by snakes. They're his own kind. He must know."

"But he went back into the den with all the other humans. His scent will be hard to track," said the Short Snout.

The others all looked at her.

"Your nose is too short," said the Horntail.

"Long noses get frost bite," the blue dragon said defensively.

The dragons sniffed. "I got it!" said the green excitedly. "I'll go get him!"

"Wait! We aren't supposed to leave the forest!" But it was too late. Arianawel was already gone.

.

Harry shook his scalded hand wondering if he could get some of that purple burn potion from Madame Pomfrey next time he saw her. He had initially felt bad that he had missed so much of Hagrid's class; Hagrid truly wanted all his students to enjoy his class but even the Gryffindors, who adored Hagrid, were having a hard time pretending to like the screwts. So even the hint that Harry had cut the class hurt Hagrid's feelings. To make matters worse, even those who sided with Harry were happy to let him make up for lost class time by taking care of the screwts all by himself. They were tired of getting burned, bit and stung. As Harry barely dodged another blast, he heard Malfoy say "Move faster Potter. I've got twenty sickles that say you'll live through class."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "You're betting on Harry to live?" she asked, wondering what the catch was.

"Of course," Malfoy smirked. "I win either way."

~oOo~

The Welsh Green crouched low to the ground, stalking on the apron of the manicured lawns. She wasn't supposed to leave the forest but if your tail could still touch the trees, was that really out of the forest? But just to be sure she avoided detection, she circled round so she came up downwind of where the flock of fledgling wizards and their large furry instructor were circled around something that smelled revolting, like venom and sulfur and rot. Finally locating her quarry, she snuck up behind him. "Pssst." (Rough Parseltongue translation: "Hey you.")

Harry yelped and spun around to face the dragon. "What are you doing here?"

The other students all backed away from the dragon. To his credit, Hagrid stood firm between the students and the dragon, although that may have been partly because he still couldn't quite see dragons as truly dangerous, despite have watched several students nearly get mauled by them.

The screwt Harry had been attempting to walk saw his back turned and charged, scorpion-like tail raised to strike. Arianawel batted it back into another one, which promptly stung it. The first one stung back and the two began viciously attacking each other. Then, because it seemed like a good idea to their nasty little brains, all the screwts joined in, attempting to kill each other. It was like Christmas come early for the students. Maybe the monsters would all kill each other and the class could move on to something more interesting.

"What  _are_  those things?" Arianawel asked.

"Blast-ended screwts," answered Harry.

"And what are you trying to do with them?"

"Keep them alive."

" _Why_?"

"I honestly couldn't tell you," said Harry. "What are you doing here?"

"We need your help." The Green wrapped her front claw around Harry's chest and started to carry him off.

"Wait! I'm in the middle of class! Hagrid!" But his teacher was so busy trying to figure out how to stop the screwt fight, he just waived Harry off.

"Ok," Hagrid shouted. "Everyone wade in there and grab a leash. We'll pull them apart!"

The students took one look at the melee of stingers and fireblasts and pincer-like fangs and stayed where they were. The second class was over, they immediately left.

"That had to be the best class ever," said Malfoy. "Half the screwts killed each other and we got to hear Potter squeal as he got carried off by a dragon."

"He didn't squeal when the dragon carried him off!" Ron said hotly.

"He's right," Millicent said. "He squealed when the dragon came up,  _then_  he got carried off."

"You mean it wasn't 'Aaggghhh,'" Malfoy said as he jumped to the side, mimicking being dragged off, "but more like 'Aagghh.'" He stood in place for a second and then jumped to the side.

"Much more like the second one," Vincent said.

"Thanks Weasley," Malfoy said. "I'd hate to remember Potter's last minutes wrong."

The Slytherins all laughed as they walked off.

"That didn't help, Ron," Hermione said.

Neville looked towards the forest. "Do you think we should go after him?"

Dean followed his gaze. "McGonagall said 20 points for breaking the rules. There's five of us. That's 100 points from Gryffindor."

"A hundred twenty," Hermione corrected. "Harry's in there too."

"Only if they find out..." Seamus said hopefully.

"The Slytherins know," Ron said. "They'll find out. But Harry would do it for us."

"A hundred and twenty points. Gryffindor House is going to kill us."

~oOo~

The Welsh Green deposited Harry in the middle of the makeshift nesting ground. The dragons all immediately surrounded Harry. "How do humans mate?"

"Um..." Harry blinked. He'd expected a medical crisis, a misunderstanding with the handlers, something. But absolutely not this.

"I know you're young but you must know. Courting rituals. How do you select your mates?" the Horntail said impatiently.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, courting rituals. Um, usually you take the girl on a date to see if you ... um ... suit each other."

The Fireball looked around. "But there are no date trees here. Is that to prevent premature mating?"

"No, it means you pick a date and time and agree to spend that time together."

"Doing what?"

"Well, that depends on the two involved."

"The one-who-speaks-well likes the female who came for my egg," the Quetzalcoatl said. "But you said there are other males who like her as well."

The Horntail grimaced. "She seems very small. You'd think they would prefer a larger female who can lay more eggs."

"We usually only bear one at a time. And she's very smart, and kind. And interesting and fun but sensible," he said thinking about how she went along with the Quidditch game and the bet, but worried about the jinx. "And she looks at the person you are and is not distracted by your fame or the size of your hoard..." which was really, really rare. Oh God, was he starting to develop a crush on her too?

"Hoard?" the Short Snout perked up. "Does he need a hoard? How big is his hoard?"

"I actually don't know," Harry said. "You'd have to ask him."

"Back to topic, what happens on a successful date-and-time?"

"Oh, um, well, both of them will clean themselves up and put on nice, um, plumage," he said looking at the Quetzalcoatl.

"His coloring isn't very bright," the feathered serpent said worriedly.

"No, it's fine," Harry assured her. "Males tend towards more subdued colors. It's usually the females who wear the brightest colors."

"The males must hunt at night," the Horntail reasoned. "He moved well. Not a lot of wasted energy. He's probably a good hunter."

Harry didn't know how to explain that most wizards didn't have to hunt for their own food so he went on. "Anyway, then they go do something together like wander around or eat together. Eating is always a safe first date."

"Hm," the Welsh Green, "yes, wandering around won't help since this isn't his territory he'd be showing her but eating makes sense. She'll want to know he can feed her when she's nesting and can't hunt very much for herself."

"Uh, yeah, something like that," Harry said.

"Why don't we just have the date-and-time here?" said the Short Snout. "We can breathe fire onto our eggs. The radiant heat should make it warm enough."

"I can keep away the wind and rain," said the Fireball. "Unless you think a slightly chill breeze would make her curl up next to him?"

"And I know several love songs," the Welsh Green volunteered.

"I'm not sure dragon love songs..." Harry started, but the dragons were no longer listening.

"Back home, people use my feathers as love talismans," the Quetzalcoatl added. "I can make them a little nest or they can just curl up next to me."

"I'll keep the other humans away," offered the Horntail.

"Just don't fry anybody," Harry put in quickly. "Killing his rivals will not make her happy."

The Horntail grumbled, but let it go.

~oOo~

The Gryffindor Five Rescue Team paused halfway between the entrance to forest and the clearing. Dean and Seamus were thrilled to finally be included in one of the trio's wild adventures. "OK," said Dean. "What's the plan?"

"Rescue Harry," Ron said as though that were self-evident.

"OK yeah, but how?" Shamus said. "There are five dragons and five of us."

Seamus and Dean looked at each other as if they both just realized the odds. Where they always this bad? The traps around the Philosopher's Stone, a basilisk, a psychotic killer pursued by a horde of dementors. May the trio wasn't so much brave as crazy. On the other hand, if they lived, this could be an awesome story.

"We could stun them, maybe," Dean said.

Hermione tried not to roll her eyes. Honestly, did none of these guys ever read? "It takes a dozen trained wizards to stun an adult dragon. We'll have to think of something else."

"Harry outraced it with his broom," Ron floated the idea.

Seamus gave him a withering look. "One: Harry has a Fireball, the fastest broom made. There's no way my old Comet can beat a dragon. And two: Harry's a better flyer than anybody here."

Neville breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He'd probably fall off a broom and die on the first pass. A quick glance at Hermione showed she suspected the same might happen to her. "If we slip them a mixture of valerian, chamomile and lavender, that should put them to sleep, magic resistance or no."

They all looked at Neville intently. "Do you have those things?"

"Well, not on me," Neville admitted.

"We could try Cedric's strategy and distract it," Seamus said.

They all looked at Hermione. She was by far the best one there at transfigurations and charms. "I don't know they'll fall for it twice," she said doubtfully.

"Live bait then?" Ron said, wincing.

There was a silence.

"Maybe we should see how much trouble Harry is actually in," Neville said. They all looked relieved at the sensible suggestion. They crept forwards.

.

"There are humans sneaking up on us," said the Quetzalcoatl.

"Is it the bad humans?" said the Horntail. She unsheathed her claws and the scales along her spine rippled.

The Fireball looked around nervously. "Are our eggs all right?" Still blind on one side, she turned her head towards her nest. Harry could feel the wind starting to pick up.

"Before we attack them, we should find out who they are and what they want," Harry temporized. The dragons seemed comfortable around him and Mori and Madame Pomfrey, but they weren't sold on anyone else. "It's probably just Hagrid checking on you because he really loves dragons. He even adopted an egg once and made sure it hatched ok."  _Please let it be Hagrid,_  he thought.

"I'll go check," said the Green, and she zipped away again.

.

The Gryffindors crouched low on the ground and peered through the underbrush. It didn't look good. Harry was surrounded. A casual glance might have said they were chatting in a circle, but the Quetzalcoatl's tail wrapped around behind Harry, blocking any escape. Ron squinted. "Weren't there five dragons?"

Hot, vaguely sulphur smelling air warmed the back of their necks. They turned to find the enormous head of the green dragon inches away. She reared back on her hind legs and let out a terrifying bellow.

.

"It's alright, it's just the fledgings." One of them started to scamper away so she scooped him up in her claw and deposited his back with his fellows, then wrapped her wings around the whole clutch in case one of the others decided to go exploring too. She leaned in to her little tent. "You shouldn't wander off," she scolded in a parental tone. "This forest is dangerous."

.

Dean's brain never engaged; his legs just took off running. The dragon snatched him like Harry grabbing a snitch, then dropped him in with the others so close together, she could gobble them up in a single bite. She closed her wings around them, ending any chance of escape then made a hungry growl. They closed their eyes so they wouldn't see the end coming. "If I ever made any of you mad, I'm sorry," said Ron.

"Me too," said Neville.

"What are you guys doing?" said Harry.

They opened their eyes. Harry and the dragons were giving them a puzzled look.

"Rescuing you?" said Ron.

Harry translated.

"Seriously?" said the Horntail. "You're with five dragons. What could possibly harm you?"

~oOo~

* * *

 


	10. Fledgling Romance

* * *

 

~oOo~

"I could not have made myself any more clear!" McGonagall glared at the fourth years crammed into her office. "Much as is pains me to do this, one hundred twenty points from Gryffindor."

"That's not fair!" said Ron. "Harry didn't choose to go. He was kidnapped."

McGonagall arched an eyebrow. "Very well. Mr. Potter may have his twenty points back.  _But fifty points from Gryffindor for sheer stupidity!_  If you genuinely believed Mr. Potter was in danger, how is it not one of you thought to get a teacher?"

They all made a detailed study of their shoes.

McGonagall gave an exasperated sigh. "Very well then, off to your afternoon classes. And do try to earn back a few of those lost points. I've grown rather fond of the way the house cup looks in my office." The fourth years rose. "Mr. Potter, a word before you go."

Harry sat back down and waited for the others to leave. The moment the door closed he jumped in. "Professor, I didn't ask for the dragon to grab me. It's just they have questions about humans and there's a limited number of people they can ask."

McGonagall grimaced. "I believe you. While you have a complete disregard for rules, I have never known you to seek attention. However, this is exactly the sort of incident that draws attention. By now, every student at Hogwarts will know about it, which means that by tomorrow night, people outside Hogwarts will know too. In order to prevent unnecessary worry, may I suggest you write to your family to assure them you safe and unharmed?"

Harry looked at her, puzzled. "Honestly, I don't think the Dursleys would care if I were attacked by dragons."

McGonagall tried very hard not to roll her eyes. "Remind me again why you're not in Ravenclaw...? Now get out, Potter."

It wasn't until later that evening when Harry was heading into the forest with Madame Pomfrey that it hit him. " _Oh my God, she meant Sirius!_ " If his godfather had returned to Britain when he'd been entered into the tournament, he might break cover and come to Hogwarts if he thought Harry was in danger from dragons. Harry resolved to write to Sirius as soon as he returned to the common room.

~oOo~

The clearing was packed. Madame Pomfrey was there because she was the healer. The Fireball was there because she was the patient. Harry was there because he was the official translator. Mori had come as well; the tall kid just radiated calm. Also, he was the backup translator in case Harry's snake-accented dragon proved confusing (the dragons said he was still talking funny despite that the Horntail corrected his pronunciation  _every single time_ ). The dragon handlers were there in case Madame Pomfrey's healing spells hadn't worked properly and the dragons took it badly. The other dragons were there, more curious than protective, but the presence of all the handlers did make them a little edgy. And Hagrid was there because, well, dragons. "When did healing become a spectator event?" Madame Pomfrey grumbled. "Alright. I waited until after sunset so the light won't be too bright, but it still might surprise her."

Harry translated.

"'Surprise,' not 'surprissss,'" the Horntail corrected.

Harry repeated the word in the more dragonish accent.

Madame Pomfrey lifted the sphere of darkness and gently unwound the bedsheets that bandaged the dragon's face. Scales were just starting to grow in over the raw pink flesh. The Fireball blinked a couple times. "It's blurry," the dragon said.

"Hm." The Hogwarts Matron leaned in. "Lumos." She looked carefully at the newly restored eye, then crawled over the red dragon's nose and looked into the existing eye, then back into the new one. She dimmed the light from her wand, then waived it over the new eye, subtly changing its shape. "Now?"

The dragon's head jerked back suddenly seeing how very many humans were in the clearing. "Yes."

"But how well does it work? Ask her what colors I'm wearing. Do dragons see color?" She added as an afterthought.

Harry translated.

"Day clouds and ripe pomegranates," the Fireball answered.

"Her color vision is good," Harry said, thinking how woefully unpoetic English could sometimes be.

"Acuity? I guess we can't ask her to read an eye chart," the healer said.

Mori rumbled something and the Chinese dragon reared up and spat its namesake fireball at a tree a hundred yards distant, causing it to burst into flame. The wizards pulled at their wands at the unexpected act of aggression and prepared to counter attack. "Her aim is fine," Mori said practically.

"You know," Charley Weasley said, "you've been pretty good about warning the dragons what's coming, but do you  _think_  you could give us the same courtesy?"

"Hn," Mori nodded in acknowledgment.

The dragon handlers rushed over to extinguish the tree before it could start a forest fire.

The Fireball rubbed the side of her head against the healer much as the Quetzalcoatl had done to Mori. The she made a peculiar undulating motion and lowered her head to Madame Pomfrey's knees. The other dragons encircled her and all followed suit. "Mr. Potter?"

Harry was at a loss.

"Their heads are lower than yours. They are honoring you," Mori supplied.

"Indeed," she replied. "It is unnecessary." But it was clear she was touched. She reached out and laid her hand upon the Fireball's nose. "She has been a better and more grateful patient than most of my human charges."

"Does that mean you are finished with her?" Charley Weasley asked.

"I should like to keep an eye on her for another twenty-four hours, but you may remove them day after tomorrow." She petted the dragon then left before she did something stupid like invite them to stay.

Harry was supposed to go with her and had even turned when he saw the Quetzalcoatl wind over to Mori. In a low, displeased voice it said, "The one-who-speaks-poorly said there are other males trying to steal your mate, but if you take her on a date-and-time and show her you are a skilled hunter and bring her your kill, you might convince her you were a better choice."

Mori gave Harry a very strange look. "I said take her on a dinner date," Harry defended himself.

The dragons looked around conspiratorially. "We know this is not your territory, but there are a large number of acromantula in these woods. No one would notice if you took a few."

"I'm not sure she'd like the taste of spider," Harry tried to squelch the suggestion.

"Hmp," said the Green. "Regardless, you have too many. They will overrun the forest and then your den. I'm surprised they haven't tried already."

Harry nodded sideways. "Until recently we had a basilisk."

The dragons looked at him like he was crazy. "Why would you keep one of those? They're psychotic and dangerous."

"It was asleep in the lower levels. No one knew it was there."

The Short Snout looked at him in all seriousness. "Then you should clean out your den more often."

"And get rid of them," added the Horntail.

"Any idea how?" Harry very much wanted to know.

The dragons thought about it. "Get a cockatrice. Giant spiders are their favorite food."

Harry wondered if Hagrid would be upset at his onetime pets being food. On the other hand, it would be bringing in another large, vicious creature. He might be all in favor of it. "I'll suggest it."

"It's settled then," said the Horntail. "Arianawel will get a cockatrice for the one-raised-by-snakes and you will bring your mate here and present her with food that is not spiders, and we will keep the other males away."

Mori gave Harry another scathing look. "Their idea, not mine," said Harry. Mori looked at the dragons. They all nodded avidly, pleased by their own cleverness.

.

Harry and Mori parted ways on the lawn, the Ouran student taking the stairs to his floating palace, Harry heading across to the castle. Snape was waiting for him by the door. He gave Harry an unpleasant smile. "An evening stroll in the forest, Mr. Potter? Twenty points from Gryffindor."

"I was helping Madame Pomfrey."

"Who returned to the castle some time ago. Ten more points for misrepresenting the facts."

Harry bit back his retort. Thirty lost points was enough for one night. He didn't need a detention on top of it. He nodded and trudged towards Gryffindor Tower. As he approached the Great Hall, a fourth year Hufflepuff girl was waiting by the hallway that led towards their common room. "Hi Harry!" she said brightly.

"Hi," he answered dully.

"So, I was thinking," she went on nervously, "Christmas day is coming up quickly and I was wondering if you might like to go with me."

Harry looked at her like she was off her rocker. "Uh, no thanks." He barely knew her. If he was going to spend Christmas with anybody, it would be with his close friends.

"Well you don't have to be rude about it!" She flounced off.

He turned back towards the Great Hall only to find McGonagall by the door. "Potter," she said.

"Professor Snape already docked me the points for being in the forest after Madame Pomfrey left."

"Yes, I know," she said, looking at the hourglass of rubies that was currently noticeably lower than any of the other three. "But what I wanted to speak to you about was your conversation with Miss Jones just now."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to be rude, but I don't know why she would be asking me to spend Christmas with her when I barely know her."

McGonagall grimaced. "She wasn't asking you to spend Christmas together, she was asking you to go to the Yule Ball."

"The what?"

"Didn't you bother to do any research into this tournament? The Yule Ball is a traditional event, a formal ball held on Christmas Day. Fourth years and above are invited."

"But I don't know how to dance, so I'll probably just skip it."

"You cannot skip it. The Champions open the Ball with the first dance."

"But I don't know how to dance," Harry repeated.

"That's why I'm telling you now, so we can arrange dance classes." Seeing Harry's panic-stricken face, she added, "find yourself a partner and I will give you lessons, or if you prefer, I can set up a class for any in Gryffindor House who would like to learn."

"The latter please," Harry said fervently.

"Very well, but you will still have to ask a young lady to go with you."

Harry got back to the common room and immediately grabbed Ron. "Did you know there's a ball? Like a formal dance?"

"I don't dance," said Ron.

"Neither do I," said Harry.

"Then let's just skip it."

"McGonagall says I can't."

"How many points d'you reckon they'd dock?"

"More than Gryffindor has."

They contemplated their misfortune for a while. "Who d'you think you're gonna ask?" said Ron.

Harry thought about it. His first choice would actually be Haruhi. The plain-spoken, unpretentious Ouran student not only knew exactly what he was going through, she never made him feel awkward or weird. But everybody thought she was a boy, so she'd have to break cover to go with him. Also, Harry wasn't sure the Horntail wouldn't use it as an excuse to come back and fry him. He thought some more. "I really have no idea who I could get to go with me."

Fay Dunbar walked over and smiled at Harry. "Did I hear you guys talking about the Yule Ball?"

"Yeah," said Ron. "We're trying to figure out who to go with."

"Really?" She sat down on the arm of Harry's chair and looked at him with those striking blue eyes. "I can't imagine a great looking guy like you would have any trouble finding a date, Harry."

"I could go with Cho Chang, maybe," Harry said. "She's smart and pretty."

"And she's a seeker," added Ron, "so you'll have something to talk about."

"Yeah," said Harry. This idea was sounding better and better. "Yeah, maybe I'll ask Cho."

"Well excuse me!" Fay shoved Harry off the chair then stalked across the room.

"What got into her?" Harry said from the floor.

"Dunno," said Ron, equally mystified.

~oOo~

The next morning, Hermione sat in the library, looking out the window at the floating pink palace. She had originally planned on finishing her charms homework in the morning and going to the Host Club tea in the afternoon. Lavender and Parvati had been going on and on about the last one and Hermione was hoping to request the table with the black-haired boy who could do math. It was so refreshing to meet a wizard who actually  _thought_. But right now, the library was almost empty, it was just her and Krum. All the giggling girls who normally attached themselves to him had taken the day off to go bother the Host Club. The foreign students were going to be here for the rest of the year, maybe she would wait until next tea. She could actually get some work done. Except that apparently she couldn't. A shadow fell across her books.

Viktor Krum stood there, his hands clasped tightly in front of him, nervously squeezing each other. "You are Hermy-own-ninny?"

"Yes," she answered a little suspiciously.

"You are not like the other girls, always noisy and following me."

"Sorry to disappoint."

Krum apparently missed the sarcasm. "No, it is a relief. They are ..." he searched for the English word... "annoying. They just vish to be vith someone famous. I see you vith Harry Potter. He is famous too, but you do not expect things from him. You helped him."

"Well someone had to," Hermione said.

"You are his true friend. He is lucky to have you."

"Thank you," she said.

The way he wrung his hands made it clear that he wished he had a friend. It suddenly occurred to her that those Ouran students were always together, Cedric had the Hufflepuffs, Harry had her and Ron, but Krum was always alone except for his admirers. The most famous Quidditch player in the world was lonely. "Vould you be my friend too?"

"As long as you don't mind a friend who reads and studies all the time." She waived her hand over her books.

"I vant to be more than just a seeker." He accepted her invitation and sat down.

She was just putting the finishing touches on her charms homework when she looked up and saw him watching her.

"Vould you go to the Yule Ball vith me? It vould be nice to be vith a date who is a friend and smart as vell as beautiful."

Hermione couldn't help herself. She smiled. "I would be honored to go with you."

Viktor wasn't sure what to say. He thought back to the first night he was at Hogwarts and pulled out his wand and waived it over his quill. " _Evfloresce_." It transfigured into a rose. Sort of. It was solid white, except that the stem turned clear towards the base, there was a smudge of ink at the tip and the leaves and petals were still feathers. He grimaced at his inability to copy the Ouran spell. "I vill buy you real flowers before the ball," he apologized. "Vhat kind do you like?"

Hermione smiled. "As it happens, I like feathery roses." She tucked the quill-turned-bloom into her Charms book as a bookmark and closed it proprietarily before pulling out her Arithmancy book.

~oOo~

" 'Ave you given thought to ze Yule Ball?" The pretty Beauxbatons girl looked down at her coffee cup and blushed at her own daring.

Tamaki leaned over and raised her chin with a single finger. "With so many lovely young ladies, I don't know how I shall be able to choose just one."

The girls all squealed and bit their fingers.

.

Two tables over, Padma put her hand on Kaoru's sleeve. At least she was about 70% sure it was Kaoru's. "Is your arm healed now?"

"It is, thank you."

"You ladies should have seen him," Hikaru added. "That night, after the game, he broke down and cried from the pain."

"Hikaru! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!"

"I'm sorry, brother. It was just so touching seeing your sensitive side come out."

The Patel twins' heads tilted to one side to the exact same degree. "I love a man with a sensitive side," whispered Padma.

.

Ginny gave Haruhi smile. "I think you were very brave facing that dragon."

"I wasn't brave at all," Haruhi replied. "I panicked. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't been for Mori-senpai."

They looked over at Mori. His table was packed with girls silently admiring him. "More tea?" he asked. They all nodded in unison.

Ginny turned her attention back to Haruhi. "Did you know he could speak to dragons?"

"No," Haruhi said, "but I shouldn't have been surprised. He can talk to most animals and they all seem to love him."

"I wouldn't put money on the screwts," Fiona muttered.

"I still think you're brave," said Ginny. "I couldn't have walked into that arena at all."

"I didn't have much time to think about it. Whereas I now have a month to worry about the Yule Ball and two to worry about that egg puzzle."

"Why are you worried about the ball?"

"I don't actually dance very well, at least if I have to lead," Haruhi confessed.

"I could practice with you," Ginny offered. Then it dawned on her what she said and she became flustered. "I mean, just practice. I'm not hinting that... I mean I'm only a third year. We can't even go unless a fourth year or older invites us. Not that I'm hinting cause that would be, well, you know...not that I wouldn't like to... but ..."

"Ginny, shut up," Fiona rescued her.

"Thanks, I will."

Haruhi gave that easy, natural smile. "Actually, a practice partner would be really nice. And if we're going to practice together, we may as well dance together. Would you be my date for the Yule Ball?"

.

Out on the lawn after the Host Club was over, Ginny and Fiona looked at each other, eyes dancing, lips twitching. "Squeeeeeeee!" they both cried.

"Oh my God! I can't believe he asked me!" Ginny said.

"And a Tri-Wizard Champion! You'll be the envy of the school!"

Across the yard, Neville watched the girls giggle and jump up and down. They really were cute. He took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Hi Ginny."

Both girls gave him an impromptu hug.

"Oh, um, so, um, there's a Yule Ball this year and, um, I was wondering if you might, um..."

"Oh I'm so sorry, Neville, I just accepted an invitation from someone else."

"Oh," he glanced nervously away, his eyes landing on Fiona.

"Can't," she said regretfully. "It's my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary and we're having a big family reunion. I won't be able to stay for the holidays."

"That's ok," Neville tried not to sound disappointed.

"But you know who doesn't have a date," said Fiona.

"She'd be perfect for him," Ginny concurred.

"Who?" Neville trying not to look too confused.

"Luna Lovegood," said Ginny. "She's a Ravenclaw in our year and she's smart and sweet..."

"And she's got long blond hair that Fleur Delacour should envy," added Fiona.

"I don't know..." started Neville.

"We'll introduce you!" The girls each grabbed one arm and dragged him off.

They found Luna by the gardens outside the greenhouses, kneeling before the shrubbery. "What are you doing?" they asked.

"Looking for fluttersprites," she answered. "They nest in the autumn leaves you know."

"Er, no, I didn't know that," said Fiona.

"What are fluttersprites?" Neville asked.

Fiona and Ginny gave each other a glance. If Neville was going to ask sensible questions, this might not work.

"They have wings like a butterfly and a body like a garden fairy and long curly antennae," Luna said. "They haven't been seen in many years and some people say they were just a muggle myth but there's too much evidence to simply dismiss them."

"Yeah, anyway, we wanted to introduce you to Neville Longbottom," said Ginny.

"He's a Gryffindor fourth year and he needs a date to the Ball," said Fiona. Neville winced but the girls ploughed ahead.

"He's really smart and well read," said Ginny.

"And he's kind and considerate," said Fiona.

"And he actually listens when you talk."

"And he's not stuck in himself the way a lot of guys are."

"And he was raised to be a gentleman."

"He probably even knows how to dance..." the girls stopping singing his praises for a moment and looked at him.

"Yes I do," Neville confirmed. "My Gran made me take lessons." Suddenly all the tedious dance classes seemed like they might not have been a waste of his childhood after all.

"So will you go with him?" Ginny asked.

Luna gave him a dreamy smile. "That would be lovely," she said. "Do you want to help me look for fluttersprites?"

"Um, sure," Neville said, figuring he might want to get to know her if he was taking her to a dance. "'Autumn leaves' is a very vague term. Do you know which plants they preferred? Maybe we can find some of those."

As Ginny and Fiona snuck away, Fiona whispered "It would almost be worth skipping the reunion just to see how those two come out."

~oOo~

Charley Weasley came on duty. In the last couple days, his job had changed completely. They'd gone from needing fifty wands-at-the-ready dragon handlers to a scant ten who spent most of the time drinking pumpkin juice or coffee. Now that they could talk to them, the dragons had gone from fearsome monsters to kind of overgrown dogs, who could, you know, level Hogwarts and fry everybody inside if they changed their minds. Fortunately, they regarded Madame Pomfrey with awe and treated Harry and Mori as adopted children. But they mostly behaved themselves and stayed in their grotto. Except when they kidnapped Harry from class. But apparently they had a question they thought was very important, and he was outside. Maybe cats were a better analogy, since they did what they wanted and bestowed their friendship like granting an honor. And when a group of students wandered into the forest, the dragons rounded them up like a herd of sheep and delivered them safely back to the castle, terrified but unharmed. Although in fairness, their terror may have been at McGonagall's expression more than the dragons. Even as a grown adult, that look would have done him in.

Both Charley and Hagrid had asked Harry to teach them Draco-tongue but apart from a handful of words, neither one of them could get the hang of it. Was he going to be reduced to placing an ad in the Daily Prophet?  _Wanted: Dragon Handler/Researcher. Draco-mouth or Parsel-mouth preferred._  Oh yeah. That would definitely attract the right sort... He shook his head. "Anything I should know about?" he asked Diego, head of the previous shift.

"Thank Merlin you're here," Diego said. "There's something going on with the dragons."

"What is it?" Charley said, alarmed.

"We don't know," Ji said, coming up. "They have all rearranged their eggs, the Short Snout has been pacing up and down all afternoon, the Fireball has been experimenting as if to see how the wind moves through the trees, and the Quetzalcoatl dug a redoubt around her nest and lined it with her own feathers."

"Dibs on those, by the way, if she leaves them," Diego said.

"Why?" Charley asked.

"What, are you kidding me?" the Costa Rican answered. "Ten galleons apiece. Fifteen if they're fresh. Just wearing them makes you more appealing to the opposite sex and a love potion stirred with a Quetzalcoatl feather never fails."

"Like the Latin lover needs help with the ladies," Ji said sourly.

"If she's feathering a nest, does that mean somebody's about to hatch?" Charley asked.

"Shouldn't be," Diego said. "The Fireball was the closest and as we saw the other day, they're not that close."

"We thought they might settle down when the Mori kid showed up but he just dropped off a box and left."

"What was in the box?"

"We don't know. I thought the Horntail was going to skewer Ji when he went to look."

Charley looked at Ji, who shook his head. "No idea. There some kind of preservation spell or time stop on it. But the Quetzalcoatl is acting like it's treasure."

"Why would you put a time stop on treasure?" Charley said to himself. "Do we need to call in Harry or Mori?"

Diego gritted his teeth. "I have been the world's foremost authority on Quetzalcoatl for ten years. Do you have any idea how galling it is to have to ask a fourteen-year-old what's going on?"

Charley sighed is shared frustration. "All right, let me try." He walked over towards the clearing. The Horntail gave him a thoroughly nasty look. Charley bowed in respect the way Harry had shown him and said "What want need?"

The Horntail lowered her head then shoved Charley back about twenty feet. "I could use more of an answer than that," he mumbled to himself in English. He stepped forward slowly, arms open.

The Horntail unsheathed a wicked looking claw, pointedly stuck it in the ground, drew a line between them and sat down on her side. Then to emphasize the point, inhaled and flamed the line itself. Charley bowed and left.

"They don't want us in the grotto tonight," Charley told the others.

"Why?" Ji said.

"How the hell would I know? I have a fifty word vocabulary. It's not like I can hold a meaningful conversation."

~oOo~

Ron dropped into one of the large red leather chairs in the Gryffindor Common Room next to the one Harry occupied and threw a sour look at the girls all clustered around to the latest edition of  _Witch Weekly_  (cover articles: Witch Wardobes, fashion for the holidays; 10 Reasons Why you should never spell your own hair; The Tragic Case of Gilderoy Lockhart). "Ask anyone yet?" Harry said.

"No, but there's no rush. We still have a couple weeks, right?" said Ron.

"Wrong," said Hermione, barely looking up from her transfiguration homework. "Everyone who wants to stay at Hogwarts over the holidays has to submit their names this week. If they don't have a date, they probably won't stick around."

"Eloise Midgeon doesn't have a date yet," suggested Ginny as she flipped the pages on the magazine.

"The girl who blasted her nose off trying to get rid of her acne? No thanks," said Ron.

"Madame Pomfrey put her nose back on and for your information, she is a really nice girl," Ginny said.

"You'd be lucky to get a girl as nice as her," Hermione added.

"Pass," said Ron. "Hey, are you sticking around?"

"Yes," said Hermione.

"Whew," Ron said relieved.

"What do you mean 'Whew?'"

"Well that way you can be our backup date in case we can't get one," Ron said.

If Hermione could have shot a killing curse out of her eyes, Ron would be very dead right now, thought Harry. "He didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"Oh didn't he? Well don't count on me being your backup date, Ronald Weasley. I wouldn't go with you even if I didn't already have a date. Which I do!" Hermione snapped her books shut, stacked them with a thump then picked them up and stomped out of the room.

Everyone in the room stared at Ron. Fred came over and draped his arm around Harry. "And that, Harry-my-boy, is what you  _don't_  say to a girl when you are asking her out."

Ginny looked at Ron severely. "You owe her an apology."

"Oh come on, you know she doesn't really have a date," Ron said. Then he added in an undertone to Harry, "You don't really think she has a date, do you?"

Harry shrugged noncommittally, unwilling to get into the middle of this one.

~oOo~

The Host Club assembled in the foyer of their palace. "Are we ready to go down to dinner?" Tamaki said looking around. "Where are Haruhi and Mori-senpai?"

"They already went to dinner," Kyoya answered.

Tamaki looked confused. "Is Hogwarts serving dinner early tonight?"

"Not exactly," Kyoya said.

"Takashi took Haruh-chan on a date!" Honey piped up.

"A date?" The color drained out of Tamaki's face.

"You know, like when you take a girl out to dinner because you like her?" Hikaru said.

"Like her?" Tamaki repeated.

"The dragons thought they'd be a super cute couple!" Honey beamed.

"Couple?  _Couple?_ " Tamaki exploded. "How could you let this happen? What were you thinking? Haruhi is too young to date!"

"She's sixteen, boss."

"Precisely!" Tamaki shouted. "Far too young to be unchaperoned."

"They're not unchaperoned, there are five dragons watching them," said Honey, then added thoughtfully, "Of course, the dragons do think they should mate..."

Tamaki crumbled away into a pile of dust.

"Perhaps that was a bit much to spring on him all at once," Kyoya said. "Sweep him up. He won't be functional until we check on them."

~oOo~

As Mori and Haruhi approached the forest, he said "You should probably know that while the dragons know we are too young to marry, they want to give us a romantic evening."

Haruhi thought about it. "What constitutes a romantic evening for a dragon?"

Mori shook his head. He had no idea.

When they arrived in the clearing the dragons were all bunched up waiting for them, almost twitchy with excitement. They sniffed her to make sure he brought the right female (he had), not that they expected anything different. The-one-who-speaks-well was far more intelligent than most of his kind. They then showed her each of their nests. Haruhi seemed to realize they were doing her great honor and trust, and so complimented the dragons on the eggs, their size, number and color, from the rich red-brown of the Fireball's to the speckled Welsh Green's. _The dragons were right,_  thought Mori.  _Haruhi was calm, centered and not rattled at all. She would make a good mate for all the right reasons. If only she knew._

While looking at the Short Snout's ice-white eggs, the green dragon put her head next to Haruhi then pushed her over into Mori. He put an arm around her to steady her. Arianawel hummed smugly.

Haruhi looked at Mori, clearly  _thinking this is a dragon version of romance?_  "Why do they think we're a couple?" she whispered.

"I put myself between you and a rampaging dragon. Since our age differences are not great enough for us to be parent and child, they concluded I must be in love with you."

"Did you correct them?" she asked.

"About what?" he said.

.

They finished the tour at the Quetzalcoatl's nest with those spectacular brilliant blue eggs, definitely Haruhi's favorites, though she'd never offend the others by saying so. Next to the nest was a flat topped stone with the gold box Mori had brought earlier sitting on it; beside that, the feathered dragon had dug a small ditch, piled up the dirt and rocks next to it, patted it tight, then overlaid it with feathers. It was like sitting in a two person papasan chair. The Quetzalcoatl circled behind them, once around her nest then behind them again, enclosing the two humans. The others all peered over her tail to see how it was going. The people were chatting with each other but...

"They're not touching anymore," said the Short Snout. "Why are they not touching? Is that bad?"

"It could be bad," said the Green.

"I'm sure it's bad," said the Short Snout, now convinced.

"Maybe I could lean over and nudge them back together," the Green said.

The Fireball made an exasperated noise, batted the Green back, rose up and oscillated smoothly in the air. A chill breeze blew through the trees and rushed over the Quetzalcoatl's long body. Haruhi shivered and snuggled deeper into the feathers.

"She's supposed to cuddle up with her mate!" shrieked the Short Snout. "Why isn't she doing that?"

"We're warmer?" suggested the Horntail.

"There's no other males here," pointed out the Fireball. "Maybe he can still salvage it." They watched as Mori removed the spelled top from the gold box to reveal a tray of sushi. The Quetzalcoatl craned her neck around to see what he had brought while four dragon heads leaned over her tail to examine the food closely. The Fireball leaned in and sniffed. "Oh, fatty tuna. Good choice. That's very tasty."

"Do they want some?" Haruhi asked, seeing the four dragons looming over the food while the one they were leaning on was also looking on with interest.

Mori rumbled the question. They all looked over guiltily and ducked back behind the Quetzalcoatl as though the humans might instantly forget they were there. Out of sight, the secretive rumbling conversation continued. "There's not very much there though," the Horntail said. "Is that going to be enough?"

"Well maybe he's just planning on feeding her and not himself," the Welsh Green said. "You know, putting his mate before himself. That's always a good gesture."

"But if he can't feed both of them how could he feed a brood on top of it? She's going to think he can't feed them and she'll go find another mate who can," the Fireball said.

"This is bad, this is very bad," the Short Snout sad worriedly.

"Well then go fix it," the Horntail snapped.

"Fix it how?" said the Short Snout.

"Seriously? This is an island isn't it? There must be someplace around here to get fish."

"Oh I know just the place," the Welsh Green said. She took off at top speed.

The Chinese dragon popped her head up to take another quick look then hunkered back down. "She's eating now, that's good right? I mean, he didn't make the kill in front of her. Do you think she's smart enough to know he provided that and it wasn't just sitting there the whole time?"

"The-one-who-was-raised-by-snakes said she was smart," the Horntail answered, but didn't sound convinced.

"Is it going well, you think?" The Short Snout said.

"How would I know?" said the Horntail. "I don't know the first thing about human mating rituals. In fact I wish they didn't. The last thing we need are more of those dangerous unpredictable creatures around."

The Short Snout ignored the acid comment and craned her neck for a better view of the couple. "Maybe the-one-who-speaks-poorly could tell us."

"I'll go find him." They really weren't supposed to leave the area, but since the Chinese Fireball manipulated air currents instead of beating the air with wings, it could move more stealthily than the others. It rose into the air. It took a few minutes to locate the scent it wanted from all the others, then made a beeline for the castle.

.

"Shit!" said Ji. "The dragons are bolting."

"What?" Charley looked over in alarm.

"The Green left a few minutes ago and the red took off for the school."

The dragon handlers raced to the edge of the forest in time to see the Fireball circle closely around the outside of the castle before landing on Gryffindor Tower and spiraling up the outside.

.

"Did you know you could talk to dragons when you jumped in the arena?" Once the question had occurred to Haruhi, she couldn't let it go.

"No," Mori replied.

She looked up, shocked. "But you can speak to any animal."

"I can understand many animals," Mori corrected, "and can speak to most that I understand, but I must hear the language first before I know if I can understand it. I cannot simply speak to an animal without hearing it talk first."

"But if you didn't know... I mean why would you...?"

"You were in trouble," Mori said simply.

Haruhi was at a loss. "I guess so." _I mean, I guess he would rescue anybody he cared about: his parents, his brother, his cousin, the Host Club. It was probably just a Host Club thing._  Nonetheless, she really wanted to hug him right now, so she did; but it was only when his arms went around her as well that it felt truly right. She sighed in contentment. Mori pressed his lips into her hair and sighed. All the dragons in the clearing looked on and sighed happily as well. Haruhi cracked up.

.

The Fireball wrapped herself around the outside of Gryffindor Tower then paced around the stones until she found a window that smelled like Harry could be on the inside. She snorted to try to open the window.

Inside the common room, the window began to rattle fiercely in the wind on what had been a calm night. Lavender turned around and screamed when she saw a huge red dragon head framed by the lintel.

"Uh, Harry?" Hermione said. "I think this may be for you."

Harry went over to the window. "What are you doing here?" he hissed in Parseltongue.

"We need your help," said dragon. "C'mon."

It was getting late, he couldn't go down the staircase without getting caught. "Uh... let me get my broom."

"We're in a hurry. Climb on." The dragon moved forward a step or two, offering the back of her neck to Harry. Wondering if he was making the biggest mistake of his life, Harry did. The dragon launched herself into the night.

"There goes another twenty points," said Seamus.

"You're just jealous," said Dean.

"Yes, I am," said Seamus.

.

It wasn't as smooth as riding a broom, but it was much smoother than the hippogriff had been. The undulating motion was almost like riding a roller coaster and Harry could have learned to enjoy it if he wasn't aware that at any moment the dragon could twist sharply, dislodge him and hurl him to his death. But the dragon didn't. It landed in the little grotto where they had all been living. "How's it going?"

"I can't tell," said the Short Snout. "They were talking then she made this weird noise like she was choking and started to shake."

"He doesn't want her if she's ill," said the Horntail.

"She's making the noise again," the blue dragon said worriedly.

"No, she's laughing," said Harry. "That's a good sign. It means she's enjoying herself."

"Then he fed her," the Horntail said. "But they ate all of it and there's none left."

"Will she be angry with him because he didn't give her enough?" the blue dragon fretted.

"Unlikely," said Harry.

"After they ate, he put his wing around her," the Short Snout continued.

"He doesn't have wings," the Horntail corrected. "He put his leg over her."

Harry looked at his own body trying to picture it. "His foreleg or hind leg?"

"Foreleg," said the Horntail. "Then he bit her."

"He didn't use his teeth. He just kind of tasted her. Probably trying to see how bad that shaking sickness is."

"Uh ... Where did he taste her?" Harry asked.

"Does it matter?" said the Horntail.

"Kinda."

"On the top of her head."

"Does he think it's a brain injury?" asked the Fireball.

"No, it's not that. I'm sure he thinks she's fine. It's just that on the top of the head can mean anything. If he tastes her on the cheek then they're just being friends and if they taste each other on the mouth and then they are exploring a mutual interest."

The Short Snout inhaled sharply. "Food! They were both eating the fish and they're still hungry so they're going to taste each other looking for more."

"No, that's not it," Harry said.

Just then the Welsh Green got back, carrying a full grown Atlantic bluefin tuna by the tail in her teeth.

"Perfect timing," said the Short Snout. "Now we need to lay it in by the nest subtly so she thinks it's always been there and she just overlooked it when she was looking for more food."

Harry slapped his forehead. This night was just getting more and more surreal. "That fish is five times her size! She's not going to think she overlooked it."

"He's right," said the Fireball. "Besides, that fish is too big and her teeth are too small. She can't bite through that. Remember, the fish was already shredded before he gave it to her."

"Alright, you hold the fish and I'll shred it," the Horntail unsheathed a wicked looking set of claws.

"It's my fish," the green said through clenched teeth. She whipped her head around to try to protect her prize but the weight and momentum were too much. The body of the tuna ripped off and went sailing through the air, leaving the dragon holding the end of the tail in her teeth.

.

Contentment settled over Takashi Morinozuka. The woman he adored was spending a quiet evening with him, just the two of them - dinner, conversation, no frantic running around. Against the backdrop of those brilliant colored feathers, her eyes sparkled. She sparkled. Her lips twitched in amusement at their absurd situation, at the eager dragons playing clumsy matchmakers, but she wasn't displeased. The fantastic colored backdrop blurred together leaving her in sharp focus and she looked at him like she was seeing him - really seeing him - for the first time. This was the most perfect night. Mori gazed deep into Haruhi's eyes. His fingers gently traced through her hair then raised her chin up. His lips brushed against hers as he leaned in for their first real kiss when a six hundred pound tuna dropped out of the sky.

.

The unsubtle stomping of the Host Club through branches and leaves distracted the dragons. "It's the rival males!" said the Fireball. "You were supposed to keep them away!"

The Horntail charged to drive them off. Four of the fledging males quailed in terror, but the little yellow one stood his ground, squared his stance, and when the dragon came close enough, grabbed her claw, stepped sideways, and flipped her clean on her back. He marched over to the stunned dragon's head and wagged a finger at her. "You need to be more friendly!"

"Hey," Tamaki said as Mori and Haruhi walked by, "Why are you two covered in fish guts?"

~oOo~

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you had as much fun reading this chapter as I did writing it.
> 
> Regarding the cockatrice idea, the number of spiders in the books and especially in the movies has always bothered me. There's no way the forest could support that many large predators, they'd eat every animal in it then overrun Hogsmeade and the school like a 1950s horror movie. But if birds eat spiders, then giant magical bird-like creatures would probably eat giant spiders, so I'm going with that. They'll probably never be large enough to take on Aragog, but there will be fewer of his children around.


	11. The Yule Ball

* * *

 

~oOo~

"The tuna  _was_  in little pieces after it hit the ground. She still could have eaten it if she was hungry," the Horntail said defensively.

"She's not going to hold it against him, is she?" the Short Snout worriedly.

Harry considered. "No. Some girls would, but I don't think Haruhi will. In fact, I suspect this is not even the weirdest thing that ever happened to her."

Harry sat there with the two dragons watching the dragon handlers break down their command post, something that under any other circumstances the handlers would not do until the very last thing after the dragons had already been removed. Mori and the Quetzalcoatl were giving instructions to the egg team.

Charley Weasley came up and bowed to the dragons. "Greetingsss."

"Greeting **s**!" The Horntail shouted with pointed emphasis on the end of the word. "Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! Not 'greetingssssssssss!"

Charley blinked in alarm. "What'd I say wrong?" he asked Harry.

"You spoke with a snake accent."

"Is this what I'm going to be reduced to talking to?" the Horntail said dismissively. "Are there others who can speak?"

Harry shook his head. "In all the world, the number who can even speak snake is less that the number of talons on your claws. To speak well to any animal like Mori does is unheard of. And I mean that literally. I've never even heard of that before. Although I wasn't raised in the wizarding world..." he translated the question to Charley who shook his head. "Only in fairy tales, mate," Charley said. "If I hadn't seen it for myself, I wouldn't believe it."

"Then you should come with us," the Horntail said to Harry, looking away. "You'll never learn to speak properly if all you have to talk to are snakes," she added gruffly.

"Thank you, but I still have a great deal to learn before I am ready to leave this nest."

The Horntail rolled her eyes. "Oh very well. I can teach you to hunt if I have to."

The Short Snout leaned over a whispered, "She's trying to say she's going to miss you," just in case Harry didn't get it.

Harry nodded. "But soon your eggs will hatch and you will not have time to teach a wingless one how to hunt. However, I will miss you - all of you - as well." Harry hugged the dragon and rubbed the side of his face against her as he had seen the Quetzalcoatl do to Mori. Halalfelul made an irritated noise but lowered her head so her nose touched the top of Harry's head and wrapped her tail around him, returning the hug. After a second, she cracked one eye open and glared at Charley. "Why is he still here?"

Charley tried to piece together words that might make sense. "Where dragons not you?" Now it was his turn to be annoyed. "Harry, how do you say ' _other_?'"

Harry told him, then slowly spoke the phrase "where are the other dragons?"

"They are going to get your cockatrice," the Horntail answered Harry, ignoring Charley.

"They don't need to do that," Harry quickly answered. Oh sweet Merlin, what was he going to do with a cockatrice? It wasn't like it could keep it in the backyard on Privit Drive.

"We said we would," the dragon answered.

Harry explained to Charley, adding "we'd better go get Hagrid."

~oOo~

Hagrid cleared his throat to get the attention of the fifth years. "The screwts be getting a might high spirited these days, so we'll be takin' a look at some O.W.L. creatures." He held up what appeared to be a small stick. "Now this be a ..."

"Dragon!" Cormac McLaggen interrupted him.

"Hardly, it be a bowtruckle."

"No, Hagrid, there are dragons coming this way," Katie Bell said. And so there were, all five of them, the red and the green with large, writhing things in their mouths, accompanied by Harry, Mori and a somewhat frazzled looking Charley.

Hagrid handed the bowtruckle to Katie and went to greet his visitors. He gave a credible bow and a totally mangled greeting.

"Er... Hi," said Harry. "Um. The dragons wanted to give us a present."

Hagrid' eyes glazed over in adoration at the sight of the creatures the dragons were holding. Ten to twelve feet from beak to tail (it was hard to say with them moving around so much).From shoulder down, it resembled a small, two legged dragon but neck up, it sported a rooster head complete with comb and vicious looking beak. "Blimey!" Hagrid breathed. "Is that a cockatrice?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "The dragons saw that the forest was out of balance and thought this would help. I was thinking we could let them go near the spiders' territory. Since people don't go there very often, nobody's likely to get hurt.  _But with luck, a lot of spiders will,_  he thought. Harry had never really forgiven the acromantula for trying to eat him and Ron second year.

"They are small because they are young," the Welsh Green explained. "But an older one would probably just go home." Perhaps the humans thought these too small to do the job? "They will grow," she assured them.

"That's the problem," Charley muttered, having caught just enough of the conversation.

"So's the problem they're trying to fix. Ask your brother about the spiders sometime," Harry answered him.

The cockatrice the Fireball was holding twisted and attempted to peck the dragon's eye. Oversensitive to the target, the Fireball shook her head violently and threw the cockatrice to the ground, firmly planting a claw on it. The cockatrice's terrified squawks became a gibberish noise. It was enough for Mori to lock onto the language. "They do not mean to eat you. They mere wish you to stay in this forest for a while. Giant spiders moved in several years ago and there is no one to eat them. There are plenty here to keep you and your friend fed through the cold season. When warmth returns, you may stay or go."

The cockatrice blinked. From the confused look in its eyes, a tree may as well have started talking. But the struggling and squawking stopped. Harry closed his eyes and strained to pick apart the conversation, but while it was apparent that these warbles were a language and not just noise, the sense of it eluded him. "Do you understand what they are saying?" Harry asked the Horntail.

"Of course not. It's bird-talk."

Harry glanced around the circle of students to see if any of them might have gotten it. The Gryffindors and Slytherins were all standing mouths agape. The one Durmstrang student (they had been placed as exchange students in the Slytherin classes, just as the Ouran students were in Gryffindor classes and Beauxbatons students in Ravenclaw classes, but most were sixth and seventh years) was similarly stunned. Only the Ouran students didn't look surprised. "Why isn't  _he_  your champion?" one of the Ravenclaw students asked Haruhi, momentarily forgetting how rude that sounded.

"Dunno," said Haruhi. "He would have been better at it than me."

The Quetzalcoatl's feathers perked up at Haruhi's voice. "Is that the female?"

"Yeah," said Harry. As soon as he said it, he realized he probably shouldn't have. The Quetzalcoatl snatched Harry in her claw and zipped over to Haruhi, curling around her, interposing her long, feathered body between the girl and the twins. She pulled out a few feathers and laid them on the ground in front of Haruhi. She looked at feathers, looked at Haruhi, and looked back at feathers. She turned to Harry. "You said human females use color to attract mates. She doesn't have much color so I thought I could help. Well, tell her."

"Oh, um, she says she thought you would look pretty wearing them."

Haruhi scooped up the feathers. "Tell her thank you. That's very sweet."

"Not that you need help," Harry said. "You're really pretty, even when you're dressed like a boy. Do you have a date for the Yule Ball yet?"

"Yeah," she said. "There's a really sweet girl who's a regular at the Host Club. I don't even have to feel bad that I might be ruining her first ball because she couldn't go if she wasn't going with me. Do you have a date?"

"Not yet," Harry confessed. "My first choice already has a date. And my second choice does too. And my third choice. And I strongly suspect my fourth choice now."

Haruhi reached out and petted the dragon. "Well if you're desperate, my friend Renge has invited herself to the ball. She's the one whose cousin goes to Beauxbatons. I don't recommend it; she's an uncontrollable force of nature and only Kyoya-senpai has ever had even the slightest influence over her, but if you're really desperate..."

"I'm desperate," said Harry.

Haruhi looked back down at the feathers in her hand. "Renge really likes flashy things. Maybe I should give you one of these." She held one out for him. "And thank the dragon for me. For everything."

Harry did so. The Quetzalcoatl nodded. "Tell her she is welcome. And tell her that when she is ready to look for a mate, the-one-that-speaks-well would be a good protector and keep her nest warm."

The Quetzalcoatl head butted them both lightly, circled them once and flew back to the others. "I am going to miss them," she confided to the Short Snout.

"Me too. But we all know the cautionary tale of Puff and Jackie."

"What?" said Harry.

"It's a nest-time story about a young dragon who makes friends with a human and they go on many great adventures together," said the Short Snout.

"My favorite is the one where Jackie creates a floating island that moves then Puff and Jackie rescue the fledging dragons from the evil sea-going humans," the Welsh Green interrupted.

"And the evil humans are forced to lower their giant colored wing when Puff roars out his name," added the Horntail.

"Or the one where they paint his wings to look like feathers so he can pass for a roc when flying overhead," the Green said.

"Or the one where they raid the giant's cave to steal the magic ring," said the Horntail.

"But then one night, the human goes away and never comes back and Puff never finds out why," the Short Snout said. "But he mourns his human friend deeply."

"I have always wondered if perhaps Jackie tried to go on an adventure without Puff and died," the Horntail speculated.

" _A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys,"_  Harry said softly. He didn't have the heart to tell them the rest of the line. But it did make him wonder what really happened to Jackie Paper.

~oOo~

End of term came, but not without a brutal exam from Snape, a three foot long in-class scroll from Professor Binns, and a star chart of all the disasters they were likely to encounter over the holidays. "Speaking of disasters," Ron said, "d'you have a date yet?"

"Sort of," said Harry. "Haruhi's setting me up with a friend."

"Does she have a friend for me?" Ron asked.

"Sorry," Harry said. "I didn't think to ask."

"It's all right," Ron said sulkily, "I already have a date."

"Who with?"

"Elsumimun," Ron mumbled.

"Who?" Hermione said.

"Eloise Midgeon, all right?"

"The girl with the nose?" Harry said.

"Madame Pomfrey put it back on," Ron said. "Besides, I had to. I heard Goyle say he didn't have a date yet and no girl should have to go to a ball with Gregory Goyle. I was asking her to save her."

"More like she's saving you," said Hermione. "Honestly Ron, you're something else."

~oOo~

The mild autumn gave way and cold set in with a vengeance. The Beauxbatons students complained nonstop. "Zis weather, eet eez uncivilized," Fleur said to anyone, whether they asked or not. The Durmstrang students scoffed derisively that any who thought this weather was cold was soft indeed. Of course, as Hermione noted, they said this from under their thick bear fur cloaks. The Hogwarts students curled up around cheery fires with cups of warm pumpkin cider or butterbeer. The Ouran students conjured a steaming hot tub styled like an open air bath near their staircase and asked if there was a nearby place to go skiing.

"What's skiing?" Ron asked.

"It's a muggle sport where you strap smooth boards to your feet and go sliding downhill," Tamaki said.

"That sounds stupid," Ron said.

"It's weirdly fun," answered Hikaru.

"But you cannot use zis 'ot bath," Fleur said, following Kyoya over to the Gryffindor table for lunch. "You would freeze getting out."

"Not at all, mademoiselle," Kyoya smiled . "We provide each of our guests with a fluffy magical robe guaranteed to keep you warm until you return to your room. And if you wish to keep the robe as a souvenir, they are available for a small price and can even be embroidered with the rose of your favorite host."

Haruhi's eyebrow started twitching.

"What sort of heat spell?" Hermione asked.

"It's a kind of reflection spell, cast on the thread before it is woven," Kyoya said.

"So if it is a fluffy robe, that would give you perhaps a fifty fold increase in surface area of the spell," Hermione said thoughtfully.

"Indeed," Kyoya smiled at this rare witch who could see the mathematical and practical implications.

"No heat loss at all then?"

"Perhaps one percent per hour, so I suppose if you wore the robe nonstop after four days you would find it no warmer than any other high quality robe."

"A bit longer than four days," Hermione corrected him. "You are still putting in body heat."

Kyoya was intrigued. Fleur was obviously put out. "Zen I will take one of zees robes," she said, drawing Kyoya's attention back to herself. "Wiz your rose on eet." She touched his arm lightly. "I confess, even zis weak sunlight would be nice. Zis castle of 'Ogwarts is so dark. At Beauxbatons, ze rooms are very tall and ze windows go floor to ceiling and ze rooms are all in white plaster wiz gold leaf or in soft, pleasing colors. And ze ceilings are painted wiz cherubs who play instruments while we dine and on special occasions, we haf wood nymphs zat serenade us. Eet ees ze most lovely place."

"Of that I have no doubt," Kyoya said. "The great staircase at Ouran is a copy of the staircase at Beauxbatons. Indeed, to make sure our students understand the world better, we have at least one feature copied from each of the great magical schools."

"What do you have from Hogwarts?" Hermione asked, curious.

"The third music room is copied from the Hogwarts Room of Requirement. Until recently, our room was dreadfully bored, being asked to provide nothing more complex than instruments and the occasional set for an opera. However, the Host Club took over the room and since then it has had quite the workout keeping up with Tamaki's imagination. In the last year alone it has been a Japanese Inn, a Balinese garden, an Arabian palace, a medieval castle, the Imperial Chinese court, a police station and a salon at Versailles. It's probably enjoying a well earned rest in our absence."

Hermione looked surprised. "I've never heard of the Room of Requirement."

"Then perhaps we should go looking for it together," Kyoya suggested.

"But not today!" Fleur clutched his arm. "You were going to take me to your open bath, and tomorrow we must be getting ready for ze ball."

"Boy, she got possessive fast," said Hikaru, coming up.

"Yeah," Kaoru agreed. "Somebody should probably tell her that is not the best way to win Kyoya-senpai."

Tamaki strode over. "Kyoya, did you say we're going exploring?"

"Non," said Fleur quickly.

"How right you are, fair princess," Tamaki bowed and kissed her hand. "We absolutely cannot without proper equipage. Hikaru, Kaoru," he snapped his fingers.

"Yes sir!" they answered him smartly.

"See to our attire. Haruhi, you will be the water boy."

"Hey!" she protested.

The twins waived their wands and all seven hosts, Fleur, Hermione, and even Harry and Ron who were across the room minding their own business suddenly found themselves dressed in various shades of tan, khaki, or olive green, from Honey's adorable military coat complete with pith helmet (and hatband with pink bunnies), to Mori's leather jacket and slouch hat, upturned on one side. Tamaki's coat gleamed with medals while Kyoya was suddenly wearing knee high riding boots over form fitting riding breeches, shirt with cravat, vest and knee length coat. Fleur gaped at them only to realize she was corseted under an ankle length skirt, tailored coat and an enormous broad brimmed hat draped over with a long white scarf. Hermione found herself in somewhat more practical suede jodhpurs. Haruhi's outfit was draped with water canteens. "'Ow did zees 'appen?" Fleur asked amazed.

"Oh please," Hikaru answered. "Our mother's a fashion designer. She taught us the Cinderella spell when we were five."

"Cinderella spell?" Hermione asked.

"You know, fine gown, ends at midnight."

Ron was still looking amazed since he and Harry hadn't been sitting near the Host Club. "Hermione must have wanted you to come," Kaoru shrugged.

"Did I?" she asked, still mad at Ron over the whole date for the Yule Ball thing.

"Must have. The spell grabbed them."

 _Either that or I wanted Harry's company,_  thought Haruhi. But given the twins' and Tamaki's natures, it was probably better to blame it on Hermione.

"Onward men!" Tamaki pointed his riding crop towards the entryway and for some reason, everybody dressed like a Victorian safari followed him out the door, through the hall, up the stairs, through more halls, up more stairs, around the tower, down the stairs... "Does anyone have a damned map of this place?" Haruhi finally lost her patience.

At length they came to an empty corridor and a large but unprepossessing door. "This is it," Tamaki said almost reverently.

"You sure boss? It looks like a closet."

Tamaki merely placed his hands on the door, closed his eyes and paused. When he pulled the double doors open, there was a blinding light. Their eyes adjusted to see gilt chandeliers hanging from pink and white plaster filigree ceilings, marble inlaid walls, and a mahogany and red velvet couch in front of a coffee table. Leaded glass windows looking out on a garden with a fountain. Music Room 3. The one place in the world where Tamaki was genuinely happy. Haruhi walked over and squeezed his hand.

.

"Did you know that room existed?" Hermione asked Harry and Ron in the Gryffindor Common Room that night.

Harry shook his head. "It's not on the Marauders' Map."

"What? A big abandoned pink music room?" said Ron.

"Did you even look out the window?" Hermione hissed. "We were on the seventh floor of Hogwarts but the view was a second floor looking out on a garden like nothing we have here."

"You think it's a portal to Japan?" Harry said.

Hermione shook her head. "From what they said, it's a shape shifting room. It becomes what you ask it to."

"Huh," said Ron.

"Weird that it isn't on the map," said Harry.

~oOo~

The next night as Harry adjusted his cufflinks, he heard a ripping sound and turned around to find Ron tearing at the lace on his sleeves. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to make these robes look like they're not three hundred years old."

"Hate to tell you this mate," Seamus said, "but now they look three hundred years old and torn."

"He's right, Ron," Harry said. "Reparo." He put the lace back on the old shirt. "You look fine."

"Easy for you to say. You're not stuck wearing ancient hand-me-downs."

"For my last birthday, the Dursleys gave me a pair of Uncle Vernon's hand-me-down socks."

"Nobody has to see your socks," Ron grumbled.

"They hadn't been washed, Ron."

~oOo~

"You sure you don't want something new?" Hikaru offered.

"Hand-me-downs are fine," said Haruhi. "It's not like this stuff gets worn more than a few times a year, if that."

Kyoya gave her a painfully amused look. "You underestimate the circles we move in."

"Besides," Tamaki gushed, "you look so cute in my old formal robes."

"She'd have looked cuter in ours," Hikaru said.

"She'd have looked cuter in a dress," said Honey.

"Yes but your robes were cutting edge fashion two years ago which means they now look out of date," Kyoya said to the twins. "And she can't dress as a girl unless you are willing to give up her secret, in which case any number of these boys will likely take an interest in her."

Horrified at the thought, all the club members withdrew their objections.

"Honestly, all this formalwear flap is ridiculous. We should just rent them the way muggles do."

"Rent clothes?" Hikaru was appalled.

"You mean clothes that other people have worn?" said Kaoru.

"Like a timeshare on clothing?" Hikaru said.

"That's disgusting," said Kaoru.

"Is that really how commoners do it?" Tamaki asked.

"Well, some of them."

The guys all shuddered in horror.

"It's practical. If you're not going to wear it more than once, it's a waste of money." She looked at the guys who were staring at her blankly. "Oh forget it. Let's go." They headed out of their floating palace towards the great castle. "So who's everyone going with?"

Hikaru glanced a her like he secretly would have preferred another. Or perhaps not so secretly. "We're taking the Patel twins, I have Parvati the Gryffindor and Kaoru has Padma the Ravenclaw."

"Daring and smart," Haruhi glanced from Hikaru to Kaoru, "that works. Are you really taking Fleur?" She asked Kyoya.

"Beautiful, intelligent, the Beauxbatons Champion. That makes her the lady with the most merit. Who else would I be taking?" He shifted his head so his glasses hid the real answer in his eyes.

"Hermione Granger is awfully smart. More so than Fleur, I'd bet."

Kyoya nodded. "Smart enough to get and keep the Ouran Scholarship. You should encourage her to apply."

"And the rest of you?"

"Takeshi and I met these cute Hufflepuff girls in Herbology, and Tama-chan is taking the Beauxbatons girls."

"Which one?"

"All of them. They were starting to fight over who wanted to be with him the most so they're going to take turns."

"Whatever makes everyone happy," Haruhi said.

Mori said nothing. He suspected the dragons had been his best chance with Haruhi and now that they were gone, so might his chances be.

.

Ginny joined Padma and Parvati near the main entrance Christmas tree to wait for their dates. She looked wistfully at the stunning rose gold sari Parvati was wearing and the Quetzalcoatl-egg blue one that Padma had on. "Your saris are so beautiful."

"Thank you," Padma said. "Your dress is ... nice too," she smiled at the layers of pastel chiffon.

"My mother made it," Ginny said.

"Out of what?" Malfoy sneered as he walked by. "Her extra dust rags?"

Ginny wilted and probably would have run away if the Ouran students hadn't come up just then.

"Pay heem no mind," said Fleur, seeing the Ouran guys obvious disapproval of Malfoy's comment. "Your robes are perfectly charmante for a leetle girl wiz no figure yet." She moved off to where the champions were gathering, taking Kyoya with her.

"Wow," Hikaru said watching them go. "A bitch as well as possessive."

"It's like Princess Ayanokoji all over again," said Kaoru.

Ginny wasn't sure who this princess was, but it made her feel better that the handsome twins didn't like her.

"I think your dress is beautiful," said Haruhi.

"If you had any taste, we would argue with you," said Hikaru, pulling out his wand and measuring Ginny's shoulders.

"Yeah, you're a lost cause," Kaoru agreed with him holding his wand vertically against Ginny's torso. "What do you think Hikaru, Emerald or Sapphire?"

"With that red hair? Emerald."

The twins waived their wands and their magic intertwined then wrapped itself around Ginny. The pastel green on her dress began to darken, getting richer and stronger until it reached a breathtaking jewel-tone. Not the color that one sees on a flat plane but deep and shifting between shades of green as light caught in the depths of the stone. The poofy inverted tulip shape smoothed out into a perfect A. The naïve Peter Pan collar grew in size until it slipped just off her shoulders and folded itself into a sophisticated drape, mirroring the skirt on a smaller scale and giving the dress the shape of an hourglass. Only the pink sash remained emphasizing her tiny waist. The ribbon with its little pin slipped off her throat, the gold plated pin unwinding into a thin wire that curled into a filigree tiara with a Gryffindor lion hiding in the swirls. Her long hair rolled up to cradle the little crown as it settled on her head. "Haruhi, give us one of those Quetzalcoatl feathers," Hikaru said.

The long, slender feather wrapped around her neck making a simple but perfect necklace. Kaoru conjured a mirror and Ginny gasped. She was wearing the most beautiful dress in the room, no one else was even close. Kaoru leaned over her shoulder. "A frame draws attention to the painting, but does not change the value of a masterpiece. Go show those snobs what real class looks like."

Ginny's smile lit up the castle.

"I dunno," Haruhi said as she led Ginny to where the Champions were gathering, "I kinda liked the one your mom made."

.

Harry made his way over to the area near the bottom of the stairs where the Champions were supposed to meet up. Kyoya and Fleur were already there. There really was no word to describe them besides 'elegant.' Fleur's understated silvery gray gown set off her ivory skin and golden hair and the whole contrasted perfectly with Kyoya's dark hair and impeccable black robes. The fact that they weren't trying to outshine everyone meant that they pretty much did. Harry straightened his shoulders and tried to carry himself a little more like Kyoya.

Cedric and Cho joined them. Harry tried not to be jealous, especially since Cedric had been so friendly since the First Task; the shared danger, the sharing what little information each had, had cemented the bond between the five of them. The schools might be competing, but the actual contestants were in this together.

Krum came over and stood beside Harry. "Vaiting for your lady?"

Harry nodded, feeling dwarfed by the man in his resplendent scarlet wool coat and short cloak draped across one shoulder only.

"Me too," Krum said.

Haruhi and Ginny came over and Harry felt and even larger surge of jealousy than he had over Cho, which was totally weird, because he wasn't sure which one he was jealous of. Then he took a look a Ginny's dress and stopped. How in Merlin's name has the Weasleys ever afforded something like that? He thought of Ron in his ancient robes, of Ron having to start school with a hand-me-down wand, having to make do with broken wand his second year. The Weasleys adored their only daughter, but this difference in the expense of their dress robes was something the Dursleys would come up with. Then he saw Fleur's jaw drop and Kyoya's raised eyebrow.

Ginny was on Haruhi's arm.

The Ouran guys.

The Cinderella spell.

Harry breathed a little easier. He wouldn't have to deal with Ron after all. Or maybe he would. The whole way down from Gryffindor Tower, Ron had been bemoaning not knowing how to do the spell. He felt Krum straighten up. Hermione had appeared in the stairs. Krum went forward to meet her, stopping two steps below her, extending his hand. Hermione smiled as she took it.

"Wow," said Harry. "You look amazing." And so she did. Why hadn't he ever noticed her before?

"Thank you, Harry."

Harry tried to shake it off. Here he was, standing in a circle with his first, second, third and fourth choices of dates and he wasn't going with any of them. What were the odds? Although given the way his luck usually went, maybe that was guaranteed.

McGonagall came up."Oh good, everybody's here." Then she did a double take. "Where is your date, Mr. Potter?"

"Um..." Harry stammered and looked at Haruhi.

Haruhi shrugged. "We told her the ball starts at 8:00, she'll be here at 7:59. She likes making an entrance."

They all watched as the seconds tick by. As soon as it hit 7:59, lightning rent the air inside the castle and crackled where it hit the flagstones, tracing out a glowing blue circle. A deep rumbling noise like a powerful motor filled the hall, followed by a laugh, half demonic, half insane, and a girl slowly rose from the center of the circle.

"Your date's here," said Haruhi.

"But how?" Hermione gasped. "You can't apparate inside the Hogwarts grounds."

"It's more like a Portkey," Haruhi said, "except it doesn't seem to require a preset destination. She's used it to show up in the music room, a water park, even a muggle shopping mall."

Kyoya bowed. "Renge, allow me to introduce your date this evening, Mr. Harry Potter."

"It's nice to meet you Miss Houshakuji."

Renge's eye went wide and her mouth dropped. Harry braced himself for the usual reaction to the-boy-who-lived. "Black hair...glasses...mild manners... soft voice...  _he's exactly like the nebbish redesign of Miyabi, the main character in Uki Duki II: The Scrolls of Love!_ "

"Who, what?" Harry looked baffled.

She grabbed his arm and dragged him into the ballroom. "And of course you'll recognize my dress. It's an exact copy of the one LaLa wears to the school fair ball..."

Kyoya looked at Haruhi. "Did you neglect to warn him that Renge is an otaku?"

"Huh, that kind of slipped my mind."

The others all followed Harry and Renge into the Great Hall. The long dining tables had been removed. Small round tables had been scattered around the edges, leaving the center of the hall open for dancing. The walls and windows were draped with strands of holly and ivy. Banners hung from the ceiling displaying the crests of the four magical academies in attendance. There was a round of applause as the five champions and their dates made their way to the floor.  _One good thing about being on a ballroom with Fleur and Kyoya,_ Harry thought,  _is that nobody in their right minds would be watching anybody else._  Not that it mattered, Renge was pulling him around the floor, leading him through the waltz, twirling exuberantly. All he had to do was stay out of her way and make appropriate noises as she talked incessantly about these wonderful men in her life; men who Harry increasingly suspected were hallucinations or at the very least fictional. He looked around seeking a dose of sanity. The Beauxbatons girls who were not envying Fleur's date were clustered around Tamaki. "Why are you so 'andsome, Monsieur Tamaki?"

He gazed at her longingly. "So I can please your eyes and fill your dreams."

"Being at zis ball wiz you iz already like a dream come true."

"A dream we can share together, my lovely one." The statement would have had a lot more meaning if there hadn't been for the five other girls all lined up to talk to him. Curiously, it didn't seem to matter to the girls. "Aaaagggggghhhhhhhh!" The girls all did a little happy dance.

Padma smiled at Kaoru as they posed for a picture. "Your formal robes are perfect. By choosing a traditional cut but in midnight blue you've created at look both timeless yet daring."

"Takeshi! My right cufflink broke, but I can't use my wand with my left hand to fix it!" The small blond's eyes welled up with tears. Harry squinted a little. He'd seen the little blond doing magic without a wand, he was pretty sure handedness was not a factor, but half the girls in Hufflepuff ran over to fix it for him, cooing all the while.

Finally, he threw a glance at Haruhi and Ginny. Ginny was smiling and faintly blushing, and she looked like she was about to break out laughing for joy every time she spun in that fantastic emerald gown. Even Malfoy was looking at it in astonishment. Whatever else could be said for them, the Ouran guys did know how to make people happy.

"...It was then that I realized that my sweet Kyoya was not like Miyabi and the Haruhi was the one that truly adored me..."

"Um, yeah," Harry said, trying to figure out what the conversation was about.

The music reached the halfway point of the piece and Dumbledore led Professor McGonagall out onto the floor. Other couples immediately followed and soon the dance floor was crowded, much to Harry's relief, since it meant no one was watching them anymore.

"Do you want to join them?" said Eloise hopefully.

"Not really," said Ron as he continued to glare at Hermione and Krum.

Harry was even more relieved when the music finally ended. "Do you want to go sit down?" he asked Renge.

"Of course not," she said. "You know that my dress looks best while we're dancing and your heart would be broken if I didn't have the perfect night, and I couldn't possibly break your heart that way, so we'll stay on the dance floor all night."

Harry blinked. "Um... actually I'm the one who suggested we sit down, so I'd be ok with it."

"Nope, can't risk it. As manager of the Ouran Host Club, it's my duty to make sure you have a good time." Renge tightened her grip on Harry.

He suspected she'd break his fingers before letting go of his hand. On the other hand... Host Club. "It's just my friend Ron over there is so miserable. There's this girl he likes but he didn't think she'd get a date so he waited too long to ask her and ..."

"A love triangle?" Renge interrupted him excitedly. She followed Ron's gaze over to Hermione and Krum enjoying a dance together. Ron did indeed look utterly jealous and sour. Renge looked delighted. She marched over and began shouting at Ron. "No no no! You're doing it wrong! Sulking is not at all attractive! You need moe!" She grabbed him by the lace collar and began shaking him.

Ron looked around wildly. "Harry, your date's insane."

"Moe! Girls love a tortured soul. Now look out there - the love of your life is dancing in another man's arms! A world class athlete with a body to match. Famous! Wealthy! Admired! And you have nothing to offer against him but your timid heart. Suffer!"

Almost against his will, Ron looked over. His sadness at missing out must have shown on his face because Eloise, Parvati and Lavender all tilted their heads sideways. "Ohhhhhhh..."

.

As the evening wore on, Harry just shook his head. If anyone had told him that a handful of foreigners could walk in and own a room like these Ouran guys did, he would not have believed it. Hermione was radiant. Krum, for the first time, didn't seem awkward off his broomstick. Ron was basking in the sympathy, so much so he was growing more and more sad because he was getting more and more girls. Neville was dancing with a stunning Ravenclaw girl with long blonde hair. Ginny was by the refreshment table giggling with her friends and swishing back and forth just a bit so her dress kept catching the light when it moved. Tamaki walked over to Harry. "Why don't you ask Miss Weasley to dance?"

"Oh, um, I don't want to, um, you know. I'm not her date and she's not mine."

Tamaki nodded. "But your date has now moved on and is too busy trying to change Hagrid's personality into the shy, lonely, awkward giant to even notice."

"Hagrid's not shy," Harry said.

"That won't matter to Renge in the slightest. Miss Weasley would like it. Haruhi won't mind. And there's nothing wrong in asking an old friend to dance."

"Old friends," said Harry, considering. "I could ... I could ask an old friend to dance." Harry awkwardly went over and did just that.

Kaoru came up to Tamaki. "You know, of course, that they're not just friends."

"Of course," Tamaki said. "But he doesn't know that yet." Tamaki smiled and went back to his dates, his work done.

Kaoru watched him go, glancing at Haruhi on his way. "There's a lot of that going around."

.

As soon as Harry led Ginny into the floor, Hikaru called out "Hey Haruhi! C'mere."

"What?" she said as she wandered over to the verandah.

The twins hit her with a spell the minute she was out of sight of the ballroom. Tamaki's old black dress robes transfigured into a close fitting black one shouldered evening gown with a slit up the thigh and a filmy, flowing train draping from her single covered shoulder. A sinewy, seductively curling lace vine wound up the bodice, framing her ivory colored throat. Hikaru took her hand and led her to the dance floor.

"They'll notice," Haruhi said.

"No they won't. It's late; no one is paying attention anymore," he answered as he led her onto the floor.

When the dance was over, Kaoru took his turn. "Not colorful enough," he said, changing the gown from black to gold. Haruhi rolled her eyes but said nothing. They were three quarters through the dance when Tamaki shrieked. "You can't dress my daughter like that you twisted perverts!" The dress bloomed into a demure, voluminous sky blue ball gown, complete with silk petticoat worthy of any fairy princess. After her dance with Tamaki, Kyoya took her hand and the dress changed again, this time to a sleek black and burgundy sheath. "Oh come on!" Haruhi said, getting annoyed.

"It's not me," Kyoya said. "Those three idiots have altered the spell so many times, it will now become a reflection of your partner's tastes and how he sees you."

"That's kind of insulting," she said.

"Curious. I would find it enlightening."

She glanced down at the dress. The twins had made it into something sexy. Tamaki has made it into something innocent and beautiful. Kyoya's version was elegant and clean; no frills or lace or unnecessary ornamentation. At the end of their dance, Harry came over. "Haruhi?" he said carefully.

"Haruhi's cousin, visiting for the ball," Kyoya answered.

Harry nodded. "I like your cousin a lot. Would you do me the honor?" He bowed awkwardly. The dress brightened to a Gryffindor scarlet with gold embroidery which at first glance seemed like a geometric pattern but on closer inspection turned out to be repeated Gryffindor lions. She wondered if that meant he thought she was brave. Next Honey came bounding over from the dessert buffet, handed her a strawberry petit four and took her hand. The dress immediately became white with pink polka dots over a red with white polka dot hem. Strawberries and strawberry blossoms clustered around the base and rose in little columns towards a frilly, lacy bodice. She looked like Little Bo Peep. "No way, senpai!" she said exasperated.

Honey eeped and the polka dots disappeared. As she continued to glare, the strawberries retreated to the back of the dress where she couldn't see them and the lace became a little less ruffled. "You look super cute!" Honey protested.

"Mitsukuni," Mori came over and rescued her. The dress became a formal kimono, a white slowly deeping into lavender silk with roses twining diagonally around the skirt. Peeking out from behind the flowers were five little dragons. He led her out onto the verandah where they watched the fairy lights dance in the magically warmed garden.

As they left the room, Kyoya came up behind Harry and said quietly, "You need to take off your coat and put it around Miss Weasley's shoulders."

Harry looked over at her, chatting with her friends. "Why?"

"Because it's 11:58 and she has forgotten to watch the clock. And when a gentleman respects a lady, he spares her embarrassment."

~oOo~

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I had thought about having Draco show up with Princess Ayanokoji as his date; they would have been perfect for each other…elitist, pure blooded, but it didn't work its way into the story.


	12. Accidents and Plans

* * *

~oOo~

The vicious cold loosed its grip but spring was still a long ways off, so when they had a warm day, everybody flooded outside. "Hey Haruhi!" Hikaru said. "Want to come to Hogsmeade with us?"

"No thanks. We have all this homework over break and I need to work on this egg." She gestured to the golden egg from the first task, now sitting beside her on the lakeshore, glinting in the sunlight.

"But that's boring!" the twins complained.

"Then go without me or find something to amuse yourselves."

"I'll help you with the egg," said Tamaki, picking up the egg to examine it. He popped it open and that horrible squealing noise ensued. They all covered their ears.

"Shut it already boss!" Hikaru grabbed the egg from Tamaki and slammed it closed.

"Thank you," said Haruhi. "Now can I have it back?"

Hikaru got a mischievous glint in his eye. "Hey Kaoru, go long." He threw it to his brother.

"Cut it out guys! If you break it, I'll never solve it." Haruhi got up and ran over to Kaoru, who tossed it back to Hikaru as soon as she got close. A game of keep-away ensued, the twins throwing it back and forth, Haruhi running between.

"I'll help!" Tamaki ran to stand in front of Hikaru and, being taller, would have intercepted the egg midair had Hikaru not body-chucked him to one side. Tamaki grabbed Hikaru on the way down and pulled them both over. The egg sailed clean past where they had been standing and landed in the lake.

"Thanks a lot guys! That water is freezing and now I have to go in and get it, assuming I can even find it." She took off her shoes, rolled up her pants legs and waded in. She felt around for a couple minutes before she found it, well and truly stuck in the muck. She yanked hard to get it free and the top popped open ... only instead of the screeching sound it sounded almost ... musical. "What the...?" She leaned her head close to the water to hear it better. Tamaki waded over and stood beside her. He leaned over a bit farther and put his ear in the water and signaled for Haruhi to do the same. She gasped in shock and the words became crystal clear. It took six repetitions of the song before they had all the lyrics copied down word perfect.

"What do you suppose it means?" said Kaoru.

"The song?" said Kyoya.

"No, that," Kaoru pointed at the lake.

There were three pale young girls with their heads just above water, giggling at the boys.

"Well hello there," said Tamaki at his most charming. "Come here," he invited.

As they swam closer, it became apparent their skin was not just pale, it was silvery-gray. One had hair that was a deep forest green, one pale green, the third a dark purple. "Mermaids," Kyoya commented.

"What are you lovely young ladies doing here?" Tamaki asked.

"We heard the song," one answered in a high pitched kawaii voice.

"Do you like it?" another asked in an equally giggly voice. "We had to practice it all day before the wizards decided it was good enough to put in the golden bubble."

Tamaki leaned forward, intensely interested. "That's you singing?" He waived his wand in a circle a conjured a low tea table whose top was just barely above the water. He gestured to the table and the mermaids joined him. Kyoya shot a spell over his shoulder and a tea cart zoomed out the Ouran palace door, down the stairs, across the lawn and skidded to a halt right next the Tamaki's table. "Tell me more about your song."

Kyoya nudged Haruhi and she went over to the cart and began serving. In addition to the expected tea set were tea cakes, fish custard tarts, sushi, fish crackers and seaweed snacks shaped like green roses. She set them on the table while the first mermaid leaned forwards. "It's for a game," she whispered. "There will be five players and each will race to get their prize. But it's more of an obstacle course really. They'll have to find their way through the kelp forest, past the wild grindylows, then search though the town. Everyone will turn out. It will be very exciting!"

"Will you be one of the players?" the third mermaid asked, helping herself to a piece of sushi.

"I wish I could be, if only to see you again."

The mermaid splashed her tail in excitement.

"But Haruhi here will be," Tamaki introduced her.

"But I don't swim very well," said Haruhi. "So I won't win. Growing up, I only got to swim in small pools and the one time I did go to the ocean, I couldn't go in the water, I had to stay on the beach." She glared at Kyoya.

"Until you got thrown off the cliff," Kyoya answered her, unruffled

"That wasn't my fault. Those girls were being attacked."

"Could you have called for help?"

"You weren't there!"

"We were close by," Mori said.

The mermaids' heads swiveled back and forth between the guys, vastly entertained by their squabbling. One of them absentmindedly picked up a fish cracker and crunched into it, then squealed. She crunched it again and picked up another one. The others looked at her in fascination.

Pretty soon, the entire area was littered with fish cracker crumbs to the giggling of the mermaids. "What the...?" Haruhi asked.

"They live underwater, Haruhi," Kyoya said. "Crispy food and warm tea will be a novelty for them."

"Huh," said Haruhi, her old argument with the guys retired yet again. "Try one of these." She held out a seaweed snack rose. The mermaid tapped the flower a couple times, snapped off a petal which crackled, much to her delight, and ate it. Suddenly the air was filled with flakes of dried seaweed as they ripped through everything crunchy on the table. "You might want to slow down," Haruhi said. "I did that once with crab and kind of regretted it afterwards."

The crispy things all gone, they stared poking at the tea cakes and fish custard tarts. "Did you really protect the landmaids from the monsters all by yourself?" one of them asked, leaning forward on the table and curling her tail flirtatiously out of the water.

"They weren't really monsters," Haruhi said. "They were ... um ... kind of ... all I did was throw sea urchins and shells at them," she finished lamely.

"But did it work?"

"Well, sort of. Right until they threw me off a cliff. At which point Tamaki-senpai dove in the water to save me and the twins here finished, um, fighting them for me."

"Don't be so modest," Kyoya said. "You were quite brave."

"Really? Because you guys all called me stupid at the time."

"Hey, stupid doesn't mean cowardly," Hikaru said. Kaoru elbowed him in the ribs.

"Haru-chan is one of the bravest people I know," Honey piped up. "Even if he isn't very good at fighting."

"Or swimming," added Mori.

"You guys are not helping," Haruhi said drily.

The guys all beamed at her fondly.

.

The guys waived at the mermaids as they swam away. "Gentlemen," Tamaki said, "we have a plan."

~oOo~

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Ok, this chapter is really short, but it works better separately from the next one, so I'll publish them as two separate chapters. But the next will be up as soon as I get it edited.


	13. The Second Task

* * *

 

~oOo~

"That can't be!" Tamaki shrieked. "They made a mistake!"

"How so?" Kyoya asked.

"You said they took the person who was most important to her, but I'm still here!"

"Bad news, boss," Hikaru said.

"For all of us," Kaoru consoled them.

"Then who did they take?"

"They took her father, of course."

"But I'm her father," Tamaki insisted.

"They took Ranka," Kyoya said quietly.

Tamaki's temper tantrum stopped instantly. "Ranka?"

"But he's..." Hikaru said.

"Precisely," said Kyoya.

"This isn't funny anymore," Kaoru said.

"Nothing in this contest is funny," Mori said.

In her room, Haruhi let out a distraught cry as she discovered what had been taken. She ran into the Ouran hall, her eye wide. "He's a muggle! He can't survive underwater! He'll drown!"

"Haruhi," Tamaki intercepted her as she was about to go tearing down the stairs and held her firmly, "it will be alright."

"Stick to the plan," Kyoya said in a soft but firm voice.

"What plan? You never told me the plan."

"When it begins, conjure a tea table in the water, just like we've been practicing all week," Tamaki said.

"And do what? Eat snacks while my father dies?"

"The mermaids like you, Haru-chan. They won't let anything bad happen." Honey reassured her.

"Conjure a tea table," Mori reiterated.

Her eyes flicked back and forth between all the guys, trying to decide how much she trusted them. Then she took a deep breath, opened the door and headed down the stairs to the water's edge at a measured pace.

"You think we should have told her the plan?" Hikaru said.

"No," Kyoya said. "While Haruhi would help anyone who needed her, she cannot ask for help herself. It has to come naturally."

They followed her down the stairs.

.

Haruhi reached the platform at the lakeside. The school headmasters were already in the judging booth; it just drove home the immediacy of the danger. The other champions were standing together. She went over to them. "Ready?" Harry asked her.

Haruhi didn't answer. "I never thought I'd miss the dragons."

"But surely zis iz less dangereux?" Fleur said.

"Last time is was just us facing death. Now it's us  _and_  the people we care about," Harry said.

"I was actually thinking the Fireball can control water," Haruhi said. "Maybe she could have created a waterspout and extracted the hostages for us."

"We'd be disqualified," Cedric said.

"My father is in that lake! You think I care about some stupid score?"

"My sister," said Fleur.

"My best friend," said Harry.

"My girlfriend," said Cedric.

"The girl I hoped vould be my girlfriend," said Krum.

"But even if the dragons could help us, why would zey?" said Fleur.

"Polikov is in their Magic Animal class. He say Harry can talk to dragons and they gif presents to Haruhi. For them, they vould do it maybe."

"Come to think of it, the Green could dive really deep," Harry said. "You should've seen the size of the tuna she brought back."

"I wore the tuna she brought back." Their eyes met and they gave a short laugh.

"Thanks, I needed that," Haruhi said.

Harry nodded and gave her a brief hug.

"Everyone know what they are going to do?" Cedric said.

"Yeah," Harry said, gripping the gillyweed in his pocket.

"I zink zo," said Fleur.

"I haf a plan," said Krum.

"I don't," said Haruhi.

They all looked at her in horror. But before they could react, Ludo Bagman's voice boomed out, "Champions, take your marks."

They all looked over their shoulder worriedly but it was too late to do anything for Haruhi now.

"As Mr. Krum and Mr. Potter are tied for first place they shall go into the water first with a 30 second head start," Bagman said, "followed by Mr. Diggory, then 30 seconds later by Miss Delacour, then by Mr. Fujioka."

Harry went over to his starting block. Hagrid, Neville, Dean, Seamus, Ginny, Fred and George were all there. He knew Ron was trapped somewhere on the lake floor, but why wasn't Hermione there to cheer him on?

"Gentlemen," Bagman's voice rang out, "go."

Krum dove into the water, his head already transforming into that of a shark. Harry stuffed something in his mouth and began chewing furiously. He choked whatever it was down, then convulsed and dropped into the lake like a wounded duck. Seconds ticked by as they all watched in shock. Then Harry shot fifteen feet out of the lake, his feet and hands now webbed, then spun midair, and dove cleanly into the black water.

_Well I'm not an animagus and I don't know that spell,_  thought Haruhi, sincerely hoping the other two would give her an idea. But when Cedric's name was called, he simply disappeared under the water, as did Fleur.

"Mr. Fujioka," Bagman called out.

She just stood there.  _Stick to the plan,_  Kyoya had told her. Would have been nice if those rich, smug bastards had told her what the plan was. She took a deep breath and walked to the shore. She moved her wand round and around, conjuring a tea table, bright and pretty, inlaid with sea dragons chasing each other in a circle, or perhaps they were her longed for Chinese Fireballs. She set the wand to her throat. " _Cetasonorus_." She stuck her head in the water and called, then waived her wand back towards the floating pink palace. A tea trolley zoomed out the door towards her.

"Mr. Fujioka?" Bagman said. "You are aware the contest is in the lake, aren't you?"

She tried to shut out the comment and murmurs in the crowd and sat down and waited. And waited. Precious minutes ticked by. Then at last, two heads popped out of the water, one with dark green hair, the other with purple. They swam over to the table while Haruhi poured them tea.

"It's contest day!" The green haired one said excitedly in her adorable kawaii voice. "The whole village has turned out!"

"It was kind of the Host Club to invite us to watch with them," added the purple haired one.

"Are you all right, Haruhi?"

"No," she answered. "They took my father. I don't really care about stuff, so when I thought they were just taking something I owned, it didn't matter very much. But it's my dad. Ever since my mom died, he's worked so hard to take care of me, to protect me, and the one time he really needs me, I can't help him back. I can't swim very well and even if I could, I couldn't hold my breath long enough to save him."

"But his magic..." said the first mermaid.

"He doesn't have any," Haruhi interrupted. "He's not a wizard."

"Oh Haruhi," the purple one put her hand on Haruhi's. The two mermaids glanced at each other and the purple haired mermaid nodded.

"Take a deep breath, and don't breathe again until your head is above water," said the green one.

"What?" Haruhi looked confused, even more so as the green haired one wrapped her arms around Haruhi and kissed her. Haruhi felt herself getting pushed backwards. By the time the mermaid broke the kiss, they were two feet underwater. Haruhi started for the surface, but the mermaids held her down.

.

"Blimey!" Hagrid said from where he was watching. "A mermaid's kiss, freely given."

"What's that mean?" said Neville.

"Ya can' drown. Safe as a squid in the water, ya are."

.

Haruhi was suddenly aware her lungs were not crying for air. "How long does this last?"

"Until your head breaks the surface." The mermaid's voice, high pitched and childish above water, was deep and melodious below.

"Come on," said the purple one. "We need to hurry." They each grabbed an arm and swam for the center of the lake. But when they got to the kelp forest, they paused and turned to skirt it.

"Aren't we supposed to go through?" Haruhi asked.

"It's full of wild grindylows," the green one said.

"Starving wild grindylows," the purple one clarified. "There's not much to eat over winter, so they'll attack anything that moves."

"Around the forest takes longer, but we'll get past," the green one added.

Haruhi looked into the thick, forbidding, undulating greenery, even as the mermaids pulled her around. She thought she saw a hint of Fleur's bright hair through the seaweed, then lots of dark things darting towards it.

.

They rounded the bend, skirting the seaweed forest in time to see Harry break cover some quarter mile in front of them, zooming towards the mer-village. His transfiguration definitely made him the fastest Champion in the water. Through the tall strands of leafy kelp, Haruhi thought she saw something shark-like thrashing violently in the dim light. The shark head snapped and shook violently, tearing one grindylow in half, then again at another one. Dark, inky blood filled the water and sent the other grindylows into a frenzy. A short distance away, she saw bright flashes of energy, that burned and popped, flash boiling patches of water. The grindylows fled deeper into the forest and Cedric broke free. Nowhere near as fast as Harry in the water, he would arrive at the village a distant second. Krum finally managed to cause enough damage and the grindylows backed off, looking for easier prey. He would make it third. Haruhi looked back into the forest.

As Haruhi and the mermaids reached the place where the boys had exited the forest, she saw a flash of blonde hair deep in the seaweed. Fleur had not only her own pack of grindylows to contend with, but those Cedric and Krum had driven off as well. Try as she might, she couldn't fend them off alone. "We have to help!" Haruhi told the mermaids.

"They are too dangerous," the mermaids said. They dropped Haruhi's arms and backed away, frightened.

Haruhi swam forward, picking up a couple rocks and sea urchins as she went, but when she threw them at the grindylows underwater, they had no force. She pulled out her wand to try Cedric's hot water trick on the largest grindylow present.  _That_  got the water demon's attention. It charged and she hit it again. And the one behind it. But there were so many others. She was going to have to do more if she was going to help Fleur. Really, it was the same spell she used to heat water for tea and instant coffee in the Host Club, only this time, instead of three or four cups, she had to hit two dozen. And the cups were moving. And she absolutely couldn't hit the yellow puff pastry in the middle. Well, dancing tea cups were the kind of shit the twins pulled on her all the time. Haruhi took a second to gather her wits, focus, then threw the spell. Scalded, the grindylows backed away, but not before one of them struck Fleur across the face and stripped the bubble head charm away from her nose and mouth. Another hit her chest as it fled and knocked the wind out of her. Fleur gasped, then panicked. Whether she couldn't cast the spell underwater or was simply too frightened to concentrate didn't matter. Haruhi swam forward, grabbed Fleur and made for the surface. Now that the grindylows were gone, the mermaids came back and helped. Ten feet from the surface, they pushed Fleur upwards and headed back down. Cedric passed her, his Yule Ball date under one arm. When she got to the village, the shark-headed Krum came through, rope in his mouth, towing the really smart girl behind him. When she got the the center of the town, she found the three remaining hostages tied by their feet to a statue, floating unconscious. Much to her surprise Harry was still there arguing with the head merman about the remaining captives. "Where's Fleur?" he said.

Haruhi shook her head. "She won't be coming. She didn't make it through the grindylows."

"We'll take all three then." Harry picked up a jagged rock and began sawing through the ropes.

"No!" said the merman. "You take only yours!"

"You gotta be kidding me!" Haruhi lost her temper. Unbeknownst to any down there, they had just released the Third Demon of the Host Club. Her eyes narrowed, her jaw clenched, for a second there Harry thought he saw laser beams shooting out at the merman. And they thought grindylows were frightening.

She swam over and began poking at the chief merman's chest. "Look, I get that the dragons thought we were trying to steal their eggs, but you people  _know_  this is a game. And I just told you Fleur is  _not_  going to make it. And we are  _not_  about to leave this little girl here to drown because of some  _stupid rule_. So rat me out of you like but  _back off_  or I'll teacup the lot of you!"

Harry took advantage of the distraction Haruhi was creating to cut through all three remaining ropes. He handed her father's rope to her like he was handing her a balloon at a fair. "C'mon," he said and headed for the surface.

The merfolk looked uncertain as to what they should do. They let the reasonable boy and the scary little short one go.

.

Halfway to the surface, they looked back to discover they were being followed by a shoal of teenage mermaids all tittering and looking on admiringly, and somewhat farther back by a group of disgruntled looking town officials and other hangers-on.

The got back to the dock with only one short incident. Haruhi didn't even have to throw the spell. She pointed her wand and the grindylows scattered.

The moment the captives' heads broke the water, they awoke. Ranka blinked a couple time to regain his bearings, then became aware of the young ladies helping him to float. "Mermaids!" he said delightedly.

"Uh, yeah dad. Let's get you out of the water," Haruhi replied. They swam over to the dock, but it rapidly became apparent the two young girls wouldn't be strong enough to lift him out of the water on their own. An older mermaid swam over to help.

"Kyoya wrote me that you had made friends with some, but he neglected to tell me how truly lovely they were."

The young girls giggled in their kawaii, above-water voices.

"And who is this wondrous creature?" he asked indicating the older woman, "Your sister?"

"Her mother," the older mermaid said.

"Then your kind must remain young and perfect forever!"

Despite herself, the older one blushed.

"C'mon dad," Haruhi said. "Let's get you out of that cold water."

"There is no cold when you are surrounded by such beauty." Ranka clasped his hands together and held them to his face.

"Would you like to see more?" the older mermaid asked.

"I would love to!" Ranka said.

"Dad!"

"Who knows when I'm going to have this chance again?"

The mermaids hauled him to the center of the lake. The older one kissed him and they disappeared beneath the waves.

"Why did I even bother rescuing him?" Haruhi muttered.

Now that the gillyweed had worn off, Harry moved much slower in the water. He and Ron finally reached the dock. Ron helped the little girl, handing her up to her sister. Fleur hugged the child fiercely, then gave Ron a quick kiss to thank him. Ron's eyes glazed over and an ecstatic smile appeared on his lips. It was fortunate that he was out of it, or he might have responded with jealousy as she turned to kiss Harry next. "Thank you for saving my sister," she said. "Cedric, 'e tell me 'ow you would not leave Gabrielle until she could be safe."

"Yeah," Harry breathed, dazzled by the beautiful woman in front of him. Not quite as overwhelmingly perfect as the veela at the Quidditch World Cup had been, but suddenly those women seemed too grown up, whereas this one was just right for him. And she was here, and she was pleased with him for helping her sister. Really, the whole task was worthwhile just to make her happy. He couldn't help but wonder if there was somebody else she wanted saved. Maybe he should go back in the lake to look, just in case. Fortunately McGonagall wrapped a blanket around him just before he dived in the water.

Fleur then turned to Haruhi. "And you, you saved me and 'elped Harry save my sister. I cannot thank you enough." She wrapped her arms around Haruhi and kissed the natural Host before going back to her sister.

"Oh, sure. Not a problem," Haruhi shrugged indifferently.

"Wow, Haru-chan!" Honey said excitedly. "You had an amazing day! You rescued your father, you didn't finish dead last this time, and you got kissed by both a mermaid and a veela on the same day!"

"Kissed?" Tamaki said, as though he just realized it.

"By a mermaid?" said Hikaru.

"And a veela?" said Kaoru.

"You'll probably never want to be kissed by a non-magical being again!" Honey beamed at her.

"Never be kissed...?" Tamaki repeated dumbly. "Aaagggghhhhh!" He ran over and grabbed Mori-senpai by the shirt. "How could you let this happen? You're supposed to be a seer! You're supposed to keep everybody safe!"

"Haruhi is uninjured," Mori deadpanned.

"Yeah, but..."

"If you recall," Kyoya said calmly, "this was  _your_  plan."

"It kinda was, boss," Hikaru said.

"But I didn't mean for  _this_  to happen."

"Then you should consider more carefully," Kyoya said. "After today, Haruhi will probably never desire another girl's kiss again."

Tamaki's panic attack stopped abruptly. " _Girl's?_ "

"Moron," Kyoya said softly as he wrapped one of the warm, fluffy Ouran robes around Haruhi. They had brought a second one for Ranka, but since that was no longer necessary, he instead wrapped it around Hermione who was starting to shiver in the cold despite the blanket McGonagall had given her.

Krum have the Ouran guys a sour look that deepened even further when Kyoya smiled and bowed to Hermione. "Compliments of the Host Club."

~oOo~

* * *

 


	14. Those Who Oughtn't Be Here

* * *

 

~oOo~

"Are you going to try it?" Parvati said over breakfast.

"I've never had it before, but everyone says it's fantastic." Lavender put in.

"What's going on?" asked Hikaru.

"A new restaurant opened up in Hogsmeade," answered George.

"And that's a big deal?" said Kaoru.

"Well, kinda," said Fred. "It's a small village so anything new causes a stir."

"And being an all-wizarding village, it's not like they have people moving in and out all the time," said George.

"But getting into the restaurant could be tough," Hermione said.

"Not at all," Kyoya said. "Once we knew the date of the next Hogsmeade visit, I owled for reservations."

Hermione bit her lip to hide her smile at the thought of another wizard who could  _actually_  plan ahead. It was a pity he was caught up with that snooty Beauxbatons girl. She sneaked a peek at the Ravenclaw table to find Fleur staring daggers at her, even while Roger Davies, the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, was trying his best to get her attention. It was enough to make Hermione wonder why Kyoya wasn't taken as Fleur's hostage. Then again, she had a hard time picturing anyone - Dumbledore included - talking the elegant Japanese wizard into an enchanted sleep for others' amusement. Just to annoy Fleur, she apologized to Kyoya for taking so long to return the fuzzy robe he had given her after the lake. "I was trying to figure out if it requires special cleaning."

"It does not," Kyoya said, "but you needn't bother. You may keep it." It wasn't like they could sell a robe that had been worn. Haruhi's eyebrow was twitching as though she could hear the second half of his thoughts.

Hermione tried to figure out a tactful way to ask how many people were included in the reservation. It wasn't just to irritate Fleur and to enjoy the raven-haired wizard's company; ever since the second task, Krum had been following her around like a love sick puppy and her classmates had been teasing her about it. Every time she went to the library, Krum went to the library and the whole gaggle of giggling girls went to the library and it was impossible to get any studying done. She went for a walk and Krum would go for a walk and the Quidditch fans would all follow along trying to join in his exercise routine. She sat by the lake to read figuring that outside, the noise wouldn't bother her as much, but Krum stood on the prow of the Durmstrang ship, took off his shirt and dove into the water. What happened next didn't even bear thinking about. Krum was quite a likable person and all, but enough was enough.

"The table seats eight," Kyoya said, noticing her wistful expression. "Would you care to join us?"

The owls flew in with the morning mail near the end of breakfast, as they usually did. But what was unusual was that one of them landed in front of Harry and extended his leg. Harry removed the note and the owl clicked his beak. "Oh, uh, sorry," Harry said patting down his robes. "I don't have any owl treats on me."

The bird ruffled his feathers in irritation.

"Try a piece of fish," suggested Mori.

Harry sliced one of the breakfast kippers in half and offered it to the owl, which hooted its thanks, though whether to Harry or Mori was not clear. It took the proffered fish and flitted away.

_Harry,_

_Well done on the second task! I knew you'd come up with something brilliant._

_Glad to hear the dragons were not a danger, but there's still too many strange things going on to let down your guard. Meet me at two at the stile on the road out of Hogsmeade. And bring as much food as you can._

The note was unsigned, but Harry knew very well who sent it. He leaned over to Hermione and whispered in her ear, "you're going to have to back out of your lunch with the Ouran guys." He passed her the note.

"I just accepted," she whispered back. She made a frustrated noise. "It'll work out. Lunch is at noon, plenty of time before two."

"But he said bring food. We can't order double at the restaurant, and we can't exactly go grocery shopping in town without causing comment. So we'll have to each lunch here and nick stuff off the table."

 _Not again,_ thought Hermione.  _Am I ever going to get to spend time with this Kyoya?_ "Alright, you two eat here and I'll meet you at half past one. That way I can listen and find out if anyone suspects he's in the area." Which she most definitely would do, even if it wasn't her main reason for going to lunch.

Harry looked shocked and hurt while Ron looked angry and jealous as Hermione headed out a short while later.

Krum came up to joined the guys and looked down the road forlornly. "Vhere is Hermy-own-ninny going?"

"To lunch apparently," Harry said.

"Oh." Krum looked crestfallen. "I vas hoping she vould go to town vith me."

~oOo~

The new restaurant was on the outskirts of the village, on a little lane that led down by the lakeshore. It was a small, pleasant cottage with climbing roses, a patio out back and a short stone walkway leading to a short pier in the lake. A carved wood sign hung out front proclaiming it "The Fishing Dragon," and had figure of a Welsh Green holding a tuna in her teeth. Haruhi threw a suspicious glance at the guys but they all managed to look innocent.

The group walked into the restaurant. "Pardon me," Kyoya said politely to the waitress whose back was turned, "we have reservations."

The waitress turned around. "Aaaaaiiiiiiii!" She ran over. Except it wasn't a she. It was Ranka. "Kyoya-kun! The wonderful Hitachiin brothers! Haninozuka-san, Morinozuka-san!" he said warmly. And then looking at Tamaki, "oh, it's you." Then he turned to Hermione, "And you must be Hermione. Kyoya-kun says you're the only witch he's ever met as bright as my Haruhi!"

 _Witch?_ thought Hermione.

"Dad! What are you doing here?" Haruhi demanded.

"It was such a lovely village, I decided to stay and open a restaurant."

Haruhi glared at him. "I made everything we've eaten for ten years! Are you telling me you can actually cook? And you may have worked for years in the hospitality industry, but you can't run a business because you can't manage money."

"That's why I brought Misuzu out."

"Yoo hoo!" Misuzu waved at them from the dock.

"Kill me now," Haruhi said to no one in particular.

"Would you like to see the restaurant?" Ranka asked.

"But of course," Kyoya responded.

The main dining room had a bar, eight tables, a hibachi grill (Misuzu had purchased enchanted knives to do the cooking on their own), plus two private dining rooms each with a kotatsu, one of which had been reserved by Kyoya. The patio had a half dozen more tables around an outdoor fireplace. There were no boats at the pier; instead six more tables, three on each side, sat just above the waterline; two were currently populated by merfolk. "Hi Haruhi!" the purple-haired mermaid waved at her.

"Oh, hi!" Haruhi waved back.

Tamaki went out and knelt down on the pier. "And how are you lovely young mermaids today?" They giggled and slapped their tails in the water and offered him tea.

The rest of the clientele were a mix of townsfolk, students and an assortment of other ... odd types. The menu was Japanese.

"Dad," Haruhi said reasonably, "I don't want to discourage you but this is a small British town. I don't think enough people here are going to go for exotic foreign food. Tell him Kyoya-senpai." If her dad wouldn't listen to her, perhaps he would listen to the one host he respected.

"On the contrary," Kyoya replied, "while there are two taverns in town, they both serve British cuisine. Something different would be quite welcome. In addition, the restaurant caters to not just one but two vastly underserved markets. As you know, Hogsmeade is the only all wizarding village in Britain. When hags and other people who cannot easily blend in with the general population need to go shopping, they are limited to Hogsmeade or a small shopping district in central London. Hags have a noted preference for raw meat, but there is a social stigma against that unless it is an ethnic delicacy such as steak tartare or sashimi. This allows them to come into town, do their shopping and enjoy a pleasant meal without anyone thinking twice. It has only been open a few weeks but has already made the  _Hag Herald's_  list of recommended dining establishments. The other market it serves is of course the merfolk." He gestured toward the tables in the water.

"They can eat raw fish any time they want. In fact, I doubt they eat much else." Haruhi was becoming exasperated.

"True, but they are limited to the fish and seasonings available in the lake. Ranka and Misuzu can floo down to London in the mornings, visit the fish market and bring back things not generally available locally."

She whispered to them "But he can't come back. What about the muggle repelling charms?"

"Kyoya-kun gave me this lovely locket with a picture of you." He held up the necklace to show her.

She finally lost it. "You can't live in a wizarding village, you're not a wizard!"

"Young lady!" One of the hags stood up, her eyes flashing above her green and warty nose. "People cannot help the way they are born. Just because your father's a squib does not give you the right to disrespect him!"

 _You're not a squib either,_  she thought. But if squibs were nonmagical people born into magical families, she supposed no one would know the difference. And Misuzu, for all that he was technically a wizard, wasn't much more powerful than a squib himself.

"Now then," the hag turned back to Ranka, "just a little more of that saki to fortify me and I'm off. I have to go into muggle London and I hate the way those people look at me."

"That's awful," Ranka sympathized. "You just go sit right by that window over there." He ran to get his makeup bag. "Now don't take this as any reflection on yourself, because you are a beautiful person inside." Twenty minutes later he pulled out a mirror. The hag gasped and touched her face. She turned around and everyone else - wizards and hags alike - gasped as well. She looked like a typical little old lady. Well, maybe one with a rather large nose, but nothing out of the ordinary.

"Perhaps you should open a beauty parlor as well," Kyoya suggested.

"Ok, beauty parlor and sushi restaurant  _really_  makes no sense as a business."

"It does if you're setting up a client-based model," Kyoya said.

"You stay out of this... wait. You financed all of this, didn't you?"

Kyoya shrugged.

.

Hermione sat and quietly processed all of it as she watched Haruhi go out to talk to Tamaki and the mermaids. So the really good looking  _woman_  was Haruhi's  _father_ , who was apparently a muggle pretending to be a squib. The garishly made up transvestite was his  _more sensible_ friend. Oh well, their eccentric dress would stand out less in the wizarding world where long robes and bright colors were common fashion choices. Haruhi's father had swum off with the mermaids and made friends with them and they were now his customers and probably local fish suppliers as well. The hags liked Haruhi's dad enough to stand up for him, meaning even the snobbier pure blood wizards might have to think twice before harassing him. Kyoya had apparently enchanted a locket to counteract the muggle repelling charms. Haruhi's father had described him as a witch.

That one stopped her.

Haruhi was one of the Hosts. The Hosts were all guys. The  _Daily Prophet_ article described Fleur as the only girl in the competition. Haruhi had dressed in men's formal robes for the ball. Haruhi had taken Ginny to the ball. At the end of the ball, the Ouran guys danced with a girl whose dress had kept changing. The spell ended at midnight. The girl disappeared with Mori just before the end of the ball. Ginny had left with Harry. Just before midnight. In the back of her mind, a lightbulb popped on.

"Oh," was all she said.

Kyoya gave her an amused glance for the length of time it took her to figure it out. "I trust you can keep a secret?"

Hermione nodded. "I keep several." She'd ask Haruhi later if she wanted this particular secret kept.

~oOo~

Haruhi sat down on the pier with a disgruntled thump and glared at her senpai. "Did you have anything to do with this?"

"No," Tamaki said. "This was all Kyoya's idea."

"Hmp." Her glare subsided a little.

"Although I might have been the one to suggest Misuzu."

The glare returned.

"Oh come on, Haruhi," Tamaki said, "Kyoya only did it because he knows how much you love your father and how much you worry about him being all alone while you are here."

"And what happens when the tournament is over and we go home?"

"He can stay here or sell the restaurant and go back too."

"I suppose," she said grudgingly. "You really think this restaurant can work?"

"Let's ask the clients." Tamaki smiled again at the blushing mermaids. "What do you think of the food?"

"Oh sweet Neptune, it's amazing! I didn't know there this many different types of fish in the world!" gushed the purple-haired mermaid.

"You even have different types of seaweed," added the green haired one.

"That's actually lettuce," Haruhi felt obliged to say.

"And they have these things called sauces, and if you put them on the food above water, they don't wash off and it totally changes the flavor!"

The dark green haired one looked around conspiratorially, "Although I usually eat this green one under water because it does weird things to my eyes and tongue."

Tamaki nodded sympathetically. "Wasabi does that to a lot of people."

"My mom even likes this place. She comes and trades recipes with Misuzu and, well, she's sweet on your dad." The purple haired girl looked embarrassed but pleased.

"My dad?" Haruhi said.

The mermaid nodded. "Sometimes after the restaurant closes, they even go for a moonlit swim."

"My dad is dating a mermaid?" Haruhi said.

~oOo~

Hermione felt guilty all the way through a delicious lunch of hot soup, teppanyaki grilled chicken and rice, and ice cream for dessert, all the more so because she knew Harry and Ron were stealing food from the Gryffindor table for Sirius. When they getting ready to leave the restaurant, Hermione saw Krum on the street heading their way and used that as her excuse to get away. "Sorry," she said ducking behind the Hosts. "Would you mind if I sneak out the back?"

"Why?" Haruhi asked.

"You know how when you were first chosen as champions and that reporter did that piece on Harry?"

"Yeah," Haruhi said. She'd actually been relieved that the unexpected Champion had stolen the spotlight because she hadn't wanted to be in it.

"Somehow the reporter changed me from friend into girlfriend, and we're not. We're just friends. So when I went to the Yule Ball with Viktor and then I was his rescuee during the second task, that horrible woman did a piece telling the world that I was two-timing Harry and just out for fame. And all these people who I'd never even met got mad at me and sent me hate mail. It's finally starting to die down but if I'm seen with him now, it'll just start all over again. Especially since I told Harry I'd help him with ... something this afternoon. I know it's not fair to Viktor. He's really sweet but I just..."

"Go," said Mori. "We'll explain it to him."

"You guys are the best," Hermione said regretfully as she slipped out the back.

Krum came in and looked around. "Is Hermy-own-ninny here?"

"Nah," said Hikaru. "She already left."

"Oh," said Krum and he sat down despondently. "Vhy can I not vin a lady's heart?" He looked up at Tamaki. "The vomen all love you. Could you teach me? I know I am not as handsome as you, but it cannot all be looks."

"You...are asking my help?" said Tamaki.

"Vell, yes."

"But you have lots of girls following you around," Kaoru said.

"But they are only interested in the fame and the money," said Krum. "Hermy-own-ninny is special. She does not care for all that; she sees the person you are."

"So... Hermione is your Haruhi?" Tamaki blinked a couple times, sorting through it all.

Krum gave Tamaki a very strange look. "I suppose. Except that your Haruhi is a guy."

"Men, we must help him! It is our duty as Hosts to remake this man into the kind that a woman could love. Operation Fix Viktor Krum has commenced!"

"Yes sir!" said the twins. This was always fun.

"Not again," said Haruhi. This was always a disaster.

"You have objections, Haruhi?" Kyoya said, making a note in his black notebook.

"Oh, I don't know. Kasanoda, Shiro, Nekozawa-senpai."

"They all more or less worked out in the end," Kyoya said. "And it kept the idiots busy in the meantime."

"Now then," Tamaki said circling around Krum, examining him, "if fame is the problem, we must make him less famous."

"We could break his fingers," said Hikaru, cracking his own knuckles in preparation.

"Yeah, if he can't catch a snitch, his fame will go away like  _that_ ," Kaoru snapped his own fingers for emphasis.

"Vhat?" Krum said, alarmed.

"But the Quidditch World Cup is already passed," pointed out Honey. "His fame won't go away fast enough."

"Then we must make him  _look_  like he is not famous," Tamaki reasoned.

"I do not think fame is the problem," Krum said, sitting on his hands just in case. "Harry Potter is most famous and she does not avoid him."

"That's because he wears glasses," Tamaki said. "Men who wear glasses seem more vulnerable and therefore less intimidating."

Haruhi looked over at Kyoya. "On what planet?"

"Exactly my point!" Tamaki said. "Kyoya wears glasses and the most beautiful girl in the school is falling all over herself for him."

"I do not think she likes him because he vears glasses," said Krum.

But the Hosts were not listening. Kaoru transfigured a drinking glass into the ugliest pair of eyeglasses imaginable: heavy, blocky frames with huge saucer-like lenses as thick as his pinky. They put them on Viktor whose eyes dilated open and closed trying to adjust; he saw double of everything and both of them were blurry. "I am not sure this vill vork."

"Possibly not," said Tamaki tapping his finger against his lips. "Hermione is a commoner and you are still dressed too well. Hikaru! Take care of it."

"You got it, boss!" He waived his wand and Krum found himself wearing a stretched out, oversized, slightly snagged, faded plum colored sweater over a rumpled button up dress shirt.

"Hey now!" Haruhi squawked, recognizing the sweater as the one she wore the first time she set foot in Music Room 3.

"What? He said make it a commoner's sweater," Hikaru said.

"And that is  _the_  ugliest sweater we've ever seen," added Kaoru.

"Bar none," said Kyoya.

"It _is_  pretty bad, Haru-chan," Honey said.

"Hn," Mori agreed.

"Now then, go forth and win your lady love!" Tamaki commanded.

Krum stood up, swayed dizzily, tripped over a chair, ran into the door post, put his arms out in front of him to prevent anymore mishaps and stumbled out into the street.

"Since you made him blind with those glasses, you should probably go with him," Haruhi scolded.

"Yes," said Tamaki, "but if he were standing next to my perfection, he would suffer by comparison."

~oOo~

Harry and Ron reached the stile, a dozen chicken legs, a loaf of bread and a flask of pumpkin juice stuffed in a bag. They scanned the area looking for signs of Sirius or Hermione. Neither were there yet, but hovering over the forest,a cockatrice dived abruptly then rose back up, a multi legged thing in its beak. It settled on a high rock, pecked once, killing its prey neatly and proceeded to eat. "What'd'ya reckon?" Ron said approvingly. "Two or three a week?"

"Each," said Harry.

"We should send an owl to Charley and tell him to thank those dragons," Ron said.

"Good idea," said Harry. "It'll give Hedwig something to do and if the Ministry intercepted her, they won't find anything suspicious or related to Sirius."

Hermione came up. "Sorry I'm late. I stopped by Honeydukes. I know sweets probably weren't what he was asking for, but Honeydukes chocolate'll cheer anybody up."

Just then a large, scruffy-looking black dog came trotting up, a newspaper in its teeth. "Hello Padfoot." Harry reached down and ruffled the dog's ears. The dog turned away and headed towards the hills and the trio followed him up a winding footpath, through the trees to a small cave. Once undercover, he transformed back into Harry's godfather. His thick, black dog fur gone, he looked thinner than ever. He still had on the ragged gray robes he'd worn when he broke out of Azkaban, his hair matted and unkempt from living in the wild. "Chicken!" He grabbed the bag and tore into the leg. "You've no idea how nice this is. I've been living off rats mostly so I don't draw unwanted attention in town." He washed it down with pumpkin juice and took a bite of bread.

"You shouldn't be here," Harry said. "What if you're caught?"

"Nobody in town knows I'm an animagus. They all think I'm a lovable stray. But I had to come. Something fishy is going on. The Dark Mark at the Quidditch World Cup. You were entered in that tournament. Ministry witches and wizards have gone missing or have been calling in sick. Somebody's brewing up trouble." He gnawed on the chicken bone thoughtfully. "I've been stealing old newspapers when the townsfolk throw them out. Things just aren't adding up." They discussed the odd happenings while Sirius wolfed down the chicken, but were no closer to figuring out who put Harry into the tournament or why. "No school was attached to your name?"

"Not according to Dumbledore or McGonagall."

"So you don't think it's related to them adding the Japanese school into the tournament?" Hermione said.

"Maxime and Karkaroff thought the Ministry might have screwed up the spell, but I kinda doubt it," Harry said.

"If not an accident, that makes it intentional. Did the Japanese do it?" Sirius said.

"And sabotage their own chances? Haruhi's said on several occasions that any of the others would have made better Champions," Harry said.

Hermione had to agree. "From what I've seen, that's not false modesty either. Those guys are  _really_  smart and  _really_  talented."

"And good looking and rich," Ron said sourly.

They all ignored Ron's obvious jealousy. Sirius scratched his beard thoughtfully. "So the last two names out of the Goblet were a mistake, but the others were ok?"

"Yeah," said Harry.

"No," said Ron. "I mean c'mon, Cedric Diggory as the Hogwarts Champion?"

"Cedric's good," said Harry. "Really good. He deserved to be chosen."

"Interesting. Sabotaging your own champion but leaving the others alone  _would_  be a good way to hide your involvement," Sirius thought out loud. "I don't know anything about this Chairman Suoh except he's richer than Malfoy. What's your take on him?"

"Don't have one. He's hardly ever here," Harry said.

"Which almost certainly clears him," said Hermione. "Most wizards rely on magic so heavily, they can't think logically. Their plans are pathetically straightforward or so insanely, needlessly complex, you'd have to babysit them day and night to make sure they don't go off the rails."

"You sure you're not just defending him 'cause you like those boys?" Ron said acidly.

"A lot of those old, rich, pure blood families harbored Death Eaters." Sirius backed him up.

"Like I said," Ron threw in.

"His son's not one, I can tell you that," Hermione said. "Bit full of himself, but the nicest guy you'll ever meet."

"The Chairman's tournament scoring seems fair enough," Harry said, "but he's only here during the actual competitions. Actually, all the students seem ok. Especially since their champion selection was apparently messed up by whatever got me."

"Any chance that kid's a target like you?"

Harry considered. "Haruhi's mother  _was_  murdered by Death Eaters and her dad raised raised her in hiding - I mean  _his_  dad," he corrected, looking at Hermione.

" _Her_  dad," Hermione said. "Took me long enough. I can't believe you figured it out before I did."

"What's this?" Sirius looked back and forth between them.

"Her mom was an attorney who crossed some Death Eaters. Her dad was a muggle so he raised her away from the wizarding world to protect her. There's also something with a vase I didn't quite catch, but the point is she's a girl who everyone thinks is a boy. And it needs to stay that way for a while longer."

"And her father's a muggle who everyone thinks is a squib," Hermione murmured softly to herself, then louder she added "Harry, you know how a lot of squibs have animals because they think it will improve their magical abilities?"

"You mean like Filch has that cat?" Ron said.

"Exactly," Hermione said. "Sirius, you're thin and filthy and could really use a bath if you don't mind my saying so."

"It has to be that way," said Harry.

"What if it didn't?" said Hermione. "Sirius, how would you feel about being a familiar to a squib?"

~oOo~

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this one is so late. I just got overwhelmed with work, health issues, and other projects. Thanks everybody for all the kudos and comments. Glad you're enjoying it.


	15. Matchmakers and Go-Betweens

 

* * *

 

 

~oOo~

 

"You think he'll be alright?" Harry asked as the trio looked over their shoulders at the Fishing Dragon.

"Given the way he smells, I can't imagine what Misuzu thought was 'refreshing' but I think so," Hermione said. "He'll have a warm spot by the fire to sleep and they're already stuffing him with all the table scraps. Hang on," she halted their progress, "I want to swing through town on our way back and get a subscription to the  _Daily Prophet._ Somebody's right about keeping informed."

They approached the square to find Krum, arms outstretched, trying to dodge the fifteen-foot-wide fountain that was right in front of him. "What are you doing?" Hermione asked.

"Um, I vas trying to find my way back to the school."

"Since when do you wear glasses?" said Ron.

"I sometimes vear glasses," Krum lied.

"Well they don't appear to be working for you, mate," Ron said.

"Oh, um, they are a new prescription?" Krum tried to sound convincing.

"Honestly Ron," Hermione rolled her eyes, "you can be so insensitive. Here Viktor, take my hand and we'll make sure you get back safely."

Krum entwined his fingers with hers. He had wondered earlier if the Ouran guys were having him on but now decided they were utterly brilliant. As they made their way back towards the castle, none of them noticed the bright green beetle buzzing in excitement as they passed by.

~oOo~

Padfoot sat down in front of the fire and collected his front legs and puffed his chest out showing his fine form to best advantage. If that disgusting rat Pettigrew could live for twelve years as a pet, then he, Sirius Black, could certainly manage for a few months. And  _he_  would be a useful canine companion, not some worthless rodent parasite. He drew himself up in his most dignified manner, emphasizing his proud, wolf ancestors. Or, you know, what would have been his ancestors if he'd actually been a dog.

"Oh, he's so cute!" the garish tranny rushed up and ruffled Padfoot's ears. "Aren't you, Snuffles? Little Snuffly-Wuffly?"

_Oh sweet Merlin, not that. He couldn't go for months on end being called Snuffly-Wuffly._

"Doesn't suit him, does it?" Ranka said, kneeling down to scratch his head. "Something more noble maybe..."

 _Oh please, yes. You tell him girl ... or ... um ... whatever._  Padfoot sent every iota of mental energy to support the good looking ... was that really a man? The other one was obviously a tranny but this one could pass anywhere. The two started gabbing away in rapid Japanese.  _Uh oh._  If they were going to speak Japanese to one another, Sirius wouldn't understand what they said any more than any other dog did.

After much petting and ruffling of fur, they seemed to settle on Kuro-something-or-other. Kuro for short. Whatever. It beat Snuffly-Wuffly. Then, "Aaagghhh! Fleas!"

Padfoot looked around wildly, hoping this wasn't a deal breaker on their side.

"I'll get him into the bath!"

"I'll get then lavender oil!"

Sploosh. Into a tub of warm water. A warm bath. Padfoot sunk happily into the tub. First warm bath in thirteen years. He could even forgive them for Snuffly-Wuffly. Then they rudely made him stand and soaped him up with rose scented shampoo, followed by a gardenia scented conditioner. ( _Seriously? Who conditions dog fur?_ he thought.) They drained the water and vigorously toweled him him off then doused him in lavender oil to repel the fleas. He smelled like a damned florist shop. Misuzu transfigured a hideously tacky earring into a hideously tacky dog tag and Ranka produced a bright blue silk ribbon that he tied into a perfect bow around Padfoot's neck. The three ate a quiet dinner in the kitchen then went upstairs. There were three bedrooms: one for Ranka, one for Misuzu and one that had been turned into a living room since the downstairs had been turned into a restaurant. When they each went to bed, Padfoot (now Kuro) laid down at the top of the stairs to guard them. They might be ridiculous squib trannies, but they were  _his_  ridiculous squib trannies.

~oOo~

Hermione unrolled her  _Daily Prophet_ at breakfast the next morning and her jaw dropped in a curious mixture of astonishment and anger.

_That selfish, social climbing girl was at her worst yesterday, toying with not one but two boys' affections. Hermione Granger, the longtime girlfriend of the Boy-Who-Lived, who callously rejected young, lonely Mr. Potter in favor of the more famous Viktor Krum and publicly humiliated the tragedy-stalked boy by attending the Yule Ball with the Bulgarian Seeker, was seen taking a long romantic walk with the Boy-Who-Lived, raising his hopes of a reconciliation. Alas, it was not to be, for as soon as she saw Mr. Krum in town, left the stunned Mr. Potter's side to stroll hand in hand with her new and obviously besotted suitor. Harry's eyes welled up with tears, unable to hide his grief at her betrayal..._

"Oh for heavens sake," Hermione said, put out. Another owl arrived, preventing her from finishing the article (not that she had any desire to). The note was short and to the point.

_You're a horrible and selfish girl. People like you should be expelled from Hogwarts. I will personally write to the board and recommend it._

Other owls began arriving, in ones and twos at first, but in fours and fives before breakfast was over.

_Harry Potter can do better than you. Go back where you came from, Muggle._

_You don't deserve either one of those boys._

_You must tell us what love potion you used because you're too ugly to get them without magic._

"They're all like that!" Hermione said dismayed.

She got five howlers, including one in German and another in a language she didn't even recognize.

"Bulgarian," Kyoya surmised, glancing over at the Slytherin table, from which Krum was looking over at her, pale and horrified.

 _Ugly is as ugly does. Now everyone will see you for what you are._ The letter then exploded and showered her in bubotuber pus. Hermione swelled up like a balloon. The Hosts all looked on her appalled. "Men!" Tamaki said. "We may have been too successful in transforming Viktor Krum. Now we must protect the target of his affection from the consequences of these nasty curses. Honey-senpai!"

"But I don't do that kind of magic!" Honey wailed. "I don't know anything about curses!"

"No, but we all know who does," Tamaki said.

"No!" Honey said.

"We can't!" Kaoru said.

"Don't say it boss," Hikaru said.

"We must call in... THE OURAN HIGH SCHOOL BLACK MAGIC CLUB!"

"Aaaagggghhhhh!" They all screamed. The twins grabbed each other in fear. Honey clutched onto Mori. "They're so scary."

Kyoya rolled his eyes. "If you morons are done, I'm going to take Miss Granger up to the school healer."

~oOo~

"Did Tamaki say you have a Black Magic Club? Because Haruhi told me they don't teach the Dark Arts at Ouran," Hermione said as they waited for Madame Pomfrey's potion to take effect.

"Oh, it's not a class. It's more of a special interest club."

A sinister laugh filled the room. "Did someone say Black Magic Club?" A black door slowly creaked open revealing five teenagers swathed in black cloaks. The tallest of the boys, a young man whose face was shrouded in the hood of his cloak stepped forwards, a lock of his greenish-black hair peeking out from beneath the hood.

"Nekozawa-senpai," the Host Club chorused, as they all showed up dragging Harry in tow.

"Hey, has that door always been there?" Hermione asked.

"You know, I've given up trying to figure out how these guys come and go," Harry said.

"And how may the Black Magic Club be of service?" Nekozawa let out a deep, forbidding laugh. Harry and Hermione glanced at each other, nervously.

"This lovely young lady has fallen afoul of some very petty people who have been sending her curses." Tamaki waived in Hermione's general direction.

"I see. And how many Beelzenef curse dolls will you want for your enemies?" The robed stranger held out a cute cat-shaped wooden figurine. Somewhere in the distance, a cat gave a short, angry yowl.

"I don't believe she regards them as enemies," Kyoya said, "I believe she merely wishes them to stop."

"How disappointing," Nekozawa shook his head. "But for that we must defer to the Princess of Curses, Reiko Kanazuki-kun."

The slender girl with long, straight, jet black hair and large eyes bowed and slipped off her cloak. She was wearing a cheerful yellow dress with a white collar; not exactly the portrait of a dark witch. Harry and Hermione relaxed a little.

She moved without a sound, gliding up to the shortest Host. "Mitsukuni Haninozuka, do not think traveling halfway around the world will free your captured soul!" She reached over and pulled a single hair out of Honey's head, tied it into a love knot with one of her own, then tucked it into a locket around her neck. "Possession curse #1."

Ok, never mind. She was creepy.

" 'Kay, 'kay!" Honey said brightly, kissing her cheek.

She made a study of Hermione. "Curses of unknown strength cast by unknown people... this calls for something special."

The Black Magic Club all held their breaths.

"I think," Reiko said in a measured tone, "this calls for a protection curse."

"Woo-hoo!" "Yay!" "Go for it!" "Kanazuka's specialty!" "Woot! Woot!" The friendly Black Magic Club all broke out in creepy cheering.

"Protection...  _curse?_ " Hermione said.

"Don't you mean a protection  _spell?"_  Harry added.

"Protection spells weaken every time they absorb a hex until they shatter like an old soap bubble," Reiko said. "Curses are much better." She took Hermione's hand and pulled out a golden pair of scissors shaped like a water demon, mouth pincers forming the blades, twisted tentacles forming the handles, and began trimming Hermione's ragged, disregarded fingernails into neat rounded curves, dropping the shavings into a small vial filled with an opalescent pastel pink liquid. Little clouds of sparkles puffed out of the bottle every time a nail clipping went in. When the last fingernail was trimmed, the girl shook the bottle thirteen times then opened the stopper and began painting the potion onto Hermione's manicured fingernails.

"What is that?" Hermione asked.

"Nail polish," Reiko said. "There's no reason a curse must be ugly." She then took the remaining polish and painted the word  _Protego_  across a small pocket mirror and handed it to Hermione. "Keep this with you and no spells of hurtful intent will reach you." She them turned back to Honey and handed him a parchment. "Curse #2: I have written your name 99 times. If you write it the one-hundredth time, you will not escape me."

"Ok," Honey said happily producing a quill.

"You're just going to let your friend get hit with a love spell without doing anything?"

"It's ok," Honey said. "I don't mind." He kissed her in the cheek. "See you when the competition's over."

The Black Magic Club left through the door they came by.

"Ok, that was weird," Harry said.

"You're all ok with the love spell?" Hermione said.

Kyoya gave her an amused look. "Have you ever considered what would happen if you threw a love charm on someone who already liked you?"

Hermione thought about it. "Nothing?"

"Reiko has a crush on Honey-senpai but does not know how to express it. So where a less awkward young lady might write a love note, she asks him to sign a curse parchment willingly," Tamaki said. "Same thing really."

"But you said her curses were real," Hermione looked down at her pink fingernails.

"Very real," Honey assured her.

"And very strong," Mori added.

"I realize we should probably have asked this earlier, but what exactly is a protection curse?" Harry said.

"Well you know how a protection spell absorbs and dissipates hexes and jinxes? A protection curse causes them to rebound on the caster."

~oOo~

A great snowy owl landed in front of Charley Weasley, let out a tired hoot and extended her leg so he could take the parchment tied to it. He gave her an owl treat and when he saw who the letter was from, gave her two more. "We have an owlery behind the supply shed," he told her. "Go rest up. Don't worry, I won't send you on the Ji in China or Diego in Costa Rica."

Hedwig hooted her thanks and flew off to find a quiet perch.

Charley opened the letter.

_Charley,_

_Percy's a real git, you know it? Harry and I tried to write him about his boss who's been missing work and skipping out on the Triwizard Tournament and all, and well, let's just say that no matter how dumb I can be, I'll never be the worst Weasley. You and Bill should have thumped him more._

_Anyway, Harry and I are writing so you can thank the dragons for us. We know they're not all in Romania with you but we don't know the other dragon handlers, so we'll start with you and make you do the rest. Oops. Harry says that's rude. But the point is the cockatrices have worked out great. We reckon between the two of them, they've probably eaten a hundred spiders or so already. Not all or even most, not by a long shot, but it's a good start. They haven't bothered anyone at school or in the village, so not even Percy can complain about them. Not that that would stop him. He seems to love complaining, especially if he can be officious at the same time. But Hagrid says even the centaurs have decided the cockatrices were a good idea. So tell the dragons thank you._

_And tell mum not to worry about Harry. (She won't listen to me.) McGonagall took the Champions down to the Quidditch Pitch and told them the third task was going to be a maze, so nothing too hard. Some of Hagrid's favorite creatures, no doubt, but Harry's pretty good at getting past those. Don't suppose we'll be lucky enough that they'll bring back the dragons? 'Course you probably can't tell us if they are. Here's hoping though._

_Take care,_

_Ron_

"Nice try, Ron," said Charley. "But given that Harry and Haruhi are buddies with the dragons, that would hardly be fair." He tucked the letter in his jacket pocket and headed up to the Short Snout's nest. On one hand, being able to talk to the dragons (sort of) meant they were not really studying them in the wild anymore. On the other hand, this was the first time (possibly ever) that a human was allowed to observe dragons' nests up close. He stood quietly at a respectful distance while she flamed her eggs, turned them gently with her nose, then flamed them again so they would be heated evenly. Done, she looked up at him.

He bowed as Harry had taught him. "Greetingss." He tried to cut the snake hiss short, but still didn't have it quite right.

She nodded at him with a kind of put-upon tolerance, but at least it wasn't the eye rolling he always got from the Horntail. "How eggs?" he asked. His dragon vocabulary had improved slightly, but it was still  _very_  limited.

"Good," she replied. "Hatch soon." She settled contentedly on the nest.

"The One-Raised-By-Snakes," Charley paused. Did Harry's name in dragon really mean what it sounded like? "The One-Raised-By-Snakes tell me tell you thank you for..." he stopped. He had no idea what the dragon word for 'cockatrice' was. He pulled out his wand and made a picture of one in the air.

The Short Snout perked up her head and began looking around. "The One-Raised-By-Snakes is here?"

"Um, no."

"Halalfelul! The One-Raised-By-Snakes is here!"

"Wait, no, that wasn't what I meant!" But the words came out in English.

Charley never saw her coming, never even saw her shadow; there was just a  _whoosh_  followed by claws striking stone a foot behind him.

"Where?" The Horntail looked around. When she didn't see him, she raised her head and sniffed. "Where is he?"

"Not here," Charley tried to explain. He pulled out the letter and froze. How in Merlin's name was he going to explain  _writing_  to dragons? "This talk for him."

The dragons eyed him dubiously. "Ok. Make it talk."

"Uhh...".  _Next time Harry, send a howler. Sure, it'll be yelling, but at least it will be in your own voice. "_ No...only talk if you know how."

"You know how?"

"Yes."

The dragons stared at the parchment some more. "It's not talking," the Horntail pointed out.

"You think he dreamed it?" the Short Snout said, peering at Charley closely. "Or maybe he has a brain sickness." She tapped him lightly with the back of her talon to see if he would fall over. (He didn't.)

"Maybe we should just go back to the human nest and check on things," the Horntail decided.

The blue dragon nodded excitedly. "And we can take this one and the One-Who-Heals can fix his brain." She leaned over to tell Charley the plan. "We go human nest."

"Uh, no. Just, um, no."

The Horntail put her nose inches from Charley's and said distinctly and clearly, "You take us human nest."

 _Oh, great. Either I get roasted by a dragon or get sent to Azkaban for illegally transporting dangerous animals across international borders and endangering hundreds of minors._ "Eggs hatch soon. Need mothers," he tried desperately.

"Bring eggs," the Horntail said promptly. Really, did she have to solve every problem?

"And bring others," the Short Snout added.

"Others...?" Charley hoped he wasn't hearing what he thought he was.

"Other dragons from human nest."

Really, Azkaban didn't sound so bad. Maybe a nice private cell with a view of the ocean where he could be lulled to sleep by seagulls and the screams of other prisoners in despair...

~oOo~

Mornings came indecently early to the Fishing Dragon. They were closed on Mondays to give the owners a day off, but they were up by 3:30 on Tuesday so they could floo down to London for the 4:00 a.m. Fish Market opening.

The bleary-eyed inhabitants of the cottage stumbled downstairs. Ranka set two cups on the table, poured the coffee, and turned to the fridge for some milk. He turned back to find the dog sitting in his chair, paws on the table, nose in the cup, lapping up the black coffee.

"No, no, no!" Ranka shrieked. "Coffee's not good for dogs!" Without lifting his nose more than a finger's breadth, Padfoot let out a menacing death-threat of a growl, then stuck his nose back into the coffee for a few more drinks. Done, he hopped out of the chair and went to stand by the fireplace. At least it took less coffee to wake him in dog form.

"Oh look, he wants to go with us!"

Misuzu activated the fireplace and they floo'd to Diagon Alley, but once on the muggle side of the Leaky Cauldron, it was Ranka who navigated the streets, bargained with the muggle fish vendors and arranged for the lorry to transport all of them and their purchases back to the Diagon Alley. Pure blooded Sirius Black, friend to pure bloods, half bloods and even a few muggle-borns had never before considered having an  _actual_   _muggle_  in his circle could be an advantage.

~oOo~

The letters to Hermione kept coming. "Honestly! Do people have nothing better to do?" Hermione said, exasperated. Against her better judgment, she opened a letter.  _You are as mean as a hag and now you are as ugly._  They all watched Hermione carefully.

Nothing happened.

Nothing at all.

It was weird.

Across the room however, unnoticed by the Gryffindor table, Millicent Bulstrode developed a large wart on her nose. And another on the forehead. She abruptly covered her face with a napkin and ran from the table.

Oblivious, Hermione and the others all continued to stare at the parchment, puzzled.

"Y'know, I reckon Hagrid was right," Ron said. "You should just chuck them all in the fire unopened."

"I suppose," Hermione said, but she opened the next one anyway.  _You stink,_  was all it said. A green gas sprayed in her face. All the Gryffindors tensed up.

Nothing happened.

After a few seconds, Kaoru took a cautious sniff. "You smell ok."

"You look ok," said George.

"What a lame joke," said Hikaru.

"You think she'd at least turn into a frog or something," Fred agreed.

Kyoya waved his wand over her. "There don't seem to be any hexes clinging to you." He gave a slight smile.

"How do you feel?" said Harry.

"Fine. I don't feel..."

But they never got to find out what Hermione felt or didn't feel because at that moment, what smelled like a large and powerful dungbomb went off right under Pansy Parkinson's nose. Everybody fled the Great Hall.

They milled about in the courtyard watching Filtch push his way through the students, demanding an explanation.

"Clearly someone is playing practical jokes," Snape said, glaring at the Gryffindors.

"He's got some nerve accusing us," Fred said.

"Like we'd ruin our own breakfast," George agreed.

"We'd definitely wait until after we were done eating," Fred said.

"Actually," Hermione looked at her pink fingernails, "I have a feeling I might be responsible."

" _I_  didn't see you cast any spells," Hikaru said.

"You didn't pull out a wand during breakfast at all," Kaoru agreed.

"She's not stupid enough to turn herself in for something she didn't do, is she?" Hikaru asked Ron.

"Maybe," said Ron.

"Men, we must protect this young lady from her own good intentions!" Tamaki proclaimed. "Kyoya, see to it!"

"As luck would have it, I have already obtained permission for us all to go check on Haruhi's father, even though it is not a regularly scheduled Hogsmeade weekend."

"Can we go too?" Harry jumped in. "Ron and I never got to try his restaurant." He really hoped that Sirius had a warm home and regular meals, but Harry couldn't exactly send an owl post to a dog so he had no way to check up on him.

~oOo~

It was still morning, so the Fishing Dragon was not yet open for business and the lane was quiet. As they approached the cottage, they could see Ranka out on the dock talking to the older mermaid.

"My dad is dating a mermaid," Haruhi said, still trying to wrap her head around it.

"Haruhi," Tamaki said gently, "your mother was smart and beautiful and kind, but she's gone and your father still has a lot of love left to give. He devoted himself to you, but you are no longer a child. Now, he's met someone. What they share in no way touches what your father and your mother had."

"No, I get that. I was just caught by surprise the other day," Haruhi said. "It's just that… It's just that she's a magical creature and my dad is  _not_  a wizard. I don't know how this could possibly work."

Kyoya arched an eyebrow. "I rather suspect that most men rescued by mermaids over the centuries were not wizards; after all, a wizard wouldn't need a mermaid's help to survive a shipwreck."

"But how can they..."

"Are you asking for a biology lesson?" Kyoya looked amused.

"No!" Haruhi looked horrified. Like any kid wanted to think of their parents doing  _that_. Fortunately, she was spared any further conversation when a large black dog came bounding out of the cottage. He practically bowled Harry, Hermione and Ron over as he jumped on them and licked their faces.

"Snuffles!" Hermione laughed as she playfully pushed the dog away.

Unlike the last time they had seen him, when he was thin and his fur was dirty and matted, now his fur was thoroughly brushed and glossy and smelled faintly of flowers. He sported a bright blue bow around his neck with a little tag that said, if lost, he should be returned to the Fishing Dragon Restaurant.

Ranka came running out and grabbed Sirius by the collar. "Kuro! Down!" He looked up the trio. "I'm so sorry. He's usually so well behaved."

"Kuro?" said Harry.

" 'Snuffles' just wasn't a suitable name for a dog this handsome, so we renamed him," Ranka said.

"It means 'Black,'" Haruhi supplied helpfully.

The trio look at each other alarmed. They really wished those two could have picked a different name.

"Dad, when did you get a dog?" Haruhi said.

"Hermione gave him to me," Ranka beamed at her.

The Hosts all looked over at her. "Oh, um, he's a stray that we've known for a while. But he needed a home and I thought, being new in town, your dad and Misuzu could use a big guard dog. You know, to keep nosey neighbors away." Yeah. That sounded credible.

"He's such a good dog, I can't believe he was a stray!" Ranka said. "He knows all the commands and is so helpful, it's like he understands what you are saying! He seats the customers and takes them their menus. And Hermione was right. Misuzu says spells are so much easier and more precise when he's around.  _I_  can even do a little magic!"

Harry glared at Sirius as if to say  _too much!_

Mori looked at the dog curiously, knelt down and held out his hand. Not knowing what else to do, Sirius padded over, sniffed his hand and sat down.

Mori made a low rumbly barking sound. Sirius cocked his head sideways and wagged his tail tentatively. Mori woofed. Sirius again looked confused.

 _Oh shit!_ Harry suddenly realized what was going on. "Why don't we take him for a walk so you can visit? Want to go for a walk boy? Walk?"

Like any dog in the world, Sirius's head swiveled around, ears perked up. He bounded back to Harry.

Mori eyed the Hogwarts students thoughtfully as they left with Kuro.

"Takeshi?" Honey said quietly, watching his cousin carefully.

"Ranka said Kuro was unusually well trained, so I asked him why he was alone, what happened to his pack."

"And what did he answer?"

"He didn't. He doesn't speak Canine."

~oOo~

Harry, Ron and Hermione headed out in the direction of the hills instead of through town. "Whew," Harry breathed, once they were safely out of there.

Snuffles (now Kuro) changed back into Sirius, shaking his head vigorously. None of the trio wanted to point out he was still sporting a large blue bow around his neck. "I will never understand why people insist on barking at dogs and meowing at cats as though they can actually speak."

"Uh... he  _can_  speak to dogs," Harry said.

"I gather you didn't understand him," Hermione said, half hoping.

"What? No," said Sirius. "I mean dogs don't have a complex language. Do they?"

"If Mori was talking to you, I'm guessing they do."

"Which means he knows I'm not really a dog. Damn."

"Maybe he just thinks you're a stupid dog," Ron offered. "Or that there an accent problem. Harry said the dragons made fun of his accent."

"Maybe. How fluent is he?"

"From what we saw with the dragons and cockatrices, probably native speaker fluent."

"Hm. Well, it was nice while it lasted. Companionship, a comfortable home, a spot by the fire, and that Misuzu can really cook. There are house elves that could take lessons from that man."

"You do look better," Hermione said. It was true. Sirius had put on a little weight, he no longer had that lean, half-starved look about him. He had obviously had a bath or several. His hair was clean and well brushed. "You even smell better."

"I smell like a posey," he said, "but the lavender does get rid of the fleas." He sighed. "Oddly, it's the company I'm going to miss the most. They're magically incompetent and half crazy, but very likable."

"You've been covering for them magically?" Ron said.

"Yeah. Nothing much, but like the other day a customer knocked his drink off the table and Ranka said not to worry. Then I sent a mop out to clean it up. Nothing flashy, but the restaurant was full and everyone assumed Ranka did it. Consensus in town is that he's not a great wizard, but he's just this side of a squib so he's ok."

"That's very nice of you," Hermione said.

"It's very selfish of me. My comfy home depended on it."

"We kept their secret, maybe they'll keep ours," Harry said.

"There's a bit of a difference between a girl pretending to be a boy and your dog's an unregistered animagus wanted for murder," Hermione pointed out. "Even if you didn't do it," she amended.

"I was  _pretty mad_  when I found out Scabbers was really an animagus hiding out. Betrayed by a pet and all," Ron said.

"Yeah but your pet really was a murderer," Harry said.

"Ron's right," Sirius said, shaking his head. "They won't forgive this. Just tell them I meant no harm. Or if you prefer, you can say you didn't know."

"Or you could apologize yourself," Hermione said. "I don't mind telling them it was my idea because it was. And I'm going to apologize. So you should come too, otherwise they won't believe you meant no harm."

"Are you mental?" Ron said. "Yeah, they  _might_  forgive him, or they  _might_  turn him in."

"Don't know if you have a choice really," Harry said. "C'mon, you heard them. Half of Hogsmeade knows Kuro is their dog. If the dog suddenly disappears, people will ask why. Even if you can't stay, we need to ask them to keep the secret."

~oOo~

Kyoya set down his teacup and wandered out on the lane to where Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai were leaning on the milestone.

"You should go back in the house, Kyo-chan."

"Tamaki has the mermaids distracting Ranka, the twins distracting Haruhi, and he is distracting Misuzu, and if you don't realize what a sacrifice that second one is, you don't know how much he cares about Haruhi. I am of more use out here."

It was quite some time before the Hogwarts students came down out of the hills, the black dog padding beside them. Hermione withered under Kyoya's gaze, as though she had fallen short of his expectations. Harry felt like he had betrayed one of the very few people who had not reacted badly when he found out Harry was a parcelmouth. Ron looked at Honey and just blinked. The sunny little Host who liked cutesy things, sweets and was always a bit silly stood in front of him uncompromising and serious. The two groups stared at each other, Kyoya finally breaking the silence. "Care to explain?"

 _Not really_ , thought Harry. Ron, who had learned from experience and from watching his brothers get grilled by their mother, knew that you never explain anything until you know exactly how much the other person knows. Hermione, unfortunately, was an only child who grew up with parents she trusted. "It was my fault," she volunteered. "I actually thought it was a good idea at the time, after all, he needed a place to live and a place to hide and they need a real wizard to keep an eye on them. I mean if this was a mixed town like Godric's Hollow it wouldn't be a big deal, but they don't even have many mixed wizard/muggle marriages in Hogsmeade . And he really is a nice man and he's completely innocent of all the charges against him." This last raised Kyoya's eyebrow.

"Nice going, Hermione," Ron said.

"Charges?" Mori said.

Harry let out a frustrated breath. "He's my godfather." Harry gestured at Padfoot. Sirius's reputation had been so thoroughly trashed by the media that Harry was afraid to use his name. Any mention of "Sirius Black" and the Ouran guys might stop listening. "Voldemort murdered my parents after someone they thought was a friend betrayed them. And that person framed my godfather for it. Then to avoid any further inquiry, he faked his own death, killing a bunch of innocent bystanders in the process, and framed my godfather for that too. And he did such a convincing job that they sentenced Kuro here to Azkaban for life."

"If he was innocent, why didn't he testify under veritaserum that he didn't do it?" Kyoya asked.

"He was never given a trial," Harry said. "Last year, my godfather escaped and tracked down the guilty man. We thought that would clear him or at least get him a fair hearing, but the real killer got away and the Ministry wasn't interested in what a bunch of teenagers had to say. They sent the dementors to administer the kiss without even hearing us out."

Honey looked thoughtful. "So somebody in your Ministry doesn't want the truth to come out." He stared at Padfoot long and hard, them at Harry. "And you genuinely believe this version of events to be true?"

"Yeah."

Honey's eyes narrowed. "And would he swear _to us_  under veritaserum that he is innocent of the charges for which he went to prison, that he has never killed anyone and that he has no intention of directly or indirectly harming either Ranka or Misuzu, nor will he lead them into a situation which will cause them to be harmed?"

Padfoot nodded.

Honey stared him down until Padfoot looked away first, then the little blond looked up cheerfully, the gravitas gone. "'Kay! 'Kay! Anybody else have a problem?"

"No," said Mori.

"I have not," said Kyoya, "although I give fair warning, it would be unwise to cross us."

Harry blinked. All three of them did. "Really?" said Ron.

"So... how do we tell Ranka and Misuzu?" Harry asked.

"Why would we tell them?" said Kyoya.

"Well, if he's going to live with them, shouldn't they know?" Hermione said.

"In the event they are accused of harboring a criminal, I think it better for them to be able to say they had no idea."

.

As the assembled group sat down to lunch, Kyoya excused himself and went upstairs to the private living room area, where he summoned a house elf and instructed her to bring him a single dose of veritaserum. He adjusted his shirt collar in the mirror while he waited for her to return when he heard a voice.

"The threat was unnecessary. I wouldn't do that, you know. Betray those foolish men."

Kyoya turned around to see an unfamiliar man with shoulder length sandy brown hair in a brown coat, tan shirt and an incongruous blue silk bow around his neck.

"I don't know if you can understand this, but I came from a very old, very wealthy, pure-blood line," the strange man said. "All my life people were only interested in being friends with me for what they could get out of me - connections, favors - and if I'm being honest, I was only friends with them for the same reasons. And then I met James. We started off as just schoolmates, but we became real friends. He couldn't care less about my family, what they were like or how much money they were worth. He just wasn't impressed. I suppose it helped that his family was also pure-blood and rich, but he didn't care about that either. We put together a little club, with the kind of friends you think you'll have forever. But then death - or life - takes them away, and you realize how very much those friendships were worth. James was Harry's father. That makes Harry the only family, the only really close friend I have left. What I'm trying to say is that I've had so few real friends, I would never betray one. Not for any price. Those very strange men, Ranka and Misuzu, they took me in. They expect nothing in return. I wouldn't hurt them nor will I allow them to be hurt." Kyoya blinked and the brown haired man became a black dog and padded from the room leaving Kyoya alone with the mirror.

.

 _Sirius wasn't kidding,_  thought Harry.  _That Misuzu can really cook. This restaurant is going to have no problems staying busy._ He also couldn't help but notice that Misuzu and Ranka kept slipping Padfoot small bites throughout the meal. Sirius was going to get fat if he wasn't careful. They said their farewells and started out when a chorus of giggling, kawaii voices called out, "Harry! Harry Potter!" He turned to see the mermaid trio waving at him. He waved back uncertainly and they called him over to the water's edge.

"Hi Harry, you remember us?" said the dark green haired one.

"We helped you get back to shore after your spell wore off and you couldn't swim anymore," added the purple haired one.

"And we got your friends out of the water too."

"Uh, yeah. Thank you for that, by the way."

"Well we were wondering if you could do us a favor..." the green one smiled coquettishly.

"Sure, what?"

"You know that boy with eyes like the sky and hair like the sun?" the purple one said with a little sigh.

Harry followed their gaze over the the Ouran guys. "Which one? The tall one or the short one?"

"The one that said I was the mermaid that saved him from a sea of loneliness," the green haired mermaid said dreamily. "He's wonderfully charming and romantic, but we know he's not likely to stay with us in the lake. And he really likes that girl who was in the race to rescue your friends."

"Yeah?" Harry said, then realized where this was going.  _No! Absolutely not! The last time I got mixed up in those guys' romances, I got abducted repeatedly and had like a zillion points docked from Gryffindor. Not happening again._  "How do you know she's a girl?"

The mermaid rolled her eyes. "The boys and girls of your kind don't look much alike when your clothes get wet."

"Anyway," said the other, "we were hoping you could help us get them together for a dinner. You know, down by the lakeside. The skies will be clear and the moon will be reflecting off the water, and we'll get a mermaid choir to sing, and maybe even get the luminescent squid to school past."

"I .. I really don't know," said Harry.

"Please?" The mermaids chorused together.

"We'll set everything up," said the light green haired one. "All we need is someone to convince them to come. Please?"

They did help him and Ron and Haruhi, and it would have been much harder to get everyone safely to shore without them. "Alright, but all I can promise is to get them to the lakeside. The rest is all up to you."

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" They bounced up out of the water and kissed him on either cheek before diving back under the surface. What the hell, he owed them.

His one consolation was that the dragons would never know he betrayed their favorite cause.

 

~oOo~

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never intended to depart from HP cannon this far, but I really missed the dragons. Besides, if nobody else has ever had a date with Haruhi go smoothly, why should Tamaki?
> 
>  
> 
> For the anime fans: Reiko Kanazuka is a character from the Manga. She's a member of the Black Magic Club who develops a crush on Honey but mistakes it for Honey stealing her soul and keeps putting curses on him to steal his in return, which of course freaks out the Host Club. It's an adorable episode; I'm sorry the anime didn't make it that far.


	16. Enterprises of Great Pith and Moment

* * *

 

~oOo~

Charley Weasley couldn't figure out a way to word the letters to Ji and Diego that didn't sound like "Please bring your dragons back to Hogwarts. The Horntail will eat me if you don't." Not to mention there was no good way to explain to the dragons what was going on. Neither Ji nor Diego had picked up even the measly hundred-word vocabulary that Charley had. He chewed on the problem a bit before he realized he had the answer all along. He showed the dragons how to make howlers. He held up the parchment. "We make this talk."

The Horntail eyed him skeptically. "You tried that before. It didn't work."

The Short Snout tapped him with her claw to see how steady he was on his feet. "You think the brain sickness is getting worse?" she said worriedly.

"This work," Charley said, batting her claw away from his head. He cast the spell and said forcefully into the parchment, "Paper can talk!" He completed the charm and sent it zooming up until it was eye level with the Horntail where it opened up and shouted, "PAPER CAN TALK!" Then it burst into flames.

The dragons blinked in surprise. It was hard to say what delighted them more, the voice or the puff of fire. Their feet stomped a little in excitement. "Do it again! Do it again!"

"Do me now!" the Short Snout commanded.

Charley made a second one and sent it to the blue dragon. "SEE? I NOT BRAIN SICK!"

The Short Snout looked a little confused. "How would making thin wood talk fix your brain?"

Charley gritted his teeth but moved on. "Fine. You do now. When I say, you talk."

"And say what?"

"You talk other dragons."

"They're not here."

"I send this to them. They hear your voices."  _And with luck,_  he thought,  _they won't want to come. But you can't blame me for not trying. After all, their eggs will soon be hatching if they haven't already and besides, dragons were solitary creatures. Any predator that large would have to be. This friendship the five mothers formed was most unusual._

In the end, it took eight tries to get the three recordings they needed. The dragons kept talking over each other and of course they wanted to hear their own voices which destroyed the howlers.

~oOo~

Ji bowed to the Fireball. He created an image of the Horntail and the Short Snout with his wand and released the red envelope which floated upward until it was eye level to the red dragon. It folded itself into an origami dragon's head and began to roar in what sounded like two overlapping dragon voices and a protesting human voice.

"It's us!" "We're going back to the human nest!" "We're going to check on the fledglings." "Also our human has brain sickness." "I do not!" "We're going to see if the One-Who-Heals can fix him." "I not brain sick!" "You need to come too." "Our human says move your head up and down if you want to come and side to side if you don't." "Sorry about that Ji." (That last one was in English.) The howler burst into flames. The Chinese dragon blinked in surprise then tapped the ashes gingerly to see if they would make any more noise. When they didn't, she lowered her head to human height and moved it up and down the length of his body. He wasn't entirely sure she wasn't measuring how many bites it would take to eat him if he refused.

~oOo~

Harry, Ron and Hermione were practicing stunning spells to prepare Harry for the upcoming task. Mostly it involved Harry stunning Ron who was falling backwards towards some cushions, missing them as often as not, while Hermione corrected Harry's form. The door opened and Haruhi and the twins came in. "Oops, wrong classroom," Haruhi said. "I'm still getting turned around in this castle."

"What are you doing?" said Hikaru, seeing the large pile of cushions.

"Practicing for the next task," said Harry.

"Ok, let's see," said Hikaru.

Harry stunned Ron who fell backwards towards the cushions, but at the last second, Hikaru flicked his wand and the cushions shot out of the way. Ron hit the floor with a loud thud. The twins cracked up.

"That wasn't nice," Haruhi said.

"No, but it was hilarious," said Kaoru.

Ron recovered from being stunned and angrily sent the pillows flying at Hikaru, hitting him hard enough to send him sprawling backwards onto the bare floor.

"You're right," Harry said to Kaoru, "that is hilarious."

Hikaru threw one at Harry and a magical pillow fight ensued, engulfing all six of them. Somebody  _Geminied_  one of the pillows so every time it hit someone, it duplicated itself and before they knew it, they were stumbling, knee deep in pillows. They all fell backwards with one big ploof, multiplying cushions and dissolved into laughter.

For Harry, it was such an enormous relief from being worried about the upcoming third task, worried about Sirius's safety, worried about what the Ouran guys would do when they found out that Sirius was staying with Haruhi's father under iffy pretext. "Thanks, you guys. I needed that."

"Me too," said Haruhi. "I've been so worried about this tournament and my dad and schoolwork. I don't think your Professor Snape likes me very much."

"He doesn't like anybody," said Ron.

"That's not true," said Hermione. "I've got a lot of Ravenclaws in my Arithmancy class and they say he's hard but fair. It's just Gryffindors he can't stand."

"What did  _any_  Gryffindor  _ever_  do to him?" Ron said indignantly.

"Yeah, well, I've always been pretty good in potions," said Haruhi. "After my mom died, Dad put away all her things except her cookbooks. She kept a lot of her potion recipes in them, so making them made me feel closer to her and was the only magic I got to do before starting school. Then last week, Professor Snape tells me that my essay on Wiggenweld Potions was 'marginally acceptable' so now I have to go after class to see if I can actually brew what I have 'so glibly described.' "

The Hogwarts trio stared at her. "That's the nicest thing I've heard him say to anyone who wasn't a Slytherin," said Ron.

"That's a very advanced potion," added Hermione. "He wouldn't waste the ingredients if he didn't want to see if you could do it."

"Oh," said Haruhi. "He made it sound like an insult rather than a compliment."

"Everything sounds like an insult when Snape says it," Ron grumbled.

"Unfortunately, what I need to be doing is preparing for the next task and since we can't take potions in with us and I doubt we'll have time to make one while we're in there..." Haruhi said.

"What  _do_  you think will be in there?" Kaoru said.

"Dunno," said Harry.

"Skrewts, probably, if they haven't all killed each other off by then," said Ron.

They all looked at him. "What?" He said. "It's illegal to breed something like that and since Malfoy complained and Hagrid didn't get sacked and the skrewts weren't destroyed, he must've had permission."

"That's...really clear thinking Ron," Hermione grudgingly admitted.

"Well you don't all have to look so surprised," said Ron.

Harry returned to the original question. "Probably most of the things we had to fight through first year. It's a hedge maze so there will definitely be Devil's Snare."

"The troll, maybe. Probably not the life size Wizards' Chess, that would take too long to play across, but the attack keys and the logic potions maybe," Hermione said.

"That's what they do to you first year?" said Hikaru.

"Your school's warped," said Kaoru.

"They don't do it to everybody," Harry said. "We kinda broke the rules and walked into it."

"What are the Japanese likely to put in there?" Hermione asked.

The Hosts thought about it. "If you're talking deadly plants, a  _Furutsubaki no rei_ maybe. They're like malevolent dryads who transfigure their victims and use their new form against them. For example, one turned a passing merchant into a bee then lured him to his death with a poison flower," Haruhi said.

"Or a Yuki-onna maybe. They're kinda like female dementors, freezing you and sucking out your essence," Kaoru said.

"Think they'd put an actual dementor in there?" said Ron.

"Too hard to control, I think," said Hermione. "All those spectators, it might not stay in the maze. But a boggart's likely."

"What's that?" asked Hikaru.

"A shapeshifter. It becomes the think you fear the most," explained Harry.

"We have one of those, only it becomes the thing you love," said Haruhi.

"How is that scary?" said Ron.

"You saying if someone you cared about was in trouble, you wouldn't drop everything and run over to them and do what they asked?"

"Oh, yeah."

Hermione sighed. "Much as I hate to break this up, if we don't, we're going to be late to class."

They stood up, then Harry immediately fell back onto the cushions.

"Oh c'mon, Harry," Hermione said. "Skiving off classes this late in the year - even something as pointless as Divination- isn't a good idea. I told you you should have taken something useful and interesting like Arithmancy or Ancient Runes ... Harry?"

He stared blankly up at the ceiling a few more minutes, then clutched his scar and screamed in pain.

"Harry!  _Harry_!"

Harry blinked as he tried to see where he was; his scar was burning so badly, his eyes were watering.

"You alright mate?" Ron said.

"Hikaru, go get Madame Pomfrey."

"No," said Harry. "I need to see Dumbledore."

"You sure?" Haruhi said as she stared dubiously at his pale and sweaty form. "You look like you could use a healer."

"Dumbledore," he reiterated. "Voldemort's plans are back on track, whatever that means."

They helped him to his feet. "Oh, and Haruhi," he ran his fingers through his hair, "I know this is a really strange thing to ask right now, but would you have dinner with Tamaki and the mermaids by the lake tonight? I promised the mermaids I'd ask."

~oOo~

In the Gryffindor Common Room that evening, Harry, Ron and Hermione clustered around a little table like the French Underground exchanging Axis troop movements. "Ok, go over it one more time, just to make sure I have all the details," Hermione said.

Harry nodded. "In the dream, I was riding on the back of a messenger owl. Whatever news it brought was good enough that Voldemort decided not to kill Wormtail, he'd settle for just torturing him instead."

Ron looked puzzled. "How exactly does this guy attract followers?"

"Probably the same way muggle tyrants do," Hermione said. "They draw you in by telling you what you want to hear, then they make you afraid to back out."

"Then when I was in Dumbledore's office, I saw Barty Crouch's trial in the pensieve. Given how stone cold merciless his father was to him, I have no trouble believing that man sent Sirius to Azkaban without a trial. His son didn't even get much of one." Further elaboration was cut short when a loud scraping noise caught the attention of everybody in the Common Room. It sounded a bit like when the tree scratched against the walls of the Dursley's house on Privit Drive, but the high walls of the tower were stone and would hardly notice a tree even if there was one close enough or tall enough, which there wasn't. Harry started to hear a muffled conversation, not unlike the sound of the basilisk talking to itself in the walls second year. But there were no plumbing pipes large enough for a basilisk running through the tower.

"Is he there?"

"I don't know, do I? I'm just starting to look."

"It smells like he's in there."

"It's hard to see through this little hole."

"Then knock some stones out of the way."

"If you do that, the nestlings will fall out. They can't exactly fly."

"The One-raised-by-snakes can fly."

"I think they need a stick to fly."

"Is he in there or not?"

"If you'd stop bumping me, maybe I could see."

"Well let me look."

There was a prolonged scrabbling noise. "Go look through a different hole in the stone," an irritated voice said. "There are lots of them."

Scratching on the outside of the tower was followed by a hysterical scream from one of the girls' bedrooms and Romilda Vane came bolting down the stairs. "There's a ... there's a ... there's a..."

"Dragon," Harry finished for her. He went to the window and opened the leaded glass. Somehow, he was not surprised to find the Horntail with her claws embedded in the lintel around the window in definite possession of the opening, nor the Short Snout trying to nudge her way in, nor the Welsh Green higher up, peering into the girl's dormitory. The Fireball sinuously wound around the Tower as soon as Harry spoke. "What are you all doing here?"

"We came to check on you!" said the Green.

"Also, the Red One has brain sickness. We brought him so the One-that-heals can fix him."

"The Red One?" Harry looked over at the Fireball, concerned.

"Not her," the Horntail said. "The human you tried to teach to speak."

"You didn't do a very good job," the Short Snout said confidentially.

"Sorry, I didn't have much time," said Harry. "What makes you think he's sick?"

"He keeps insisting that large yellow tree leaves can talk," the Snort Snout fretted.

"That does sound pretty strange," Harry agreed, wondering if it was a symptom of dragon pox or something. "Where is he?"

"We perched him where he won't make anyone else sick or wander off and get hurt."

"What's going on?" Ron said.

"The dragons say your brother is sick," Harry said.

"What's wrong with him?" Ron said worriedly.

"I'm trying to find out." Harry waived him to be quiet.

The air took on a heavy, thick feel with a downdraft. Harry looked up to see the feathered serpent settle on the conical roof of the tower, and snake once around the perimeter before flowing over the eaves like a rainbow waterfall to greet the others. She touched noses with each of the dragons, even sliding her head in between the Horntail and the window. Harry found himself staring at the upside-down head of the Quetzalcoatl. Not knowing what else to do, he leaned forward. She touched his nose and sniffed, verifying, he supposed, that it really was him. Her feathers perked up in pleasure as she drew her head back and looked at the Horntail. "Why do you have your human on the peak?"

"Wait!  _He's on the roof?_ " Harry said.

"We told you we perched him somewhere safe." The Short Snout nodded confirming the Horntail's words.

"Don't worry," the Welsh dragon added. "We made sure he doesn't have a flying stick so he can't wander off."

" _How is that safe?"_ Harry shouted. "What if he falls?"

"Oh please," the Horntail rolled her eyes. "I can catch a peregrine in a full stoop. You think I can't catch a human tumbling off a pile of rocks?"

"Without hurting him?" Harry asked.

"Oh." The dragons looked puzzled as though they hadn't considered that aspect of the equation. The little human had a point. Most of the time when they snatched something out of the air it's because they intended to kill it and eat it.

Harry leaned out the window. "Charley! Are you up there?"

"Harry! Would you tell them to get me down!"

"Ron, get your broom. We need to rescue your brother."

"What if he falls off the flying stick?" the Short Snout worried.

"He won't," Harry assured them. "He was the Gryffindor Quidditch Seeker before me." Then he realized that meant nothing to the dragons. "He's really good at flying."

"He's brain sick," the Fireball reminded him.

" _I not brain sick_!" Charley yelled.

"Can tree leaves talk without bursting into flame?" the Horntail asked.

"Yes," Charley answered.

"Brain sick," the dragons all nodded.

Harry was getting a headache. "Ok, but if he is, then we need to get him down before he falls. So let me go get him and bring him inside. And we can walk through the ... um ... caves to the one where the One-who-heals is. That way if he falls, he's already on the ground and won't hurt himself."

The dragons appeared to consider. "He is bigger than you," the Horntail said. "If he ran away, you couldn't stop him. We'd better just take him ourselves."

"I'll get him!" the Welsh Green said. She launched herself upwards then returned with Charley in her front claws. Great blasts of air rattled the other windows of the tower as she attempted to hover. "Which cave has the One-who-heals?"

Harry grabbed his forehead, about to start pulling out his hair. "Ron, go run tell Madame Pomfrey we're bringing her a patient.  _Accio Firebolt!_ " he said, pulling out his wand.

Fred, George and Ron all took off at a dead run while Harry mounted his broom and swept through the sky followed by five dragons.

"Wicked," said Seamus, watching them go.

~oOo~

There was no way Ron and his brothers were going to make it through the twisting, ever changing corridors of Hogwarts faster than Harry and the dragons could fly there, even though he led them in a wide arc to avoid causing panic in the castle should anyone look out the window.

Seeing them head straight for the infirmary, Harry called out "Don't try to fly through the, um, cave opening. It's blocked."

There were no perches outside the infirmary, so they clung to the castle walls. Fortunately, the dragons had seen the lead between the panes and didn't fly into the glass, but they were perplexed. "Ice?" said the Horntail, tapping on it. "This late in the spring?"

"Must have been a very cold winter here," the Fireball observed.

"Don't worry," said the Swedish dragon. "I got it!" She flew up to a window, bathing it in blue-hot fire. The whole thing shimmered for a moment then the lead ran down like gray milk and the glass collapsed into the silvery puddle, too hot to even break.

Harry stared at the mess dripping down the windowsill.  _On second thought, I should have let them break the window. A_ Reparo _spell would have fixed it. I don't know if anything can fix this._

"You can put him in the cave now," said the Short Snout, pleased with herself.

"But don't let him touch the cave entrance," the Quetzalcoatl said knowledgeably. "Humans burn easily."

"What if he runs away once he's in there?" the Green said, still holding Charley tightly in her claws.

"I'll guard him!" Long and slender, the Quetzalcoatl flew in the window and laid down between the window and the door that led to the rest of the castle. A third-year girl in one of the infirmary beds began screaming and covering her eyes, holding up a blanket to block some of the heat coming from the molten goo dripping off the windowsill.

The Chinese Fireball flew in the window. "What's going on?"

"Don't know," said the Quetzalcoatl. "She just started making noises for no reason."

The European dragons, with their girth and wings couldn't fit in so pressed their noses to the glass, agitating the girl more.

"It's ok! It's ok!" said Harry. "They're not basilisks. They're dragons!"

The girl uncovered her eyes and glared at Harry. "And how is that any better?"

"What is going on here? Aaaggghhh..." Madame Pomfrey backed up seeing her spacious ward filled with two adult dragons.

"Hey Harry! You in there?" Ron's voice came from behind a feathered wall.

Upon hearing the healer's voice, the Fireball turned around (knocking several tables and beds over in the process) and marched over to her. Well, given the tight space, little mincing steps really. She sniffed the human to make sure it really was her, then began rubbing her head against the woman making a happy, rumbly sound.

"Is this...?"

"Yeah," said Harry. "That's Kasaiana."

"Kasaiana? Is that her name?" Madame Pomfrey found herself petting the dragon.

Harry nodded. "It means 'Fire Blossom,' although I'm not sure whether they mean a red flower or the moment something catches fire."

The Fireball let out a little hum.

"Are... are they safe?" the third-year asked.

Madame Pomfrey looked at the student like she was insane. "No, they're not safe. Dragons are Class 5X Wizard Killers."

The Fireball lifted her head so Madame Pomfrey could scratch under her chin.

"We're coming over, Harry," Ron yelled. "Tell them not to eat us."

"What are you doing, Ron?" his brothers said.

The youngest Weasley boy climbed over the feathered dragon and slid down the other side.

"What is  _everyone_  doing here?" the Matron demanded.

"I'm here because I fell off my broom," the third-year girl said.

"Checking on my brother," Ron said.

"The dragons think Charley is sick and you're the only healer they know," Harry explained.

 _"I am not sick,"_  Charley said emphatically in English.

"Did you tell her he's sick?" the Short Snout said through the window.

"Why  _do_  they think you're sick?" Harry asked in English.

"Because apparently I can't explain the concept of writing a letter," Charley snapped. "What is the dragon word for writing?"

Harry thought. And came up blank. Dragons did not have writing, therefore they had no word to describe it. He thought some more. Symbol? Blank. Drawing? Blank. A mark? Only the big slash they left on trees and stone to mark their territory. He didn't think that would translate well. "Why don't we just have Madame Pomfrey wave her wand over you and keep you here overnight. We'll tell the dragons you'll be fine in the morning."

"Because I am  _not_  crazy."

"Did you tell her about the talking tree leaves?" the Short Snout said.

"Paper with writing," Charley explained.

The Fireball nudged the healer with her nose then looked over at Charley.

Madame Pomfrey gave an irritated snort. "Sit down and let me look at you."

"There's nothing wrong with me."

"SIT DOWN!" she roared.

"Yes ma'am," he sat down quickly.

"Honestly," she muttered, "the dragon was less trouble."

Kasaiana made a smug noise, as though she understood there was a favorable comparison. Or maybe just because she got her way.

"You have widespread bruising and a cracked rib."

"You try getting dragged across the continent of Europe in the clutches of overzealous dragons," Charley grumbled.

"They really were trying to help," Harry pointed out.

"Whose side are you on?" Charley said.

"I should think that was obvious," Madame Pomfrey replied.

~oOo~

The dragons kept looking over their shoulders back at the infirmary windows. "You sure he'll be ok?" the Short Snout said. "Maybe we should stay."

"He'll be fine," Harry assured her. "He won't run away from the One-who-heals and three with the red ... heads ... are his, um, nestmates. They'll keep an eye on him."

"They don't seem to be smart enough to speak," the Horntail observed. "Are you sure they can do it?"

"Maybe we should go back," said the Green.

"Not necessary," said Harry, thinking of the terrified third-year. "If anything, we should... go the other way. I mean, um, you haven't greeted the One-who-speaks-well, right?"

The dragons all looked horrified. "We did not greet the alpha first," whispered the Horntail.

"Do you think he'll be mad?" said the Short Snout.

"He might be mad," the Green nodded. "He is the alpha. You should always greet the alpha first."

"No, he's not the alpha," Harry tried to soothe them.

"He speaks the best," said the Fireball, "therefore he must be the smartest."

"Do you think he'll refuse to speak to us ever again?" The Quetzalcoatl ruffled her feathers in distress.

 _"But we were taking the brain sick one to be fixed!"_ wailed the Short Snout.

"And he'll get that, I'm sure," said Harry.

They all took off for the floating pink palace.  _Crap!_  thought Harry. He leaned into his broom to try and beat them there so he could warn Mori about what had them upset. Fortunately, the Firebolt was faster than any dragon present. Unfortunately, not by much. He'd barely landed on the porch when the European dragons backwinged and nearly blew him over the railing. Luckily (maybe), the swirling winds that carried the Fireball and Quetzalcoatl, pushed him back to the other side. All five dragons landed at once and the Ouran palace sank two feet deeper into the cloud. They began crawling over the outside, sniffing at windows trying to find which one he was behind. Then, the shifting breeze brought another scent.

"Is that the female?" the Fireball said.

"Why is she at the lake with the golden male?" said the Green.

The Short Snout's eyes went wide. "Why is the male feeding her?"

The Quetzalcoatl roared, "ARE THEY ON A DATE AND TIME?"

~oOo~

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this one took so long. I was having writers block on the date (which, as it turns out, didn't even make it into this chapter), but I needed to make sure the setup was right. The next chapter should follow very shortly.


	17. Not Quite According to Plan

* * *

 

~oOo~

"You're just going to dinner with her," Kyoya said, barely looking up from his book as Tamaki paced up and down the room. "I don't see why you're making such a fuss."

"Because everything has to be perfect, don't you see?" Tamaki said. "She'll only ever have one first date!"

"Which was with Hikaru," Kyoya said blandly.

" _That wasn't a date!"_  Tamaki said vehemently. "They were just out as friends! In fact, she didn't even agree to go with him, she was supposed to be going out with Kaoru!"

"I stand corrected. The first man she really accepted was Kaoru."

Tamaki make a series of incoherent choking noises.

"What's going on?" the twins said as they entered the room.

"It's none of your business!" screeched Tamaki. "And you are not the first ones she really dated!"

"I suppose it depends on how you define  _dated_ ," mused Hikaru. "If you count the time I took her around Karuizawa..."

"... and the time I took her to that amusement park..." added Kaoru.

"...And when Kyoya-senpai and she spent that day shopping together..."

"...and all those one-on-one training session with Honey-senpai..."

"...and her dinner with Mori and the dragons..."

"That makes you the last man in the club she agreed to go out with."

Tamaki paled. "Last...man...?"

"But don't worry, boss. I'm sure you won't have any trouble outdoing all of us."

"Well of course I won't because  _I have it all planned out!"_ Tamaki said enthusiastically. "First, a flying carpet will meet us at the door..."

"Aren't those illegal in Britain?" Hikaru said.

"...which will float us down to a crystal carriage drawn by a pair of snow white unicorns with golden horns who will transport us to the lakeshore along a rose petal strewn path..."

"Boss, the lake isn't even a hundred meters away," said Hikaru.

"And you do realize that unicorns eat rose petals, right?" added Kaoru.

"...where I have transfigured a boat into a giant swan. We will board its back ..."

"Are you sure she won't trip in the mud?" asked Kyoya.

"Good point," said Tamaki. "I will place a dozen golden floating lanterns to light our way, then, nestled in its feathers, we will sail to the dock ..."

"Which is another twenty meters away," said Kaoru.

"It'd be faster to just walk the distance," said Hikaru.

"...where we shall dine on the finest cuisine underneath the starlight."

"And you don't foresee any complications in this plan?" Kyoya flipped the page of his book.

"How could anything go wrong with such a perfect plan? Unless the mermaids haven't thought out their part?"

"I do not suspect the mermaids are the weak link."

Out in the main hall, they heard Honey's chipper voice. "You look super-cute, Haru-chan."

"Oh, um, thanks," she said.

"Doesn't she look beautiful Takashi?"

"Hn," Mori agreed softly.

"Princess," Tamaki bowed extravagantly, "shall we depart for our enchanted evening?"

Haruhi looked at him blankly. "I thought we were having dinner with the mermaids." She walked out the door right past the flying carpet then paused halfway down the steps. "What's that carriage doing there?"

Tamaki went running after her. "That's our equipage to take us to dinner."

"But dinner is right over there."

"Hi Haruhi!" The mermaids waived at her from a distance.

"Hi!" Haruhi waived back.

Tamaki reached the bottom of the stairs a step behind her and ushered her into the carriage. He waived his wand dramatically. The unicorns drew themselves up, tossed their manes majestically, then promptly lowered their heads and started eating the rose petals.

"Please move," Tamaki begged.

Having finished the flowers in front of them, the unicorns took a step forward and continued eating. At this pace, they'd reach the lake sometime tomorrow.

"It's no trouble to walk," Haruhi said, climbing out.

The giant swan, knowing it was supposed to pick them up, began swimming along the lakeshore keeping pace with them, the floating golden lanterns following along in its wake.

"Does Haru-chan even know she's on a date?" Honey wondered aloud.

"Doesn't look like it," Kaoru said.

~oOo~

The low dinner table was set up at the end of a small floating dock. Tamaki had been disappointed that they couldn't have a proper kotatsu, but Kyoya had emphatically pointed out the quite literal wet blanket would rather ruin the mood. Cushions had been placed on the dock for Tamaki and Haruhi while platforms just below the waterline gave the mermaids a place as well. Some gently swaying water flowers surrounded the table and made a bright rainbow in the sapphire waters of the lake. The giant squid drifted lazily along the surface, watching the mermaids in idle curiosity. The graceful giant swan added an elegant accent as the late afternoon sun had turned the sky to gold, the hovering candles gave counterpoint to the purple shadows of the surrounding hills sliding ever closer across the lake. Two small bioluminescent squid circled each other in a fishbowl on the table, like a flickering blue-violet candle. "It's the same color as your eyes," sighed the green haired mermaid.

The purple haired mermaid elbowed her in the ribs. They were supposed to be setting the two humans up, not flirting themselves, although admittedly, the sunlight haired boy was so dreamy. She shook her head and offered Haruhi a bowl. "Would you like some rice?"

The green one smiled knowingly. "Kyoya told us that fancy meals on land are not served all at once, but in courses: first a little something to start with, then two or three dishes at the same time, then the best thing last."

"So Kyoya didn't tell you what dishes go in which order?" Haruhi said.

"He didn't have to," answered the mermaids. "Rice has so little flavor that we knew it came first so as not to disappoint you later in the meal."

"Good thinking," said Haruhi.

The mermaid pulled out a plate. "Cherry cookies? Misuzu said you really like them."

"I do," nodded Haruhi. "Misuzu makes amazing cookies."

"And soup for you," the green haired mermaid filled Tamaki's bowl. "Ranka said to make sure you got all the chrysanthemum."

"Oh, thank you," Tamaki said in a polite voice, watching the flower petals float over a swirling mass of green.

"Those chrysanthemums looked so much like anemones, we decided to put bouquets of anemones all around the table for color. But don't touch them. They're a little sting-ey." The mermaids giggled. The pink and orange and teal anemones, swaying in the lake water, were indeed quite lovely. Haruhi made a note to admire them from a distance.

She decided to take pity on the sad looking Tamaki. "Would you like a cookie?" Haruhi held the plate out.

"Thank you," Tamaki said, picking one up.

"Weep," said the swan, craning its neck around.

"I think it wants one," said Haruhi.

Tamaki held it out. The swan pecked at the cookie, splitting it in half, ate both halves then tucked its beak in the water, looking for escaped crumbs. Haruhi smiled. Tamaki reached for another cookie.

"Weep-weep."

"No," said Tamaki, "this one is mine."

"Wee-EEP-WEEP!"

"No!"

The swan pecked at his hand.

Tamaki stuffed the cookie into his mouth to prove the point.

"WEE-EEP-WEEP-WEEP!" The swan squawked indignantly and began looking around the table.

Tamaki moved the entire plate of cookies to his far side to protect it.

The swan bit his sleeve and tried to pull it back.

Tamaki jerked his arm hard.

The swan tugged back and rose in the water, wings beating, spraying water everywhere.

Haruhi raised her hands to shield herself. "Let go, Tamaki. You're getting us all wet!"

"But they're our cookies!"

The swan took advantage of the distraction, gave a mighty pull, dragging Tamaki off the deck and into the anemones. The plate of cookies went flying. Tamaki yelped. The swan hissed at him then swam off to retrieve its prize, making happy little noises every time it found one. Tamaki made unhappy noises every time one the anemones found him.

"Are you ok senpai?" Haruhi asked, pulling him out of the water.

~oOo~

Inside the Ouran palace, five pairs of omnioculars were trained on the lake, watching with much hilarity.

"Waaah!" Honey cried as the much-loved cookies plopped one by one into the lake.

The twins howled with laughter as Tamaki followed. "No wait! You gotta back it up and watch in slow motion!"

~oOo~

On the roof of the Ouran palace, six pairs of eyes watched with increasing concern, five for what was happening on the dock, one for how his dragonish companions were taking it.

"The swan's neck was right in front of him," said the Green. "How could he have missed the kill?"

"He is obviously a very poor hunter," the Horntail said dismissively.

"The One-Who-Speaks-Well would not have missed that kill," the Quetzalcoatl said confidently.

"I don't think he was trying to kill the swan," Harry said. "I think he was trying to protect the food bits."

"But the food bits went in the water and the swan got them anyway," the Fireball cocked her head. "Do you think the female noticed he failed to defend his kill?"

"And why did he go into the water? Was he trying to beat the swan to the food?" the Short Snout said.

"He missed by a long distance," the Horntail pointed out.

"Maybe he was looking for fish to replace the lost food?" the Fireball said.

"She does like fish," the Short Snout fretted.

"He didn't come back with any fish," the Green said smugly.

~oOo~

Honey looked up. "What's that rumbling noise on the roof?"

Takashi Morinozuka couldn't help himself. He genuinely considered Tamaki to be one of his best friends and sincerely wanted Haruhi to be happy, but he smiled a little anyway at the running commentary.

~oOo~

"Sorry about dinner," Tamaki said.

"That's ok," said the mermaids. "We still have dessert to go."

"The cookies weren't dessert?"

"No silly," the mermaids giggled. "Dessert is supposed to be the best part."

"Ranka said your favorite was fish wrapped in seaweed," the purple haired mermaid smiled, producing a large platter of sushi and sashimi.

.

"But he didn't come back with any fish!" the Green protested.

"Are you sure it's fish?" said the Short Snout. "It looks like it may just be plants."

The others all looked at her. "You nose is still too short."

"Well it's not going to get any longer!" she answered testily.

 _"But he didn't come back with any fish!"_  howled the Green.

"But maybe it's the wrong kind of fish," said the Short Snout hopefully. "What is he feeding her? Is it fatty tuna?"

"Could be fatty tuna. The One-Who-Speaks-Well said she likes fatty tuna," observed the Fireball.

"I'm sure it's fatty tuna. This is bad. This is very bad."

"But that lake isn't big enough for tuna," said the Quetzalcoatl.

"There's a kraken in the lake," said the Horntail. "It must eat something. Do krakens eat tuna?" she asked Harry.

"Um, it's actually a giant squid and I have no idea."

"BUT HE DIDN'T COME BACK WITH ANY FISH!"

"We need to stop this," said the Fireball.

"Is there more fish than the One-Who-Speaks-Well offered her? Maybe he is not as good of a hunter," said the Quetzalcoatl.

"He does not move like a hunter. Too much wasted motion."

"But there is a lot of fish there," worried the Short Snout.

" _But there were no fish in his mouth when he came up. No fish at all. I looked!"_  The Green lowered her head until she was eye to eye with Harry, as if pleading with him to back her up. "You saw it, right? No fish!"

"No, no, it's ok," Harry assured them. "He didn't hunt at all. The mermaids hunted for them."

The dragons looked confused. "Mermaids?"

"The people who live in the water."

"Why would they hunt for... are they trying to impress the female too?" The Quetzalcoatl's feathers were starting to go flat. The Horntail's scales rippled. The Short Snout began to bristle.

"It's not like that!" Harry desperately tried to head off an impending war between the dragons and the mermaids. "They have no interest in her, they're just friends. In fact, they're all girls like she is."

"Why would girls...?" The mother dragons looked at each other, suddenly realizing  _they_  were all girls. "THEY WANT THE FEMALE TO MATE WITH THE GOLDEN MALE!"

"No! I mean yes but..."

His protests no longer mattered. The dragons all launched themselves off the roof at the same time, knocking the Ouran palace back a foot and a half.

.

Tamaki was holding out a piece of otoro to Haruhi. Normally she found their feeding her annoying, but she'd already eaten all of hers and it  _was_  otoro.

"Weep," said the swan.

"No!" said Tamaki. "Not the fancy tuna."

"Weep-weep."

"No! No way!"

Haruhi picked up a piece of scallop and tossed it to the swan.

"Given that I only transfigured him from a boat this afternoon and he's never even seen food before, he eats a lot," said Tamaki.

"Given that he's never eaten before, that might explain it," said Haruhi. She picked up the platter to offer some to the mermaids when an unexpected gust of wind caught the edge and flipped the tray upside down, scattering the contents over the water. "Huh, that was weird," she said as she turned to watch the swan gobble up the last course of their dinner. It was just as well she turned that way. If she had turned the other way, she would have seen five panicked dragons barreling down on her.

.

The Ouran palace rocked back violently, sending the twins flying out of their chairs; then back the other way. Five guys leaned out the window to see what was going on just in time to see Harry lunge for his broom and miss as it tumbled off the roof. Somehow, Harry was not surprised when Mori caught the falling broom and handed it back to him.

"You could have handled that better," said Mori.

"You know, you could have helped," said Harry.

"Hm," said Mori, as though the thought had not occurred to him.

As they watched, a strange mist rose off the lake. Not wispy, like it normally would; more like the top couple centimeters of the lake evaporated all at the same time. Haruhi's words from the first challenge came back to Harry.  _That dragon can control water and everything that goes with it...storms...flooding..._

"Oh shit!" Harry leapt on his broom and kicked off hard, zooming after the dragons. "No thunderstorms!"

.

The giant squid lounged at the dropoff, where the shallows turned deep abruptly, when suddenly, without moving, half its tentacles broke the water. It raised its head for a better look. A mass of air-water coalesced into a dark grey ball and began drifting opposite the waves, towards the shore.  _That was curious,_  it thought.  _Normally the air-water moved the same direction as the waves._  It lifted a tentacle and touched the darkening mass, but the cloud just flowed around its arm and kept going.

.

The last piece of otoro, the last piece of dinner, sat on Tamaki's plate. He held up, offering it up to Haruhi, half romantic gesture, half apology for a romantic dinner that hadn't quite gone as planned. She smiled her understanding and reached for the sushi.

.

"HE'S FEEDING HER! STOP IT!"

The gray cloud to turned black and a sheet of driving rain cut between the two humans, drenching all the diners, who recoiled from the watery onslaught. The green haired mermaid grabbed Tamaki and kissed him, pulling him beneath the waves and the purple one did likewise for Haruhi, then made for deeper water where the surface tempest would have no effect.

.

"They're trying to drown the female!"

The Welsh Green flew several hundred feet straight up into the sky then pulled an amazing U-turn. Two powerful strokes of her wings gave her a speed Harry couldn't even begin to guess at, then she tucked them close to her body and hit the water with a splash so small only the bubbles from her slipstream gave away her position.

.

The shockwave of the dragon entering the water startled the mermaids into looking back rather than where they were going, causing them to swim head on into the giant squid.

.

The squid was still pondering the strange cloud behavior when a pressure wave like a large bird hitting the water rolled across it followed by two small impacts. It looked down to see two mermaids each holding one of those curious air-dwelling creatures. Then it looked up to see a monster, a thousand times bigger than even the biggest bird, heading straight towards it. The squid darkened its skin in warning then snapped its beak, but the strange intruder didn't back off. It wrapped its tentacles around the mermaids and their humans, released a cloud of ink and jetted towards the center of the lake.

.

Arianawel paused in the water just in time to see her friend wrapped in the tentacles of a sea monster as large as she was. The monster snapped its beak menacingly, threatening to eat the helpless little female. Determined, Arianawel beat her wings and shot forward, and then...

Black.

The green dragon broke the surface and began thrashing wildly to clean the stinging ink from her eyes. "I can't see! It's going to eat her and I can't see where it went!"

The Quetzalcoatl and the Fireball looked at each other alarmed then swooped across the lake surface side by side, each sending a massive rooster tail of water up behind them, bailing the lake to its dry bed, cutting a path like the parting of the Red Sea in a biblical epic.

 _"ENOUGH!"_  Mori's magically amplified voice filled the lake basin. "You're going to hurt someone."

"But the female..." the Quetzalcoatl started.

"Stop it. Now."

The dragons didn't put the water back but they did stop moving it around.

The squid realized that everything had stopped, so it did too. It didn't realize land creatures were intelligent enough to change their colors to express their thoughts. It rolled over to get a better look. The water formed a vertical surface where usually it was horizontal above and just on the other side of the surface was a large one of those land creatures. It had never seen one go red in anger before. Amazing. Then it looked at the very small one it was holding. That one was positively purple with rage. She pushed her little useless suckerless arms against his large substantial one that was wrapped firmly around her. The squid loosened his grip and allowed the little one to escape. She swam over to the wall, pushed through to the dry space and began making a loud enough noise it could be heard underwater.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Haruhi shouted at all of them. "I am not your toy to be pulled this way and that! And if I wanted your help, I would have asked for it!"

She stomped across the dry lakebed path, up the Ouran stair and slammed the door hard enough the whole structure shook.

There was a momentary silence.

"Was she roaring at us because she didn't get her food?" the Short Snout said worriedly.

The squid sent a rainbow of color up and down its body.

 _Could this get any worse?_ thought Harry.

"Do you mind explaining what's going on?" Dumbledore's calm voice came from behind him.

 _Yes. Yes, it could._  Harry winced. "It's ... um ... it's complicated."

Dumbledore scanned the mayhem. The dry path that now led all the way down to the mer-village. The thick cloud of squid ink diffusing across a quarter of the lake. A giant swan snapping at fish stirred up by the churning water. Six Ouran students, one Hogwarts student, five dragons, two mermaids and a giant squid. "I did not presume it would be otherwise."

"The dragons thought Haruhi was in danger from the giant squid," Mori rescued him, "and the squid thought Haruhi was in danger from the dragons."

"But nobody was actually in danger?" Dumbledore asked.

"Well, not to begin with," Harry fidgeted.

"And have you explained this to the dragons?"

Harry turned around and rumbled. The squid pushed a tentacle out of the water, tapped Mori and sent another ripple of colors down its body.

"And what does the squid say?" Dumbledore asked.

"It's asking what is going on."

"And have you answered it?"

"No sir," said Mori. "It communicates by changing its body color. I can understand it but I am not a metamorphmagus so I cannot answer back."

"I see," said Dumbledore. He pulled out his wand and made a standing sheet of water with a water prism that split the colors of the rainbow into color pallet along one side. "Kindly drag whatever colors you need to explain it to him."

Harry gaped as Mori began making quite literally a watercolor. "You can do that sir?" He said to Dumbledore.

The headmaster gave Harry a sidelong look. "You needn't look astonished. I do know a few spells that you do not."

"Yes sir."

"Now then," Dumbledore continued, "I think everyone who cannot breathe underwater should return to the shore then we will ask the dragons to  _gently_  return the water to the lake, then every one of you," he eyed each of them individually, including the dragons, the swan, the squid, the mermaids and the students "owes ...  _Mister_  ... Fujioka an apology."

"You know, sir?" Harry said.

"I believe I have already asked you to not look astonished. More than once a day seems excessive on everybody's part."

~oOo~

* * *

 


	18. Teacher's Pets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really, really, really apologize for the length of this chapter. More groveling at the end.

* * *

~oOo~

"Are you telling me that Harry Potter is going to miss class  _again_  this morning?" The entire staff jumped a little when Minerva McGonagall slammed her cup down on the faculty room table with far more force than she had intended. If she was going to have to deal with this, she really needed something stronger than straight pumpkin juice.

"I'm afraid so," Dumbledore said.

"This tournament and all its...  _complications_  is seriously threatening the boy's education," she said forcefully.

"Professor McGonagall," Moody put in, "this tournament is seriously threatening the boy's life."

"And in this case, the two are connected," McGonagall pointed out. "The more he learns, the better his chances of making it through alive."

Sybill Trelawney began waiving her hands in the air. "Death. I foresee death in the maze..."

"You see death every time a student sneezes," McGonagall snapped.

"But she's right in this case," said Professor Vector. "The numbers don't look good."

"Unfortunately, until we get those dragons out of here, Mr. Potter's skills are needed. If you'd seen what happened at the lake last night between the dragons and the giant squid..." Dumbledore started.

"Now ya can' go blamin' the dragons, Pr'fess'r," Hagrid said.

"I'm afraid I rather can," McGonagall said. "And what are they doing back here anyway? I thought they were all sent home."

"They believed Charley Weasley to be ill," said Madame Pomfrey. "They were bringing him back to be healed."

"I am force to agree with Professor McGonagall," Snape said. "What Potter needs now is not more special treatment, but less. He should be required to attend all his classes, the same as any other student, to learn all he possibly can."

"Thank you, Severus," McGonagall was grateful at least one professor saw it as she did.

"And I disagree," Madame Pomfrey said. "With all respect, Minerva, how much do you and Filius believe you're going to be able to teach the boy in the next three weeks? If you really want to keep that boy safe, you'll require him to spend time with the dragons every day then at the start of the Third Task, tell them you believe he is in danger. They'll put a stop to it, far better than we have. When they think something needs to be done, they do it."

"Without regard to the consequences." Moody glared at her. "You forget, Madame Pomfrey, the Goblet forms a binding magical contract. If Potter fails to go into the maze..."

"Pish-posh," she said. "Miss Delacour suffered no ill effects when she was forced to drop out half way through the Second Task. If, five minutes into the maze, Mr. Potter were seized by a dragon and deposited on the top of Gryffindor Tower without a broom..."

"You cannot seriously be suggesting leaving those monsters here for the next month!" Moody took a swill from his flask. Minerva sincerely wished she could have a belt of whatever was in that flask as well, but she  _did_  have a class to teach that morning.

"Headmaster," Snape said, "Potter is not the only student with whose safety we must be concerned."

"The dragons ain't hurt nobody yet," Hagrid said.

"' _Yet'_ being the operative word," Snape replied.

"And if the dragons remove Mr. Potter, might they also not take the Japanese student?" said Madame Hooch. "That would remove Ouran from the tournament altogether, and by any standards would be considered cheating."

~oOo~

Harry sat down beside Haruhi at breakfast. "I wanted to apologize for my part in what happened yesterday."

"And what exactly was your part?"

"Well, I was...I mean the dragons... I, um I guess I didn't explain ...or maybe I said... um, you know, I don't actually know what my part was, but I'm pretty sure I was at least - I mean not totally but somewhat - responsible. So I'm sorry. And the dragons felt bad too. But they really did think the mermaids were trying to drown you and the giant squid was trying to eat you."

"So they don't have much common sense."

"Zero," Harry confirmed. "But their hearts are in the right place."

"I do seem to attract a lot of those," Haruhi sighed.

"It wasn't my fault," said Tamaki, joining them. "I mean maybe the swan ruining dinner was but that's all."

She glared it him for a moment and let it go.

"But it was hilarious," the Hitachiin twins said as they sat down.

Her glare returned.

"Takeshi, Haru-chan looks like she's still angry," Honey said, hanging back from the table.

"We apologize," said Mori. "We did not realize how worked up the dragons and the squid were getting."

Fred and George slid into the bench. "Heard about last night. Can't believe we missed it."

"It's ok," said Hikaru. "We had omnoculars, we got the whole thing."

"Brilliant!" said George.

"Erase it," said Haruhi.

"No way," said Hikaru.

"Not a chance," said Kaoru.

"Not before we see it," said Fred.

"THE WHOLE SCHOOL DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!" Haruhi shouted. She looked around only to realize the whole school was now staring at her. She stormed out of the Great Hall.

"I guess we'll have to try apologizing again at lunch," Kaoru said.

~oOo~

Charlie Weasley intercepted Harry on his way to class. "I need you to come with me. After what happened yesterday, we have to tell the dragons that they have to go home. And they're not going to like it."

Harry winced. "Wouldn't Mori be better? His Dragon is a lot better than mine."

"Yes," Charlie said. "But the dragons know that this is not his territory, so he does not have the authority to ask them to leave."

Harry nodded reluctantly and followed Charley down to the clearing. The dragon mothers were sitting on their nests, mostly chatting when they came up. But as if to remind them what they were dealing with, the Short Snout was flaming her eggs and turning them, the Horntail was shredding a deer carcass, and the Fireball was humming a deep, throaty lullaby over her nest, with notes so low it made the ground vibrate. They bowed respectfully. "Greetingsss."

The Horntail snorted derisively but did not comment.

"We need to talk," Charlie began, but then he stopped, not knowing where to go from there.

"Um," Harry said. "The female could have been badly hurt yesterday."

The dragons all nodded. "Yes, when the lake creatures pulled her underwater, she could have drowned. It is a good thing we were there to save her," the Horntail bit the haunch, ripped it clean off the deer, tossed it in the air, caught it by the meaty end and began chewing messily.

"Yes, but they only pulled her under water because they thought you were trying to hurt her," Harry said.

The Green raked her long claws through the dirt, digging a trench the size of Harry's torso with each pass, and piled it up around the outside of her nest. "Many creatures are not nearly as smart as they think they are and that  _does_  make them dangerous," she said. "But that is why you need dragons to protect you."

"You are not very good at protecting yourselves," the Quetzalcoatl was forced to agree as she ripped the branches off a nearby tree and began weaving them into a proper nest.

"This isn't going the way we need it to mate," Charlie muttered under his breath in English.

Harry tried again. "But what if  _you_  had gotten hurt? What would've happened to your eggs? That's why… That's why I think it might be better if you left."

The suggestion met with outraged protests. "We are not the ones who started that fight!" "They tried to steal the One-Who-Speaks-Well's mate!" "They tried to drown her!" "Just because that deformed kraken..." "My eye is not healed."

"Your eye wasn't hurt!" Harry answered back.

"Kasaiana's eye took many days to heal," Arianawel said loftily. "I have not had as much time."

"That's because her eye was completely destroyed. You just got a little ink in yours and we washed it out in the lake. It's fine!"

"The One-Who-Heals has not told me I can leave yet." The green dragon cocked her head so Harry could not see her perfectly fine eye.

"And we will not leave her here alone," said the Horntail.

"Fine!" said Harry. "I'll ask her to come look at you. But when she says your eye is ok, you have to go."

"My eggs are hatching," said the Fireball.

Everybody stopped and looked at her.

"What?" said Charley.

"They have been chirping and rocking since dawn. They will hatch soon." She leaned down and crooned at her eggs again.

Charley looked at Harry. "We have to get her out of here now," he hissed. "Newly hatched dragons are delicate and can't be moved for a couple weeks. Even Hagrid's had to be kept here for a month before we could transport it."

The other mothers all clustered around Kasaiana's nest making approving noises. Massive, deadly, powerful... "Delicate?"

Charley looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Dragons usually lay between three and fifteen eggs at a time, depending on species. A few as high as twenty. The drop a clutch every three to five years. A female has a laying life of give or take fifty years. Do the math, Harry. We're not up to our eyeballs in dragons."

Harry remembered Hagrid's newly hatched Norwegian Ridgeback. Icicle slender limbs, wings so thin they were almost transparent. A good-sized owl could probably take one down. A hippogriff would have no trouble up to a several months. And then... dragonhide gloves, dragonhide jackets, dragon liver potions, dragon heartstring wands, even dragon steaks in fancier restaurants. Harry started to feel sick. "Poachers?"

"They're worth a lot of money, Harry. And five nest-fulls of newly hatched dragons with only me and Hagrid to defend them..."

"There's Dumbledore."

"Possibly," Charley allowed. "But his first duty is to the school. The Ministry paid for that army of wizards we had here last time, although they were worried  _about_  the dragons, not  _for_  them."

"I'd fight for them," Harry said weakly. "And I'm pretty sure Mori would too."

"I'm not going to put students in danger." He sighed. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, they're predators, Harry. They kill a lot of animals on their way to the top of the food chain." He looked meaningfully over at the dismembered deer. "And they're not exactly helpless."

~oOo~

"Now then," said Professor Flitwick, "are there any questions before we begin the next unit?"

After a moment, Hermione raised her hand. "Yes Miss Granger," the Charms professor said. He always loved her questions, they were broadly insightful and sometimes quite difficult to answer. Really, she should have been in his house.

"It's not strictly speaking on the topic," Hermione said, "but I was talking to the Ouran students at dinner the other night and they were discussing magical research. And I was wondering how exactly is that conducted?"

"Magical research," he pondered. She definitely didn't disappoint with her questions. "You must first develop a solid understanding of the language of magic, which is not simply sounds, but also movements combined with will and intent. If you are interested in that course of study, you should take Magical Theory class as your elective final year. In the meantime, I would recommend carefully examining some of the spells you know. Look at the summoning charm and the banishing charm and see where they are the same and where they are different. They are not simply the reverse of one another. Then for your first experiments, try taking a spell you are well familiar with and altering it in some very small way."

"You mean like taking that Midas jinx that, um, somebody threw earlier this year, only instead of turning things to gold have things turn to silver." Hermione said.

"Why would you want silver?" Ron said. "Gold is much more valuable."

Hermione shrugged. "Silver would be much more useful if you were, say, trapped in a room full of vampires."

"Excellent observation," Flitwick said. "Two points to Gryffindor. But I absolutely forbid you to start with that spell."

"It doesn't seem like it would be that hard of a transfiguration," Ron said hoping for two points himself. "You're just changing the substance, you're not having to change the shape or bring it to life."

"And that would be the first reason you would fail," said Flitwick. "It is not a transfiguration at all, it is a charm.  _You_ are not changing the end product; you are essentially creating a magical artifact that will perform the same spell over and over. But the reason I forbid you to work with that spell is its potential to miscast. Only Mr. Malfoy's hand was affected, a partial charm, if you will. The foolish king for whom it was named was not so lucky: food turned to gold in his mouth. And the king received an overpowered charm as well, accidentally turning his daughter to gold. The potential for that spell to turn lethal is very high and it will not be taught at Hogwarts."

~oOo~

McGonagall eyed her sixth years. "Today we begin one of the most difficult spells in any wizard's repertoire, the conjuring spell. Who can tell me what that is?"

"It's making something from nothing," Fred said, his eyes alight with the possibilities.

"That is not possible, even for a wizard," said McGonagall. "Mr. Ootori?"

"It is transfiguring something from an unlikely, unusual or unnoticed source material. Hence the phrase 'conjuring out of thin air.'"

"Very good." She really did like these Japanese students. They were not only prepared for class, they read ahead. Well, except for the Hitachiin twins. "And who can give me an example of conjuring?"

"The tea table Haruhi made during the Second Task...?" George said.

"And what was it transfigured from?" She held up a finger to indicate the Ouran students should not answer.

"Um, air?" George said.

"Incorrect. Miss Johnson?"

"Water?"

"A good guess since it was in the lake, but also incorrect. The answer," McGonagall said looking at the Ouran students, "is that it was drawn from the soil in the lake bed. The decorative inlay was created from minerals separated out from the soil."

Kyoya nodded that she was correct.

"But how could you possibly know that?" Lee asked.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "I  _am_  considered an expert on transfiguration Mr. Jordan," she said drily. "It takes quite a bit of air to form a solid object but there was no noticeable inrush of wind, nor was there a tremendous movement of water beyond the rising of the table." She turned to the Ouran students. "It was a nice piece of work. Tell me, how long did it take you to teach him that?"

"A week and a half until we were sure he could cast it even under duress," said Tamaki.

"Did you teach him the complete conjuring spell or just to do the table?"

"Just the table," said Kyoya. "But he's smart enough to work out the rest on his own. He's rather like our version of Hermione Granger; hard working, studious. He'd spend all his time in the library if his friends didn't constantly drag him into trouble."

"We don't get him into trouble!" Tamaki protested. "I mean adventures, maybe, but nothing we can't get him out of."

"This tournament notwithstanding," Kyoya said.

"Incomplete knowledge of powerful spells can be a dangerous thing," McGonagall said. "Either you need to teach him the rest of the spell in full or we should see about getting him transferred into this class for the remainder of the term."

~oOo~

Hagrid's surveyed his seventh years. When you got to the upper levels, it was only the students who were really serious about a subject. "Now then, N.E.W.T.S be comin' up pretty quick on yeh, so today we'll be havin' a practice test." The students all groaned. While Hagrid's class was not as hard as McGonagall's or Snape's, he took his subject very seriously and his tests were thorough. He was pleased to note that not one of them seemed scared of the hippogriff, fire crab or screwt although some did stay out of range back by the nifflers. Disappointingly, the tall Japanese boy was in the back.

"Why is there a platypus in with the nifflers?" Mori asked.

"That was one o' the questions on yer test," Hagrid said. "How'd yeh know it ain't a niffler?"

"Because it asked me why it was penned up with them."

"Oh," said Hagrid. "Yeah, I reckon that'd work." He cleared his throat. "Right then, let's get the test going. We'll start with the big predators."

"You mean like dragons?" one of the students said, alarmed.

"Waste of a great opportunity it is, but no. Dumbledore said the Board o' Gov'nors wouldn't take it too kindly if any o' yeh got hurt."

"Zen why iz zere one coming at us right now?" The Beauxbatons girl clutched her wand tightly.

Hagrid turned around to see a rainbow of feathers bounding across the lawn. It barely slowed to bob its head in greeting before wrapping itself around Mori. "Kasaiana's eggs are hatching! You need to come right now!" It sniffed the females gathered 'round to see if any of them was  _the_  female, but disappointingly, they weren't. "The One-Raised-By-Snakes said we could bring the Furry-One as well." She didn't sound quite as enthusiastic, but Mori suspected that wouldn't matter to Hagrid in the least.

"The Fireball's eggs are hatching," Mori translated for the class. "They have asked me to come. Sensei, you are invited as well."

Hagrid looked over the creatures he had assembled, their handling equipment, foods and all. "Right. Ok everyone, practical test. Choose an animal and put it back in its enclosure. Outstanding on the test everyone. Class dismissed."

There was a rush towards the niffler pen. "Mind the platypus," Hagrid added as an afterthought. "His claws are venomous."

Watching their teacher jog towards the forest and seeing their afternoon suddenly and unexpectedly open up, the students all smiled. "I could get to like zees dragons."

~oOo~

Mori arrived just as a hole appeared in the first egg. A little red snout stuck itself through, sniffed two or three times and then pulled back in before bursting out of the egg and scrambling across the nest lightning fast. Kasaiana snapped him up and for a moment, Harry thought she had eaten him, until he heard a little chirp come from inside her mouth.

The second one came half way out but seemed to be stuck, shaking his tail, trying the shed the egg. The red dragon leaned down and pushed the shell back, freeing the baby before she snapped him up too. The third broke free, took one look at all the large creatures watching it and retreated back inside his shell. An amused rumble from his mother caused him to peek out and look at her, then he too went into her mouth. She watched the last egg expectantly. When it didn't hatch in a timely manner, she laid her tongue on top of her little ones to hold them in place and bit the stubborn egg gently, cracking the shell. When she dropped it back into the nest, it shattered into fifty pieces and the former occupant gave a startled  _cheep_. She scooped him up as well and then launched herself down to the lakeshore. She lowered her jaw into the water and swished it back and forth, bathing her young to many warbling complaints. She came back to her nest, curled her tail in a circle on the outer edge and dropped her wet offspring into their little pen. She then flamed the nest, burning everything down to the bare stone and deposited her children into their toasty clean nest.

"Did you know they did that?" Hagrid asked.

Charley shook his head. "No one's ever seen a Fireball hatching in the wild and lived to tell the tale."

As the little ones warmed themselves against the heated stones, their chirps took on a different note. The Horntail ripped the other haunch off her kill and nudged it towards the Fireball, who dangled it from her mouth by the hoof. The little ones all immediately leapt up, grabbed on by teeth and claws and began shredding it, swallowing meat and sinew as fast as they could rip it off. The Horntail rumbled her approval.

"And now we know  _why_  no one's ever lived to tell the tale," said Harry, queasy at the enthusiastic carnage.

Sated, three of them dropped back into the nest, made drowsy little noises and went to sleep. The fourth one still clung to the bone, gnawing, hoping for one last bit.

"Cute lil' mite, ain't he?" Hagrid said.

Harry was glad Mori translated because he was having trouble finding anything cute in this pack of piranhas than had stripped a deer leg down to the bone in seconds.

The Fireball nodded in acknowledgment. "Now you can bring my mate."

"What?" said Charley.

"My mate. I cannot leave my nestlings; they are too small and will crawl out of the nest and get eaten, but somebody must hunt for us."

"Uh..." said Charley. "Harry?"

"I'm thinking, but nothing's coming."

"If your mate leaves his territory, he will lose it," Mori said, "then you will have no hunting grounds when you return home."

"Nestlings must be fed," the Short Snout said worriedly, looking at her own eggs.

"Could you maybe take turns?" Harry said.

"Take turns?"

"You know," Harry said, "you watch the nestlings while she hunts."

"But if I give my kill to her nestlings, what will mine eat?"

"You share the kill," Harry said. "Or after she watches your nestlings, you watch hers."

"Harry, what are you doing?" Charley asked in English.

"Solving the problem," he said. "It's not a hard one."

"But if I keep her nestlings in her nest, who will keep my nestlings in my nest?" asked the Fireball.

"Put them all in the same nest together," said Harry.

"That ... might work," the Quetzalcoatl thought it through.

"But we are not an even number," the Short Snout said. "Someone will always not have help."

Hagrid understood just enough to get the general gist. "Tell 'em I'll help, Harry. I was a right good mommy to Norbert an' all."

The dragons looked dubious, but weren't about to turn down a possible food source.

"Good going," Charley said sarcastically. "The three of you have just changed dragon behavior _all over the world,_ FOREVER. They were not social creatures, they were not cooperative creatures. If you hadn't talked to them Mori, they would never have said more to each other than 'Does anyone know what's going on?' They would have returned home and everything would have been the same as it has always been."

"Apart from the Fireball losing half her eggs," Mori said.

Charley opened his mouth to retort but couldn't.

Harry's solution was the only viable one," Mori continued. "We cannot bring their mates here. This forest and lake cannot support ten adult dragons and their offspring. And I was not lying about the males needing to guard their territory."

"He's got a point," Hagrid agreed.

"Are you listening to yourselves?" Charley said. "It's not about what the forest can support. We can't have two dozen dragons and a school full of children right next to each other."

The Short Snout tapped him lightly with her claw. Charley swatted at her. "I not brain sick!"

"Sorry," she said, pulling her paw back. "You forgot how to speak for a moment. You were making human noises again."

~oOo~

.

Weasley twins leaned on each other and loomed over the Hitachiin twins at the lunch table. It would have made any sensible person wary. But then, this  _was_  Hikaru and Kaoru. "So we were thinking, that Midas Jinx has some real possibilities, but Flitwick said he absolutely, under no circumstances would teach it to us."

"It's like he doesn't trust us," said George.

"I wonder why," Hermione muttered under her breath.

"We have no idea," said Fred.

"It wounds us to the core," said George.

"It's not like we would be using it for anything other than educational purposes," Fred said looking innocent.

Hikaru and Kaoru considered. "What'll you trade us for it?"

"Good question. We know how to turn a pillow into a porcupine."

Tamaki came up and smiled at Haruhi.

"Great news!" He enthused. "Professor McGonagall says that I need to teach you the rest of that conjuring spell and that we should spend lots of time together working on it."

"But I'm already done with the Second Task."

"She thinks you practicing with me is very important for your education and should even be considered necessary."

"Did she?"

"Or words to that effect," Kyoya said.

"Huh. Ok."

"Miss Granger," Kyoya said, "would you care to join us?"

"Reallly?" Hermione's eyes widened. "I mean, that's a sixth year spell."

"Not up to it?" he taunted.

"I suppose it really depends on the quality of the instructor," she answered back.

"Great!" Tamaki said. "Then we have a foursome!"

The Hitachiins looked at Tamaki under narrowed eyes, then looked at each other, then looked at the Weasley twins. "Deal."

.

"They don't need to be doing that," said Ron sulkily.

"Doing what?" said Dean.

"Teaching her that spell."

"Are you kidding? Teaching a fourth year a sixth year spell? That's cool. I mean, I'd totally go if they asked me."

"But they didn't ask us, did they?"

Fred glanced over. "Yeah, little brother, they didn't ask you 'cause you're not girls."

Somehow that didn't help.

.

"Now then," Kyoya said, standing beside Hermione, "most important thing when casting a conjuring spell is to be aware of your surroundings, what materials are available to work with."

.

"Ok," said Fred, "the most important thing when pulling a practical joke is to be aware of who is watching. It's ok if people know you did it as long as they can't prove it."

.

"It takes a fair amount of air to create a solid object," Tamaki said, holding his wand upright and moving it in a tight circle. A whirlwind formed and grew, pulling more and more air into the tight funnel. He held out his left hand and a small, faceted crystal dropped into it. "The denser the material you are creating, the more air it takes, so a stone takes more than a living thing." He handed the sparkling gem to Haruhi, who looked at it carefully. "Is this a diamond?" she asked.

"It is indeed," he leaned over and gave her a smoldering hot look.

"Cool," she said, then handed it to Hermione. Tamaki wilted a little

"Drawn from the carbon in the air?" Hermione asked.

"Correct," Kyoya said. He had been right about her ability to see the implications that others overlooked. "However, things tend to want to revert to their original state, so in this case, even a diamond is not forever."

.

"Now the cool thing is, almost no transfigurations are permanent," George said, "which makes it very hard to pin you down."

"So say you turn someone into a newt," Fred elaborated, "then he goes to the teacher and complains and she says 'you don't look like a newt," what's he going to say? 'Well I got better...'"

"Some of these transfigurations we're going to show you," George said, "I mean you'd have to be Flitwick level to even know for certain that they were ever there."

"But Flitwick  _could_  tell?" Hikaru said.

"Oh yeah," Fred nodded. "The man's brilliant when it comes to spells."

"But here's the thing," George said. "He's also a  _Ravenclaw_. Which means he loves a clever, original or precise bit of magic so much, he'll let you get away with it if it's good enough."

.

"How do you already know all this?" Hermione asked. "I know you're sixth years, but these are spells they don't teach until the end of sixth year."

"Our school year starts in April," Kyoya said. "We have half a year advantage on you."

.

"How do you know all this?" Hikaru said, wildly impressed with their cunning.

Fred shrugged. "Our next oldest brother is a prat and a compulsive rule follower."

"He lives for the day when he can make the rules."

"And he certainly wasn't going to put up with any rule breaking from us that might jeopardize his path to prefect and Head Boy."

"So?" Hikaru said.

"So we made sure the Weasley name became much better known for us than him, starting at day two."

"Day two?" said Kaoru.

"Took us twenty-four hours to find the hiding spots and escape routes."

~oOo~

As the students were heading into dinner, Hagrid headed towards the forest with a bucket of chicken blood and brandy, a string of dead ferrets and a book on  _Dragons of the World_  tucked under his arm. "What are you doing?" Harry asked.

"Goin' ter give the little ones a bedtime snack. Said I'd help feed 'em."

Harry doubted the wisdom of sending Hagrid to the dragons alone. "Do you want me or Mori to come with you?"

"No, I got it," Hagrid walked off humming to himself.

.

"There's a human coming this way," the Welsh Green said.

"Is it one of our humans?" the Fireball said nervously as she tucked her little ones safely beneath her into the nest.

The Horntail flew to the entrance to the clearing and bristled threateningly.

Hagrid bowed politely. "Greenings."

"Greenings?" The Horntail looked confused.

Hagrid breezed past her into the middle of the clearing. He held up the bucket and ferrets and proudly said "I nest food babies."

The dragons looked even more confused. "Are we supposed to eat him?"

"But they asked us not to eat any of the humans," the Green said.

"And prey doesn't normally ask to be eaten," said the Quetzalcoatl.

"Maybe he caught brain sickness from the red one." The Short Snout tapped him lightly with her claw to see if he was unsteady. He set down his bucket and petted her claw. "See?" he said to himself in English, "Friendly as can be."

"It looks like he's motioning you to crush him," the Horntail observed.

Fortunately, Hagrid picked up the bucket and walked over to the Fireball's nest. He held it out to her. She looked at the others then leaned forward and sniffed. He set it down and gently tried to shove the Fireball off her nest.

"Is he trying to get to the nestlings?" the Short Snout said.

"Well he did say he was baby food," the Quetzalcoatl answered.

Kasaiana shifted just a little bit, prepared to roast Hagrid if he hurt her hatchlings. He set the bucket in the nest causing the babies to sniff skeptically. The first hatched tasted the outside of the bucket and made a disapproving noise.

Hagrid chuckled. "Food be inside." He scooped up the baby, oblivious to its mother inhaling sharply and held it up to the rim of the bucket. It leaned forward, took a cautious taste then scrambled, clawing at Hagrid to get into the pail, slurping noisily. The others all sat bolt upright then draped themselves on the bucket. The chicken blood-brandy mix was gone in minutes. They looked back at the furry game keeper and demanded more. He put a dead ferret down and they all swarmed it. He pulled them off one by one, setting each on its own ferret. When nothing remained except a few tufts of fur, the babies all looked at Hagrid to see what else he had. "Nest-tale," he gestured at the book. They all crawled over. He opened the book to the first page.

" _Dragons" is a term applied to any of various large, magical, reptilian (or avian in the case of the Quetzalcoatl) creatures capable of flight and breathing fire..._

Hagrid smiled. "Once upon a time, there was a land with many dragons," he translated. Of course, given his limited dragon-speech, it came out "One time many dragons," but it didn't really matter. "Lookit." He pointed to a photo of a blue dragon hovering over the tundra. It folded its wings and dove, scattering a herd of reindeer, taking down a fat buck. The little dragons all inhaled sharply, looked up at the Short Snout, down at the book and back up at the Short Snout then began warbling in excitement. The adults leaned over to see what had the nestlings so keyed up. Hagrid turned the page. "Mama has babies." Ok, so the "mama" on the previous page has been a Swedish Short Snout and the baby was a Chinese Black and the section header actually said  **Major Morphological Groups**. It was a bedtime story, right? The little black fledgling zigzagged around his photo, bouncing off the edges, stopped to chase his tail before resuming his zigzagging. The little red fireballs watched the black dragon intently until one of them could take it no longer and poked lightly at the picture. The black dragon dodged and looked up, delighted to have someone to play with. They poked, he dodged, they poked, he dodged, they chittered and twitched. Mama leaned over. "Is that baby trapped?"

"No, no," Hagrid said. "It's a ..." he didn't know the word for photograph. He held up the book to try to show them. The Welsh Green grabbed the book in her teeth and shook her head vigorously, but the trapped baby didn't fall out. If did, however, look very dizzy.

"Get him out!" the Horntail demanded.

"No, no," Hagrid protested. He flipped the page back and forth to show them it only looked like a box, there was no actual depth.

"He's being squished!" the Short Snout wailed. "Someone do something!"

The Quetzalcoatl bit the edge of the paper and ripped the page out of the book and shook it, but the baby still didn't fall out. Now it cowered in the corner of its torn photo shaking in fear that its world was being destroyed.

"Why won't it come out?" the Green breathed in a state of building panic.

"Can't," Hagrid said.

"This one is too stupid," the Horntail said. "We need to get the smart ones."

"They're in their nest," the Short Snout said.

"I can fit!" the Quetzalcoatl said. "I got into the One-Who-Heals' cave."

"You can't go alone; there are too many humans there and the stupid ones can be dangerous." The Fireball hesitated then looked at the Horntail. "Don't let anything hurt my babies." She took off after the Quetzalcoatl.

.

They landed in the courtyard and studied the nest-cave. The only dragonsized opening was blocked by dead trees. With iron branches draped across. The Quetzalcoatl head butted it hard and the doors crashed open, banging loudly as they slammed into the stone walls. It was a tight squeeze but if she held her breath, she could just slip through. It was even tighter for Kasaiana, but the red dragon remembered what that nasty human had done to her eye and she wasn't going to let her unsuspecting friend face that alone.

They paused in the entry hall and sniffed. The ones they were after were definitely somewhere to the right. They slipped through the archway into the Great Hall when weirdly, all the little humans started running and screaming and diving under the flattened, cut trees. Honestly, human behavior was so very strange.

The teachers all rose and drew their wands. Alone at their tables, Fleur, Krum and Cedric also stood their ground. At the Gryffindor table, Harry, Mori and Haruhi remained. Tamaki tackled Haruhi and lay on top of her on the floor. "Don't worry, I'll protect you!"

"Stunning spells on three," Dumbledore said.

"A Killing Curse would be a safer bet," Moody said.

"With all these students?" McGonagall said indignantly. "What if somebody missed?"

Kasaiana caught Krum's scent, wheeled to face him, tensed and growled.

" _Stun_ ," said Dumbledore, hoping to Merlin that Moody and Karkaroff would listen to him. "One, two..."

"No, wait!" said Harry. He turned to the dragons. "What are you doing in here?"

The dragons, hearing a friendly voice, crawled right over the Ravenclaw table to get to the Gryffindor table, causing the Ravenclaw and Beauxbatons students hiding under said tables to emit little squeaks of fear. "There's a baby trapped. You need to help us get it out."

"Trapped?" said Mori.

The Quetzalcoatl nodded and leaned forward. Mori gently took the paper from between her teeth. He looked at it, raised an eyebrow and passed it to Harry.

Hagrid burst into the room, breathless from running across the grounds. "Sorry. Sorry 'bout this everybody. I was readin' the dragons a bedtime story and din' know the word for photograph."

"They don't have a word for photograph, Hagrid, because  _they don't know about photos_." Harry put a little more emphasis on that than he had intended.

"They do now," Charley muttered from the head table.

"Oh," said Hagrid. "Right yeh are, Harry. Sorry 'bout that."

"I am so going to get fired," Charley said.

"You have to help us get him out," Kasaiana said, craning her neck around to look at the frightened dragonette cowering in the corner of his torn photo.

"Um..." said Harry.

"It's not a real dragon," said Mori. "Have you flown over a lake and seen a dragon in the water that looks like you and moves as you, but when you touch it, you discover it is only your shadow in color?"

The dragons scrunched up their faces and thought about it. "Yes... but there is no water," said the feathered dragon.

"And where is the baby casting the shadow?" added the Fireball.

"You remember how the Red One" Harry nodded at Charley, "made your voices stay in the large yellow tree leaves? Somebody did that with a shadow."

The Chinese dragon leaned in close. "Are you sure? I don't think the Furry One is smart enough to do that."

"He didn't make it," said Harry, "he just has it."

"Hmm," the Quetzalcoatl, still draped across the Ravenclaw table, put her head down on the Gryffindor table to think.

"Mr. Potter?" said McGonagall.

He waived his hand to indicate it was all right.

"Get off me, senpai," Haruhi shoved Tamaki. "They're not going to hurt me."

"Luna! What are you doing?" hissed Padma.

Sure enough, the blonde girl had slipped out from under the table and was petting the Quetzalcoatl. "Her feathers are so soft."

"She's so brave," sighed Neville.

"More like barking mad," said Ron.

"And where is the baby who cast this shadow?" The new mother refused to let it go.

"Probably grown up by now," Mori said.

"Does it hurt him to have lost his shadow?" the Quetzalcoatl asked.

" _Lumos_ ," said Mori.

" _Lumos_ ," said Harry.

"Look," Mori said, "you have two shadows." He extinguished his wand. "Now you have one. Did it hurt?"

The Fireball gently poked at the picture, but the little dragon wasn't dodging playfully, it just shrank farther into the corner of the photo. "Are you sure it's a shadow? Shadows can't be hurt, so why is it frightened?"

"Well you did just tear its home in half."

"Can you fix it?"

"Um..." Harry said. He looked at Mori, who shrugged noncommittally. Harry bent over and stuck his head under the table. "Hermione, will a  _reparo_  spell fix a magic photograph?"

"No," her muffled voice came out from under the heavy oak planks. "That requires a special spell. Madame Pince probably knows it though."

He looked at the librarian sitting at the head table. "Madame Pince, could you put the page back in the book?"

"Are you mad?" she said. "I'm not walking into a dragon's den for a book that's not even rare or valuable."

"It's very important to them," Harry said.

"Nothing doing," she said.

"Oh grow a spine, Irma," said Madame Pomfrey. "They're not asking you to do anything you haven't done a hundred times before."

"When stupid students damage books, not bloodthirsty dragons. If you think it's such a splendid idea, you go."

Madame Pomfrey glared at her, reached over, grabbed the librarian's wrist, and dragged her out from behind the faculty table. She snatched the torn book page with her free hand as they passed the Gryffindor table and marched out the door. Every living thing in the hall blinked. The Quetzalcoatl spun around, rubbing up against Luna as she followed the One-Who-Heals out of the hall. The Fireball also wheeled, hissing at Krum as she passed him, and stalked out, swishing her tail and knocking Krum flat.

"Sorry," said Harry to Krum as he joined the parade.

"But you did kind of deserve that," added Mori.

.

The next morning, Hagrid headed out with another bucket of chicken blood and brandy and a four dead hares. "Those are twice the size of yesterday's ferrets," Ron said.

Hagrid beamed. "Babies got ter eat ter grow."

The evening saw a larger bucket and geese.

"Uhhhh..." said Ron.

"I'm sure we don't want to know," said Hermione

In the morning, he had two buckets and a side of mutton.

"Ok, they cannot possibly be growing that fast."

"'Course not," Hagrid chuckled. "The Welsh Greens started hatchin' las' night."

"What?" Said Harry.

"Cutest mites, flappin' their lit'le green wings to dry."

The trio watched Hagrid stroll off. Harry looked torn. "Grab me some toast of something." He sprinted after Hagrid.

.

The Quetzalcoatl circled around the Ouran mansion trying to figure out how to get The-One-Who-Speaks-Well out without going in. The-One-Raised-By-Snakes had emphatically told them they should not just enter the human nest without warning, that the adults might take it as a threat to the fledglings and react badly. Halalfelul opined that if humans couldn't tell the difference between attack posture, hunting, and friendly, they were indeed stupid. "Besides, we promised we would not initiate any attack."

"Yeeeaaaaahhhh," Harry dragged out the word, thinking about all the professors with their wands pointed at the dragons. "But if one of us flew into your nest..."

"You mean like you did?" the Horntail said.

Harry nodded. "And thank you for not killing me. For what it's worth, they probably would have just tried to put you to sleep and you would've woken up back on your nest."  _Probably_. It was weird that Moody, an auror famous for bringing them in alive, wanted to kill a dragon. Where did that come from?

.

"Hey, we're going down to breakfast and we're taking Haruhi with us," shouted Hikaru.

"I'm not ready to go yet," she answered.

"You're close enough."

"No I'm not, I need my books." She dashed back to her room to get them.

Tamaki opened the door and almost immediately jumped back, yelping and clutching his heart as a large feathery face leaned forwards making an inquisitive rumble.

"Takashi, it's for you," Honey's singsong voice called out.

"Greetings," Mori bowed politely.

"Arianawel's eggs are hatching. You should come." The Quetzalcoatl bobbed her head.

"I would be honored."

"And bring the female."

Mori cocked his head. "Why?"

The feathered dragon rolled her eyes (and indeed her whole head) expressively before leaning in to whisper conspiratorially "So she will associate you with nesting."

Mori nodded. "Haruhi, the green dragon's eggs are hatching. Would you like to go and see?"

"Why would she want to see that?" Hikaru said.

"Because she'll never have the chance again."

Haruhi considered. "Yeah, ok."

"Then we should all go," said Tamaki.

"No way," said Hikaru.

"Those things are dangerous," said Kaoru.

"We have to go," Tamaki pleaded.

"No we don't."

"Count us out."

"Where's your sense of loyalty? Where's your sense of chivalry?" Tamaki said.

"Where's you sense of self-preservation?" said Hikaru.

"Yeah, remember the other day when those things tried to kill you?"

Tamaki started to pout.

"Stop with the puppy eyes already," said Hikaru.

The sad look deepened.

"It's not going to work," said Kaoru.

Tamaki blinked with innocent hope.

"No," said Hikaru.

A small whimper, and the twins' shoulders slumped.

 

~oOo~

 

Harry arrived in the Forbidden Forest only steps behind Hagrid. "Greasingsss!" said Hagrid, holding up the buckets and mutton.

The Horntail looked at him, still trying to decide if he was lunch or not.

"Greetingsss," said Harry.

The Horntail made an exasperated noise but let them pass.

In the clearing, Charley sat making notes in a brown leather-bound volume. "So the Chinese Fireball's eggs all hatched within an hour or so, but the Common Welsh Green's hatch over a twenty four hour period." Three of her eggs had hatched, a fourth was starting to crack and the last one had a slight wobble.

Arianawel hummed a low sustained note. Tamaki cocked his head. The oldest of the hatchlings repeated the note, pitch perfect, two octaves higher. Then the others followed suit with a major third and a perfect fifth. From inside one of the shells came a muffled note completing the arpeggio. "That was C Major," Tamaki moved over to the nest.

"What are you doing, senpai?" Haruhi said. "You can't just walk over to a dragon with newly hatched babies!"

Tamaki repeated the notes of the chord in the octave in between the mother and her children. The Welsh dragons stared, amazed. They weren't alone.

"Tamaki-senpai can sing?" said Haruhi.

"Tama-chan is a world class pianist," said Honey.

"He is a world class pianist," said Kyoya.

"He is a world class pianist," agreed Mori.

"When you're that good, you can usually at least hum the notes," said Kaoru.

"Just 'cause  _you_  can't sing..." said Hikaru.

Haruhi shoved Hikaru and turned her attention back to the nest. Tamaki then hummed the minor chord. The little dragons all rose up on their haunches, fanned their wings and scolded him fiercely. He looked back at Harry and Mori.

"Apparently, you're not supposed to sing sad notes on a happy day," Harry explained.

"Ah," said Tamaki. He repeated the C major notes. The little ones settled down but continued to eye him suspiciously. He built on the top of the C major, following it with a G major, but couldn't do too much more without overreaching his range. He had a feeling a sour note would be worse than a sad one.

The mother dragon looked curious. "Can all humans sing?" she asked the One-Who-Speaks-Well.

"Some better than others," Mori glanced at Haruhi.

"Do all dragons sing?" Harry asked Charley.

"Not dragons really. It more of a Welsh magical creatures thing. I suspect it's something in the water."

Further discussion was cut short when the humming speckled egg developed a noticeable crack. Arianawel leaned over and gave an encouraging croon. A small claw broke through the shell and pulled, tearing the shell inward. The crack lengthened and the shell split. The little green looked around, startled. She rose on her haunches and flapped her wings to dry. Hagrid was so entranced he didn't even notice the small Fireball climbing up his leg then down his arm to bury its face in the bucket he was holding, or even the loud slurping noises echoing off the metal. The mother hummed her low C and the elder three repeated their C, E, and G. The newly hatched one looked up and warbled the unclaimed E flat from Tamaki's minor chord. The other dragons all turned to glare at the blond. This was clearly his fault.

It was only when Hagrid went over to offer the bucket to the baby Greens that he noticed there was a red dragon inside. "Hey now, that were fer them." The little Fireball scrambled out of the pail, zipped around the Welsh dragon's nest, sniffing each of the babies and the unhatched egg before scurrying back to his own nest. He warbled a question to his mother, who rumbled back. He, followed by each of the others in turn, poked his head up to look at the newly hatched from behind the safety of his mother's tail.

The little Greens finished the chicken blood and brandy then turned to their mother for more. It turned out that unlike the Fireballs who had easily ripped into the venison right after hatching, the Greens didn't have the jaw strength to tear into the sheep's carcass; their mother shredded the meat for them, even chewing it before feeding them like a bird. Once they were full, she nuzzled each of them and even the unhatched egg then curled her tail around them while they waited for their last sibling to hatch and sang them all a lullaby.

_Arise my loves and see the dawn_

_and summer fields filled with fawns_

_grow fat on milk and grasses sweet_

_That make a tasty morning treat_

_Find now your wings and learn to fly_

_through dancing cloud and singing sky_

_And chase the swans on northward flight_

_and build a healthy appetite_

_Westward flows the whale-road blue,_

_Tuck wings and strike the orca true_

_Then sunset golden o'er the sea_

_With bellies full, return to me_

~oOo~

Down by the lake on their free afternoon, three Ouran students and one Hogwarts student pulled out their wands. "To continue our conjuring lessons, there are several difficulty factors which must be taken into account," Kyoya said, "chiefly the nature of your starting material vs. the size, complexity and density of the final form." He gestured, indicating the giant swan drifting lazily across the lake then dipping its head in the water, pulling up greenery from the lakebed.

.

Out behind the greenhouses, two Ouran students and two Hogwarts students lounged on the grass. "So did you guys want the Midas Jinx as it's written or as we cast it?"

"What's the difference?" asked George.

"That whole turning to lead when someone else touches it thing? That was our magical research project."

"So you guys are the only ones who know how to do it?" Fred said.

"Wicked," said George.

.

"As we said last time, most transfigured objects want to return to their natural state," Tamaki said.

"The key word being ' _most_ ,'" Kyoya added.

"You mean you can make transfigurations permanent?" Hermione said.

" _I_  can, the question is, can  _you_?," Kyoya taunted her.

"Stabilizing things in their transfigured forms adds an entire layer of difficulty," Tamaki explained.

"Most wizards lack either the raw magical power or trained focus to achieve it," Kyoya said. "Indeed, most wizards lack both."

.

"The Midas jinx is a layered spell - you're creating a temporary magical artifact (the hand) that creates a temporary transfiguration to gold on top of a permanent transfiguration to lead," Hikaru explained.

"Could you make it so gold was the permanent one?" George asked.

"You could," said Hikaru, "but then the goblins would show up and kill you for destabilizing wizarding currency."

.

Fleur Delacour shook out her long hair the color of morning sunlight and sauntered from the carriage down to the lakeshore. "Bonjour," she said smiling at Tamaki. She nodded pleasantly to Haruhi, her fellow Tri Wizard champion, then allowed her eyes to slip dismissively over Hermione to light on Kyoya. "And what are you doing, eef I may ask?"

"They're teaching us the full conjuring spell," said Haruhi. She gave she wand a punctuated twirl and a whirlwind formed, but nothing coalesced at the base.

"Direct deposition of a gas to a solid is one of the most difficult transfigurations," Tamaki said. "Let me show you." He took her hand in his and leaned over Haruhi's tiny frame.

"Eez zis a private class or may I join?" Hermione could practically  _feel_  Fleur ratchet up the veela charm. She clenched her teeth and waited for inevitable reaction that happened  _every single time_  with  _every single guy._ Sure enough, both Tamaki and Kyoya's heads snapped around. But then... unlike the other boys who went slack jawed, Tamaki gave her an enchanting smile and Kyoya merely raised an eyebrow. The golden-haired boy reached out with the tips of his fingers, turned her face to his. "We would be honored for my princess to join us." Suddenly, it was Fleur who was lost in those violet-blue eyes, her normally animated face going blank.

"But surely," Kyoya said is a soft voice, "so talented a witch as yourself must already know that spell?"

With great difficulty, Fleur tore her eyes from Tamaki and turned to his dark haired companion. "But of course," she said coquettishly, trying to regain control, "eet was ze basis for ze illusion I cast in ze first challenge."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "All you did was make clouds out of the air. How hard could that be?"

Fleur turned to Hermione, her expression anything  _but_  lovely.

"I don't know," said Haruhi. "She scored higher than I did."

Fleur rewarded Haruhi with a smug little smile.

"Of course that wasn't hard, given that I was almost disqualified," Haruhi said, totally unaware she was giving offense. She twirled her wand around again. "Oh, hey, I got something this time." She held up a small ice crystal.

.

"Viktor," called out Karkaroff from the starboard rail of the Durmstrang ship, "Look. Two of the Champions are practicing some spells. You should go, find out vhat they are doing, and how vell they do it, and vhat they think they vill find in the maze."

Krum started to reply he wasn't in the slightest bit interested in what the two worst performing Champions thought or could do, but then he noticed who else was practicing with them. Hermy-own-ninny. "Highmaster." He gave a cursory neck bow, clicked his heels sharply and off he went.

.

Right out of the gate, Hermione was getting much better results than Haruhi, and Haruhi was one hell of a talented witch. Kyoya touched a finger to his lips to hide the calculating smile. She was what Kyoya suspected: intelligent, capable, logical, beautiful,  _powerful_. A fascinating young woman. He glanced over at Haruhi. She was all those things and Japanese besides, an easier sell for his family. While he watched, Tamaki came up behind Haruhi to wrap an arm around her, adjusting her stance and whispering in her ear, correcting her pronunciation. His best friend was utterly besotted with her. All of his friends were. Not that an Ootori shied away from competition, but there was no profit in pining over outcomes that were unlikely, especially if the price of winning might be losing your close friends, and doubly so when there were not one but two very attractive alternatives before him. "Hermione, work  _with_  your element, not against it. Your wand movements are too crisp. Air does not move in sharp angles."

"But the book says _"it is important to make firm and decisive wand movements. Do not wiggle or twirl your wand unnecessarily, or the Transfiguration will certainly be unsuccessful_ " Hermione quoted the text verbatim.

"Non, non, Kyoya is correct," Fleur favored him with a winning smile. She shook out her hair and sauntered up behind Hermione, blocking Kyoya's view of the younger girl. "Like zis." She moved with liquid grace and the wind flowed with her, swirling into a pale rose, the color of her hair. It was nicely done, Hermione reluctantly admitted; which was weird, as Hermione couldn't remember ever begrudging a fellow student's success. It made her feel almost Malfoy-like. Yuck.

Fleur twirled around and presented the flower to Kyoya before twirling back. "Now you try."

Hermione copied Fleur's gestures; unfortunately they worked. She drew in twice the air she had managed previously, so much so, she had to alter the transfiguration mid spell, creating a small crystal vase, condensing the extra air into water.

"Well done, leettle girl!" Fleur clapped her hand condescendingly. "Such a talented  _child_."

Hermione hid her irritation behind a syrupy sweet voice. "I thought I'd make a vase to put your flower into. You were right, Kyoya-senpai, density does make a difference. The vase was tricky, but the water practically formed itself. Oh, but I see it was unnecessary. The bloom is already fading from Fleur's rose."

The color wasn't fading, the rose itself was starting to dematerialize. Unfortunately into lovely little sparkles before they evaporated, which may or may not have been intentional.

"How long do most conjurations last?" Hermione asked innocently.

"That depends on the skill and power of the witch casting the spell," Kyoya answered.

"And on ze complexity of ze creation," Fleur made sure to point out. "Living zings, zey are much more difficult zan inanimate objets." She conjured a bluebird of the same type the Beauxbatons students had their first night at Hogwarts.

"You're quite the witch, aren't you," Hermione muttered under her breath, half meaning it in the muggle

derogatory.

"Pardon?" Fleur blinked at her innocently.

"I was just admiring how the students of Beauxbatons can cast that spell by rote, with no personal touch." Hermione smiled. "Are living things really that much more difficult?" She nodded at the disintegrating rose stem then at the giant swan, lazily paddling towards shore and the lush greenery at waters' edge.

"It can be, but Tamaki is an exceptionally powerful wizard," Kyoya said.

"Is he?" The girls looked over at the easygoing guy who seemed a bit of a goof. Haruhi was knee deep in white roses wearing a necklace with a baroque pearl shaped suspiciously like a piece of sushi while a choir of birds tweeted Mozart.

"Cut it out senpai." Haruhi said, exasperated. "I'm the one who is supposed to be practicing, not you."

As soon as her back was turned, a dozen butterflies with scarlet heart-shaped wings appeared out of his wand and settled in the flowers.

"How long will all this last?" Hermione said.

"Months," Kyoya said with a long-suffering tone and pinched the bridge of his nose.

 _"_ But zat requires beaucoup de talent," Fleur said, lightly touching Hermione's arm. "You need not feel bad eef you cannot do eet."

 _All right then, something larger and more complex than a bluebird_. Which was automatically tricky, since Hermione had never conjured anything before today. But Kyoya's explanations of the underlying magical theory and practical manipulation had been thorough and concise. Apart from McGonagall, Flitwick and Snape, she'd never had a teacher as good as Kyoya. Scratch Snape, she thought. He didn't bother explaining the ingredient interactions that caused the potions to work. She briefly considered creating a mate for the giant swan, currently grazing on the bankside grass. No, McGonagall said size added to difficulty and this was new; Hermione would rather not fail. A phoenix? Impressive, but they were magical creatures. To give it powers would require layering a charm on top of a transfiguration, which Professor Flitwick said was difficult. She was secretly relieved that he refused to teach them that yet. She could only imagine how much trouble the Weasley twins would cause if they knew how to do it.  _Oh! That was perfect!_ She parsed through the words a gestures needed based on Kyoya's explanations. She just needed to concentrate and ...

"Vhat are you vorking on Hermy-own-ninny?"

"What?" She said, startled. "Oh, um, Kyoya was teaching me the conjuring spell."

"Very difficult magic," he said.

"I don't know that it is," Hermione said thoughtfully. "I mean it certainly requires more control," she said seeing all three raise their eyebrows. "When you transfigure a match into a needle, you have a fixed total mass but when you conjure from the air, you can keep drawing it in. There are functionally no limits on this spell."

"The limit is you, Miss Granger," Kyoya said. "No wizard can continuously cast a spell indefinitely."

"True, but Professor Binns told us that during the Second Goblin Rebellion, a group of wizards combined their power to shield a group of children. Could the same be done with a conjuration?"

"It's an intriguing notion," Kyoya said

Fleur looked back and forth between the Ouran student and the Hogwarts student and up went the veela charm again. "Viktor," she said, "I am told zat Durmstrang is ze best in ze world at transfiguration, non?"

Krum looked confused. "Ve are as good as anyvon, I suppose."

"Zen you should be ze one to practice wiz Miz Granger, n'est-ce pas?"

He flashed Fleur an awkwardly pleased smile. "I vould be honored."

"You know, you don't need to do that," Haruhi said.

"It vould be my pleasure," Krum insisted.

"Not you. Fleur," Haruhi said. "You don't need to run up that glamour of yours every time you're around guys. Viktor already likes Hermione, so your effect on him is minimal by default and if Tamaki-senpai and Kyoya-senpai didn't want you around, they wouldn't let you stay. They're both very powerful wizards; your magic is not strong enough to overcome their free will. And frankly, you're a lot of trouble."

Everybody froze at her bluntness. "I do not do zis!" Fleur protested.

"You mean you don't know you're doing it or you can't control it?" Fleur gaped, but Haruhi just ploughed on totally unaware she was giving offense. "You should work with Tamaki-senpai for a while. He's got his down cold. And I don't mind practicing with Hermione here if she doesn't mind it. She's way better at this than I am, heck she's almost as good as you, Fleur, for all that you have two years on her. I'm not saying you're weak or anything, it's just that Hermione Granger is, by any definition of the word, brilliant."

.

"Ok, that's just freaking brilliant," Fred said.

"I know, right?" Hikaru said. "No one does research anymore, and when they do it's on ' _serious_ ' stuff. It's like they forgot magic is supposed to be fun."

"Or when they try to do something fun, it's lame-o because the wizards doing it weren't very good," Kaoru said.

"Which is why, when we graduate, Fred and I are going to open up a joke shop," George said.

"And we're not only going to sell the old stuff everyone has, we're inventing whole new jokes."

"We've started work on something we're calling Skiving Snackboxes."

"Snacks that make you so sick, the teacher has to let you leave class."

"But they wear off before you get to the nurse's office."

Hikaru considered. "Won't the teachers eventually get wise and make you stay in class till it wears off?"

Fred and George looked at each other. "Good point. Maybe we should make an antidote snack instead," they said.

"We just have to figure out how we're getting the money to start the shop."

"Dude, we'd totally underwrite that," Hikaru and Kaoru said together.

Fred and George snorted. "You happen to have a thousand galleons?"

~oOo~

"Mama, we're bored," the first-hatched Fireball complained.

"The Quetzalcoatl's eggs have hatched. You could go play with them."

"Mama, they're  _babies_!" He stretched out to emphasize the nearly twelve inches he'd grown since hatching. "They don't do anything besides eat and sleep. We're much bigger now."

"You not so big I can't  _gobble you up in a single bite_!" She scooped them up in her mouth.

"Put us down, Mama. We're too big to be picked up," the protest came from between her teeth. She set them back down.

"I'm not too big mama," the last-hatched said rubbing herself against her mama's nose. Kasaiana nuzzled her little one back, them each of the others in turn, finishing with her protesting eldest.

"Could be go hunt rabbits on the lawn?" The second-hatched gave a hopeful look.

"You must promise to stay away from the humans," she said sternly.

They all nodded in unison. "We know," they recited. "The only humans we can trust are the One-Who-Speaks-Well, the One-Raised-By-Snakes, the Red-One-Who-Gets-Brain-Sick, the Furry-One and the One-Who-Heals."

"Very well, then."

They flowed out of the nest and over to the Green's nest. "We're gonna hunt rabbits on the lawn. Wanna come?"

Five little pairs of eyes looked up at Arianawel. "Pleeeeaaaaase? Please, Please, Please?" They chanted musically.

She considered. "Well, it's still early morning so the rabbits are out but not many of the humans, so all right. You remember what the good humans smell like?"

"Yes, mama," they chorused.

The hatchlings scampered off, pausing briefly at the Quetzalcoatl's nest to look at the three downy little yellow puffballs.

.

Half the students at Hogwarts missed their breakfasts watching the dragonettes play on the lawn. They couldn't fly yet and could only sprint short distances so they weren't very good hunters. But they made several valiant leaps in the air after butterflies and one of the red dragons caught a field mouse. Then the first-hatched Green pounced on the first-hatched Fireball and noisy, rolling squabble ensued punctuated by the occasional burst of flame, only breaking up when the Ouran students crossed the lawn to the castle. The little dragons all sat up on their haunches and sniffed at the familiar scent. They bounded over to the One-Who-Speaks-Well, hoping for another playmate. "What are you doing?"

"I am going to eat," Mori answered.

"Food?" They all perked up.

"Mostly plants," he said.

They cocked their head, analyzing the statement. "Why would you eat plants?" "Did your hunt fail?" "I caught a mouse."

"And a mighty hunter you are," Mori bowed respectfully, "but I like plants."

They looked at each other. Nobody ate plants if they could catch real food. "You could hunt with us." "There are bugs and mice." "And rabbits, but they are faster than they look."

"Thank you, but I will eat my plants."

Hmmm. He must be embarrassed. Well, humans needed help sometimes. While the others were distracting him, the first-hatched Fireball jumped up and climbed into his book bag.

When the bouncing finally stopped and the bag was dropped on the floor, the dragon poked his head out. He slowly rose up to take a better look. In front of the human was a circle of metal piled up with some white stuff, some brown stuff and a big red lump, none of it meat. He sniffed. There was, however, some meat nearby. Stiff looking fish and some slugs that smelled like boar meat after mama had flamed it. Slugs couldn't move as fast; he'd go for the fish first. He narrowed his eyes to gauge the distance, tensed his shoulders, wiggled his butt as he moved his hind legs forward, unsheathed his claws and sprung.

.

"Aagh! What the hell, Mori?" Haruhi had just been reaching for a kipper when the little red dragon pounced.

"What are you doing here?" Harry hissed.

He turned around and dropped the fish on Mori's plate. "I am hunting!" He leaned over to Harry, adding conspiratorially "The One-Who-Speaks-Well may not be as good a hunter as Mama thinks."

"He's an excellent hunter," Harry assured him.

The dragon looked at Harry's plate. There was a suspicious amount of plant-based food in front of him. Maybe hunting skills were relative and humans didn't really understand what hunting skills were. "I will get you a slug," he volunteered.

"Uh, no, that's ok," Harry looked queasy wondering what he was going to have to eat in the name of diplomacy. The little dragon pounced on the plate of sausages and proudly dropped it in front of Harry. "Thank you," Harry said. The dragon licked the top of his mouth a couple times. "You may have one if you would like."

He pounced on the sausages again and started to eat. Harry scooped him up and deposited him on the bench between himself and Mori. "Predators sit here, prey goes up there," Harry gestured at the table.

"Why?"

"Um, good question." The real reason was so nobody freaked out and attacked him.

"It's less messy," Mori said.

After breakfast, Mori informed him that he would have to go back to his mother. "Why?"

"This morning I will be working with the giant flying horses, who might be scared of a dragon."

 _Or more likely think it was a snake and trample on it,_  Harry thought.

 

~oOo~

 

Double Potions with the Slytherins was definitely Harry's least favorite class. When you factored in the fellow students as well as the teacher, it was even worse than Divinations.

"Open your books to page 125," Snape said. "You will begin your work on the antidote to manticore venom. Who knows? It may soon come in handy." He glanced at the Gryffindor side of the room.

Harry paled a little.

Ron looked over at him. "Don't worry. There's no way Dumbledore would let them put something like that in the maze. Besides, Hagrid would be over the moon if they were bringing something like that here."

"Professor," Hermione raised her hand. "Would this work on screwt venom as well?"

Snake raised an eyebrow. "It's never been tested for such."

Hermione went to work, more determined than ever to get it right. Just in case.

Harry reached into his bag to grab his book and came up with a handful of baby Fireball. "I thought the One-Who-Speaks-Well took you back to the forest."

"He said he was studying prey and I couldn't go, remember? So I came with you!"

"Harry, what are you doing?" Hermione mouthed silently. Harry nodded at the dragon's head poking out of his bag.

"Sssstay in there," his snake accent became more pronounced as he got unnerved.

"Are you talking to your book bag, Mr. Potter?"

"No sir. I mean, yes sir. I mean, I was talking to myself, sir."

Snape started to come over to see what they were up to.

"He was asking me how finely to cut the toad skin, sir," Hermione rescued him. "He didn't read the chapter."

"No one likes a tattle-tale, Miss Granger. Two points from Gryffindor. And two more points for Mr. Potter's unpreparedness."

"You could've said you didn't read the chapter and were asking Harry," Ron whispered.

She just gave him a look. Yeah, that was totally workable.

She waived her wand and the toadstool turned into a bright red beetle. "Ok, that's just gross," said Ron.

She picked up the beetle and tossed it in Harry's book bag. "That's really gross," said Ron, but the little dragon dove into the bag to chase it.

All through class, Harry's bag rolled and thumped and made growling noises. "Uh, Harry...!" Neville said.

"There's nothing in my bag," Harry said.

"Uh huh." Neville eyed it cautiously.

Unfortunately, Harry was so distracted that at the end of the class, what should have been vibrant emerald colored potion was really more dark pine, although it at least beat Ron's, which was a hideous goose-turd green. Hermione's was about the right color though.

" _What_  is that?" Snape said acidly.

Harry turned back in time to see the dragon climb into his work table, triumphantly holding the beetle in his mouth. "Sorry sir," Harry said as the dragon rose up on his hind legs to peer into Harry's cauldron and made skeptical warble. "He stowed away in my book bag."

"Pets are not permitted in class. Ten points from Gryffindor. And get that thing out of here."

Harry reached down but the little red had scurried over the Ron's cauldron to investigate. One sniff and he made a disgusted noise, knocked the cauldron over and flamed the gooey, dripping liquid for good measure.

"What a pity, Mr. Weasley," Snape said. "A zero for the day."

Draco Malfoy grinned as the dragon hatchling scolded Ron. "What did I do?" Ron protested.

"He said you had too much toad skin and not enough toadstool," Harry said.

"He can tell what was wrong?" Snape narrowed his eyes.

Harry nodded. "They have very sensitive noses."

Snape considered. "Ask him what he think of the potion on my desk."

Harry gulped and whispered in Parceltongue "This is what it's supposed to smell like." Antagonizing Snape might end with the dragon being turned into potion ingredients. The Fireball sniffed and nodded.

"Ask him which ones in this room are good." Snape almost looked amused as the dragon jumped up on the front bench. Over went Seamus's and Dean's cauldrons. He leapt across to the next table, knocked over Crabbe's and Goyle's. Malfoy's he left standing, but Parkinson's went over with scolding warble. It was quite possibly worse than Ron's. Front to back on the Slytherin side of the room, them back to front on the Gryffindor side, finally ending up back on Harry's desk. He sniffed Harry's once, then twice, then paused to consider carefully before dumping the contents on the floor. In the end, only three cauldrons passed the test: Hermione's, Malfoy's and Zabini's. He sat up and faced Snape, pleased with himself.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Full marks for you three. The rest of you, clean up your messes and get out of here."

"Thanks a lot, Harry," Dean muttered as they filed out of the room. "You found the only living thing that grades harder than Snape."

"Harry!" Hermione said urgently, "You left the dragon in there with Snape. Its mother will go berserk if he hurts it."

He'd been so busy cleaning up, he'd forgotten. Harry dashed back in the room. Snape's back was turned, so Harry wasn't entirely sure, but it looked like the Potions Master was petting the dragon and offering it chicken livers. "Professor?" Harry said tentatively.

Snape whirled around and glared at him. "Ten points from Gryffindor!" Snape said for no reason.

"Yes sir, I just needed to get the dragon back to his mother."

"By all means, take this disgusting creature and go." He swatted angrily at the dragon, who dodged playfully, rubbed up against him as it slid past and jumped into Harry's bag.

 

~oOo~

 

"Sorry Professor McGonagall," Harry panted. "I was late getting out of Potions."

"Have a seat, Mr. Potter."

"Um, I need to run to the forest quickly first. I'll be right back."

She arched an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

Somethings were just too hard to explain. He opened his bag. A pair of golden eyes peeked out of a cherry red face. "Do you mean to tell me that was in your bag all through Potions Class?" She sounded appalled.

"I didn't know he was there until class started."

She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Go take your seat, Mr. Potter."

"But Professor, I need to ..."

"Take. Your. Seat."

"Yes ma'am."

"Why did she growl at us?" the little dragon asked. "I got all the smelly waters right."

"She growled at me, not you, because I was late."

"I like Smelly-Waters-Man."

"Somebody has to."

Harry sat down and the little dragon hopped out of the bag and sat on the bench next to him, disappointed that there were no smelly waters.

"Now then," McGonagall said, "each of you will find a small plant on the desk in front of you."

Neville looked delighted. Hermione looked dismayed. "Professor," her hand went up. "The syllabus didn't say anything about plants."

"What? You didn't manage to read ahead for once?" Ron said.

"Of course  _you_  don't care. You wouldn't have read regardless."

"Might have done," Ron said defensively.

 _"_ _Plants_ ," McGonagall said, cutting Ron off, "rooted in the Earth, tap into a different magical source, which is why you can do things with potions and herbs that you cannot do with a wand."

"Did someone slip Sprout a Polyjuice potion?" Parvati whispered.

"Boy, that'd be weird if the professors weren't who you thought they were," giggled Lavender.

McGonagall cleared her throat and looked severely at the girls before continuing. "And just as they have differing magical properties, they are resistant to much of our magic, but that does not mean they are immune to it. Today, we will work on transfiguration of plants. We will start with something simple; just changing size and shape."

"Size, huh?" Dean said. " _Engorgio_." His plant immediately puffed up with water and fell over.

Ron touched his wand to a leaf and the whole plant turned brown, curled up and died. "This is stupid," he said. "I don't see why we have to fool with this."

" _We_  don't, Ron," Hermione gave him a look that withered him like the now dead twig in front by of him. " _Harry_ does. The _maze will be made of plants_."

"Right," Harry muttered. He redoubled his efforts and managed to move a branch by a finger's width.

Hermione sent a tendril spiraling out and smiled, ever so pleased with herself. She looked around to see if anyone had done better.

Neville's plant was four times its original size, had miniature apples growing on one branch, miniature oranges on another while a third was sprouting cherry blossoms. One of petals shook itself, transfigured into a pink butterfly and took off. The dragon leapt up and chased it. It was the first time in four years Neville got the highest marks in Transfiguration. No one else was even close.

The moment the dragon caught the butterfly, it reverted to a cherry blossom in its mouth. The dragon spit it out immediately and looked puzzled. It sniffed the flower and then craned his head back to get a better look. The cherry blossom fluttered and became a butterfly once again. The dragon pounced. Again, he got a cherry blossom. Suspiciously, he reached out and tapped the flower with a single claw. The Gryffindors all gaped at Neville's unexpected, newfound mastery of transfiguration, but Neville looked as astonished as any of them. Harry whipped his head around to ask the Transfiguration professor how the spell had become self-perpetuating when he saw her wand twitch as the flower took flight again.

Harry packed up after class, making sure to pick up the little dragon this time. The Fireball stuck his head out of the book bag to watch all the human fledglings. "How many eggs do you lay?"

Harry shook his head. "We're not all from the same mother."

Unfortunately, his growling reached unintended ears. "What is  _that_  still doing here?" Snape said softly. "You said you were taking it back to its mother. Two points from Gryffindor for lying."

The dragon hummed happily at seeing Snape again.

 _Clank, clank, clank._  Moody stumped up. "Harassing Potter again, are you?"

"He brought a dangerous creature onto school grounds. Since he cannot seem to follow even a simple set of instructions like  _put it back where you got it,_  I think I shall have to keep it in my office until the end of the school day." He picked up the dragon from Harry's bag.

"More like trying to score free potion ingredients," Moody growled. "I think I'll take him. Lupin left behind several cages capable of holding dark creatures,  _of many different sizes_ ," he leaned menacingly towards Snape.

The dragon swiped his claws and hissed at Moody. Snape, caught off guard, dropped him. Moody reached down to grab him and the dragon spit fire at him. Moody pulled his wand on the dragon. Snape pulled his wand on Moody. The dragon scurried to hide behind Snape's robes.

 _"What is going on here?"_  McGonagall thundered as she stepped out of her classroom.

"Sorry Professor," Harry intervened. "He didn't want to be picked up by someone he didn't know."

The dragon poked his head out from behind Snape's robes and growled at Moody. For a moment, Harry almost thought he saw the corner of Snape's mouth twitch up a bit.

"Oh for Merlin's sake," she roared at the teachers, "you are both grown men and accomplished wizards, yet you are handling yourselves like first years. Mr. Potter, take that dragon back to its mother.  _Now_."

"Yes, Professor." Harry put his book bag on the floor and motioned for the Fireball to hop in. The dragon glared one more time at Moody, rubbed his face possessively against Snape's leg and complied.

"I don't like the stumpy one," he told Harry. "He smells like flies and dead snakes."

.

Harry brought the Fireball back just in time to hear the little green dragons babble excitedly. "Mama, the golden one can make music!"

 _Oh God,_ thought Harry.  _What else had the dragons been getting into?_

Their mother smiled indulgently. "He can hum a few notes but that's not quite the same..."

"No mama!" They all shook their heads. "He makes the most amazing music like we have never heard before." The fact that the little dragons had only hatched two weeks ago did not seem to have occurred to any of them. "He has a box," said one. "And when he sits in front on it, he can make music come out." "I climbed in the box, it was full of metal strings." "It did not sound very good when he sat on them though." "You need to hear it, Mama." "Come, Mama, let us show you."

The baby Fireballs all perked up. "We want to go too, Mama!" "Can we go with the Greens?" "Please Mama?"

The Quetzalcoatl hatchlings warbled, not wanting to be left out.

The mothers considered. "It is the nest of the One-Who-Speaks-Well. I suppose..."

The Green nestlings all bit their mother's claw and began trying to pull her out of the clearing. She rumbled her amusement and allowed them to drag her off. The Fireballs bounded after. The Quetzalcoatl chicks climbed up onto their mother's neck and nestled into her feathers. The three families took off. Harry turned to the Horntail. "Coming?"

"My eggs are hatching."

~oOo~

 

Barely audible through the babble of adoring girls at tea, there was a scratching at the front door, like someone was trying to dig through it. It was as well it was the unflappable Kyoya who opened it, because he was greeted by twelve baby dragons and three looming mothers. "Mori-senpai, it's for you." As he turned to call, the little ones all dashed in and planted themselves on the piano. "I stand corrected. Tamaki, it's for you."

All the girls abruptly became silent.

"Dragons?" Parvati whispered tremulously, using it as an excuse to scoot closer to Hikaru. Lavender started to sidle away from the piano only to discover three full grown mothers peering in the windows since they were too large to fit through the doors.

"You needn't fear, ladies. The gallant men of the Host Club will protect you."

"Yeah right," Haruhi muttered. "Like you can single handedly fight off a dozen dragons."

"He is a master pianist," Kyoya reminded her.

When the blond rose, the little Welsh dragons all chirped the opening of the Mozart piano concerto he'd been playing earlier. "It seems you have a command performance," Kyoya's observed drily.

Tamaki bowed to the dragons, then to the ladies and sat down on the bench. The dragons repeated the opening to remind him what they wanted him to do in case he forgot. He smiled and began playing. It sounded like joy. The Greens hopped up on the bench beside him or on the case rim to watch his hands. The Quetzalcoatl chucks started to hop into the case seeing a safe nest and were fiercely scolded by the Welsh Greens so settled on the plate ribs to watch the hammers, dampers and strings, warbling a little harmony. Seeing the dragons completely entranced by the music, Haruhi started to recant her earlier cynicism only to realize no one was listening. All the girls were similarly absorbed with delighted looks on their faces. And the weird thing was, Tamaki wasn't even weaving magic into the music or if it was there, it was so subtle, Haruhi had a hard time detecting it. As Tamaki began a second piece, or maybe the second movement (Haruhi couldn't tell the difference), she was filling with a quiet longing, but a happy longing, like watching someone you loved. The girls all leaned a little farther forward in the seats. She glanced at Kyoya to share her secret amusement at the girls' reaction to Tamaki, as she so often did, only to find him staring at her, for once his glasses failing to hide his emotions. She quickly looked away to find the twins, then Mori-senpai also watching her. Tamaki's eyes remained fixed on the keyboard as though afraid of where they would go if allowed. Only Honey-senpai was behaving normally, staring at the cakes before him as though unable to decide which he loved more. A sulphur scented sigh made her aware of the three dragon mothers watching their little ones from the windows. While everyone else was utterly entranced, the largest of the Fireball fledglings climbed down, snuck over to the tables and helped himself to the meat pies and finger sandwiches, rudely spitting one out when he accidentally bit into a cucumber sandwich. Haruhi stifled a laugh, which got his attention. He bounced over and chirped at her. "I suppose," she answered, though she had no idea what he had asked. He hopped onto her lap, curled up and began eating from her plate. If it was possible, Mori's eyes softened even more.

.

Hagrid came running with more buckets of chicken blood and brandy and a side of pork. Just in time. The first Horntail hatched, hissed at everything and everyone then launched herself viciously at the pork shoulder, shredding it. It was a quarter gone before the next hatchling broke shell. It glared around malevolently, eyes settling on Harry.

"Tell it I'm not food!" Harry said, alarmed.

Halalfelul pick up her young and dropped it on the pork butt, where it immediately sunk claws and teeth deep into the ham.

"Hagrid," Harry said carefully so not to attract the attention of the ravenous hatchlings, "you better put that down. I don't think they can tell the difference between you and the food."

Hagrid dropped it just as the third egg hatched and its former occupant leapt on the middle portion before it too vanished. Once the meat was gone, one crunched through the bones to get at the marrow while another sniffed, zeroed in on the bucket and made short work of that as well.

"Cute lil' mites," Hagrid beamed at them.

"Cute?" Harry couldn't believe his ears. "Were you watching the same hatching I was?"

"Well o' course they're hungry, Harry. They bin trapped in those eggs an' all." He looked down at the dragons then up at their mother. "Want food more?" He asked in dragon.

The Horntail looked at Harry. "Is he offering to be food?"

"He's offering to  _get more food,_ " Harry said alarmed.

"They  _are_  still hungry," she nodded. Hagrid nodded and jogged off. The newly hatched Horntails crouched low like cats about to pounce on a fleeing mouse. A low rumble from their mother informed them he was not prey. They took off anyway.

"Where are they going?" Harry said, pulling out his wand, all the while knowing Halalfelul would roast him if he so much as stunned one of her offspring.

"They are following him to his hunting ground."

"They can fly? But they just hatched!"

"Horntails do not hatch weak and helpless, like other dragons."

"Oh, um, I better go with them to, uh..."  _warn_  "...tell Hagrid."

.

Under the lean-to next to his hut, Hagrid had a couple dead pheasants and a grouse that he kept handy to feed the thestrals. Harry caught up just in time to hear the delighted warble and see one of the dragonettes dart forward, knock them off the hooks and carry off his trophies. The other two sniffed and scanned the area, fixating on Hagrid's chicken pen. The first leapt into the air, hovered for a moment, tucked his wings and dove. The fat hen barely let out a startled squawk to warn the others before the little Horntail's sister repeated the move. "Magnificent beasts, aren't they?" Hagrid breathed.

"Yes, they will be excellent hunters," their mother said.

Harry just about jumped out of his skin. How had something that big snuck up on him like that?

"Hagrid," Harry said,  _"those were your chickens."_

"Oh," Hagrid thought about it, "right yeh are, Harry. Guess I won' be haven' eggs fer breakfast t'morrow."

~oOo~

"I warned you, Dumbledore," Professor Moody rapped his walking stick on the faculty room floor for emphasis. "There's hardly a class at Hogwarts that hasn't been disrupted."

"Unable to maintain control of your class?" Snape said smoothly.

"No more than you. We all heard what happened in yours."

Snape shrugged indifferently. "Those Potions would have had to have been vanished anyway. Not one of them was suitable for use."

Dumbledore smiled tolerantly. "Alastor, you will be pleased to know that Mr. Weasley has already spoken to his fellow dragon handlers about removing them as soon as their hatchlings are old enough."

"Has he also spoken to them about keeping an eye on the children the maze?" Madame Pomfrey asked.

"I thought we established that would be cheating?" said Madame Hooch.

"Aye, it certainly would be," Moody agreed, "but you can't leave them here that long regardless. In a few days, this place will we crawling with parents, Ministry Officials and reporters from all over the world come to see the Third Task. They find out you're keeping a score of dragons right next to a school full of children, you'll be out on your ear faster than dementors on a birthday party."

"Yer jus' sore 'cause he spit fire at yeh," Hagrid said.

"And what if it'd been a student? What if it'd been the Malfoy boy? You don't think his father would demand the extermination of the entire colony? I'm telling you Dumbledore, those dragons interfere in the Third Task, they even show their noses out of the trees, they'll be trouble for sure."

~oOo~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was ready to move on to the Third Task when I thought, you know what, I'll just throw in a short chapter of some of those scenes that got cut for pacing reasons or a little more twin-twin interactions. And as long as it is, there are still things that didn't make it in. Oh well.
> 
> To all those wonderful folks who commented, kudoed and bookmarked: I'd thank you all by name, but this chapter is long enough. But many thanks, just the same. Your encouragement kept me going through the long, dark, Potions Class of the soul.


	19. Into the Maze

Goblet Chapter 19: Into the Maze

* * *

~oOo~

Rita Skeeter was not the kind of reporter to let a little thing like being banned from a location to get in the way of a good story. Certainly not the biggest story of the year. And if she couldn't get those touchy little Champions to give her an exclusive, well, there were other ways to get it. Nobody would notice a small green beetle, even one with stunning iridescent wing casings, tucked in the corner behind the flowers. She was going to catch every juicy morsel of the Champions' reception, the judges' meeting, even fly over the maze to get the in-depth scoop nobody else could.

~oOo~

It was the last day of exams and most of the hard ones were already done, so there was an excitement and energy in the air.

Five students, of course, had no exams. At least not that kind. Cedric nodded at Harry as he made his way into the Great Hall for breakfast. Fleur gave a half smile to Haruhi. Krum scowled impartially, but it wasn't a hostile look. After a quick spot check to make sure there were no dragons, Harry sat down at the Gryffindor table between the Ouran students and Hermione.

"How are you set up for the Third Task?" Harry asked.

"Pretty well," Haruhi answered. "There were some kids that were mean to me when I first got to Ouran, so my shield charms are decent and Honey-senpai has been working with me since I got picked so now they're almost reflexive. And Mori-senpai has been teaching me all about magical creatures in case I run into any of them. And the twins have taught me almost every jinx they know, which is almost every jinx there is. How about you?"

"I've been working on an Impediment Curse and a Reductor Curse and Hermione showed me this cool Four-Point spell that lets you use your wand as a compass. And of course Stunning Spells. And Transfiguration of Plants." He helped himself to a big plate of scrambled eggs and toast. "Since the Third Task isn't until this evening, we have all day to practice."

"Going to go over the levitation charm again during the History of Magic exam?" Ron said.

"The spells I know, I know really well," said Harry. "I'll probably read through some books to see if there's any last-minute spells I want to try to add."

"Good idea," said Haruhi. "Maybe I'll go to the library and check out a book or two with you."

"Ah, there you two are," McGonagall came up. "The champions are congregating in the chamber off the Hall after breakfast."

"But the task's not till tonight!" Harry said, accidentally spilling scrambled eggs down his front, afraid he had mistaken the time.

"Yes, I'm aware of that," she said. "But the Champions' families are invited to watch the final task, you know. This is simply a chance for you to greet them."

"Oh," said Haruhi, getting up to follow her.

"Oh," said Harry, sitting back down. It's not like the Dursleys would set foot in a wizarding castle, even if they might get to see him die. One by one, the other Champions all headed into the little room off the Great Hall where they had gathered after being chosen. He waited until they had all gone so nobody would notice him slipping off to the library by himself. Just as he was sneaking out, Cedric poked his nose around the door and called out, "C'mon Harry, they're waiting for you!" Completely at a loss, Harry followed him into the room.

Harry quickly scanned the room. He recognized Cedric's father from the Quidditch World Cup and the middle-aged woman standing next to him must have been Cedric's mother. A small, dark woman was fussing affectionately over Krum's hair while a giant of a man beamed proudly at him. Gabrielle Delacour waved enthusiastically at Harry from between two slender, sylph-like adults.

A round, red-headed woman rushed over to him, leaving her tall, eldest son in her wake. "Harry!" Molly Weasley held her arms wide. She hugged him fiercely. Bill, beside her, gave a smile and a sharp nod. "Charlie'll be along any minute. Arthur apologizes. He was planning on coming but it seems some practical joker charmed a bunch of garden statuary out by Little Hangleton and they've been scaring the muggles so badly, half the town won't leave their homes. Honestly! Muggle-baiting in this day and age! He said he'll try to get it all cleaned up and the muggles obliviated in time to make it here by the start of the contest."

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked, surprised but pleased.

"We're here to cheer you on, of course." She gave him a motherly kiss on the cheek. "Are you worried about it? Are you eating well? You look thin. Doesn't he look thin, Bill?"

"He looks like Harry, mum." He turned to face the subject of their conversation. "How've you been? Charlie said you were amazing against the Horntail, and he's not easily impressed when it comes to flying. He was the Gryffindor seeker before you, you know."

Harry nodded. "I heard that."

"Fred and George said they thought Oliver Wood was going to cry when he graduated." Bill said, referring to the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain during Harry's first three years.

"But then Wood found Harry," Charlie said, coming up, "who's even better than I was, and never gave me a second thought. How ya doing, Harry."

Harry looked back and forth between the two brothers. They could scarcely be more different; Bill, tall, lean, long hair slicked back into a tight ponytail, with a fang earring completing the rock-star look versus Charlie, short, stocky, well-muscled like an athlete, rakishly unkempt hair and a couple of curious scars pointing to his life as a naturalist. Apart from the red hair, they didn't look much alike and yet there was an undefinable quality that marked them as brothers. Harry wasn't the only one who noticed.

Fleur came over, holding her little sister's hand tightly. " 'Allo, 'Arry. My seester Gabrielle, she inseest on zanking you again for saving her in ze lake." She said it to Harry, but her eyes were on Bill. Ponytail, fanged earring and all.

The little girl was actually smiling at him shyly. "You're quite welcome, Gabri...oof." A large black dog knocked him clean over and stood on him, wagging his tail.

"Kuro! No! Down!" Although the dog was already down. And so was Harry.

Haruhi's dad and Misuzu came running over. "I'm so sorry," Misuzu said. "He's usually such a well-behaved dog. I don't know what's gotten into him today. As soon as we said we were off to the castle for the Champions' Family reception, he was out the door and up the road."

"And the lock on the door just wouldn't stay locked," Ranka added.

Harry glared at Sirius for taking the risk, but he just wagged his tail back.

"It's ok," said Harry, pushing the large black dog off him. "I don't mind. In fact, I'm really glad you brought him." He ruffled the dog's ears affectionately before getting back up.

"Hi, Harry," Haruhi said, joining them. "We'll take him outside if you want us to."

"No, we're good."

"And hey, Fleur. Glad that Tamaki-senpai's lessons have paid off."

"I do not know what you are meaning, I am sure." She glanced towards Bill then gave Haruhi a  _shut-up_ look.

But Haruhi missed it. "You know, to control your veela charm. I mean if anyone can teach you, he can. I've never met his mother, but he's got to be at least part siren. Although his dad's pretty charming too. Maybe it comes from his dad. Anyway, we'll stop bothering you. I promised my dad I'd show him the grounds. Last time he was here, he hardly saw anything besides the lake."

Fleur didn't know what to say about Haruhi's casual revelation, so she turned on her sister. "What are you doing, Gabrielle?"

"I was looking at zis beetle. It started buzzing like crazy when Haruhi was talking." She picked it up to show them. "Look at ze amazing green color!"

"It ees a filthy bug and nothink more!" She snatched the beetle from her sister's hand and threw it out the window, then grabbed her sister and dragged her back to her parents, embarrassed.

Bill watched her go. "Part veela, huh?"

"Yeah," said Harry.

Bill grinned. "Pure blood is overrated anyway."

.

"So," said Harry, "do you want to tour the castle and the grounds, you know, for old times' sake?" He was really touched that the Weasleys had come to visit.

Charlie smiled, "And when you're done with your tour, your other mothers wanted to wish you luck. They won't come in the castle, for obvious reasons."

"You mean that horrible Dursley woman showed up? Sorry, Harry dear. I didn't mean to be critical."

"No, it's alright. Horrible is a fair description of her."

"If she came to see you, maybe it's not."

"Not  _that_  mother. The other mothers. The  _five_  other mothers."

"Oh... oh!" Harry said, realizing.

"What other mothers?" Molly demanded.

Harry and Charley exchanged a look. "Dragons, mum," Charlie said. "The dragons want to see him."

His mother was appalled. "Charles Weasley! Just because you decided to get burned and mauled for a living does not mean you should drag a fourteen-year-old into it!"

"Why do I keep getting the blame for this? Absolutely none of it - from the First Task to now - has been my idea."

"They're not that dangerous...well, ok, yeah they are," Harry said. "But if you're on the short list of people they like, they're actually kind of... protective?"

They went up to the Gryffindor Common Room where they could all reminisce, but immediately after, Harry led them outside on the off chance they might bump into Snape, who might recognize the large black dog following Harry's heels. As they passed a bush filled with songbirds tweeting  _The Magic Flute,_  Harry got a peculiar tightness just above his stomach and a warmth spreading upwards. Mrs. Weasley, her sons, Sirius trotting along beside them. It felt like family. This moment made it almost worth being named a Champion.

"Hi Harry!" The mermaids called out to him, waving.

"Hi!" He waved back.

"Girlfriends?" Mrs. Weasley teased. "Wait, are those...?"

"Yeah, they're mermaids," Harry said. "I'll introduce you."

They walked down to the lake where Haruhi had conjured another tea table. Ranka, Misuzu, an older mermaid and three younger ones were enjoying a midmorning brunch. As auburn haired Ranka exclaimed over the Weasley's stunning red locks, it was clear they were going to become fast friends. About the time the conversation turned to the pitfalls of parenting, Harry decided to slip away to greet the dragons. "Do you ever stop worrying about them?" he heard Ranka ask.

"Never," said Mrs. Weasley. "My third son Percy has a nice safe job at the Ministry. If I had one child I didn't have to worry about, it should be him," she glared at her sons, the dragon handler and the curse breaker, "but his boss has been out and he's been having to do both his boss's work and his own..."

Sirius bounded after him but Haruhi ran over and grabbed his collar. "Go!" She pointed back at the brunch table. "The dragons promised not to eat people. That probably doesn't extend to dogs."

Sirius gave Harry a longing look. "Go on, she's right." He heard a faint excited buzzing noise when he referred to Haruhi as a "she." Weird.

The two Champions made their way to the dragons' clearing. Hagrid had supplied them with lots of food and toys so they would have no reason to leave the forest that day. Some items were both, Harry reflected as he watched the young dragons including the newly hatched Short Snouts all scrambling after a pile of Cornish pixies. He would have felt bad for the little creatures except he remembered what a nightmare they had been when Lockhart had let them loose in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom second year. The hatchlings pounced and leapt and growled and began playing tug-of-war with the pixies. Then again, maybe it was the dragons he should have sympathy for. The pixies jibbered and poked and pinched. One grabbed onto the back of a Welsh Green's neck and she couldn't shake it off until she rolled on her back to squish it, but that left her belly exposed and another one came and jumped on it. Two of the electric blue pixies picked up one of the red Fireballs by his tail. Hanging upside down, he snapped ineffectively back at them. Haruhi pulled out her wand and froze the pixies, peeling them off the baby. "Are you all right?" she said, petting him. Apparently he didn't want sympathy; he immediately launched himself back into the fray. Judging by the way the Horntails were gnawing on the blue pixies like rubber chew toys, they were tough little buggers. This could go on for hours. Harry shook his head. "Greetingssss," he said to the dragons.

"Greetings," the mothers said. There was a squawk and a short burst of flame from the dragon-pixie compote.

"The Red-One-Who-Gets-Brain-Sick says you are going hunting tonight."

"Yeah," said Harry, nodding at Haruhi. "The female and I will be hunting tonight."

The mothers sat up. "You are hunting with the female?" said Kasaiana.

"Why are you hunting with the female?" The Quetzalcoatl's feathers started to go flat.

"No, no! It's not like that!" Harry insisted loudly. "We're not hunting together, we will be after the same prey, to see who can get it first."

The Quetzalcoatl came over and laid down behind Haruhi, glared at Harry, then pointedly flicked the end of her tail between the two of them, just for emphasis. "And where is the One-Who-Speaks-Well now?"

Harry gulped as he turned tuned to Haruhi. "They want to know where Mori is."

"He's helping Hagrid load the maze this morning."

"Wait, what do you mean he's loading the maze?"

"They've been at it for a while," she said. "A couple weeks ago they started putting in the dangerous plants so they'd have time to root, then last week they put in the sedentary creatures and the ones too stupid to find their way out, then a few days ago they put in the active, dangerous ones, and this morning, they're loading in the flight risks - you know, highly mobile and magically powerful enough to escape the protective wards."

"So... you know what's in the maze?"

"Of course not. That would be cheating. Morinozukas do not cheat." She thought about it. "Although he  _has_  spent a lot of time teaching me about the weaknesses and blind spots of magical creatures and how to say 'I'm not a threat' to fourteen different class XXXX and above creatures."

Harry considered. "McGonagall's been teaching us to transfigure plants and we had a lesson on Devil's Snare in Herbology. Which I guess is the same."

"And Fleur knows something, she was using it to try to get sympathy from Kyoya. Somebody should have told her you don't get sympathy from Kyoya."

"I hope someone gave hints to Cedric and Krum." He turned back to the dragons. "The One-Who-Speaks-Well is busy checking the thicket where the hunt will be."

"You mean that big twisty bush?"

"You know about the maze?"

The Horntail nodded. "Yes, we have been flying over it since we got back. The big white bull was very tasty." She picked a piece of meat from between her teeth.

"You mean you've been eating the things they put in the maze?"

"Yes, it is a good hunting ground," said the Green.

Harry blinked. Twice.

"What'd they say?" asked Haruhi.

"I'm not sure," said Harry. "I think they ate the Minotaur."

"Oh well, that's good," said Haruhi, "Because, you know, putting a Minotaur into a labyrinth would just be cliché."

"There have been many yummy things in there," the Short Snout nodded. "It was nice of the furry one to bring in extra prey since we have so many nestlings to feed." The dragon leaned in conspiratorially. "Because of the tall plants, the prey can only run in certain directions. This makes it very easy to catch. You should eat well while you are in there."

Harry looked over at the pixies, wondering now if Hagrid had brought them or the mothers had found them one their own.

"But be careful," the Horntail grumbled. "Not everything is edible. Those screwt things taste just as nasty as they smell."

"You ate one?"

"It attacked me, so I killed it. But it tasted bad so I did not eat it . One of the others came and ate the rest."

"So screwts are in the maze. Got it." Ron had been right. It also established there was something very, very wrong with screwt brains. No creature in its right mind attacked a Hungarian Horntail.

The Quetzalcoatl sized up Haruhi. "They are pretty small compared to the prey in the maze," she observed.

"How big is the prey you are hunting?" the Horntail asked.

"It's, um..." Harry gestured indicating the approximate size of the goblet.

"Small and stealthy then," reasoned the Horntail.

The first-hatched Fireball took a break from the pixies. "Does it run faster than rabbits?"

"No," Harry said. "It will be hiding, not running."

"That is good," the little one nodded sagely. "Rabbits are hard to catch."

"Your noses are very short," the Fireball peered at them. "Will you be able to locate it?"

"Short noses are not a hunting problem!" the blue dragon said testily.

"But the humans  _are_  very small," said the Quetzalcoatl. "Small enough that they might become prey."

"You think they will get eaten?" said the Short Snout.

"They might get eaten," nodded the Quetzalcoatl.

"They will definitely get eaten," said the Short Snout, now convinced.

"You know we might be ok. We're not totally helpless."

The dragons stared at him for a minute, considering.

"I will miss you," said the Fireball.

"Thanks," said Harry.

"Hold still a second, Harry," Haruhi said. "You picked up one of those beetles Fleur's sister was looking at." She held it for a second, admiring its brilliant green coloring. "They really are kind of pretty," she said before tossing it into the maelstrom of baby dragons and pixies. All the little ones stopped for a second and then simultaneously jumped on the green bug.

The mothers gazed fondly at the humans. "Tell the female to try not to get eaten. It would make the One-Who-Speaks-Well sad."

Harry translated.

"Aw, that's sweet," she said, petting the Quetzalcoatl.

"And you," the Horntail wrapped her tail around Harry and put her nose on top of his head. "Be fierce."

~oOo~

Harry and Haruhi returned to find a much larger crowd at the lake than they had left. Morning classes had let out and the Host Club was gathered around Ranka. "You will take care of her, won't you?" he asked worriedly.

"We will always take care of her," Kyoya promised.

Half the girls from Hogwarts and Beauxbatons and even Durmstrang had followed the Host Club out into the lovely summer day and there were now multiple tea tables dotting the lawn. Fleur and her family had come over after touring the Beauxbatons carriage. After a quick glance at Kyoya, she turned her eyes to Bill Weasley, who smiled back. Gabrielle was giggling, sharing a strawberry cake with Honey and Usa-chan, mistakenly believing they were her age.

Ginny looked over from Tamaki's table. "What are you doing here, Mum?"

"We came to watch Harry, of course."

Fred, George and Ron, having escaped their exams, were investigating the tea trolley. "I reckon we could do something with these custard tarts, don't you Fred?"

"The creamy texture would certainly hide a short-lived transfiguration potion," agreed Fred.

"What?" said their mother.

"Nothing," they answered back with innocent eyes.

Tamaki was giving lessons on how to charm ladies to a surly looking Krum, much to the vast entertainment of Angelina, Alicia, and Katie, because it meant they sat next to the stunning blond boy while the world's most famous Quidditch player tried to awkwardly flirt with them.

The large black dog was paddling around in the lake, chasing the ball thrown by the mermaids.

Cho had dragged Cedric over and the two were throwing bread crumbs to the giant swan. Cedric's father Amos puffed up with pride as Misuzu exclaimed how refreshing that tall handsome boy was.

A somewhat haggard looking green beetle flew unsteadily over and landed on Cho's shoulder. Cedric picked it off. "I think this is another one like Fleur found. They seem to be everywhere today." He tossed it into the lake. The giant swan zoomed over and scooped it up, chewed on it then spit it out and went back to looking for more bread crumbs.

Harry and Haruhi paused on the outskirts to take in the golden moment. "I wish we could just capture this and keep it forever," Haruhi said.

"How right you are." Kyoya appeared from nowhere holding a book. He turned to the nearby watching girls. "Which is why I have created this limited-edition photo album featuring all the year's most memorable moments: the arrivals, the first tea, the Yule Ball, plus a few empty pages at the end that will fill themselves in with pictures of this afternoon and other events to cap the year, all available for a quite reasonable price."

Haruhi's eye started twitching. Harry wondered if  _that_  picture was going to be in there. It'd be worth buying the book if it was.

"Can I get one Mum? Please? For an early birthday present?" Ginny pleaded.

Looking at her hopeful face, Harry thought maybe he'd buy two.

~oOo~

The afternoon flew by; it wasn't until the mountain shadows were turning the lake purple that anyone noticed the time. McGonagall appeared looking half worried for the students and half relieved that it would soon be over. "It's time," she said.

The Durmstrang students all clasped Krum's shoulder then headed off to the Quidditch pitch. The Beauxbatons students hugged Fleur and kissed both cheeks before doing the same. The Hogwarts students split between Harry and Cedric, most going to Cedric, but it was  _who_  stayed with Harry that mattered. The Gryffindors gave him thumbs up. Cho hugged Cedric but gave Harry an encouraging smile. The Weasleys all gathered 'round Harry. "You got this," Ron said.

Molly pulled him into the warmest embrace he could remember.

"The dragons will be very disappointed if you get eaten," Charley said.

Harry couldn't help it. He laughed.

Hermione slipped a small mirror into his hand. "What is this?" Harry asked.

"It's the mirror that creepy Ouran girl gave me."

"Hermione," Harry whispered, "I can't take this. It'd be cheating."

"McGonagall said the Champions aren't supposed to attack each other so it's only cheating if they cheat first. Besides, the girl made it for me. We don't even know if it will work for you."

Harry slipped it in his pocket. It still felt like cheating.

.

Chairman Suoh came over. "Fujioka-san, I have been called to the judges' panel. It seems Mr. Crouch will not be here for the event, so they are most anxious that the rest of us should be there promptly, but I wanted to wish you well and to say all of Ouran will be watching. I know you will make us proud." He departed as quickly as he had appeared, leaving Haruhi with her classmates. The Ouran Host Club stayed with Haruhi all the way to the stadium.

"Mori-senpai," Tamaki said. "Why did you bring your book bag to the competition?"

"And why is your book bag moving?" added Kyoya.

He opened up the bag to reveal the bright golden eyes and crimson snout of the first-hatched Fireball.

"Takeshi..." Honey-senpai chided.

"It was a compromise. He wanted to go into the maze to help Harry hunt, but then his mother said she would have to go with him to make sure he did not get eaten. Then the Quetzalcoatl said she would follow Haruhi to make sure she did not get eaten. So I said he could watch the hunt with me. It was either that or have three dragons roaming the maze."

"And why is that a problem?" said Hikaru.

"Yeah, the rules say you can't take in magical charms, it doesn't say anything about bringing in a dragon," Kaoru said.

Honey considered carefully. "I'm pretty sure that would still be considered cheating."

"All I'm saying is that if they don't put it in the rules, they shouldn't complain," said Hikaru.

"Which reminds me, before you join the Champions, I have something for you," Kyoya said holding out a locket.

"What part of this conversation were you not listening to? I can't take magical charms in with me," Haruhi reminded him.

"It's a gift from your father, Haruhi. How magical can it be?" Seeing her disbelief, he added, "I swear as an Ootori, there is no luck charm or magical booster that could possibly be considered cheating."

"Well, if it's from my father..." She grudgingly slipped it around her neck. "All right then," she turned to the maze, but Mori's hand locked onto her arm and wouldn't let go. Surprised, she looked up at him, but he wasn't looking at her. He was staring somewhere in the distance, or perhaps  _somewhen_  in the distance. In a deep voice that sounded like it came from an echo chamber he said, "You must not enter the maze. Whoever wins will lose."

The others all stared at him, aghast. "Mori-senpai?"

He blinked as though aware something had happened, but not what.

Honey spoke gently. "What did you mean, Takashi?"

"What did I say?"

"That whoever wins will lose," said Tamaki.

Mori thought for a moment then shook his head. "That's all. There is nothing more."

They all looked at Haruhi. "Don't go into the maze," Tamaki said. "It's not worth it."

"I have to go in, I'm bound by a magical contract," Haruhi said.

"But you are allowed to punch out," Hikaru said. "Just go in and immediately send up a shower of sparks."

"You heard the Chairman. All Ouran will be watching. I'll lose my scholarship."

"I'll talk to my dad," Tamaki said. "It'll be ok."

" _I don't want your charity, senpai._ I got this scholarship because I was better than everybody else. And I'll keep it for the same reason."

They all voiced their objections at once and she had to shout to be heard. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, guys!" She flounced off to where the champions had gathered. They watched her go with gravest misgivings.

"What is really in that necklace?" Tamaki asked.

"It is a locator spell," Kyoya answered. "It will take me to wherever she is if she is in trouble."

"How many can you transport?" Honey asked.

"Just one. Ranka asked me to keep her safe. There wasn't time to make the locket more powerful."

.

The Champions all gathered just outside the Quidditch stadium. The spectator stands had been lowered so they were just high enough to see over the hedges, allowing the school to watch the champions' progress. Large crystal balls the size of bookcases hovered in front, each swirling with a purplish mist that periodically formed into the crest of one of the schools. They would provide detailed images of the action. What had once been an open grassy lawn was now covered by a hedge maze as tall as Hagrid's cottage. A full-grown dragon could hide in there. A slight breeze blew across the entrance causing the leaves to rustle in a forbidding manner, while an eerie miasma drifted between the pathways.

"There you are, Mr. Fujioka," McGonagall said. "Now then, Professor Moody placed the Goblet of Fire into the maze this afternoon. You will each enter the maze separately, in order of your scores coming into this task. There are dangers of many kinds. You must avoid, escape and outwit them. If, at any point, you need to be rescued, send up a shower of red sparks and someone will come and extract you. For your safety and that of the spectators, Hagrid, Professor Flitwick, Professor Moody and myself will patrol the perimeter, keeping the dangers inside and watching for your signals. The first person to reach the Goblet and touch it is the winner of the tournament."

"The one who wins will lose," said Haruhi.

"I beg your pardon?" McGonagall said.

"My friend Takashi Morinozuka is a seer. He warned us to be careful."

"You're just trying to freak us out," said Cedric.

"I'm not."

"Zen you are free to not enter," said Fleur, haughtily.

"Magical contract, remember?" said Harry. "You don't have to succeed, but you at least have to try."

Ludo Bagman walked up, a bounce in his step, a coach's whistle hanging from a striped cord around his neck, smiling broadly in excitement. "Great! Everyone's here. The judges are in the booth, watching everything. You four," he gestured to McGonagall and the Hogwarts staff, "off to your posts. Let's get this thing started! You ready to win, Harry?"

"Um, I guess so."

Bagman beamed at him before walking over to a raised platform.

Harry leaned towards the others. "It is weird the way he keeps singling me out?"

"Yes," they all said.

Bagman pointed his wand to his throat. " _Sonorus_." When he spoke next, his voice filled the stadium. "Ladies and gentlemen, the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament is about to begin! Let me remind you of the current placings. Tied in first place, Mr. Cedric Diggory and Mr. Harry Potter both of Hogwarts school!" A great roar of approval went up from the crowd, answered by a roar from the forest that sounded suspiciously like five dragons. Haruhi shared an amused smile with Harry. "In second place, trailing very closely behind them, Mr. Viktor Krum of the Durmstrang Institue." Another round of applause, especially from the Quidditch fans. "In fourth place, Mr. Haruhi Fujioka of Ouran Academy, followed by Miss Fleur Delacour of Beauxbatons Academy. They will enter the maze according to their scores at the start of this task, but anyone can still win! Mr. Diggory, Mr. Potter, on my whistle." A blast from the whistle and Harry and Cedric sprinted into the maze. They ran straight for about fifty yards until they came to a T. They nodded at each other and Cedric went right while Harry went left. Another thirty seconds later, the whistle sounded again. "Good luck," Haruhi said. Krum looked at her strangely, but as it seemed to be sincere, he nodded his thanks and ran in.

Haruhi settled back to wait. If the time lag between entries was based on points, it was going to be a while. She had scored practically nothing on the first task and Fleur had done the same on the second. "By the way," she said to Fleur, "Harry said that Ron said that Bill Weasley really likes you."

"What?" Fleur shook her head. This was not the conversation she was expecting.

"I thought you might like to know. You know, since Tamaki taught you to control your veela charm, it's probably the first time you know that a guy actually likes  _you_  and not because of your magic. And you really are a decent sort of person when you're not being snooty. Anyway, I thought you might like to know that. Well, there's my whistle. Good luck."

Fleur stared at the Japanese kid's back, trying to figure out if she was offended or not.

~oOo~

The Hosts entered the stands just when the safety wizards were reaching their posts. As they walked past the box that had been reserved for faculty, the little red dragon leapt out of Mori's bag and scrambled among the feet of the staff until he found his friend then hopped up on Snape's lap. He sat up, put a paw on Snape's chest and carried on a one-sided conversation, then proceeded to scan the area, made a respectful bow of his head to Madame Pomfrey, gave a satisfied chirp and turned around, sitting down in Snape's lap. The teachers all froze seeing a dragon, even a small one, pop up in their midst. Mori hurried over and gave a low bow. "A thousand pardons, sensei. He likes you and was worried the bad smelling man might have hurt you. He is pleased you scared him off."

"Bad smelling man?" Snape wondered if this was another student making fun at his expense.

"He describes the man as smelling of flies and dead snakes."

Snape froze. "Lacewing flies and boomslang skin?"

Mori made inquisitive growling noises to the dragon, who gave a little growl back.

"He doesn't know what those things are, sensei."

Snape wrapped his arms around the red dragon and stood up, his black robes swirling. The dragon gave a startled squawk. "Come with me."

"But sensei, the challenge is about to start."

"And it could end very badly if you don't come now."

~oOo~

Haruhi walked into the maze. There was no point in running; she wasn't terribly athletic so if this was a footrace, she'd already lost even without the five-minute head start Harry and Cedric had. The boys had all run to the T and turned, so Haruhi picked a side path earlier on to try. She went for perhaps fifty yards before the whistle sounded again. All five champions were now in the maze. She turned a corner and found a fetid, yellow-green ooze covering the path. She paused to watch it, but it didn't move. After a minute's consideration, she conjured an apple and tossed it over the puddle, which immediately heaved upward, swallowing the fruit in sticky mucus. "Ok, that's just gross."

Fleur came up behind her. "What ees zis?"

"I think it's a giant snot monster."

"Zat ees gross."

"See, that's what I said."

They watched it heave for a moment. Krum came running up behind them, then stopped and curled his lip. He considered just leaving but remembered the help Haruhi had given him in the first task. "Ugh. Baltic oozing amber. It encases anything it touches. In 1790, a large von swallowed an entire Russian Quidditch team; it took two days to dig them out. It vould be smarter to go around." Then he turned back the way they came. After another minute, Fleur did the same.

Haruhi considered. Kyoya would say you didn't guard something that wasn't valuable, so this was probably a good path. Probably. She conjured five apples and sent them floating up in a line along the left side of the path. They started to drop and as the thing heaved up on the left to capture them, she ran past on the right.

~oOo~

Snape blew open the doors of the dungeons and stalked into his supply closet. He dropped the dragon unceremoniously onto the table and pulled two bottles from the shelves. "These should be three quarters full. Instead, they are three quarters empty. Is this what he smelled?"

Mori translated. The hatchling sniffed and warbled back. "Yes, sensei."

Snape pulled out a dozen more bottles. "Which of these does the bad man smell like?" Snape slid the lacewing flies and boomslang skin to the left. "Tell him to put the 'yeses' here and the 'nos' there."

The dragon looked delighted at the new game. Left went the bicorn horn, right went the dragonflies and hippogriff feathers. Left went the leeches, right went the lampreys; left went the knotgrass, right went the gillyweed; left went the fluxweed harvested at full moon, right went the fluxweed harvested at new moon. Snape stared. All the ingredients of a perfect polyjuice potion. The little dragon rocked back on his haunches pleased. "He says there is still something missing though."

"A bit of hair, I suspect." Snape murmured. Abruptly, he snatched up the baby dragon and stalked out of the dungeon.

"But I got it right!" the dragon protested.

~oOo~

"You have got to be kidding!" Harry heard Haruhi yell through the hedges on his left. "The walls move and this place is unmappable?"

 _Should have expected that,_ Harry thought as he dashed around a corner and froze. Twelve feet tall, face hidden by a black hood, a dementor slowly glided towards him, robbing Harry of warmth and breath. " _Expecto Patronum!"_

A silver stag leapt from his wand and charged the startled dementor, which stumbled back.  _Hang on. Startled? A dementor? Into being clumsy? No. No way._  "Boggart!" Harry muttered to himself.  _"Riddikulus!"_

The boggart turned in a silver mist and vanished between the branches. Harry was relived and started to move on when the sky got noticeably darker, which was a neat trick, because it was twilight anyway. Thick clouds blotted out what little light was left in the sky, bumped into one another and rumbled ominously. Harry wondered who'd set off a weather spell when he saw a flash of light and heard Haruhi cry out.

He remembered her reaction when the Fireball had raised a hurricane during the first task. Haruhi was frightened of storms. And he had sent a boggart right at her. "Bloody hell." He knew he was going to hate himself for this. It was probably his best trick and he had a feeling it would only work once. He pointed his wand at the hedge wall and transfigured it into an arched passage.

Haruhi was pinned in a cul-de-sac, bolts of lightning trapping her on either side while black clouds and driving rain advanced on her. "It's a boggart, Haruhi! It's not real!" Harry shouted at the top of his lungs, but she couldn't hear over the storm.

 _Bugger it all_ , Harry thought. " _Riddikulus_!" The dark clouds became pink cotton candy pelting down lemon drops.

Haruhi blinked. "What the...?"

"It's a boggart," Harry said. "A shapeshifter that feeds on fear."

Haruhi looked again at the growing pile of bright yellow sweets. "Oh," she said and started to laugh, partly at her own stupidity and partly at the silly looking creature. It retreated as if stung and zipped through the bushes in search of other prey.

"Thanks," Haruhi said shakily. "I owe you one. I'd totally forgot yours do that. Ours feed on love."

"That's all right," Harry shrugged. "Pay me back when you can."

~oOo~

Fleur stopped dead in her tracks. "Gabrielle?"

The little blond girl rushed over to Fleur. "Thank Circe you are here! Don't leave me!"

"Non, non, of course not. But what are you doing here?"

"I only wanted to see what you were up against. I just wanted to look around, zen I got lost and couldn't find ze way out."

"Come, I will lead you out."

"We must not move - ze monsters, zey cannot find zis spot. Eeet is safe. We must stay here." She hugged Fleur tightly.

"I will send up ze rescue signal, zey will come and get you."

"Non!" she pleaded. "If you send up ze signal, you will lose. Just stay here. We will be safe here, together..."

Fleur smiled. "Silly little duckling," she murmured as she hugged her sister back and settled on the ground.

~oOo~

Snape approached the judges' booth. "Headmaster, I must speak with you."

"I am rather in the middle of something Severus, can it wait?"

"No, Headmaster, it cannot."

Dumbledore nodded to the other judges, "Do let me know if I need to come back" and stepped just out of the booth, but not out of earshot in case they called him. "What is happening?" He tried not to let the twinkle in his eyes show too much at the sight of his dour potions master, black robes, straight black hair with a bright red dragon wriggling out of his arms to drape himself across the man's shoulders. The hatchling warbled at the tall Japanese student coming up behind them.

"The man that you call Alastor Moody is an imposter, and likely has been all year."

Karkaroff, the former Death Eater, turned around to listen in at the news the famous auror was not.

"Are you certain?" Dumbledore said.

"Quite certain. For months now, ingredients have gone missing from my restricted cupboard. Ingredients used in a polyjuice potion. I had assumed it was Potter and his cronies..."

"You always assume it's Harry."

"Because it usually is. But this time I may have been mistaken. The dragon has correctly identified all the components of a polyjuice potion said that Moody reeks of it."

"Impossible!" Maxime said, turning around. "Ze polyjuice potion creates a perfect facsimile."

"But just as I can tell when you have been eating garlic snails, the dragon can smell the polyjuice potion on his breath."

"And you believe this monster?" Ludo Bagman joined in, gesturing disdainfully at the dragon.

" _I_  do," said Chairman Suoh. "You Europeans may have always fostered antagonistic relations with your dragons, but we in Asia have not. Our dragons  _can_  be terribly destructive, but they have also been known to protect people and entire villages." He turned to Mori. "Is what this man says true?"

"Yes sir."

"Then I suggest we remove the imposter before he can unleash whatever mischief he intends."

~oOo~

Cedric usually liked Hagrid, but right now, he really, really didn't. That damned skrewt was six feet tall at the shoulder and ten at the surprisingly quick and agile stinger that loomed scorpion-like over its back. He dodged the tail only to roll right into a fiery blast. At least it wasn't as hot as the Short Snout's fire had been. " _Incendio_!" He shot back. The stream of flame bounced harmlessly off the skrewt's armored plating. The screwt blasted him again but a flame freezing charm took the brunt of it. Cedric aimed at the legs, hoping the thinner exoskeleton there would be less magic resistant than the thicker back. " _Spongify_!" The screwt's legs wobbled then collapsed under its weight and Cedric ran past.

Left, then right, then right again. He met Krum at an intersection, doubled over and bleeding from parallel gashes on his chest. "Krum?"

"Evidently, the letter 'E' vas not the answer to this sphinx's riddle." The Bulgarian straightened up moved on.

Cedric turned another corner and found Fleur holding a little blonde girl. He blinked and realized it must have been a trick of the light. When the little girl turned her head, her hair was dark as night and she looked at him out of perfect almond eyes. "Cho?"

"Oh thank Merlin you're here! She seems to be under a sleep spell; she won't wake up and we can't leave her. There are too many dangerous things."

"No, of course not."

"Stay with us. You're the smartest, best wizard I know. Please protect me."

"We'll send up the sparks and they'll come and get both of you."

"No!" Cho reached out for him. "No, the sparks will attract that monster."

"The screwt?"

She nodded.

"It's ok," he assured her. "It's out of commission, for a while anyway."

"You're so clever." She wrapped her arms around him and leaned against his chest.

Cedric shook his head. Cho was still holding on to Fleur even though she was embracing him. For a moment, it looked like she had more than two arms. Then he became lost in her loving eyes. "Don't leave me." She whispered.

"No, I won't leave you," he said softly, burying his face in her sweet-smelling hair. It felt so warm and peaceful, he could almost pretend this horrible tournament wasn't happening.

~oOo~

The little red dragon leapt from Snape's shoulder onto Mori then crawled into the bag. If they were done with the Find the Right Smell games, could they go watch the hunt?

The Host Club filled them in on everything they missed replaying the most exciting bits on the omnoculars. Even on replay, every one of the guys had his fists clenched when the boggart became a thunderstorm.

They watched Harry rescue Haruhi - the two underage Champions who should never have been - nodding to each other as they went their separate ways, neither noticing as a pile of rejection notices settled on a small green beetle.

.

"Why did she not call a wind and blow the storm away?" the Fireball asked.

"She was frightened and could not do it."

"Mama could do it."

"Your mother is a very powerful dragon."

The Fireball nodded sagely. "You need dragons." He looked like he was about to act on his plan when something very large with a wicked sharp beak and lethal talons glided through the foliage and loomed over Haruhi. The hatchling shrunk back, pressing himself against Mori for safety.

~oOo~

Haruhi backed slowly away from the cockatrice, softly whistling the ' _not a threat'_  tune that Mori-senpai had made her learn then turned a corner to find the incongruous sight of her father holding onto Fleur and Cedric. "Thank goodness you're here. You have to stay and help me protect these two."

"Oh for heavens sake's. My father's a Muggle. He can only be on these grounds because of that locket Kyoya gave him. There's no way my father could possibly have gotten past the magical wards and into this maze."

It woke Cedric up, knowing it might be in trouble.

Haruhi threw a stinging jinx at the creature, but Cedric deflected it. "Why are you attacking Cho?"

"That's not Cho!"

"Of course it is. You've had classes with her. We talked at the Yule Ball. You know her. She's a friend."

Haruhi advanced, pointing her wand. The thing woke up Fleur as well. "Help me," it pleaded.

Fleur looked around, confused. "Why are you trying to hurt my sister?"

"Since when is Cho Chang your sister?"

Cedric and Fleur both looked at the girl at the same time. Its hair flipped between blonde and black. Haruhi took advantage of everyone's confusion. " _Anmasuku_!" Light flared from Haruhi's wand and for a moment, the thing didn't even look human. Multi-limbed, grey suckers clinging to the Champions, a mouth four time the size of a human's. Then it shimmered and turned back into Gabrielle. "You ruined everything! They were happy with their loved ones. I would have kept them happy the rest of their lives."

"Which would have been three days until they died of dehydration."

"They wouldn't have felt it though. I would have made them happy."

"While you fed on love meant for someone else."

It turned back to the French girl. "Fleur..."

Fleur recoiled in horror. Cedric raised his wand. Gabrielle fled into the maze.

~oOo~

Ludo Bagman's career had been somewhat lackluster since leaving professional Quidditch, so he was a bit puffed up to find himself in the company of the most powerful wizards of the age marching off on an important mission.

"Alastor," Dumbledore said as they approached, "would you come with us?"

"What's going on?" Moody said suspiciously.

"We may have uncovered a saboteur to the tournament and would like your professional opinion as an auror," Dumbledore said mildly.

"Specifically, are you the real Alastor Moody or are you a fake taking polyjuice potion?" demanded Bagman.

The four headmasters all winced at the sportsman's stupidity. The fake auror turned to run, but Moody's crippled body couldn't move faster than Karkaroff's wand. But before the body-bind took effect, Moody slammed his walking stick hard into the earth, releasing a wave of raw magical energy that sped through the ground and into the maze.

~oOo~

Viktor Krum felt something racing through the ground. He looked around, expecting to see some burrowing monster emerge from the soil, but when the Magic passed underfoot, his mind went blank.

~oOo~

Fleur Delacour was still trying to clear her head. How long had she sat there comforting her sister? She had no idea. While she stood there, a tendril of vine wrapped around her foot. " _Incendio_!" As she shot it away a wave of magic energy rolled through the ground. What horrible trap had she triggered now? She spun to face a crashing noise, then let out a relieved breath. "Zank goodness eet ees you Viktor. I thought eet was anozer monster. Viktor? What are you doing Viktor?"

He looked at her out of milky white eyes and raised his wand.

~oOo~

Through the hedge wall, Harry heard Fleur let out an agonized scream. He turned and ran towards the sound. He bumped into Cedric along the way. "Was that Fleur?"

"Yeah, I think so," answered Harry. They moved on together, pausing when they heard a rushing noise. Viktor Krum marched towards them purposefully. Harry and Cedric lowered their wands. "Do you know where the scream came from?" asked Cedric.

Krum stared uncomprehendingly at them, first at Harry, then at Cedric. He raised his wand.

"What are you doing?" Cedric started to say. "What the hell d'you think you're doing?"

" _Crucio_ ," Krum entoned.

The air was suddenly full of Cedric's yells, who collapsed on the ground, writhing in pain. Horrified, Harry pointed his wand at Krum. " _Expelliarmus_!" The wand flew from Krum's hand. After a second's pause, Krum physically lunged at Cedric.

"Stupefy!" Harry yelled. The spell hit Krum dead on, and he fell forward, motionless, face down in the grass. Harry dashed over to Cedric, who had stopped twitching as well and was lying there panting, his hands over his face.

"Are you all right?" Harry said roughly, grabbing Cedric's arm.

"I can't believe it," Cedric panted. "I thought he was all right."

"I don't think that was him, "Harry said. "Did you see his eyes? I think he was bewitched or  _imperiused_  or something."

"So what do we do with him?" Cedric said.

"Can't leave him here like this," Harry said. "The screwt will get him."

"No, it's ok. I spongified the screwt's legs."

Harry made a noise. "Yeah, that wore off. It's pretty mad. It's gonna shred the next thing it catches."

"Serve him right," Cedric said even as he picked up Krum's wand and sent up a shower of red sparks.

"Shall we go find Fleur?" Harry said.

The walls of the maze started to move again, so they ran before their passage was blocked.

They found her on the ground, unconscious, wrapped in fifty or more tendrils of Devil's Snare. Haruhi knelt beside her, trying to pull them off. But for every two she removed, another one wrapped around, making progress slow. Harry ran forward the help while Cedric severed the vines that were sneaking up on Haruhi's back and wrapping around her neck using the necklace Kyoya had given her as a trellis. "Thanks," she said.

"I owed you," Cedric nodded as he pulled off the still twitching vine trying to wrap itself around Haruhi's throat.

Haruhi touched the locket to make sure it was still there. It was and undamaged. Unnoticed however, a link in the chain had twisted open, ever so slightly.

"Is she all right?" Harry said once they had Fleur free.

"She's breathing," Haruhi answered. Free of not, Fleur hadn't woken up.

Harry took Fleur's wand and sent up a shower of red sparks. "I guess we're down to three."

"Guess so," Cedric said.

"Krum's out then?" Haruhi said.

"Oh yeah," the guys nodded.

"Huh."

The maze picked that moment to shift again and a path straight to the Goblet opened up. They all stared at it disbelievingly. "You know, as soon as somebody touches it, we're all out of here," Haruhi pointed out. They all took off running.

Cedric, with his long legs, was way out in front. So focused on the Goblet, gleaming on its plinth, that he never saw the silvery line inches above the ground. He tripped and went face down into the sod. From the side, an immense black shape hurtled towards the fallen boy. Eight legs, eight eyes, enormous pincers. This must be what Aragog had looked like in his prime.

" _Stupefy_!" Harry yelled; the spell hit the spider's gigantic, hairy black body, but for all the good it did, he might as well have thrown a stone at it; the spider jerked, scuttled around, and ran at Harry instead.

_"Stupefy! Impedimenta! Stupefy!"_

But it was no use – the spider was either so large, or so magical, spells were doing no more than aggravating it. Henry had only a glimpse of the venom dripping from its razor-sharp pincers as it closed for the kill.

 _"Levicorpus!"_ he heard Haruhi shout. Harry was jerked up into the air by his ankle, just ahead of the fatal bite and clean out of the spider's grasp. It reared up to catch its now flying prey, so Haruhi threw Harry into a bush to hide him.

" _Spongify_!" Cedric shouted. The one leg it hit wobbled then folded, but the spider lifted it up and charged Cedric on the other seven.

 _"Incendio!"_ Harry jabbed his wand with all his might. It singed the hair and caused the spider to turn once more.

Then Haruhi did the weirdest thing the boys could imagine. She started whistling bird calls. On the third repeat, it noticed her and wheeled. As it opened its pincers, she pointed her wand right at its open mouth and called out  _"Cantis!"_

A strange clicky-gurgly noise started coming out of the spider.

"Did you just put a singing jinx on it?" Harry looked amazed.

"It can't bite if it can't close its fangs," Haruhi said.

It reached up and knocked Harry out of the high hedge, the sharp branches tearing at his legs. The smell of blood only increased the spider's intensity. It may not have been able to bite, but it had the two of them trapped between its front legs. The song grew angry and vengeful. They would be in trouble when it wore off. Haruhi whistled again.

A shadow fell over them.

A winged serpent with the claws and head of a rooster swooped down and landed square on the acromantutla's back. A sharp peck right behind the eyes and the spider collapsed. For good measure, the cockatrice buried its beak in the exoskeleton, tore it open with a tremendous cracking sound, ripped out the brain and swallowed it with a toss of its head. It glared malevolently at the humans still standing between the dead spider's legs. Haruhi timidly whistled the "not a threat" tune again. The cockatrice gave an angry caw. Haruhi wasn't exactly sure what it said, but she was pretty sure it meant "I don't share my food." The three humans backed away slowly.

They ducked around a corner of the hedge to catch their breath.

"You called a bloody cockatrice," Cedric said.

"I didn't know how else to kill the spider," Haruhi said.

"Don't complain," said Harry. "It worked."

They panted some more, trying to catch their breath.

"So does somebody want to go get that bloody Goblet so we can all get out of here," Harry said.

Three heads poked out from the intersection of the hedgerow. To their right, the cockatrice was busy dismembering the spider, to their left, the Goblet gleamed bright blue on its marble pillar.

"It's yours," Harry said to Cedric. "When the spider knocked me out of the bushes, it tore up my leg. I can't outrun you."

"Sorry about that," Haruhi said.

"A messed up leg beats being dead any day."

Cedric looked at Haruhi. She shrugged. "Me and antique vase-like objects set on pillars are not a great combination. Besides, I couldn't outrun you under any circumstances. I'm the least athletic person I know. I'll stay and make sure the cockatrice doesn't go after you."

Cedric looked at them long and hard. "No."

"What do you mean ' _No_?'" Haruhi said. "It's right there."

"I mean  _No_."

"You earned it. You're the winner," Harry said irritably. If the gash in his leg wasn't hurting so badly that he couldn't put weight on it, he suspected he'd find out he'd sprained his ankle.

" _Am_  I the winner? You saved my neck twice in here. And Haruhi did once," he said, turning away from the kind of glory Hufflepuff House hadn't known in centuries.

"You pulled the Devil's Snare off me," she said. "We're even."

"But you were trying to save Fleur at the time. And you, Harry, you told me about the dragons. I'd have gone down in the first task if you hadn't."

"You told him about the dragons?" Haruhi said.

"Well it seemed only fair since Fleur and Krum both knew."

" _I_  didn't know."

"We thought you did."

"You guys suck." She turned and marched back out onto the path.

Harry and Cedric looked at each other. "We gonna let him take it?" Cedric said.

"She actually doesn't seem too like it when people just give her things. She's a lot happier when she earns it."

_"She?"_

"Oh, um, yeah. Haruhi's a girl."

"Ok, I feel really stupid," Cedric said as he helped Harry up. Leaning on the older boy, Harry hobbled towards the Goblet. They caught up to Haruhi just feet from the pillar.

"We're really sorry we didn't tell you about the dragons," Harry said.

"Doubly so, because you helped us find out what our dragons were," Cedric said.

"No I didn't. I didn't know anything about your dragons."

"But Krum wouldn't have helped us of you hadn't helped him first."

"That's convoluted, but I'll take it," she said. "Meanwhile, what are we going to do about this thing?" She gestured to the Goblet but it was closer than she thought. She hit it with the back of her arm and knocked it off the pillar. Without thinking, all three of them reached out to catch it.

~oOo~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another long wait, another long chapter. I really will try to get better about that.
> 
> Not as many funny moments as I would like, but the tasks aren't really that funny, are they?
> 
> Anyway, Thanks to the readers who left kudos and to Unformal_Sorrelle, felicigra, Anon, Forestphoenix and cero-ate for the comments. They brighten my day so very much!


	20. The Graveyard at Little Hangleton

.

* * *

~oOo~

"What have you done?" Dumbledore demanded as he shook the fake Alastor Moody by the shirt.

"You expect me to just tell you?"

Dumbledore' eyes narrowed. "Severus," he said softly, "have you any Veritaserum prepared?"

"If you have hurt any of our students, you will find we can be less than gracious," Suoh said.

"Hurt your students?" the fake Moody laughed. "Is that the extent of your imagination?"

~oOo~

The first thought that crossed Haruhi's mind was that she should never go within ten feet of a vase on a pillar. It never ended well.

She bumped the vase, it toppled over, she lunged to catch it (the guys did the same), then something grabbed her behind the navel, spun her through the air and slammed her hard on the ground.

"What just happened?" Haruhi said, opening her eyes with no small effort.

"I think the Goblet was a portkey," Harry said.

"They could have warned us," said Cedric, rising.

The three of them peered through the twilight fog which hovered low on the ground.

"I thought when someone touched the cup, they won. The contest was over. Is this another level?" Haruhi asked, confused. As she sat up, the twisted link of chain around her neck shifted and the locket slipped unnoticed onto the murky haze.

"I don't know," said Cedric as he stepped around a gravestone to read the inscription. "Where are we?"

"Not in the Scottish Highlands," Haruhi said. "The mountains are gone."

"Same time zone, though," Harry looked at the sky.

"This doesn't feel right," said Cedric. "Wands out, d'you reckon?" The other two nodded.

Harry took a few steps, looking around. The place seemed familiar, but not familiar like some place he'd been. Familiar like some place out of a dream.

A dream.

He'd been here before in a dream.

~oOo~

The crystal balls that had been following Haruhi, Harry and Cedric all went dark at the same moment.

"What happened?" Hikaru demanded.

"Where did she go?" Kaoru yelled.

"She was right there with the Triwizard Cup," Tamaki said.

"And you told us..."

Mori sat bolt upright. "She is in danger."

Kyoya pulled out a locket that matched hers. He gazed at it for second then heard Honey's voice coming at him softly. "Give me the locket, Kyo-chan," the small blonde said.

Kyoya shook his head. "Ranka asked me to keep her safe."

"And you created a spell that will do just that. But if she is in danger of attack, we all know who needs to go." Honey held out his hand. Very, _very_ reluctantly, Kyoya handed the locket to him. "Open it and put your thumb onto her picture."

Honey did so and was immediately vaporized and sucked into the picture.

~oOo~

"Who are you really?" Dumbledore asked firmly, once the Veritaserum had taken effect.

The man smiled as though he were being compelled to say something he wanted to say anyway. "Bartemius Crouch... Junior."

Karkaroff blinked in surprise. "Not possible. He died in Azkaban."

Crouch glared at the former Death Eater turned Durmstrang Headmaster. "You mean you sent me there to die. But my mother took my place and died in my stead.

"What was the spell you just cast?" Suoh said, uninterested in their personal vendettas.

"I triggered a spell previously cast."

"And what spell was that?" Dumbledore said.

"An _Imperius_ curse."

"Against whom?"

"Viktor Krum."

"Why my student?" Karkaroff demanded.

"Because you sent me to Azkaban."

"And what did you command him to do?" Suoh said. Really, these European wizards were so easy to distract. No wonder one highly focused dark wizard had caused such chaos in their midst a decade ago. He shuddered to think what his own mother could have done turned loose on these people.

"Disable the other Champions except Harry Potter."

"Disable, not kill?" Dumbledore said.

Suoh reevaluated. Maybe Dumbledore could see beyond the obvious.

"Disable, not kill," Crouch confirmed.

"Why?"

"Living witnesses to sow dissension and distrust among the major schools of magic."

"But not hurt Harry Potter. Why not?" Maxime pressed her lips together tightly at the peculiar favoritism. Suoh couldn't help but notice that even confronted with this man's strategy, it was working.

"The Dark Lord needs him for a sacrifice."

~oOo~

A low-lying mist was rising off the damp ground of the graveyard. Mitsukuni closed the locket, put it around his neck and slipped it under his shirt. He narrowed his eyes and he pulled out his wand, rolling it in the palm of his right hand. He looked around, listened to the unnatural quiet, inhaled, sifting through the scents of life and death that hung on the air. "Haru-chan?" There was silence in the graveyard. He slipped off his shoes and peeled off his socks, purposefully feeling the sparse grass and bare earth with the naked soles of his feet. The earth told him where Haruhi's locket was. He picked it up and slipped it in his pocket. There was no sign of her in the grey fog. The fingers of his left hand extended, then contracted, then moved on unseen currents as he touched the elemental air. "Haru-chan?" He called out again.

"Senpai?" he heard her answer.

He turned to see three of the five champions moving his direction.

"How did you get here?" Honey asked her.

She shook her head. "I don't know."

"The Triwizard Cup was a portkey," Harry answered.

"Then we need to get back to the cup and take it back to the maze," Honey said.

"Why?" said Cedric. "I mean this place is creepy, but it's clearly deserted."

Honey dig his toes into the dirt. "No, it's not. There is another living person here. And a ... a not living person."

"If you mean dead people, this _is_ a cemetery." Cedric refused to let this little blond kid get under his skin.

"Not dead," Honey said digging his foot into the earth, "but not quite alive, either. Something in the shadowlands in between."

"You're just trying to freak us out," Cedric said.

"No, he's right," said Harry. "Someone's coming."

They peered through the gloom as the mist gave way to a hooded figure. It was carrying something swathed in blankets in both arms, cradling it like a baby. Encumbered as it was, it was unlikely to be an active threat. Cedric and Haruhi lowered their wands.

Harry screamed in pain, dropping his wand and collapsing to the ground, his scar clutched in his hands. Cedric and Haruhi stared at Harry in horror then rushed over to help him; Honey glanced over quickly, then back to the hooded figure in time to see the bundled figure struggle up from the coverings in the other man's arms. It was no baby; rather an ancient man, past his lifespan, corpse-pale, flesh sunken, reeking of rot and decay. "Four?" it said. "I only need one. Kill the spares."

Haruhi and Cedric's mouths both opened in surprise, neither even raising their wands. Honey drew power from the ground then stamped his foot into the earth so hard it dipped and waved like water. He drew his wand upwards even as the hooded figure raised his. " _Avada ked..._ "

A wall of soil and stone rose up and was briefly silhouetted by brilliant green light.

Harry looked at him stunned. "I didn't think that spell could be blocked or deflected."

"I did neither. There are a lot of dead plants and insects in the ground right now. Fortunately, I'm Buddhist not Hindu. Take the portkey and get out of here."

"Ummm..." Haruhi said.

The wall that had saved them now stood between the students and the cup.

"Can you apparate out of here?" Honey said.

"No," said Harry.

"No," said Haruhi.

"Yes," said Cedric, "but I'm not yet skilled enough to take anyone with me."

"Hold on to this, you may need it." Honey threw Haruhi's locket back to her.

There was another flash of energy and the wall began to crumble.

"You Summoned your broom without line-of-sight, can you Summon the portkey?" Honey asked.

Harry knew it would be tricky; he couldn't touch it because that would activate it and leave the others stranded. But if he dropped the spell before the cup arrived and sidestepped, it should land just behind him. "Accio Twizard Cup!"

"Expulso!" the hooded figure called out even before the cup began to move.

The cup zoomed towards him, followed by a blue energy bolt tracing the same path as though locked on. Harry twisted out of the way as he'd been planning. Diggory, standing behind him, wasn't so lucky. He ducked the cup but either didn't see the blue bolt or wasn't quick enough once he did. It grazed him midsection throwing him backwards before exploding the headstone behind him, showering him in fragments of granite.

"Cedric!" Haruhi called out.

They all turned.

"Injured but alive. Keep fighting," he said even as he fell, his arm draped across the black quarter of his black and yellow Hufflepuff tunic.

Haruhi threw a shielding spell around Cedric. Honey smiled at her. Always defensive, but it really was cute how protective she was for those she cared about.

"Enough!" The putrid old man grabbed the wand out of his servant's hand and rammed it into the servant's arm so hard he drew blood. The cloaked servant threw his head back and screamed in an agony far worse than the painful injury itself might have caused. The hood slipped back revealing an unkempt man with scraggly hair, a pudgy face and an upturned nose.

"Pettigrew," Harry growled, his voice full of hatred.

"You know him?" Honey asked.

"He betrayed my parents - he's the reason I'm an orphan - and he framed my godfather for his crime, sending him to Azkaban prison for twelve years."

Honey barely had time to process this when a stream of black smoke like a meteor streaked through the sky and impacted the ground nearby. It resolved itself into a black cloaked wizard. Another, then three more, then five more, then four, then others, one by one in rapid succession. Twenty-four wizards plus the two who had summoned them.

"Bring me Potter. Kill the others. Wormtail, begin the ritual. Now!"

Harry glanced at the group encircling them. The Triwizard Cup, their speedy salvation, lay at the feet of one of the death eaters. It was not possible to get to it first. Harry tried to find the words to apologize for getting them all killed, but Honey just looked around, broadened his stance, twitched his left fingers and rolled his wand in his right hand. He looked like this was going to be interesting.

The first curse was thrown right at Harry. " _Stupefy_!" But the little blond jelly-fingered the caster, the wand slipped in his hand and went sideways, grazing another death eater leaving him curiously half paralyzed. In retaliation, another threw a curse Harry didn't know, but Honey raised his left arm sharply and a blast of wind knocked the death eater backwards, sending the curse harmlessly into the sky.

" _Expelliarmus_!" Harry disarmed him for good measure. Honey nodded his approval.

Harry scanned the black robed circle, but his eye had lingered a moment too long on the cup and the Death Eater noticed it. As the cloaked figure reached for it, Harry heard Honey's singsong voice call out " _Brackium Emendo!"_ The man's arms almost doubled in length and hung useless as rubber hoses, lacking any bones. Harry smirked, remembering when Lockhart had done that to him second year. It was the smile that made Harry realize that Honey was playing with them. A tripping jinx, a tongue-tying hex. Somebody needed to tell him these Death Eaters weren't playing.

Then stupidly, one of them did.

He pointed his wand at Haruhi. She hadn't cast a single offensive spell; she'd spent the whole time defending the downed Cedric. " _Avada_..."

Honey whipped his head around and brought his left hand up into a tight fist pulling all the air from the man's lungs. Unable to speak, unable to finish his incantation, unable even to gasp for breath; no air would return as long as Honey held his hand in that fist. Honey raised his fist, taunting the others, his bright blue eyes turned cold as he watched Haruhi's would-be murderer sink to the ground. " _Confringo!"_ The wand exploded in the Death Eater's hand. Honey gave the others a slow, terrifying evaluation, then he started to move.

If Harry lived to be a hundred, he'd never see anything like that again. Even the most accomplished wizards threw a spell, recovered, threw a spell, recovered. But in Honey's hands, the recoil from one spell became the opening movement of the next. Harry could feel power from the earth flowing into the blond man, unending, irresistible. Every spell he threw hit its mark. Every curse he deflected hit another Death Eater. Honey drew one foot back sharply, digging into the ground and a chasm opened beneath three Death Eaters. They fell in, then he pushed his foot back and they found themselves buried in the earth to the shoulders, unable to move. Another wizard's wand shattered. Another found himself blind and mute. Half the spells Honey threw wordlessly, and half of those that remained, he cast in Japanese or whatever the Asian language of magic was, so the Death Eaters had no idea what was coming until it hit them. Harry was lost in amazement until a wand pushed into his throat and the soft voice of Lucius Malfoy spoke in his ear " _Petrificus totalus._ " Harry's arms and legs locked up and he fell. Lucius dragged Harry towards Wormtail and an oversized cauldron. It wasn't fear that ran through Harry, but a sense that the Horntail was going to be very disappointed in him.

" _Stupefy_!" Haruhi called out when she noticed what happened to Harry, but the spell missed. Malfoy shot a slashing curse back at her. Her shielding charm wavered and collapsed. Her wand had a Hou-ou feather core. The Hou-ou bird fled rather than face conflict; its feather in Haruhi's wand wouldn't fight. "Senpai!"

Honey spun to face them. A half second glance told him what had happened. "Take Cedric and the portkey and go," he said.

"I won't leave you!" Haruhi replied.

"If you don't, Cedric will bleed to death."

She looked down. Cedric's face was pale as the grey marble tombstones. The black fabric was now shiny and damp, the gold fabric was trimmed in red. She looked up to see Harry bound to a gravestone inscribed "Tom Riddle." She looked at Honey, still parrying spells and fighting the twenty-six, now pared down to fourteen dark wizards and found herself unable to make the impossible choice.

"I'll get Harry out," he assured her.

She waited few seconds more, then held on tight to Cedric. " _Accio portkey."_ It flew into her hands and they were gone.

Another dark wizard's wand cracked in two, but the odds didn't improve as Lucius Malfoy returned to the fight. "I will guard you, My Lord, until you are strong enough to take this upstart yourself."

"Now Wormtail!" the wizened thing commanded. The servant fully unwrapped the bundle. It was even worse than Honey had thought. Red eyes peered out from not just old but scaly, pale skin, the color of a dead reptile. The nose was flat, the legs too thin to support his own weight. The one called Wormtail gently placed it in the cauldron. _Please drown, please drown,_ Harry thought.

A Death Eater screamed as Honey redirected a bolt of lightning into his chest.

Pettigrew pointed his wand at Harry for one horrifying second, then slipped to the ground at his feet. " _Bones of the father, unknowingly given, renew your son!"_

Dust rose from the ground and flew into the cauldron creating blue sparks.

The partially stupefied wizard from earlier shook off the spell and threw a shaky curse that went wide.

Wormtail pulled out a silver knife and placed it on his own wrist over the cauldron, then paused.

"Do it!" the creature inside commanded. Suddenly Harry understood why Malfoy had been in such a hurry to rejoin a losing fight.

" _Flesh of a servant, willingly sacrificed, revive your master!_ " Pettigrew sliced off his own hand and let it fall into the cauldron.

Malfoy took a blast full on, was hurled from the circle and hit a headstone, knocking him unconscious.

Wormtail stumbled over to Harry, pain and blood loss defining his movements, but hastening to finish the ritual as though his own torments would cease at the end. He made a slashing motion with his wand but much to both of their surprises, it was Pettigrew's own chest that opened up. The mirror grew warm in Harry's pocket. Wormtail then took the knife he had used to sever his own hand and slashed mercilessly, catching Harry's blood. Gasping and shaking in agony, he completed the spell.

"B- blood of the enemy...forcibly taken... resurrect your foe."

Wormtail staggered back to the cauldron and threw in the silver dagger coated in Harry's blood. The fluid in the cauldron turned blinding bright white.

Wormtail dropped to the ground cradling the bleeding stump of his arm crying out in pain. Everyone else turned to watch the cauldron. The fire beneath it flared and the liquid boiled over, sending out diamond sparks in all directions. For a moment, nothing happened.

 _Let it have drowned,_ Harry thought, _let it have gone wrong…._

Then with a great cloud of steam billowing off the cauldron, everything else stopped. The vapor hung in the air over the now dead fire. _Please_ , Harry repeated his silent prayer, _please let it be dead, please let it have gone wrong._ But then through the mist in front of him, he saw the dark outline of a man rise, tall, skeletal, corpse pale, but whole and alive.

Lord Voldemort was back.

~oOo~

Haruhi slammed hard into the ground and was immediately inundated by the incongruous sound of applause and cheers and a band playing. She opened her eyes to stare at Cedric, white as a sheet and covered in blood. She wasn't sure if he was still breathing or if she had knocked the last bit of wind out of him when they landed.

"I need a healer!" she called out, but they couldn't hear her over the cheering and the band. She gently set him down and sat up, Cedric's blood dripping from her hands and covering her pale blue Ouran tunic.

Abruptly, the band stopped and everyone gasped.

"Haruhi!" Apparation wasn't possible at Hogwarts, so no one ever figured out how Tamaki got down to Haruhi so fast. "Are you all right?"

"It's Cedric!" She was fighting hard even to catch her breath. "He needs help!"

Dumbledore and Chairman Suoh ran over, with Madam Pomfrey close behind. "Moody" was being held by Karkaroff and Maxime, and given what he had done to their students, they weren't about to let him go; but the other patrol wizards, Hagrid, McGonagall and Flitwick were rushing over. "Everybody stay back," Dumbledore commanded.

Evidently the Host Club didn't feel this applied to them; they swarmed Haruhi.

Madame Pomfrey made concerned noises.

"Is he dead?" Haruhi asked.

Echoes of the word _dead_ rebounded through the crowd. "He's dead?" "Cedric's dead." "Dead..." "Cedric's dead..."

Amos Diggory pushed through the crowd. "My son! Let me see my son!"

"Not dead yet," said Madam Pomfrey, "but not far from it."

Professor Trelawny gasped. "The brightest clouds make terrible darkness."

"Not now!" snapped McGonagall.

"We need to get him to the hospital wing," Dumbledore said solemnly.

"We need to get him to St. Mungo's," the healer answered tartly. "I don't have facilities to deal with this kind of injury."

"Are you alright?" Chairman Suoh asked Haruhi gently.

She nodded.

"Where's Mitsukuni?" Mori said.

"He stayed behind to rescue Harry."

~oOo~

"Enough!" Voldemort's voice carried through the graveyard. He didn't shout, but he very definitely commanded.

The Death Eaters all stopped attacking and bowed to him.

Mitsukuni Haninozuka also stopped, more out of curiosity than anything else. His eyes moved over to Harry, still tied and chained to the gravestone. Honey's toes dig into the earth trying to measure the strength of the physical and magical bonds that held Harry fast. With luck, this guy was an idiot who would distract his own followers long enough to allow Honey to get Harry free.

The Dark Lord glided over to the gravestone where Harry was bound. "I should thank you for returning me to life, but it _is_ your fault I was in that state. Rest assured, I pay _all_ my debts, good and bad." He pointed his wand at the unconscious Lucius " _Ennervate_!" The aristocratic Death Eater woke with a start, bruised and cradling his arm where it had smashed into a headstone. Voldemort turned his gaze on his followers, "I am pleased that my little family has returned... and will punish those who abandoned me... But have you truly returned to me? I find myself asking why it took thirteen years? Thirteen years in which you lived in peace and comfort whilst I, **I!** Your lord and master was left to struggle in darkness even to exist! When you knew I had taken steps to ensure my immortality! I, who was mightier than any wizard living!"

"Master, I..." Wormtail gasped, holding out the bloody stump of his arm.

"You returned out of fear of your friends, not loyalty to me... " the Dark Lord curled his lips in distaste. "But at least you did return, which is more than can be said for some."

The Death Eaters shifted uncomfortably.

"As you sacrificed to return my body, I shall repay you in kind. Behold, all of you..."

Voldemort raised his wand again it whirled through the air. A streak of what looked like molten silver hung shining in the wand's wake. Momentarily shapeless, formed itself into a gleaming replica of a human hand, bright as moonlight, which soared down and fixed itself upon Wormtail's bleeding wrist.

He held up his magical hand and stared at it where it seamlessly joined his arm. "Thank you, my lord. Thank you. It is beautiful, generous lord." He fell on the ground and kissed Voldemort's robe.

"May your loyalty never waiver again Wormtail," said Voldemort.

"Never, My Lord."

"Avery, what have you to say?" Voldemort moved on to the next in the circle. "What is your excuse for not making any effort to find me?"

"We did not know where you were," Avery said. "We thought you were…"

" _Crucio_!" Voldemort interrupted him.

Avery fell, screaming on the ground, writhing in agony. "You knew I had made myself immortal! No excuses!" Voldemort rounded on the next in the circle. "And you, Lucius, why did you do nothing?"

"On the contrary, I searched diligently for eleven years, but My Lord had hidden his secrets too well. Until two years ago when I came across a rare book. A rare book indeed, and of such power I knew it had to be of My Lord's making. I presented to it a young girl, foolish but a pure blood, that it might consume her and use her life force to resurrect you."

Voldemort narrowed his eyes. "I felt this stirring. Why did you not complete the deed?"

"My Lord had removed himself to the Chamber of Secrets for his final victory, to which I had no access. But it appears there was one other who _did_ have access..." Malfoy's gaze slipped over to Harry, struggling to throw off the petrification charm.

"I see."

He turned to the three buried chest-deep in soil. He waived his wand to release them, but Honey stamped the ground and the earth closed back in.

"They have not said they are sorry yet. Trying to hurt my friends is bad!" Honey said in his high, childish voice.

Voldemort turned again, stopping about thirty feet from the boy, staring unbelieving at the small child defying him. The contrast could scare have been more striking: tall, thin, pale-as-death, eerie red eyes versus short, muscled, bright blue eyes and golden hair.

"You expect them to apologize for following my orders?"

"With an Unbreakable Vow to never do it again, please."

"I'll make you a better offer," the tall one said. "Surrender now and I will make your death painless."

"With no due respect, that's the stupidest offer I've ever heard," the short one answered. He didn't take his eyes off Voldemort, but he opened his left hand and the Death Eater who tried to kill Haruhi frantically gasped for air, the sound emphasizing Honey's point. His hand free, he gestured at the dark wizards, variously unconscious or trying to control elongated, nonfunctional limbs and their shattered wands. "You'd have to be much more powerful than your followers here for that to anything other than comical."

"You think I am not? I, who am a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin. My mother was Merope, the last of the ancient and pure blood family of Gaunt. You see that house up on the hillside? A Muggle lived there, while due to that cowardly, pandering Statute of Secrecy, my family were forced to live as peasants in a hovel in this little village. When her father and brother were arrested and sent to Azkaban for torturing and killing mere Muggles, my mother gave a love potion to the young master of the house. At first, her father thought it was just to gain control of his money so she would have a comfortable living until she could arrange their release but the foolish girl fell in love and revealed her true self. The worthless Muggle abandoned her as soon as he found out what she was, leaving her to die of shame and a broken heart and me to be raised in a Muggle orphanage. But I vowed to find him… to revenge myself upon him... and once I came into my powers, I used him as my first step on the road to immortality."

"Hm." Honey considered. "My story's much better. Seven hundred years ago, there was a great lord. He was a Muggle, but rich and kind and just. He did not charge his tenants ruinous rents, instead taking a modest percentage of their harvests, so that if they worked hard, they grew richer and he grew richer as well. He _did_ take part of his wealth and created beautiful gardens and filled his house with art, but for the rest, instead of building fortresses and maintaining samurai, he built wells and roads and schools. His wealth and that of his people grew ten-fold.

"Now his neighbors saw this and grew envious; they raided his lands and abducted his people for he had no defenses. Then a scholar who taught at one of his schools came to him and said, 'I will stop all of this if you give me your daughter to wed.' You see, the scholar was secretly a wizard (in hiding because they were not trusted in those days). The Daimyo agreed. The wizard cast magical flames that the horses of the enemies would not cross and created dreams of such horror that would not abate until the people and goods taken had been returned. Thus the wizard saved the lord, and the Daimyo adopted the wizard as his son and named him his heir and the couple were married and fell in love and lived happily ever after and ate cake every night."

"Cake?" Voldemort looked confused at this non sequitur.

"Admittedly, I added that part myself," Honey said. "But I can't imagine it was really _happily ever after_ if there wasn't any cake involved."

Every person in the graveyard stared, wondering how a kid who just been through a fight like that could _not_ understand what was going on. _Then again_ , a subversive little voice told Harry, _maybe this kid was the_ only _person in the graveyard who understood what was going on._

"Oh I'm sorry!" Honey said, raising a single finger to his chin. "Were you monologuing to impress your friends? I thought we were just swapping stories."

If possible, everyone in the graveyard stared at him even harder.

"Anyway," Honey continued, "your speeches are kind of tedious, so my friend Harry and I are going to go now."

"Oh, I'm afraid ... not...You see, there are some people foolish enough to believe that Harry Potter is capable of destroying me, so I'm going to have to kill him."

"Or you could just decide not to be evil anymore and we could celebrate by splitting this delicious strawberry cake." Honey reached into his bag and produced an enormous cake covered in sugary white icing with a brilliant red strawberry sitting on top. He looked fondly at the cake. "But we can't really split the strawberry, can we? On one hand, you should probably get it because you're not going to be evil anymore. But on the other hand, I really like strawberries, and it was my cake to start with..."

Voldemort it made a slashing motion and the cake shattered, bits of crumb and icing scattering all over the ground.

"Waaaugh!" Honey cried at the sacrilege. "That was bad! And after I went easy on your friends too!"

"Easy?" said one of the Death Eaters. In his confusion, Harry noticed he looked uncommonly like Vincent Crabbe.

"If you're done crying over broken cake," Voldemort gave Honey a mocking bow, "perhaps you will be good enough to witness my triumph over my enemy, and carry word back to those mewling fools at Hogwarts."

Honey appeared to consider. "Not much of a triumph. And it's not even yours."

"What?"

"Well the banana over there is actually the one who beat him," Honey made a vague gesture at tall blond Malfoy. "You're just the executioner, finishing up for him."

Voldemort whipped his head around and glared at Lucius for inadvertently stealing his victory.

"To be meaningful at all," Honey continued, "you'd have to free Harry and give him back his wand."

Voldemort sneered. "Do it."

The Death Eaters looked startled. "My lord..."

"You don't believe I can beat this boy?"

"Harry-chan _is_ really resourceful," Honey said. "But maybe you haven't been paying attention." He glanced around at the Dark Lord's followers. The one called Wormtail was in ratty robes, but the others were well dressed. Meaning they had comfortable lives, which had to be irritating this vain, self-proclaimed lord who had been bundled in rags only minutes before. "Ten galleons says scar-boy beats baldy in a fair duel."

There was stunned silence around the circle. None more so than that coming from Voldemort when it looked like no one would take that bet. He looked furiously around the circle, eyes coming to rest on Malfoy.

"To what end?" The smooth aristocrat finally ended the silence. "I'd wager a thousand, but you won't live long enough to pay."

Honey waived his wand and a golden scroll appeared mid-air then rolled itself up tightly. "My estate will pay if yours will," Honey smiled, all innocence.

Voldemort was still glaring at Malfoy. "Free money," the elegant wizard affected nonchalance, but his jaw was tight and his fingers had gone white, he was pinching his wand so tightly. Harry had a sudden realization that Malfoy would have to pay if Voldemort lost, but Voldemort would keep the cash if he won. Malfoy realized it too. Not a wedge perhaps, but the little blond had driven a splinter at least between the Dark Lord and his devoted follower.

Honey flicked his wand and Harry's bonds fell away. Harry almost collapsed; only sheer will kept him standing in front of the Death Eaters. He staggered over to Honey. "A fair duel," Honey reminded them as he flicked his wrist again and Harry's wand soared out of Malfoy's grasp and into Harry's hand. He turned to Harry and quietly asked "Can you beat him?"

Harry choked out a laugh. "You think he's going to fight fair?"

"A full trained adult against a fourteen year old? This was never going to be fair. I asked if you could beat him."

Harry swallowed hard. "You shouldn't have bet on me."

"The dragons bet on you. Takashi says they are good judges of character."

~oOo~

"Where?" Dumbledore said. "Where are they?"

"I don't know," Haruhi said. "The Goblet was a portkey. I don't know where it took us."

Dumbledore grabbed the Goblet, but nothing happened. The spell was depleted. "Think! What can you remember about the place? Were there any clues?"

"Center yourself," Mori said quietly.

"Details, Haruhi," Kyoya added.

"It was a graveyard," she breathed deeply. "The memorials were written in English. The weather was the same as here and the time of day was the same, so Britain. But no mountains."

"Dragons have a keen sense of smell," said Snape. "Can they trace them?"

Mori considered. "The scent will not have had time to diffuse many miles."

McGonagall's reserve left her. "We just have to wait?"

Dumbledore whirled to face the fake Moody. "You turned the Goblet into a portkey?"

"Yes."

"Where did you send them?"

"To the Dark Lord."

"What location?"

Crouch laughed. "Your potion has worn off. I'm afraid your little students are outnumbered and outmatched."

They all turned back to Haruhi. "How many is Honey-senpai facing?" Kyoya's asked.

"I dunno," Haruhi thought about it. "Maybe thirty?"

"Oh." The Host Club all lost interest and went back to fussing over Haruhi.

Mori paused on the word _outmatched_. "Were any of them any good?"

"I'm sure he'll be ok, Mori-senpai," Haruhi said sincerely. "He's small but very tough. We'll find a way to get to him."

"Hn." Mori gave her a smile and ruffled her hair.

She smiled up at him. "He'd pared them down to about fifteen before I left and he'd shattered so many of their wands the ones standing were starting to have to borrow from the ones he'd disabled, but they were setting up for some dark ritual."

Chairmen Suoh looked intrigued. "And they were willing to face Mitsukuni Haninozuka to complete it. Are your friends desperate or stupid?" he said, turning back to Crouch.

The fake Moody paused for a moment, uncertain how to answer. "Determined," he finally said.

"Stupid," Mori translated.

~oOo~

"I assume you have been taught how to duel, Harry Potter?" said Voldemort softly, his red eyes glinting through the darkness.

A hazy memory, as though looking through Aunt Petunia's sheer living room curtains, came back to him - a memory of the dueling club at Hogwarts he had attended briefly in his second year. But the only two spells he learned were _Expelliarmus_ and _Serpensortia_. He wasn't sure the first would help and he was certain the second would not.

"Ok, here's the plan," Honey whispered to Harry. "You go ahead and start the duel with Flat-Nose and while everyone is watching you, I'll incapacitate his followers."

"I've got a better plan," Harry said. "You get out of here. I'll try to buy you time."

"Time to get on with it Harry Potter," Voldemort said. "First, we bow to each other." He gave him a mocking bow, keeping his snakelike face upturned while his long white fingers made curious little flourish in the air. "Come now, Harry. Bow to death." The Death Eaters gave a low laugh.

Harry stood defiantly, his spine ramrod straight.

"I said bow!" Voldemort threw a spell at him.

Honey jerked his wand up sharply. "Attacking before the duel has started is breaking the rules." He turned to face Malfoy. "A hundred galleons have just been deducted from your account at Gringotts for cheating."

"I never agreed to that," Malfoy looked shocked.

"You should always read the contract before you agree to it." Honey turned to Harry in an aside, "Kyo-chan taught me that one."

"Are you trying to make them angry?" Harry hissed.

"Of course," Honey said. "when people are angry, they don't think straight. And if they can't think straight, they don't fight well. He'll try the same thing on you. And if you don't want to bow, that's ok, but you are at least supposed to salute him."

Harry didn't feel like playing any stupid games, the only reason he raised his wand to his face was so that Honey wouldn't lose the hundred galleons he's taken from Malfoy. He'd still lose the bet, but at least it wouldn't be as much.

Voldemort's thin lips curled into a mocking smile. "Ah, straight and tall, just like your father died."

 _Son of a .._. the Japanese kid was right. Voldemort was trying to throw him farther off balance. As if fifty years of dueling and murder weren't enough advantage. Harry became angry, but not in the way Voldemort had intended. _"Be fierce,"_ Halalfelul had told him. Harry clenched his jaw and Voldemort found himself staring not into the eyes of a cowed fourteen year old, but into the eyes of a Hungarian Horntail.

~oOo~

 _The Dark Lord needs him for a sacrifice._ The words still rang in Dumbledore's head. Not just for what it meant for his favorite student, but for all of wizarding kind. He turned to Crouch once more. "Enough. You are going to tell us where you sent them."

Crouch looked around at his captors and smirked. "No." Dumbledore no doubt knew what the Dark Lord's supporters were attempting, but he was still bound by his reputation as a harmless and kindly old man. To get the information he needed would cost him his place in respectable society. Karkaroff could have done it once, but since his trial he had been reduced to a mewling, weak shadow. He wouldn't risk being sent back to Azkaban for anything. And as for the other so-called wizards ... the other judges, McGonagall, Flitwick, Hagrid ... "You could make me tell you, but you're all too nice."

"I'm not," Suoh said. The smiling, friendly man in the white suit was replaced by someone hard, cold and calculating. Suddenly, everybody was aware that is man was not merely headmaster of a school but sat on the board of seventeen different companies and was chairman of twelve. He was President of the largest bank in Asia. This man played against goblins for money. And won. "You miscalculated," he said. "We Japanese developed bushido, not chivalry. You came to us under deceit. _I don't have to treat you well just because you surrendered."_

Crouch paled, just a little.

Suoh leaned in to press his advantage. "And I can be out of Britain before your Ministry can have me arrested."

~oOo~

When Voldemort met Harry's eyes, he felt a jolt of fear. It lasted no more than a fraction of a second, then it was gone, but Harry had seen it. So had Honey. Harry knew then that Voldemort could not let either of them leave the graveyard alive.

"Tell me, Harry Potter, are you afraid of death?" Voldemort said, trying to regain the psychological upper hand.

Harry continued to look at him out of the Horntail's eyes.

"Answer me," Voldemort said.

Harry did not deign to respond.

"I said answer me! _Imperio_!"

Suddenly Harry felt at peace, a peculiar bliss washing over him and carrying him away. All he had to do was say _yes_. No thinking, just a pleasant dream. _Say yes... just say yes. Nobody wanted to die. Yes. Such a simple word..._

I will not, said a stronger voice in the back of his head. I won't answer...

_Answer him. Say yes..._

I won't do it. I won't say it.

 _Yes_. The word bubbled up towards his lips.

"I WON'T!" Harry spat out.

"You won't?" Voldemort almost cooed. "You insolent little brat! _Crucio!_ "

Every nerve in Harry's body exploded in pain and he sank to the ground screaming.

.

Several interesting things occurred to Mitsukuni Haninozuka. First, if this Dark Lord resorted to the Unforgivable Curses this quickly, that he was genuinely afraid of Harry Potter. Second, that if he used them on his own followers, he controlled them by fear and intimidation not respect and admiration. Third, even with the excuse of being newly resurrected, if he couldn't finish off a half-trained child, he was done. It would take months to recover his reputation and position, if he could at all. And lastly, the Unforgivable Curses were proscribed due to their history, not because they were the worst spells in wizarding lore. Sick, twisted wizards had come up with much worse things than a compulsion spell that could be beat by the strong willed, pain that caused no actual damage, and a quick death. Although that first one could be nasty, since people could accuse you of not trying hard enough to resist. But these were well known spells; he was not using anything rare or exotic to demonstrate his depth of knowledge, he was not using any spell of his own creation demonstrating his power and cleverness.

Honey dug his toes into the ground then stretched them out again. The Death Eaters were so busy laughing at Harry's pain, none of them noticed the earth closing over their feet, trapping them in place. He twitched his wand and the circle of Death Eaters went silent. Utterly and completely silent, as though the air refused to transmit sound. The sudden quiet distracted Voldemort enough that it broke his concentration. Harry was free.

"You dare interrupt our duel?" Voldemort seethed. _"Crucio!"_

Honey sidestepped and the curse missed. "I didn't interrupt anything," Honey said with wide-eyed innocence, as if he hadn't noticed the spell or heard the screams of the Death Eater it hit. "Your duel is strictly between you and Harry-chan. I have a duel going with all your friends." Honey gestured around the circle, then touched a finger to his chin. "They're not very skilled though, are they? I mean, I haven't had anyone but Takashi to spar with all year, and he's really good and all, but I know all his moves, so I was thinking playing with your friends would be waaaay more interesting, but this is kind of like fighting with fourth years, no offense Harry, totally lame. My father would never even let his men out of the dojo if that's the best they could do. Not that that is your fault or anything. I mean, they all wrote you off and moved on with their lives, so it's not like they probably ever even gave your ideas on training a second thought, always assuming you trained with them in the first place."

 _Oh, for the love of Merlin, shut up!_ Harry thought. _You're giving him ideas._

 _Oh, for the love of Merlin, shut up!_ the Death Eatersthought. _You're giving him ideas._

Honey nodded agreeing with his own words. "You really need to have a stern talk with your second in command."

Two of the Death Eaters paled - Malfoy and the one Voldemort called Avery. Honey gave another smile at another piece of information so easily obtained. Two of them, currently present. This Dark Lord did not trust any of his followers enough to have a second.

Harry inhaled slowly to hide his ragged breathing, aware that Honey's banter was buying him time to recover.

The Death Eaters inhaled slowly, hiding their ragged breathing, knowing they needed to silence the small blond. But feet encased in stone, voices silenced, most of them were at a loss. Avery raised his wand.

" _Petrificus partialus,_ " Honey flicked his wand over his shoulder at the Death Eater. The man's wand arm froze mid spell-cast, leaving him in a very awkward pose.

" _Crucio!"_ Voldemort threw at Avery, for making him look like a fool, then turned his wand to Harry. " _Crucio!"_

But this time Harry was ready for him; with reflexes born of hours of Quidditch training, he dove behind a headstone and began firing back. " _Stupefy! Impedementia! Spongify!"_ The curses all went wide. He began throwing jinxes as fast as they came into his head. A stinging jinx. A slug vomiting jinx. Even a singing jinx. All missed or were deflected.

"Do you intend to die cowering on the ground, Harry Potter? Or would you rather die on your feet as your father did?" Voldemort advanced for the kill.

"Harry-chan," Honey's voice sounded regretful, "You are fierce and determined, and that will often tip the fight if you are close. But at the end of the day, skill and experience are still more important." He pulled out a locket, took Harry's hand and pressed his thumb into the picture. Harry was sucked into the locket like liquid pulled into a suction tube.

Voldemort let out a howl of rage and honed in on Honey. "Sending him away is pointless. I will still hunt him down and kill him and you will have died for nothing."

Honey sighed sadly as he released the silencing spell so all the Death Eaters could hear what he said. "You really should have taken the cake. I didn't send Harry-chan away to save him ... I mean, I did partly ... but mostly he had to leave because I promised the Japanese Minister of Magic that no living man would ever see what I'm about to show you." He paused to let what he said sink in. "But at this point, I have seen you fight. I know what you're capable of. And you all know at least part of what I am capable of. And killing someone so far beneath my skill level would be little better than murder so I will tell you what - lower your wands and I will let you live, because I do not feel like splitting my soul today."

The wands of the death eaters faltered but did not quite go down. They were afraid of what Voldemort would do if they surrendered. They all looked to their master.

"My Lord," Lucius Malfoy said, "you are newly resurrected and your power may not be fully restored yet."

"Too cowardly and weak to take him yourself?" Voldemort hissed.

"If My Lord commands it," Malfoy bowed. "But whoever takes down the scion of the Haninozuka becomes the most powerful and feared wizard in all Asia. I have no desire to set myself up as a rival or deprive you of your rightful status."

"Haninozuka?" Voldemort paused.

"Did Wormtail neglect to tell you who we would be up against?" Malfoy said smoothly.

Pettigrew's pudgy face looked panicked. "Not my doing, Lord! I was not the one who set up this tournament! Nor I who picked the champions!"

Voldemort seethed in anger at the cowardice of the vermin around him and at the little blond boy who smiled and waved at him. Their eyes met again, then Honey raised his wand and fire shot out forming into a golden dragon of living flame which towered above them and let out a great roar that shook buildings throughout the village. It circled once, then twice, around the Death Eaters, still trapped mid-calf in stone, mere inches from their noses, the smell of singed robes and sound of crackling hair emphasizing the unrelenting heat. The fire grew blindingly and began migrating into the circle, converging on the little wizard before exploding outward.

All across southern Yorkshire and the East Midlands, muggles and wizards alike swore they saw a column, brighter than the noonday sun, shoot to the sky, followed by a shockwave and a peculiar pink bunny-shaped cloud.

~oOo~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this one took a while (again). I wrote myself into a corner and it took me a while to get out. It's also annoying when a passage that you cut out for flow reasons and suddenly would have been really nice if you had left in. (Like that Honey's wand has a golden dragon whisker core.) Anyway, thanks for all the kudos and comments. They totally make my day!
> 
> And yeah, it turned into a comic book fight with way more repartee than any actual fight would have, but I couldn't resist having Honey poking at Voldemort.


End file.
